Spanglymum
Gold Member
Can't sleep. Been up for hours, since youngest woke up earlier. Fed up. Not sure what's the matter with me. Just generally dissatisfied with life at the moment. Need to pull myself together!
This is me! (Management diary)
- Thread starter Spanglymum
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Spanglymum
Gold Member
My LLC suggested to me last week that when I'm feeling down I find something to be grateful for in the past hour, which is a fab suggestion!
I haven't heard from her about the group time, which is strange. I emailed her about it a while ago but never got a response. I'm assuming the rest of the group didn't want to move the time, which is fair enough I suppose! And in the meantime I've moved on to other brands of packs so I suppose that disqualifies me from groups anyway...
I haven't heard from her about the group time, which is strange. I emailed her about it a while ago but never got a response. I'm assuming the rest of the group didn't want to move the time, which is fair enough I suppose! And in the meantime I've moved on to other brands of packs so I suppose that disqualifies me from groups anyway...
nzmegs
Silver Member
You just do what works for you spangly. Missing the counselling would be a shame though - but you have been through it all before so...
Regards thinking about your sister recently. I get like this about my Mum sometimes too. I feel guilt for not being there (in NZ) although I did visit two weeks before. I know that my Mum's last words were about how pleased she was to have seen me. This felt really good. She would have hated me seeing her in hospital anyway. But I have taken up knitting and crochet since she died as they were her fav hobbies. every time i pick up my needles she is in my head - but in a great way. Is there anything you could do on a regular basis to feel closer to your sister. A place to visit or a book or movie you shared? I know this really helps me. I know she would be so proud of my efforts. I am even a crochet teacher now!!
Regards thinking about your sister recently. I get like this about my Mum sometimes too. I feel guilt for not being there (in NZ) although I did visit two weeks before. I know that my Mum's last words were about how pleased she was to have seen me. This felt really good. She would have hated me seeing her in hospital anyway. But I have taken up knitting and crochet since she died as they were her fav hobbies. every time i pick up my needles she is in my head - but in a great way. Is there anything you could do on a regular basis to feel closer to your sister. A place to visit or a book or movie you shared? I know this really helps me. I know she would be so proud of my efforts. I am even a crochet teacher now!!
Spanglymum
Gold Member
That's such a lovely idea, nzmegs. I will have a think about it. The only thing is I don't like thinking about her too much as I get sad and weepy. I've not shied away from telling my girls they had an Auntie they never met though, and sometimes it's lovely that my eldest will ask me about her. (She really freaked me out when I was postnatal and stressed etc as when she was a tiny baby she was the spitting image of my sister!!)
Feeling a lot better today. I wonder if it just takes me longer than most to switch over properly into ketosis? I was having cravings last night (weird that was day 9) but didn't give in - and today I feel slimmer, which is cool. My trousers are nowhere near as tight as last week. I don't dare try any of my slimmer cut ones on just yet in case it depresses me, but at least I can feel things moving in the right direction. The big spare tyre under my bust, which appears out of nowhere when I eat carbs, seems to be deflating too. (Nice!! Don't I sound attractive?! :-D)
So - onwards and downwards. Need to knuckle down and pull myself together re work. Haven't had anywhere near my usual energy for weeks now. I'm hoping I get some oomph as my body switches into fat burning mode!
Feeling a lot better today. I wonder if it just takes me longer than most to switch over properly into ketosis? I was having cravings last night (weird that was day 9) but didn't give in - and today I feel slimmer, which is cool. My trousers are nowhere near as tight as last week. I don't dare try any of my slimmer cut ones on just yet in case it depresses me, but at least I can feel things moving in the right direction. The big spare tyre under my bust, which appears out of nowhere when I eat carbs, seems to be deflating too. (Nice!! Don't I sound attractive?! :-D)
So - onwards and downwards. Need to knuckle down and pull myself together re work. Haven't had anywhere near my usual energy for weeks now. I'm hoping I get some oomph as my body switches into fat burning mode!
nzmegs
Silver Member
It bet it is those extra carbs which crept into your diet which have affected your energy levels. if you want some extra motivation take a look at the latest Peter Attia post. (it is about anabolic steriods - so not that interesting) he has a bit at the beginning with a link to a 60 Minutes piece on sugar. it is really interesting. I have emailed it to all those people I think should see it. it really made me think twice about reintroducing sugar and carbs back into my diet. Even when those stages of management come up, I think I will skip them. The thing is that i have worked so hard to get control over my sugar addiction - I really do not want to take a step backwards and have to do it all over again. Better to just pretend that sugar is not a part of my diet at all ever. A big statement to make, but if I did it for meat, I can do it for sugar.
Glad to hear you are feeling a bit better today. I know all about that spare tire - I had one (or was it two?) of those as well. Now I have no bust to speak of and no spare tire. I don't know which is worse!!
Glad to hear you are feeling a bit better today. I know all about that spare tire - I had one (or was it two?) of those as well. Now I have no bust to speak of and no spare tire. I don't know which is worse!!
