To find the real me

[Sezzy1407]

Thanks guys

Well i have had to leave Poppy at vets as she needs to be sedated and have her dew claw removed so need to go and pick her up later. She is going to be bandaged and sore and needs to go on antibiotics so think she will be feeling very sorry for herself. I have asked my manager if i can wfh tomorrow so i can keep an eye on her as Poppy really doesnt like having her paws bandaged up and i think she will be a little rescal at trying to chew it off. Thankfully i have pet insurance as the 'estimated' bill was £188
:faint2:

 

[Kira]

AWh! Sezzzy, just caught up on your diary. I have been there done that too and of course started really well after a millonth re-start on vlcd and then over Easter lost the plot. I have had two binge free days but still not stuch to vlcd. TodayI am hoping to complete a full vlcd day. I have switched from Cambridge to Slim & Save althogh I am keeping my diary in the Cambridge section. You've done amazingly well especialy with the adverse comments and negativity from others and I completely understand how one can turn to food to comfort. I know I am going to find today difficult but I am going to try my hardest. You've done one of the most difficult bits and that's getting past the 10 day mark. Well done! x

 

[Sezzy1407]

Thanks Kira and well done you for getting back on the wagon and as you know the first few days will be the hardest but stick it out and you wont regret it. I have a holiday at the beginning of June..a week away in a cottage down in Cornwall with my bf and parents. I have been thinking long and hard whether to come off the diet for that week or carry on and tbh i think i am going to stick to it 100% as i know how difficult it is to try and get back on the diet after a break. I also think that i will continue to lose weight whereas if i eat, i will gain and this will set me back even further as i will have that gained weight to lose again. It will just be nice feeling lighter and slimmer for when i go away rather then panicking about what to pack as i look fat in everything and not being able to wear shorts etc and feeling bloated so i think thats enough reason to keep me on track. xx

 

[Kira]

I meant to add hope Poppy's paw will mend quickly!

To be honest having struggled so much to get back on the waggon, right now I would say stick to plan so that you can reach goal sooner but I know it is easier said that done. I know the socialsing aspect can make one feel has if you're missing out but with the SnS at least you can have a protein meal in the evening? I just would *feel* for you it you found it giving you a set back like I've had to trying to get back into it and it taken weeks of on off days. Obvioulsy, only you can make that decision but from where I am sitting I would love to be where you are right now having got through those first days of sheer hell and some more! Ok vlcd does have great days but as we know it can be up and down and we walk a tightrope. Well I've managed to get to 2.30 today and I am aiming to have my third pack at 6pm. Off for a walk now to distract myself! Better out of the house away from temptation.

 

[Sezzy1407]

Well i have my little pooch home and she is still very sedated and so very tired as you can see from the 2nd pic. The vet has bandaged her paw up in a bright green dressing which you can see in the 1st pic. I am going to be working from home tomorrow too so i can giver her lots of cuddles and attention. She is so dopey right now...bless her! Well i have just made myself a spag bol and added a bit of spices and blimey my lips are tingling but very scrummy. Its great working from home as i am sat here in my jimmy jams after having had a shower and can nip on Minimins every so often and its lovely. Anyway Kira hope the walk helped distract you and once you get past today you can give yourself a pat on the back that day 1 100% has been accomplished, You might find it easier to have an early night too as i know if it gets tough for me i begrudgingly trudge up the stairs and dive under the duvet. I also find swigging mouthwash when i get 'cravings' helps too so you could try this (especially good once death breath sets in) lol xx

 

[stef2009]

Awe bless! Hope she's feelin better soon and phew on the vet bill!!! Xx

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[biggusburdus]

Aww she's such a cute wee thing! Hugs and cuddles from here and hope she feels better soon. Glad you can work from home and keep her company!

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[Sezzy1407]

Afternoon everyone

Well another day of working from home and looking after Poppy. Last night was sooo funny as she kept sitting up in her bed and then just toppling over where she was so woozy. Managed to persuade my manager that i need another day working from home tomorrow too just to be on the safe side Got to take Poppy back to vets on Thursday as they need to check her paw and possibly re-dress it.

So i have had my first ever red berries/fruit shake made in my smoothie maker with crushed ice and it was yummy. It tasted just like a strawberry shake and will defo be ordering that one again. I weighed myself this morning and i have only lost 1lb since Saturday..now i know its only been 3 days since WI so i think i might be becoming a bit obsessed with the scales. I just dont want my weight loss to stall or slow right down. I am going to up my water intake too as i have only been drinking about 2l the last couple of days and need to aim for 2.5-3l ideally.

I am hoping to be in the 15s in 2 weeks time which will be nice..that means a loss of 6lbs in 2 weeks...Oooooo not sure if it will be possibloe as i am sure its my TOTM next weekend so bound to stc. I think i need to be careful with the protein meal i am having too as i am just cooking a chicken breast most nights marinated in different spices but i am not weighing the chicken breast out and some are larger then others and i know we are only allowed 100g so i may be going over...hope that hasnt affected anything??

