This is me! (Management diary)

[Spanglymum]

Having a pop-in this evening as we're taking the girls to a children's theatre tomorrow morning so I will miss group. I weighed myself this morning, and wish I hadn't because it would have been a nice surprise! Looks like all going in the right direction anyway, which is the main thing. I'm reading loads at the moment too (when I get a chance) to really try to understand my triggers and what's going on for me with food. I can recommend "Overcoming Overeating" by Hirschman and Munter. They talk a LOT of sense.

Busy afternoon, then I'm hoping to leave PROMPTLY to miss the worst of the traffic (famous last words) and start my well-earned weekend! I'm working from home on Monday as I have a follow up with the consultant about my joint pains mid-morning, which makes the commute slightly impossible. It will be lovely not to have to dash about quite so much for a few days!

 

[nzmegs]

I love that book too. It tells it like it is and gives some really good advice about what steps you can take to get the weight off.

I also like "the end of overeating". it is more about the food industry - but fascinating.

Have a great weekend!

 

[Spanglymum]

6lb off this week! Woohoo!! This is so encouraging.

I had a pop in last night and a great chat with one of the LLCs about how this isn't the weight as such, it's the emotions, the misuse of food for 'comfort' etc. I am relieved to be able to shed this weight before it depresses me and I really don't need to be back round this loop again. I know already why I do what I do! Really positive that something has clicked for me about self care...

 

[Spanglymum]

Having to keep myself busy today. Preparing family meals sometimes threatens to tip me over the edge! Doing my best to distract myself by planning low-carb meals and breakfasts (nomnomnom) for when I'm back in the land of food. I've realised that I am super-sensitive to sugars. eg, I found I'd get mid-morning cravings if I had homemade "sugar free" muesli - because of the raisins. Yep. So I'm going to try high protein breakfasts for a while - eggs and vegetables mainly, and see how I get on. It's been fun thinking of ideas to try .

 

[Spanglymum]

Nzmegs, thanks so much for recommending that book. I've been reading it on kindle this morning and it's like 'where have you been all my life?' Fabulous book. Clear. Well-written and well-researched. Fascinating!

 

[Debbi8489]

I think I'll read those books. The Overcoming Overeating in particular sounds very interesting.

How are your low carb meals getting on Spangly? I've been reading some of my low carb recipe books and looking for some tofu recipes. I found a nice scrambled tofu recipe...like scrambled eggs, but for vegans I guess. I've been flicking through my Good Food mag too.

 

[Debbi8489]

My kindle is either the best or worst thing I have...its soooo easy to shop for it! I have bought both books and am reading The End of Overeating first.

Spangly, its funny what I think about. I was in my kitchen making my coffee and I thought of you! Have you tried quinoa for breakfast? I like it, especially made with various spices like cinnamon, star anise etc. You probably know that quinoa is high protein, so it might be good for you?

 

[Spanglymum]

Ooh I like the sound of that! It would never have occurred to me to do quinoa in the morning. How do you cook it? In a pan on the hob?

 

[Debbi8489]

Yep, just like porridge. Well, the way I make porridge lol. So on the hob with some water and I think star anise and cinnamon. Then a touch of milk once its cooked. I dont like cold milk in my porridge. I'll see if I can find the recipe. You need to put something in it otherwise its just too bland.

 

[eatlikeabird]

That sounds good, I was wondering what I could have thats protein instead of my morning porridge when back to food.

 

[Spanglymum]

Well, yesterday was a bit of a revelation. Been doing fine, and then BAM! Massive urge to binge!

I only had a mini binge but it troubled me. I've worked out why today though, and it makes sense to me. I went to see the consultant yesterday and it makes me really angry and uncomfortable that they insist on weighing you before your appointment. In a corridor, ie in public! I'm angry just thinking about it now. My joint pains have nothing whatsoever to do with my weight. I know this is standard practice from other clinics that I and my husband have attended but it's ridiculous, undignified, and I don't like it. At all.

Am getting so cross writing this! So I'm going to write to them today and say that I would prefer not to be weighed. If there is a clinical need then I am happy for the consultant to weigh me in the consulting room.

I also find it difficult going to that clinic because it's at the hospital where I had the dreadful birth of my first daughter. So I get flashbacks.

So... Not worried about the binge now that I can understand why, and find a more constructive way of dealing with the emotions.

 

[nzmegs]

Well done for stopping and thinking about why this happened. It isn't unusual for certain circumstance to bring about a binge (mini or otherwise). Your next step is to consider how you might deal with this issue in the future.
Perhaps put your anger into changing something about your visit to the doctor. maybe write to them and ask that the weigh-in area be moved somewhere private as you found it embarrassing and uncomfortable to be weighed in front of other people. You might effect a change which will help not only yourself but other people as well.
By channelling your anger into action you might avoid a binge and actually find something positive from a bad experience.

