Step2 810kcal tomorrow is my first day

I am going to continue to write in this vein - I feel that it serves a bigger purpose; not least of which keeping me away from the fridge! I can have my voice in this forum through a kind of anonymity. I can say to myself what I need to and I think this may help. My thought processes about myself are disordered - I once heard an eating disorders expert talk about 'disordered thinking' when it came to food and body image. I guess the natural link is to body dysmorphia and I have a kind of personality image dysmorphia.

I once had myself tested for ASD tosee if i was on the spectrum. I don't say that lightly as ASD can be hugely debilitating and frightening but I found myself afraid of social interactions and just overwhelmed.

The upshot is that I am not ASD but i do have huge social anxiety issues and have a kind of anxiety disorder. I suspect that people pickup on that and it does make me vulnerable. I know that my job forces me to present like a jolly, larger than life character where I have the skin of a rhinocerous hide but underneath I do not. I do not socialise with the people I work with (they seem to be sleeping with each other and I am too old!), I live a fair distance away and have a child so I can easily remove myself from these social entanglements. I think that at the end of a long day I just find people exhausting. I am never really sure what is expected of me so I am always anxious and uncertain. Ultimately I would like to see my way through that.

Will losing weight solve this? I do not know. I won't have a weigh in today because my CDC is on a Cambridge jolly (lucky thing!!!) but I have stuck to my programme, didn't have quite enough water yesterday but overall good. I even refrained from tasting chocolate during the Chocolate Project. (Lent is a good thing - I gave up sugar for Lent, just before I started. When I see my CDC next week it will be week 4. I wonder if I will have lost a stone? If I keep at it I am sure I will be pretty close. I also joined the April Challenge to lose 12lbs so that is something to focus on.

I need to answer a few emails but here's to another day. :)
 
Today I learnt that my brother has cancer in his brain. I am in shock and feel overwhelmed. Happily I cannot eat but this really dos put things into perspective...
 
I am so sorry to hear your news. It does put things into perspective yes, so use it as a positive that life is fragile. Make the most of every day. My thoughts are with you. X
 
Than you Anne. I am feeling less emotional today about things and certainly more determined to succeed on this diet and drop the pounds. I really want to have a good weigh in on Friday as it will be two weeks! I cannot control what is happening elsewhere but I can control what I put in my mouth. I want to reach my first goal of being 17 stone 10 asap as that will be 10% of my body weight off and everyone says that losing 10% has huge health benefits. So 3 litres of water and packs. I am onto a winner.

And yes, using this little thread as my voice makes me feel better. I am finally being 'heard' even if it is only in the metaphorical sense. Have a great weight loss day.xx
 
Rage can sometimes be very therapeutic.
It's the apathy you've got to be wary of!!
Congratulations on the chicken and salad, I'm afraid I can't say the same for today! X
 
I have been thinking about what will motivate me and I remembered that I have 4 pairs of summer chino style trousers packed away that were snug, nay tight in July-sept last year. They are my motivation to lose the weight. I even have a black pair that I didn't even try to get into because the others were so tight and ugly. I was also told by some students of mine that I had 'lost weight'. Hmm. tomorrow is my weigh in after 2 weeks because my consultant has been away. I had hoped to reach 17 stone 10 after these 2 weeks but I am not sure if I will as I think I am due on so I feel puffy and bloated. I have had 3 litres of water daily and am doing well with that. Even though I am doing 810 I still feel guilty eating something in the evening. I have been able to eat out having chicken and superfood salad for example. This has been great as I feel 'normal'.

I am learning to accept that people are unkind and that my work colleagues say nasty things and that i should always watch my back. I am a bit stupid - I don't play games but i do work with Iago.

I really want to stay focussed and lose the weight. I would like to visualise myself at 11 stone. What does that look like or what will that look like?

Anne - have you had a difficult week? Are you on SS? I really want to keep myself motivated and lose the weight and wear those trousers.

Imagine loose trousers!!
 
