TOUGH LOVE-APPLY WITHIN

[BonnieBooBear]

well done on the post, life is for living and healthy people and wannabe's like us do not put ourselves through the pain to stay indoors counting calories on sunny weekends

no-one can walk the line 100%, 100% of the time - you will go insane

it's how you manage the "BLIPS" and get your mindset right to carry on that really counts in the long run

if you were maintaining you would not have given the weekend a thought

you have hit the nail on the head TWICE

1) you thought about damage limitation and managed it somewhat through your spree - so well done
2) you are back on the jazz straight away - well done again

something has changed and you have soaked up enough Tough Love to know what that something is - you have acknowledged that the journey will have minor setbacks, but it must continue

well done for not beating yourself up or going bananas

onwards to target with a clean colon!!! cider's a winner huh?? lol

Thanks all for the reassurance. I was dreading coming back, I thought I was going to get a right rollocking! Should clairfy that my damage limitation wasn't that impressive, there was a lot of tempation so only succombing to 50% of it was still quite bad...

But a lush 6 mile run in the bank last night and I thinl I have made an amazing discovery. I thnk the key to weight loss isn't actually obsessing about calories and all that 100% of the time, trying to be perfect, then failing because nobody is perfect. I recon the key is to soldier on through the blips. I can 100% guarantee that before this thread, I would have had a Dominoes last night because we were a) tired after the weekend and not in the mood to cook and b) I felt horrible after 'cheating' at the weekend. My OH even suggested it, and I was within a whisker of caving in. This would most certainly have led to 'oh I am weighing in on Wednesday, so no point trying to pull it back this week' and I would have not bothered running for the same reasons. And this would have demotivated me to give up. It is textbook!

So so glad I listened to the advice on here and got back on it. It is still worth doing my best, because losing this weight is not going to happen in a week, or a month, it is longer term than that. In the past I have tried to grin and bear it and be as rigid with myself as possible because I knew that I couldn't keep it up for very long. But this time, especially knowing that it doesn't mean I am gong to have to kiss goodbye to any fun weekends over the summer, I feel like I have the stickability to just fecking keep calm and carry on! I WILL get there in the end, because if you run loads and stick to reasonable calories, you DO loose weight.

Sorry, what a long rambling post, but something has clicked for me overnight that has never done before. And another revelation...I LOVE running. Usually, the only thing that gets me through the long run is the visualisation of the fat melting away as I run. But last night, I was just running because it was satisfying to be able to do it, because my fitness level has suddenly skyrocketed and it was a nice evening and I had re-discovered my MUSE album (is there truly any better running music?). I think I will enter myself in the Cardiff Half Marathon in October.

Sorry, how self indulgent, just a bit of a lightbulb moment for me that's all!

 

[BonnieBooBear]

if you can call a gazillion hours on my stepper watching the Olympics relaxing, you are spot on!

I really did want to hit the 15's, thankfully the weekend had nothing social lined up in it! I was hardcore sisters!!! HARDCORE!!!

Wow just noticed that you are in the 15's! Fabulous, what a nice milestone. Well done Rod.

 

[BonnieBooBear]

View attachment 58539
I've posted this before, but thought I'd share it again since people are asking for these pics. I've lost another 4lb since getting to target and the plaster coming off (every little helps!!) . . . Re-assessment at the gym tomorrow and I'm looking forward to seeing the inch and fat loss results. My last assessment was end March, so it's been four months.

The maintaining part is a challenge, but logging on to Tough Love every day helps me to keep focused. I've increased my exercise and laid off alcohol for July, but have not been so strict on what I eat. I'm really hoping that this will work for me. I plan to have a few drinks in August, but gone are the days of a bottle of red on a Friday night - I have far more important things to do on a Saturday morning these days

WOW! You look like a totally different person! Amazing, you must be over the moon, well done. Whta an inspiration, especially for me because we are roughly the same height and start weight. Thanks for posting it. And what a lush little doggy you have!

 

[faery_lights]

Thanks all for the reassurance. I was dreading coming back, I thought I was going to get a right rollocking! Should clairfy that my damage limitation wasn't that impressive, there was a lot of tempation so only succombing to 50% of it was still quite bad...

But a lush 6 mile run in the bank last night and I thinl I have made an amazing discovery. I thnk the key to weight loss isn't actually obsessing about calories and all that 100% of the time, trying to be perfect, then failing because nobody is perfect. I recon the key is to soldier on through the blips. I can 100% guarantee that before this thread, I would have had a Dominoes last night because we were a) tired after the weekend and not in the mood to cook and b) I felt horrible after 'cheating' at the weekend. My OH even suggested it, and I was within a whisker of caving in. This would most certainly have led to 'oh I am weighing in on Wednesday, so no point trying to pull it back this week' and I would have not bothered running for the same reasons. And this would have demotivated me to give up. It is textbook!