 

[Spanglymum]

Just wanted to say that I'm really happy/contented today. I would previously have felt awful about going off-plan, given myself a REALLY hard time about it, which would have then led to more acting out etc etc etc. This time, it makes sense! I totally get why I did what I did (and why it wasn't actually very useful!). It feels like a turning point somehow. I'm sure there will be similar experiences in the future, but it's such a relief to feel kind-of balanced and just basically "ok" with the world. It's ok. I was annoyed. I worked out WHY I was annoyed. I've acknowledged it. I'm going to do something constructive with it. End of need to act out!

 

[Debbi8489]

Spangly, I am horrified! I have NEVER heard of anyone being weighed in a corridor. FFS!!! What are you? Cattle or patients? Definately agree that you should write and express your outrage.

Update on the quinoa, which I have had for the past two mornings. It takes longer than porridge. I dont know if its just me, but it seems to take about 20 minutes. The first morning I put some ground cloves, star anise, sweetner and I think some all spice along with 50g of quinoa, water and 50mls of skim milk. It was far too much! So I had 35g of quinoa, water, 50mls of skim milk and sweetner this morning. Much better Going to make up my quinoa for tomorrow morning. I just dont have time in the morning!

 

[Spanglymum]

Letter written! Not posted yet, but will do so at the weekend.

Well, it's now official. I am a medical marvel (or something similar). I had my vaccinations yesterday for my India trip, and they gave me a wine gum to chew while they were doing it (apparently a distraction technique). I thought "oh no, sugar!" but took it anyway (doh!) and woke up this morning feeling a bit bloated. Psychosomatic, don't you think?

Well, er... no!

Bear in mind this was ONE wine gum.

How much weight have I gained - literally - overnight?!

TWO KILOS!!!

OMG! OMG! OMG!

I think I must actually be a bag of silica gel and given the slightest provocation my body HOARDS water! Mind-blowing!

Well I'm sure it explains something. I'm not exactly sure what (it's a bit early!) but definitely something going on there over and above "calories in = calories out" etc.

(Actually, just reading this back, I think it's probably delayed gain from my mini-carb-binge the other day, but that's not quite as amusing!! )

 

[nzmegs]

Ha Ha! I agree it could be retained water from your mini binge. Not to worry it will come off in a day or two.

Perhaps that is another letter you could write...."please could you refrain from giving out sweeties when giving vaccinations - as now I am fatter than before I went in. I am sure your medical practice is to blame. Please be assured I will be suing you for the heartache and consternation caused...!"

 

[Debbi8489]

How was class today Spangly? Looks like you had a good loss? You weigh exactly the same as me...and you are 2 inches taller

 

[Spanglymum]

Really fed up the past couple of days. It started with tiredness because of overdoing things (!) at the weekend - but then yesterday I was completely demotivated at work. I just feel overwhelmed and exhausted. I think I'm fighting off a bug at the moment: both my girls have nasty colds at the moment, so I'm probably just worn out. So what did I do last night? Had some carbs! DOH!!!

I know it was purely for the "high" and the "comfort" - both of which worked for a time to be honest. I actually enjoyed them at the time. But I don't enjoy knowing I will have gained, and that I'm just sabotaging my efforts to get back to goal. Madness!

 

[nzmegs]

Just hang in there....you are so close. Have you been to meetings lately? Your counsellor might be able to give you a little kickstart.

Just one week of LL total will get you back to goal. Do you have enough packs to do that?

All you have to do is knuckle down for 7 days - just 7 days...it is such a short amount of time and you will feel so good by the end.

Try to clear your week of distractions, focus on nothing but you and really decide to go for it. You can do it!

 

[Spanglymum]

I couldn't go to group the past two weekends but am planning to go this coming Saturday. I know you're right - although as I haven't stepped on the scales today I fear I may actually have gained, so be farther away from my goal than before.

Also my hubby doesn't want me on Total as he prefers me to have dinner with him . He took a LOT of persuading for me to do even three weeks of Total. He's only now happy for me to continue if I do Lite.

I know it's not up to him it's my body etc etc etc but he really grumbles about it. Thing is, I'm nowhere near as focused on Lite. I find food a real temptation/worry. Aaargh .

I tried to challenge him re me "having" to eat dinner with him but he just couldn't see my point of view. I tried to explain what I'd been reading in one of my books, about not eating when you're not hungry (amazing and excellent concept!) and he really didn't like the idea that this might actually mean I didn't always have dinner with him every day. ie if I wasn't hungry he would be eating on his own. He couldn't see that this is HIS problem, not mine. Just thought I "should" be hungry at dinnertime.

Thing is I've spent YEARS mirroring his eating habits, and it just doesn't work for my body!