The Secret Diary Of A Fat Girl..Has Her Mojo Back.. And It's here To Stay!

[bunny_hops]

Ok, I've pretty much spent most of the day on my backside..my fingers have had plenty of exericse on the laptop :flirt2:

I've been helping my eldest with tomb raider. I'm glad I haven't started the shred again, as it's really helped my left knee, it's pretty much back to 'normal' now, my shin hurts a bit, but nothing too major..so I'll be back on the shred tomorrow and bike!!...I WILL!!! I'll probably have a walk to the post office too before it shuts

B) chocolate shake
L) 4 crisp bread,cheese triangle,beetroot
D) rice infusions,broccoli,fine beans
S) watermelon fans, yoghurt, honeydew melon

approx 8 skittles (my eldest had some and gave them to me, I couldn't say no could?!)

I've just looked down at my feet (thinking I might change my polish) and my ankles look slimmer!...I'll measure them tomorrow Would love to look down and see my gut gone, wouldn't that be lovely!!

 

[Rachgleeson]

Oh your eating one of my faves, crispbread with cheese triangle and beetroot, mmmm. I also had skittle today, just a few out of my daughters pack tut tut lol. Sounds like your doing well though hun,. keep it up!!

 

[Gemma79]

My shrewd came today too but as I did a session at the gym I haven't tried it yet, pro ally will have a go tomorrow. Glad your knee is feeling better and hope you have a lovely weekend x

 

[bunny_hops]

Oh your eating one of my faves, crispbread with cheese triangle and beetroot, mmmm. I also had skittle today, just a few out of my daughters pack tut tut lol. Sounds like your doing well though hun,. keep it up!!

I've just had another 2 of them, I didn't really feel hungry, I just fancied nibbling lol! I eat so much beetroot it's mad! I love the stuff!

 

[bunny_hops]

My shrewd came today too but as I did a session at the gym I haven't tried it yet, pro ally will have a go tomorrow. Glad your knee is feeling better and hope you have a lovely weekend x

Thanks hun, let me know how you do

 

[bunny_hops]

So everything I had planned to do, I haven't done any of it!! I took my eldest to see his dad this morning... *groan* then I dropped the kids off to my mums, then went home and bathed and blow dryed the cat, hoovered all up again, cleaned the kitchen and now it 3pm and it's time for me to have some lunch..

Where does the time go?!

B) chocholate shake
L) crisp breads and salad

Not sure what dinner will be...thinking a ww sweet and sour..

 

[Rachgleeson]

Bathed and blow dryed the cat?? that must of been fun lol. I have never even tried that with my cat, he would hate it!!

 

[toofatkat]

Lol I can't imagine my cat coming anywhere near the hairdryer

 

[bunny_hops]

I have 2 cats, the one is very long haired, he gets brushed a lot and he looks after himself too but yesterday I just though, with it being hot and dusty I'd give him a little bath lol!

He didn't cry out in the bath at all, he just sat there while he was shampoo'd, then I put him on the table with a towel, and blow dryed him, again he didn't cry out, he did try to get away a few times, but I think that was more the noise than anything as he seemed to really like the heat, he was closing his eyes at one point lol!

He's a very laid back cat though

 

[bunny_hops]

Last night

B) Chocolate shake
L) Crisp breads and salad
D) ww sweet and sour, broccoli and peas
S) watermelon fans, actimel cherry yoghurt

 

[bunny_hops]

Grrrr!! I've just had a sneeky weigh in and according to the scales I've lost 1lb :sigh: I don't offically weigh in tomorrow and at alot can change in one day (I remember going from a 2lb on the Sunday to a 5lb loss on the Monday) but I just don't think it will change!

My first 3 monthly weigh in's were

1) -17lbs
2)- 16lbs
3)- 12lbs

Then it went to 6lbs for the month, then I fell off the wagon and it was Christmas and my monthly losses were awful, the last 2 months, I've lost 8lbs then 7lbs.

Tomorrow is the end of another month, and if it's just 1lb then that brings my total for the month to 6lbs.

I'm just so fed up at the moment. I knew this wasn't going to be an easy ride, I didn't expect miracles and the weight to run off, but I just don't know what's the matter with me!!!!