So so glad I listened to the advice on here and got back on it. It is still worth doing my best, because losing this weight is not going to happen in a week, or a month, it is longer term than that. In the past I have tried to grin and bear it and be as rigid with myself as possible because I knew that I couldn't keep it up for very long. But this time, especially knowing that it doesn't mean I am gong to have to kiss goodbye to any fun weekends over the summer, I feel like I have the stickability to just fecking keep calm and carry on! I WILL get there in the end, because if you run loads and stick to reasonable calories, you DO loose weight.

Sorry, what a long rambling post, but something has clicked for me overnight that has never done before. And another revelation...I LOVE running. Usually, the only thing that gets me through the long run is the visualisation of the fat melting away as I run. But last night, I was just running because it was satisfying to be able to do it, because my fitness level has suddenly skyrocketed and it was a nice evening and I had re-discovered my MUSE album (is there truly any better running music?). I think I will enter myself in the Cardiff Half Marathon in October.

Sorry, how self indulgent, just a bit of a lightbulb moment for me that's all!

Not self-indulgent! These moments are important! I had a lightbulb moment when I realised that my skinny friends who manage to eat what they like don't all have magic metabolisms- they exercise and they are more active then I am/was! Eureka! Maybe that's how I can do it too!

The thing about this is that we have to reprogram our brains to think slim people; I think most of us here would say that our relationship with food was abnormal and we were probably fairly sedate people before this. It's changing our thinking. The moments when these changes become concious are to be celebrated!

 

[BonnieBooBear]

Well I DID IT!!!! I didn't give in, HA. It wasn't the food tbh I'm just in a really vile mood, hubby was eating and then started taking the pee and trying to tickle me so he ended up with a fat lip which made me feel better, then britains next top model came on and watching all those skinny b1tches put me off eating lol. I'll use my cals more wisely tomorrow!!!

Bugger, wish I had seen your original post last night when you needed a kick Lou, but well done for doing the right thing. It is REALLY hard to distinguish between hunger and tiredness/feeling run down - the symptoms are the same. I swear I get an empty rumbling feeling in my stomach when I am tired, just like when I am hungry. When I am knackered and feeling sorry for myself I just take myself off to bed and sulk. Easier said than done I guess when you have kids. And it is hard when you are hormonal - so well done for riding it out. You are a superstar - and sorry but your husband had it coming!

 

[loolahoop]

i dont know? tbh i try not to think of the science of it all as there seems to be conflicting advice and i dont know which is right so i just try to cut back and move more...you certainly should be eating more than 700 cals a day in any case.....why dont you aim for 1400 a day in light of the fact you walk a lot and see how you get on? see it as an experiment....in view of the fact you have had an eating disorder perhaps not being so rigid on the weighing every morsel of food? looking at your ticker your losing between 0.5-1.5 pound in the last few weeks, your bmi is just over 25, so your almost in the healthy range, is say its pretty normal amount to be losing....i expect anything from a sts to a 2 pound loss each week, and on weeks like this week (totm and had a bit of a relax off plan at weekend) i expect a bit of a gain...but its ok, its not a race, id love to be at target by next week, but sometimes slowly is the best way, especially near the end, as its more likely to stay off apparently. dont get obsessed...thats dangerous territory for you, chill with it and i personally think your being too strict with yourself if your weighing to the gram and only having 700 cals a day...the reason your not hungry is probably cos youve gone into ketosis,,,apparently this curbs your appetite. if your doing sw why not just follow the sw principles for a while, like i say looking at your ticker you have been losing weight still and your only just over your healthy bmi

lol thats what im trying to say, im not being strict, i ate yesterday the kinda thing i would usually eat on SW (minus snacks)but just weighed it all out and counted how many cals it was 1st to see if i was having too many cals n it worked out to 695 :/
i didnt have my healthy extra B (fibre) which i have had today already, im not goin to restrict myself, i just wanted to see how many cals i have on SW too see if i was having too many and then adjust a bit to fit in with 1200 or so, was just shocked it was as low as 695!
i am gonna carry on for a week, just so i can make sure im doing it right if that makes sense?

thanks for saying thta im losing the correct amount thats actually helped loads, i think its just thrown me as i was not really sticking to plan (just having more syns than i should or not weighing healthy extras) and i lost 8lb in a month, then i had a month of being 100% and i lost 3lb in a month, so kinda got disheartened and was looking for a reason why i suppose...

i am expecting a gain this week, i had an "off plan" weekend, (was my birthday) i was hoping to stick to plan but then i thought hell with it im gonn enjoy myself then start again on monday which i did do, and tbh i wasnt really bad, just had some wine and birthday cake, we went out for dinner and i chose salad over pizza so i am prepared for a gain, hopefully only a small one, but im ok with that.