Spanglymum
Gold Member
Yes, I think you're almost certainly right re the carbs and energy levels. I will need to be very careful when I come off plan again and start reintroducing food, to keep a very close eye on my carb counts for the day. To be honest I also think I need to watch calories as well. I loved Gary Taubes' philosophy that calories don't count but I think they do, a bit!
Ah well, it's all a learning curve, isn't it?
I can't watch that clip right now as it's not working on my iPad and I need to get back to work! But will look at it over the (long) weekend.
Ah well, it's all a learning curve, isn't it?
I can't watch that clip right now as it's not working on my iPad and I need to get back to work! But will look at it over the (long) weekend.
nzmegs
Silver Member
I totally agree that calories do count - but isn't so much easier to keep your cals low when you are in ketosis or at least low carb? I think I will be keeping my carbs to less than 70g per day. I tend ot stall at that level (when I eat LL bars on top of the usual packs). the next step is to increase fat consumption and increase cals to see what my level for that will be as well. it is all scientific, but with calorie and nutrition counters it should be easy to find a middle ground. Let me know what you think of the video
Spanglymum
Gold Member
I will definitely be doing low carb and watching calories - when I get there. I hope it won't take too long. I've managed to get one of my pairs of jeans on today that was far too tight before! Hurrah!! Got some serious muffin toppage going on... but really optimistic that things are going in the right direction thank goodness.
Just made lunch for hubby and the girls, which was ok - mildly trying, but not too bad. I'm on Exante packs this week, which I do find a bit more difficult as you only have three things a day. Wondering about splitting a pack, which people sometimes talk about on here, but I'm not sure I would get the quantities right... hmm.
Off for a pop-in tomorrow morning. My group is staying at the old time so I won't be able to go on Saturdays anymore as my hubby found it too disruptive to our family time (which is a fair point). There's another group starting on a Tuesday evening in a couple of weeks' time but I don't know if I've automatically disqualified myself from any further LL support, by using other brands of packs. Bit worried about that actually - and going against my LLC's advice, although I am still sure I've done the right thing for me. There are two LLCs at my branch, and the one I'm seeing for the pop in tomorrow has told me that she uses abstinence herself from time to time to help her maintain, so I hope she won't be too negative about my choice.
Anyway, the main thing as far as I'm concerned is that I feel so much more positive than a couple of weeks ago. DH and I have been having some big heart to hearts as well, about lots of things that you'd think were unrelated to food/weight but in fact are some of the fundamental reasons I overeat/medicate with food and alcohol. Some difficult/challenging conversations, but all good - really good in fact.
Just made lunch for hubby and the girls, which was ok - mildly trying, but not too bad. I'm on Exante packs this week, which I do find a bit more difficult as you only have three things a day. Wondering about splitting a pack, which people sometimes talk about on here, but I'm not sure I would get the quantities right... hmm.
Off for a pop-in tomorrow morning. My group is staying at the old time so I won't be able to go on Saturdays anymore as my hubby found it too disruptive to our family time (which is a fair point). There's another group starting on a Tuesday evening in a couple of weeks' time but I don't know if I've automatically disqualified myself from any further LL support, by using other brands of packs. Bit worried about that actually - and going against my LLC's advice, although I am still sure I've done the right thing for me. There are two LLCs at my branch, and the one I'm seeing for the pop in tomorrow has told me that she uses abstinence herself from time to time to help her maintain, so I hope she won't be too negative about my choice.
Anyway, the main thing as far as I'm concerned is that I feel so much more positive than a couple of weeks ago. DH and I have been having some big heart to hearts as well, about lots of things that you'd think were unrelated to food/weight but in fact are some of the fundamental reasons I overeat/medicate with food and alcohol. Some difficult/challenging conversations, but all good - really good in fact.
Spanglymum
Gold Member
Just been up my new allotment for a couple of hours this afternoon. Brilliant! Love it! I'm aching all over but it was so good. Just clearing rubbish and weeds at the moment, but I have plans. I was dizzy a couple of times though and when I put my exercise into MFP it said I'd earned 569 calories!!! so although I'm doing Exante this week, I had a slim and save bar as an extra fourth pack. Hope it won't make too much of a difference. I just thought it was sensible, given how active I've been today. Bet I'll feel it tomorrow!
Spanglymum
Gold Member
Annoyed with myself for bending the rules yesterday. One bar led to three!! (that was all I had: the ones from the sample pack) I dread to think how many I'd have eaten if I'd had more in. Anyway. That then triggered major cravings for wine and nuts and biscuits - but I'm pleased (very pleased) to say I didn't succumb!
MFP says I was still within my calorie goal, so hopefully not too much damage done. And lesson re the bars I think. Prob best not to order them!
MFP says I was still within my calorie goal, so hopefully not too much damage done. And lesson re the bars I think. Prob best not to order them!
rosieposie
Full Member
Oh Spangly, those pesky bars. I had trouble with them last time as I just often couldn't keep to just one a day
Could you explain to me about MFP and your calorie allowance. I changed mine down as it kept showing i wasn't having enough calories but it still looks like rubbish every time I put in any exercise I do. Is there a way round this?