I think it's a very good idea to set yourself a goal, whether it be an occasion, an outfit, or in my case just getting to the end of the day. Hopefully you'll soon be in those trousers, get them out and hang them up where you can see them, use them as a visual stimulate to spur you on.
Looking at the larger picture, I'm doing ok. I'm in a much better place than I was a month ago, the weight is moving in the right direction although not as drastically as I would wish after the euphoria of the first week. Maybe this is a good thing, if it was too easy to get off I would have no deterrent to putting it back on!
I have not had a good week, I'm doing ss+, not (supposed to be) having extra meals but I am having milk as I cannot function without copious amounts of tea. I had the mother of all binges on weds night, no idea why, didn't need, want nor actually really enjoy it. So now I'm miserable as the scales are saying shameful things while I wait to rid myself of the damage done by that one night.
Do not beat yourself up about your colleagues at work, I find the politics and game play that goes hand in hand with the work place mind numbing and try at every opportunity to remove myself from it.
I work with a bunch of women that cannot say a good word about each other yet an Indian meal has been arranged over Easter. I am not attending as to be honest, I don't even want to work with most of them let alone socialise with them!!!
Enough of my moaning, it's Friday, so here's to a successful day. X
 
Keep on the wagon!! We cannot be deterred by one night blip. You can do this! I would stay away from the Indian meal too - calories and temptation with people I don't feel comfortable with is very, very stressful. Everyday is a new day and you can only look downwards (at the scales!!) and onwards and upwards in life!!

I am trying really, really hard to distance myself from politics as it pays havoc with my mental health. I will wear those trousers with pride!!! Have a wonderful day Anne (and other readers). Let us not be defined by the scales!
 
On a more positive note. I tried on the dress I'm wearing to a wedding next weekend. It may not be in a size I want and I may not feel uber confident about my appearance, but it certainly looks a whole lot better than it did this time three weeks ago. Baby steps!! X
 
My weight loss appears to hve stalled but I amk in a pair of jeans that I could not have worn before. I have got terrible abdominal pain tho. I think it is related to being due on but it has been going on for over a week now. I have felt really demotivated this last week - minimal weight loss and feeling really bloated. I really want to have a good loss this week to get into those trousers and feel lighter. I am drinking 3-4 litres of water a day and feel good on that score despite being on the loo constantly. I am just plateauing. I would like to get my body down to a BMI which enables me to do sole source - psychologically that will make me feel better to remove food entirely from the equation.

I wonder if other 810 dieters have experienced plateaus like this? Is it normal to have looser clothes but the scales not moving? Any thoughts?
 
I have lost 8lbs in 4 weeks. Not great but not terrible either. I have lost 3 inches from my waist, hips and thighs each. this is a plus. just worried about the pmt!!!
 
I came onto today after 11 or 12 days of feeling pre-menstral and really awful. I have been reading up on vlcd and lc diets and the impact on your hormones and menstrual cycle. The news is largely positive and my symptoms are normal. It seems to settle down which is good. I can also see why they are excellent if you have pcos or fertility issues linked to weight gain. I am no expert and certainly wouldn't like to come across as one but I think it is a shame that more gp's don't use Cambridge or Lighter life more readily to treat weight and fertility issues. The link to conception and use of vlcd's is quite staggering.

I would like to learn more about the impact of cortisol and abdominal weight gain. I am sure that stress makes me hold onto fat. As a person I live on the edge of stress and anxiety at all times. I want to get off the treadmill.
 
I need to revisit this thread of mine. I weighed in on Wed (changed date so Wed now my weigh in day) and I have stalled. 2 weeks of no weight loss. Thursday and Friday have been terrible - I fell off the wagon. Thursday I had 3 bars of chocolate and tesco finest burgers. Today 2 squares of chocolate. I am feeling so low about the stalled weight loss and my lack of progress. I cannot express my disappointment in myself and my abject failure. I cannot seem to lose weight at all. The only positive thing is that I am a champion at this 3+ litres of water which is a plus.

I am frustrated with my body and I realise that I cannot cheat or veer off message without at least stalling the process yet I do ask why it is that others manage to do it and still have a loss of some kind. Damn damn and damn.

I need to start Saturday 19th April as day one again and focus on water, packs and my 810 meal. I must weigh it out and following the rules scrupulously. I also pledge to myself today that I will post on here to motivate myself and distract myself too.

I must do this. Everything is else is so ***** that I must at least get a hold of my weight. Wish me luck!!!
 
well, I did not start on the 19th as planned, or the 20th either but I have done lots of marking. Official restart 21st April. I will do it.
 
Hi. I've just been reading your thread.
I'm curious how do you manage drinking all the water and not needing the loo every 10 minutes while you're teaching?
I work with schools but not in a teaching capacity and am very self conscious that I always seem to be going to the toilet when nobody else does and that is without drinking loads of water.
I am planning a restart on the CWP tomorrow but am already stressing about water intake and toilet visits - rather than lack of food
X
 
I manage the water because the loo nis really near me! I drink the first litre on my commute (am desparate by the time I get there!!) and then pace myself through the day. if anyone asks I say I am trying to ward off a water infection but strangely enough the bladder does get used to it. Good luck
 
good luck;; you CAN!
 
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