 

[conlou1]

Hurrah bonnie welcome to the enlightenment team I know I still have blips but that's the point as you say to just carry on and get over it. It is only food and it isn't the end of the diet or the world if you have a blip, as long as you accept that's what you've done, take your punishment....usually in
The form of a gain ad a telling off....and don't moan about the injustice of it all. Sure we'd all lose weight mega quick if we stuck rigidly to the plan but I fear that the problem with this is once you reach target a blow out is inevitable if your missing certain things, if however your totally happy with your new strict lifestyle and don't miss alcohol chocolate etc then that's cool, and your lucky but for most of us we use having a drink on a night out or glass of wine with a meal as a way of release and I truly don't think theres anything wrong with that, so long as you don't go mental and accept that on the weeks you over indulge you DESERVE to gain, it's fair and it's right. We're all adults we have choices, I'm choosing that on special
Occasions I will relax a bit I accept my losses will be slower but I've weighed it up and to
Me enjoying myself is more important on those odd occasions. I don't want to
Put all the fun having and good times on hold until I lose weight, life's too short, I can enjoy myself and still lose weight and it's about picking my battles, choosing when to relax, choosing when to be strict, compensating for having extra and leading a life style you can maintain once target is met. I will not however be having a special
Occasion every week or even every month, I will pick and choose which are important to me and which ones I can still cut back on with relative ease.

I just want to say on the cal thing. I don't think below 1200 is dangerous at all....science boy is on 500 a day and is still alive and kicking but I think you have to weigh it up, if you have an eating disorder having so few cals is dangerous and could trigger bad behaviours. It's personal choice, I would do a vlcd but I just don't have the will power, so I'll wait a bit longer to reach target but I don't think there's anything wrong with it, do what works for you. But I do worry with the amount of ppl I've come across on here who e had an eating disorder as I feel that advice needs to be altered to not get into old ways, I think perhaps regular visits to a counsellor to check in is possibly the best way forward and if I'm honest it's made me wary of tough loving ppl as I'd hate to
Be brutally honest with someone and it contribute to them going back to
Dangerous territory. I don't know enough about eds to be able to
Contribute to good advice so I feel a bit out on a limb when ppl say theyve had eds and tend to err on the side of caution.

 

[SmileyMan]

I just want to say on the cal thing. I don't think below 1200 is dangerous at all....science boy is on 500 a day and is still alive and kicking

But my 559 (those 59 are precious to me!) calories are from a medically designed food replacement. There's no way you could eat a nutritionally complete diet using normal food at those calorie levels.

Just a thought, but if you're eating at those calorie levels and by the sounds of it, ketosis has kicked in for you, why not try switching to a 'proper' VLCD like Slim & Save, Lipotrim or Cambridge. Like I've said, I personally find that complete removal of choice makes the diet easier. If only I lived on my own, I could turn the fridge and freezer off!

 

[lisajade]

But my 559 (those 59 are precious to me!) calories are from a medically designed food replacement. There's no way you could eat a nutritionally complete diet using normal food at those calorie levels.

Just a thought, but if you're eating at those calorie levels and by the sounds of it, ketosis has kicked in for you, why not try switching to a 'proper' VLCD like Slim & Save, Lipotrim or Cambridge. Like I've said, I personally find that complete removal of choice makes the diet easier. If only I lived on my own, I could turn the fridge and freezer off!

Smiley, out of interest, how long did it take for you to stop feeling hungry? Are we talking days or weeks? I am tempted to try a VLCD to get faster results for a couple of months. I do worry if returning to SW afterwards would result in gains, is there a "weaning off" period?

 

[SmileyMan]

3-5 days is the norm. My trip was: day 1: felt hungry, day 2, felt tired, day 3, felt weird, day 4, felt awful, day 5, felt better, day 6 onward, felt fine.

Certain smells trigger a 'oh quantum I really fancy eating that' response (bought the boys some fish and chips to eat in the car on the way home the other day, that vinegar smell was unbearable!) but you don't really feel hungry at all.