Now one thing i have noticed with doing these VLCD's is that i struggle to have all the packs a day. I dont have them because i am hungry as due to ketosis my hunger has disappeared but i have them because i know i have to and i have got to get through them. Its not that i dont enjoy them as most of the ones i have tried i do like but some people have said how they cant wait for their next shake/soup/bar or they wish they could have more but i dont feel like that. It goes to show a lot of why i ate before was due to cravings rather then actual physical hunger. I dont crave these products which is why i am not fussed particulary with them, if only i could feel this way about pizzas, chocolate and most carbs lol

Well i hope everyone is having a good day, at least its stopped raining now xx

 

[stef2009]

Hey hun, glad poppy is on the mend
I struggle to fit the packs in too, especially my last one at night, so ive started having everything earlier, before i waited till 10 for my breakfast shake, now i have it at 9 and so on..
Stay away from the scales!!! Lol honestly you will feel much better if you do, sometimes loss's dont really show till the end of the week, no point getting stressed for nothing
Enjoy the rest of ur day xx

 

[Sezzy1407]

I have just been looking at some of the before and after pics on here and they are so motivational. I am tempted when i get to goal to post a before ands after pic as it will be intersting to see the change in my body. I am thinking i might treat myself to a massage for after i come back from my hols in June as a little treat for staying on sns 100% whilst being away..Hmmm its nice to think of goals and treats :thinking2:

 

[stef2009]

I deffo recommend getting them before pics, i never, gutted! Luckily had a holiday foto but other than that i wouldnt have my foto took neck down lol
And deffo set yourself goals and treats!!
My mini goal is I buy a new top 1 size down and then when i fit in it, buy the next size down to fit into, Once i reacvh my main goal me and the other half are going for a romantic weekend away abroad And then my ultimate goal is to keep the weight off for my wedding and fit in my dress (I went super brave and bought a dress size 12 to fit in and stay fitted in )
The massage sounds lovely, ive never had one! xx

 

[Kira]

Sezzy! You are doing brilliantly!! I need to take a leaf out of your book and simply get on with it! I'm struggling to get a full day under my belt but I have managed a couple of day or so without bingeing so that is good progress for me in one respect. Glad you managed to work from home again and Poppy is doing well.

 

[Sezzy1407]

Stef- Thats a great idea about getting a top the next size down to get into. I dont need to go and buy myself much as i have a wardrobe full of clothes that are too small for me which i will rediscover on my weigh down ( Like what i did there lol). I never really understood that advert for WW that said 'Discover a new wardrobe, your old wardrobe' until now. I have everything from a size 22 down to a few items in a 14...14!!! Bloody hell that was a while back..may not be in fashion now but i dont care i will feel proud to get into them lol. OMG your wedding...how exciting!!! When do you get married? You are going to look fab and a size 12 is a great size to be and what an incentive! I have been waiting 4 and a half years for my bf to propose but he wont be rushed. He is 7 years younger then me so i have to give him time..men! I do think it will happen one day as we are very compatable and happy together although we row like any other couple. I have a vision in my head of the kind of wedding dress i would like but thats at the size i am now..Blimey if i get married when i am a lot slimmer then i will be like a kid in a sweet shop when it comes to wedding dress shopping as i wont need to go for a dress that just hides my lumps and bumps...I will feel like a princess rather then princess fiona from Shrek :giggle:

Oh Kira- Sorry to hear you are struggling, I know how tough it can be as we all do. Is ther any particular point in the day where you give in? If there is maybe change your routine a little so if it gets to the evening and you are feeling hungry/craving something, get up and walk away from the kitchen, have a bath, go for a walk, phone a friend for a chat..anythung to keep you 100%. Its good you are not bingeing as that wont help your cravings/ketosis. I have my fingers crossed for you that you can do a week 100% to a point where it does get easier for you xx

 

[PrettyPaula]

Well now Sezzy....

its frightening how much of your diary ive just read that strikes a massive cord with me.

my husband is slim, never has to worry about his weight and i think he genuinely believes i will never do it as ive tried so many times before.

i work in telecomms too (be weird if its the same company wouldnt it!)

my cats called Poppy. LOL

hahaha

you are doing so well, and i think you should feel very proud. F*ck your brother and his @rsehole comments, id have torn him a new one. but thats just me! x

 

[stef2009]

