Right, hi! Been a rollercoaster of a week/month/longer who knows! Work is crazy stress, as is my personal life. Rana flew home to India yesterday, very sad day with lots of tears! Thankfully I booked my tickets last week to go visit him late september so have that to look forward to (sorry, not sure if I am repeating myself here).
So that's 40 days until I go. 40 days to get back on track.
I've deleted my signature as I don't want to think about how far I've come anymore, it's not helping, I've spent too many weeks gaining and maintaining - effectively being no better off than my post holiday weight, and the "but i've come so far" is almost becoming an excuse, and now it's getting worrying - I don't want to see 11st on the scales but i'm edging closer and closer.
I weighed this morning, I am 10st 12.8lbs - I am overweight again.
On my on-off diet lately I have discovered there are certain foods I can't handle very well anymore - sugary foods give me major crashes, and i have experienced really bad stomach pain from white bread. I didn't feel so great from some brown rice the other day either. Last night I had a toasted sandwich about 7.30, went to bed with stomach ache and still have it now, that stuff is not good for me.
I'll be honest, I don't know what to do, what I really need is to be able to SS, keep it really simple but I'm not sure if that would be enough for me - I think I'll try 4 packs and listen to my body, I can add in dairy if I really need to, but would rather not. I know I can't hide from food forever, but in the last couple of months I've developed some really bad habits which I just need to get away from. And I know SS isn't recommended for my weight, but I won't be burning muscle believe me - Theres at least a stone worth of fat on my belly right now to keep me going!
I'm not brimming with enthusiasm about it, but at the same time I'm feeling crap, my body confidence is at an all time low, I've gone back to baggy tops and scarves to hide the bulges, I am once again avoiding mirrors and cameras, this has to stop and something has to be done. When I meet Rana's parents I want to feel confident and happy and I don't have long to make that happen.
I don't think I can reach target in that time - I'd need a very good SS-style loss to shift 19lbs, 12lbs might be pushing it but still that will be my aim, since that will take me back to 10st where I was feeling pretty good.
So, not the happiest, not the most enthusiastic, but a line has to be drawn and i have to give this a go.....
Loving the idea of putting shakes in a Costa cup, I'll have to get my daughter or my other half a naughty one next time I'm there and keep the cup. Great tip!