When you come off, your body will put on weight because you will physically store about half a kilo of glycogen that you have depleted, so there will be a small 'bounce' - that's why you have to stay on it until you're a couple of pounds below your ideal fighting weight. You also have to be careful during the diet not to exercise too much - keep everything below 50% max intensity or you will get lactic acid burn like you wouldn't believe.

 

[Rod the Bass]

Thanks all for the reassurance. I was dreading coming back, I thought I was going to get a right rollocking! Should clairfy that my damage limitation wasn't that impressive, there was a lot of tempation so only succombing to 50% of it was still quite bad...

But a lush 6 mile run in the bank last night and I thinl I have made an amazing discovery. I thnk the key to weight loss isn't actually obsessing about calories and all that 100% of the time, trying to be perfect, then failing because nobody is perfect. I recon the key is to soldier on through the blips. I can 100% guarantee that before this thread, I would have had a Dominoes last night because we were a) tired after the weekend and not in the mood to cook and b) I felt horrible after 'cheating' at the weekend. My OH even suggested it, and I was within a whisker of caving in. This would most certainly have led to 'oh I am weighing in on Wednesday, so no point trying to pull it back this week' and I would have not bothered running for the same reasons. And this would have demotivated me to give up. It is textbook!

So so glad I listened to the advice on here and got back on it. It is still worth doing my best, because losing this weight is not going to happen in a week, or a month, it is longer term than that. In the past I have tried to grin and bear it and be as rigid with myself as possible because I knew that I couldn't keep it up for very long. But this time, especially knowing that it doesn't mean I am gong to have to kiss goodbye to any fun weekends over the summer, I feel like I have the stickability to just fecking keep calm and carry on! I WILL get there in the end, because if you run loads and stick to reasonable calories, you DO loose weight.

Sorry, what a long rambling post, but something has clicked for me overnight that has never done before. And another revelation...I LOVE running. Usually, the only thing that gets me through the long run is the visualisation of the fat melting away as I run. But last night, I was just running because it was satisfying to be able to do it, because my fitness level has suddenly skyrocketed and it was a nice evening and I had re-discovered my MUSE album (is there truly any better running music?). I think I will enter myself in the Cardiff Half Marathon in October.

Sorry, how self indulgent, just a bit of a lightbulb moment for me that's all!

lightbulb moment! thats what I strive for with everyone on the TL thread! it went off dead early for me, it is ALL about the mind, the body will do exactly what you tell it to do.

thats why Lou's thread "Weight Loss - It's all in the mind" is SO important

BLIP management is different to mindless cheating and hormonal indulgence.

BLIP's are generally socially driven, are a pretty unavoidable part of life and can be PLANNED for in lots of cases. Plenty of examples have already been aired right here.

Mindlessly gorging on a family bag of Dorito's cos you're bored, on the sofa on a tuesday night will win you no sympathy - this is UNPLANNED & POINTLESS and anyone who thinks it's OK ( the "draw a line under it" squad) to validate it are so wrong, it's pretty much abuse.

If your mind isn't set square on your task, if you are a YOYO and if you have no PLAN, anyone will cling to crumbs of validation and sympathy.

So, it's important for me to underline the distinction between SOCIAL CHOICES MADE and MINDLESS POINTLESS WOBBLING

two positives of note recently -

Bonnie's festival followed by the lightbulb moment - choice made, result owned, damage limited, aftermath of loathing and disappointment avoided = positive progress

Lou's chocolate struggle - I can't pretend I have a remote understanding of the hormones thing, I have one mood all the time, but well done, you won the argument with yourself.

Be very clear on this distinction

social blips can be considered, planned and owned, with positive mindset very often the outcome (if weight loss is not achieved, you know why, shrug and buckle down)

mindless cheating - prepare for the wrath of TL

 

[lisajade]

3-5 days is the norm. My trip was: day 1: felt hungry, day 2, felt tired, day 3, felt weird, day 4, felt awful, day 5, felt better, day 6 onward, felt fine.

Certain smells trigger a 'oh quantum I really fancy eating that' response (bought the boys some fish and chips to eat in the car on the way home the other day, that vinegar smell was unbearable!) but you don't really feel hungry at all.

When you come off, your body will put on weight because you will physically store about half a kilo of glycogen that you have depleted, so there will be a small 'bounce' - that's why you have to stay on it until you're a couple of pounds below your ideal fighting weight. You also have to be careful during the diet not to exercise too much - keep everything below 50% max intensity or you will get lactic acid burn like you wouldn't believe.

Thanks, thats really helpful. So you wouldn't recommend using it part-way through my weightloss, or would I just accept some small gain of glycogen when returning to SW to continue my journey? In terms of the science, is it possible for your body to horde kcals/fat once you increase them from VLCD? Or is it just the glycogen gain?