Hope you've forgiven yourself for bars and not out of ketosis.
Could you explain to me about MFP and your calorie allowance. I changed mine down as it kept showing i wasn't having enough calories but it still looks like rubbish every time I put in any exercise I do. Is there a way round this?
Hope you've forgiven yourself for bars and not out of ketosis.
Spanglymum
Gold Member
Think I must be out of ketosis as having major major cravings today. Aaargh! When you say your calorie allowance looks rubbish, do you mean you have too few or too many left after exercise? With mine, it looked like I'd not had anywhere near enough calories yesterday because of the gardening, despite the bars. Really cross with myself because I am so tempted to have some wine :-(
rosieposie
Full Member
I meant too few cals.
Sorry that you're having the cravings. Hopefully it won't take too long to get back into Ketosis.
Try to keep your tremendous weight loss at the front of your mind and that liquid stuff somewhere farther back. Just try to remember how much more disappointed with yourself you'll be if you give in to the crooked thinking. If you can hold off having it eventually the craving will pass won't it. You are doing so well. Can you spoil yourself in any other way? Any distractions that might work?
Hope you can think of something to work and make it easier.
Sorry that you're having the cravings. Hopefully it won't take too long to get back into Ketosis.
Try to keep your tremendous weight loss at the front of your mind and that liquid stuff somewhere farther back. Just try to remember how much more disappointed with yourself you'll be if you give in to the crooked thinking. If you can hold off having it eventually the craving will pass won't it. You are doing so well. Can you spoil yourself in any other way? Any distractions that might work?
Hope you can think of something to work and make it easier.
Spanglymum
Gold Member
Thanks, Rosie. I was really struggling. I'm now proud of myself though, because I've had a bath and am now in bed and haven't given in to temptation. I just know I would have felt dreadful tomorrow and it's not worth it. I want to get this weight OFF, not make it worse! Typical 'all or nothing' thinking though: I had the bars, therefore I've blown it, etc etc.
Just thought: what if having the bars was my way of preparing to 'allow' myself a binge?!
Ooh there might be something in that, you know.
Just thought: what if having the bars was my way of preparing to 'allow' myself a binge?!
Ooh there might be something in that, you know.
rosieposie
Full Member
WELL DONE you
Spanglymum
Gold Member
I feel so happy that I didn't cave last night. Phew. I'm sure there will be other trying times, but it's good to know I do still have the same willpower I had when I originally did LLT. I thought that because of a few times I'd gone 'off road' that I'd completely lost my self-control. How's that for all-or-nothing thinking?! Anyway - it's a relief to know I'm not going to sabotage myself.
I keep thinking about my white jeans, that are up in the attic from last summer, and the anticipation of being able to wear them again this year. Oh, and my shorts (!), which I only got at the end of last summer and hardly had a chance to wear. I will do this!! Not going to get the bag of summer things down yet though... Don't want to try them on and find them too tight.
I keep thinking about my white jeans, that are up in the attic from last summer, and the anticipation of being able to wear them again this year. Oh, and my shorts (!), which I only got at the end of last summer and hardly had a chance to wear. I will do this!! Not going to get the bag of summer things down yet though... Don't want to try them on and find them too tight.
rosieposie
Full Member
Great thinking Spangly. Keep being proud of yourself and your coping mechanisms.
Spanglymum
Gold Member
This eve has been really difficult so I'm in bed mega early again. All day has been difficult: preparing family meals whilst avoiding the mountains of Easter treats. We just bought the girls one egg each but then there were eggs at church and the neighbours brought some and my mum brought Easter bunnies and and and
Thing is that although I like chocolate it's not what I crave normally. I usually go for crunchy (eg biscuits) and/or salty/spicy - so nuts or sesame sticks or the like.
Ah well. I had a minor cave: one small piece of Easter egg, a teaspoon of peanut butter and a small handful of grated cheese (from the family tea I was preparing). Why why why?!!!!
It's like that thing where they ask you NOT to think of a white elephant. So what do you end up thinking about?!
Thing is that although I like chocolate it's not what I crave normally. I usually go for crunchy (eg biscuits) and/or salty/spicy - so nuts or sesame sticks or the like.
Ah well. I had a minor cave: one small piece of Easter egg, a teaspoon of peanut butter and a small handful of grated cheese (from the family tea I was preparing). Why why why?!!!!
It's like that thing where they ask you NOT to think of a white elephant. So what do you end up thinking about?!
rosieposie
Full Member
Sorry Spangly it's been so difficult today but you have exercised control as you could have gone mad and eaten so much more.
Time to try and draw a line under this weekend and get back on track tomorrow
Strange how our minds do such strange things where food is concerned
Can you identify your thinking when you eat those things and then perhaps you can learn from this.
We are learning and it will take more practice to improve
Good luck for tomorrow
Time to try and draw a line under this weekend and get back on track tomorrow
Strange how our minds do such strange things where food is concerned
Can you identify your thinking when you eat those things and then perhaps you can learn from this.
We are learning and it will take more practice to improve
Good luck for tomorrow