I'm eating in the rules, not cheating, my cals and fat are fine and I just feel like crap!..I really want to hit that self destruct button right now.

I'm unhappy being a mammouth, but I was happy when I could eat what I wanted, now...I'm just unhappy and peed off, I feel like walking to the shop and getting chocolate, cos why not do it...it's not going to alter my weight for tomorrow.

I'm sick of being this way, I hate it!

 

[toofatkat]

Don't get disheartened. You've had fantastic losses. I would love to lose weight at that speed. I hate being this size too I just have to keep saying that every little counts and ONE day soon I WILL be normal again . Keep smiling x

 

[toofatkat]

Oh and if you want chocolate have some. But only a little bit and say to yourself that it's a treat not a feeling sorry for myself chocolate . That way you'll be able to stop at the one bar and carry on as normal the day after

 

[Zafi]

Bless ur heart, 6lb in a month is good... any loss is better then a gain, perhaps try increasing ur physical activities?
As for chocolate ... buy a bar... snap it into single squares... get 8 bits of cling film .. and cling film the single pieces and pop them in ur freezer to freeze them, wen u feel the need for a little treat.. get 1 square out and suck it and suck it and suck it .. it takes longer to eat as its frozen and ur desire for chocolate is fulfilled

Keep ur chin up hun, I know its hard and in this warm weather its even harder, but u can do it!

 

[bunny_hops]

Oh and if you want chocolate have some. But only a little bit and say to yourself that it's a treat not a feeling sorry for myself chocolate . That way you'll be able to stop at the one bar and carry on as normal the day after

I don't want chocolate hun, it doesn't bother me at all, I'm so strict with myself that's the way I have to be otherswise I'd loose it altogether..

I just felt like packing it in earlier and going to pig, just feel happy for a bit... I'm ok now

 

[Alex_1978]

Aww you can do this! 6lbs a month is great really - nearly half a stone a month really adds up - just think how much different you'll feel a few months from now if you carry on at that pace.
I know weight loss can feel like a sprint (after all, who doesn't want to be slim TOMORROW) but really it is a marathon. The time we spend dieting (or not!) will pass anyway, whether we want it to or not, and whether we're dieting or not (just think how quickly holidays end, or how quickly Christmas comes around). We can either choose to do something with that time, or we can put off doing it, but if we choose not to do anything, Christmas will come around again and we'll be thinking 'what if I'd started eating healthily back in February/March/whatever...I'd be so much lighter that I am now'
What you're doing is making those changes NOW and if you carry on like this, Christmas will soon be here, and so will next year's summer holidays, and because you've spent that time making changes in your life now, you'll be full of confidence and hopefully pride, not regret.

I had a real mardy moment in the supermarket earlier because The Man was choosing a mammoth pizza for himself, and I knew I couldn't have any. Sometimes this dieting malarkey just feels so damn HARD! I don't want to keep saying no, to keep counting points, to keep doing exersise that I hate....but deep down, I know that I don't have a choice.
Well, I do have a choice, I could give up today, but deep down I know that I'd be 21 stone again within a year, and cursing myself that I'd undone all my hard work. So the only choice is to do the best I can, as often as I can, and try not to press that self-destruct button, even though my finger hovers on it most of the time!

I guess the only advice I could give is to be kind to yourself - don't deprive yourself too much while you're feeling like this, or you might just snap and binge.
But if you do, just draw a line under it and move on. Maybe go to the supermarket and buy some new Xenical friendly meals to get your tastebuds excited again - sometimes dieting feels so mundane and restrictive, but it can be great to change things about a bit, and I find it sometimes boosts my weightloss too.

Anyway, I'll stop rambling now! Hope you're feeling better soon - you really are doing great!
xx

 

[bunny_hops]

Well today has been a real emotional day, I've just felt so low and lost today..

B) chocolate shake
L) mug shot, crisp breads with beetroot and cheese spread
D) rice, broccoli, cauliflower,fine beans
S) actimel cherry yoghurt

I thought what the hell earlier, and I had 2 smarties ice creams out the freezer, didn't really want them, didn't enjoy them, they didn't make me happy, I don't know why I ate them, but I did!