 

[SmileyMan]

When you have lost a lot of weight, you'll need less calories to maintain your weight. A common mistake on VLCDs is to finish them and then return to the previous eating levels - which will result in eventually returning to the previous weight of course.

I presume SW has some sort of component that lowers the amount you're allowed based on your weight - so long as you follow that based on your new weight, you should be fine. You might be initially surprised though by how much less you're eating, and you'll need to retrain yourself completely on adequate portion sizes, which will require discipline and a good set of kitchen scales initially.

On the glycogen thing - having that store there is a perfectly healthy normal thing. VLCDs work by deliberately depleting it, effectively tricking your body into thinking it's a starving hunter gatherer in winter, who is just about managing to scrape together enough food to not die. Part of the big ego boosting chunk of weight you lose the first week on a VLCD is the glycogen store that you'll have to 'pay back' at the end of it. Just mentally add two pounds every time you weigh, then it won't bother you

 

[lisajade]

When you have lost a lot of weight, you'll need less calories to maintain your weight. A common mistake on VLCDs is to finish them and then return to the previous eating levels - which will result in eventually returning to the previous weight of course.

I presume SW has some sort of component that lowers the amount you're allowed based on your weight - so long as you follow that based on your new weight, you should be fine. You might be initially surprised though by how much less you're eating, and you'll need to retrain yourself completely on adequate portion sizes, which will require discipline and a good set of kitchen scales initially.

Believe it or not, SW allowance doesn't change as you lose weight (which admittedly makes no sense to me). I have been looking closely at my portion sizes already, only having recommended portion sizes stated on the packaging. I am already in the habit of weighing everything, so that should help.

guess my binge last week made me realise my issues with food addiction aren't as resolved as I'd like to think, and maybe going food-free for a while will help with that.

Thanks for your thoughts Smiley, I will think about it for a while and do some homework.

 

[SmileyMan]

guess my binge last week made me realise my issues with food addiction aren't as resolved as I'd like to think, and maybe going food-free for a while will help with that.

That's why I'm doing it. I've done more than enough research to know what a healthy 'normal' diet should be for me, and yet I get the whiff of fish and chips and all the bad cravings come back. One thing I know is that I'm determined to never come back to this place again, so I want to be absolutely sure that I've done as much as I possibly can to rid my body (and mind) of that poisonous influence.

 

[conlou1]

I thought vlcd's were only deemed 'safe' for those with a bmi of 30 and above?? I didn't think they were suitable if you were classed as being in or near healthy bmi? Or have I been misinformed?

 

[lisajade]

I thought vlcd's were only deemed 'safe' for those with a bmi of 30 and above?? I didn't think they were suitable if you were classed as being in or near healthy bmi? Or have I been misinformed?

My BMI is well over 30! Might be an idea to use it to get BMI to under 30, then switch back. I don't know how much weight I need to lose to get BMI under 30 though.

Although in saying that, my mom did CD and she was under 30 BMI, not sure what the rules are tbh.

 

[SmileyMan]

I thought vlcd's were only deemed 'safe' for those with a bmi of 30 and above?? I didn't think they were suitable if you were classed as being in or near healthy bmi? Or have I been misinformed?

The pharmacist won't let you start LipoTrim if you're under BMI25, that much I know. I expect they don't work very well once you get down that low.

 

[BonnieBooBear]

Aaargh just did it - registered for Cardiff half on 14th October. Should be at goal by then, and the hope is that it will keep me from loosing the plot during my two week holiday, which is the week before. Don't wanna get too excited as have registered in the past and the pressure got too much so didn't keep up training (although have also run two in the past) so will see what happens. Good to have a focus, but a bit scary too.

 

[conlou1]

Aaargh just did it - registered for Cardiff half on 14th October. Should be at goal by then, and the hope is that it will keep me from loosing the plot during my two week holiday, which is the week before. Don't wanna get too excited as have registered in the past and the pressure got too much so didn't keep up training (although have also run two in the past) so will see what happens. Good to have a focus, but a bit scary too.

You WILL do it woman!!! No
Cop outs this time, the pressure got too much? I will be getting my cane out!!!! well done though

Well I skipped lunch today to
Prove to myself nothing happens and I won't die if I don't eat when hungry, I actually feel better for it. I'm hungry but nothing major. In my face old binging chocolate craving me....the new slimmer me will win, I'm gonna show that inner fatty what I'm made of! Oh and i Got my scan date through about my
Suspected hernia, end of August :/