Stef- Thats a great idea about getting a top the next size down to get into. I dont need to go and buy myself much as i have a wardrobe full of clothes that are too small for me which i will rediscover on my weigh down ( Like what i did there lol). I never really understood that advert for WW that said 'Discover a new wardrobe, your old wardrobe' until now. I have everything from a size 22 down to a few items in a 14...14!!! Bloody hell that was a while back..may not be in fashion now but i dont care i will feel proud to get into them lol. OMG your wedding...how exciting!!! When do you get married? You are going to look fab and a size 12 is a great size to be and what an incentive! I have been waiting 4 and a half years for my bf to propose but he wont be rushed. He is 7 years younger then me so i have to give him time..men! I do think it will happen one day as we are very compatable and happy together although we row like any other couple. I have a vision in my head of the kind of wedding dress i would like but thats at the size i am now..Blimey if i get married when i am a lot slimmer then i will be like a kid in a sweet shop when it comes to wedding dress shopping as i wont need to go for a dress that just hides my lumps and bumps...I will feel like a princess rather then princess fiona from Shrek :giggle:

Ohhh wish I has clothes that I can start fitting Into! I threw all mine out apart from the odd top!
Ohhh U may bring back a trend lol
I get married next yr in Portugal, I knew I wanted to be a size 10/12 saw the dress ive always imagined and thought sod it I'm gonna get it and fit into into!
Aww I'm sure it will happen soon, men are strange things lol we got together when I was 15 I got engaged when I was 18 and where gettig married on our 10th yr together next yr!!
Ahhh yes it would be very exciting!!! He may propose web u get to target u never know!! Xx

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[Sezzy1407]

Blimey Paula, there really are quite a few similarities between us. I don't feel angry that my bf or family might be waiting for the day I cave in or put weight back on, as I have so many times in the past. It does worry me slightly that there are sooo many people restarting these vlcds after putting the weight back on afterwards including myself. I was looking through some of the before and after pics and some people started off brilliantly and said they would post more pics in a month or so but there wasn't anything else posted from over a year ago and I can't help but wonder if they gave up. I admit I am more wary of coming off sns and refeeding again. I can't remember the last time I stayed the same weight as I have always gained for as long as I can remember. I have got to have strict rules in place and a plan to follow as I really don't want to put myself through this again.

Stef ...getting married in Portugal, wow that is going to be amazing. your dress must be perfect for you if it caught your eye so early on and is giving you this motivation to get into it. What is also great is that if it's a size 12 then it keeps you on track and a reason to be disciplined between finishing sns, refeeding and maintaining so you know you will be happy and feel so special on your wedding day. xx

 

[Sezzy1407]

Yuk... Just made hot hazelnut shake with spoonful of decaf coffee and even after stirring it with cold water into a paste first then adding hot water it was REALLY lumpy :-( hopefully I will get my mini whisk soon which will help as taste wise it was quite nice but couldn't stomach the lumps so tipped half of it away

 

[stef2009]

Thanks hun Thats what i hope the dress does, keep me in the size 12 lol
Ohhh i love hot caramel shake i put mine in the microwave yum yum xx

 

[Sezzy1407]

Well what a miserable wet windy day it is today. I am working from home again today, not because i neccessarily need to as Poppy seems to be ok now but it is just an excuse to stay in and chill a bit. I am back in the office tomorrow but to be honest i am not looking forward to it. The atmosphere isnt great and i found out yesterday that the team of people that sit next to me have been told that they have to move to our other office in London and there will be redundancies. They arent getting paid anymore money and the commute will add on extra hours to their day aswell as extra travel expenses. If they dont want to move up there then HR can try and find them another internal post (not that there is a lot) or they will have to take redundancy. I have a couple of friends in that team and they are really upset and anxious about it all. I am going to be very sad to see them go and will miss them a lot. I know that there are going to be redundancies within the office i work and no one knows if we are safe (although my manager seems to think we are but i dont trust her really). I have the attitude..what will be, will be but its not a nice feeling, just waiting to hear if you are at risk or not. On the upside my bf started a new job last November and they are so pleased and happy with him that he is being promoted next month whilst still in his probation period which is great. He absolutely LOVES his job, the people he works with and everything about it. I cant help feel really envious of him that he looks forward to going to work, comes home really happy as he has had a great day and then eats whatever he likes. I sound really bitter dont i?? lol. I am genuinely happy for him as he is one of the lucky ones i guess.

Well i think today i will be having all shakes as i seem to have a lot more of them then i do meals. I still have quite a few choc shakes left over from when i was doing Avidlite, so they should last me until i get paid next week and then i can place a new order with sns to try the new bars and get some more meals that i have enjoyed. I have a chicken soup to try yet but i lived on these on LL and i think i am sick to death of them now and not sure i can stomach them anymore but going to give it a try.

Hope everyone has a great day xx

 

[stef2009]

Hey Hun glad Poppy's better! Sorry to hear about the redundancys u can't seem to get away from them now, seems to be happening way too much!!
I know what u mean about ur bf my other half loves what he does and can eat whatever he wants with no consequences grrrr!!
You will be in ketosis soon wahoooo!!! Hope u have a lovely night xx

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