I've also finished off the ww chocolate puddings out the freezer, thought I may as well eat them too lol!

I've had a good think about things today, and I'm not giving up.. I just have to try harder. So tomorrow I'm having a mix up with the diet, I'm going to start The Biggest Loser tfr with the Xenical and see how I go with that until my next doctors check in 3 weeks time.. Hopefully a switch will kick start me again, and get rid of these pounds, if I get on ok with it, I'm going to switch to cd for a bit..

So here's to looking forward to lots of losses, and getting back on track!

 

[Rachgleeson]

oh hun, dont be down, you have done amazingly well so far, last month i only lost 2lb. Although i am annoyed, i think its better than having a gain over the whole month. We all have times when we sit there and think about the food we could have if we werent dieting, but put it this way you can have it but just have to be sensible with it, you dont see slim people going with out chocolate or take aways, but they have it once and thats it, then they go back to eating sensible. So chin up hun, were all here in the same boat and we know how you feel., i felt exactly the same last week, seriously i was binging terrible. Dont forget if you need a chat i am here!!

 

[bunny_hops]

Aww you can do this! 6lbs a month is great really - nearly half a stone a month really adds up - just think how much different you'll feel a few months from now if you carry on at that pace.
I know weight loss can feel like a sprint (after all, who doesn't want to be slim TOMORROW) but really it is a marathon. The time we spend dieting (or not!) will pass anyway, whether we want it to or not, and whether we're dieting or not (just think how quickly holidays end, or how quickly Christmas comes around). We can either choose to do something with that time, or we can put off doing it, but if we choose not to do anything, Christmas will come around again and we'll be thinking 'what if I'd started eating healthily back in February/March/whatever...I'd be so much lighter that I am now'
What you're doing is making those changes NOW and if you carry on like this, Christmas will soon be here, and so will next year's summer holidays, and because you've spent that time making changes in your life now, you'll be full of confidence and hopefully pride, not regret.

I had a real mardy moment in the supermarket earlier because The Man was choosing a mammoth pizza for himself, and I knew I couldn't have any. Sometimes this dieting malarkey just feels so damn HARD! I don't want to keep saying no, to keep counting points, to keep doing exersise that I hate....but deep down, I know that I don't have a choice.
Well, I do have a choice, I could give up today, but deep down I know that I'd be 21 stone again within a year, and cursing myself that I'd undone all my hard work. So the only choice is to do the best I can, as often as I can, and try not to press that self-destruct button, even though my finger hovers on it most of the time!

I guess the only advice I could give is to be kind to yourself - don't deprive yourself too much while you're feeling like this, or you might just snap and binge.
But if you do, just draw a line under it and move on. Maybe go to the supermarket and buy some new Xenical friendly meals to get your tastebuds excited again - sometimes dieting feels so mundane and restrictive, but it can be great to change things about a bit, and I find it sometimes boosts my weightloss too.

Anyway, I'll stop rambling now! Hope you're feeling better soon - you really are doing great!
xx

Thanks so much hun! Everything you'v said makes total sense. I never expected miracles, I don't but it almost seems like whatever I do the last few months, just hasn't been good enough...I guess I just felt like a failure, I wasn't looking at the bigger picture..

I know I don't want to be like this and like you said, it's something that we have to do

I've took some time today and had a good think, I just need that boost again, so I'm going to give The Biggest Loser products a go along with the Xenical, you can still eat food so I'll try it, hopefully it should help me loose a few extra pounds this month and give me the boost I need.

Thanks for popping over hun, I hope everything is going well for you hun. xx

 

[Gemma79]

Oh Hun, hate to see you had a hard day, you have been such a motivation to me here. I think the problem is that with those of us who have done vlcd's we are used to big loses every week and come to expect it. I will have done my first 4 weeks tomorrow on xen and am looking at 6-8 lb loss, but I'm happy with that, for now as I feel I am educating myself on this journey and it will be sustainable on the long run. I'll never rule out doing cd/ll again as it was the only diet that actually saw
Me reach my goal. Good luck with tbl products, hope it gives you the kick you are looking for xx