TOUGH LOVE-APPLY WITHIN

loolahoop said:
oh god :'( ok, i will fess up, i am totally, totally ashamed of this btw, but..this is facing my demons! i will rmember this feeling of 'fessing up to u guys, coz this is scary ..actually admitting what i did! ok, a multi-pack of hula-hoops (6packs) a pack of cakes (6 of em) 4 slices of bread and butter, a whole pack of ham and a whole litre of orange juice...omg!
actually cant believe i even did that to myself! i dont even usually have this crap in my house! it was only there, all unopened because my sister brought it all at the weekend when she came to stay.

ok, 1 more massive confession from me...coz this is NEVER happening again! ...it didnt all stay in my body :'( i was sick, but most of it did, i actually stopped myself and came on here! this is not a relapse, this is a blip, a moment of stupidity..lunacy even! over a stupid argument!
please dont all think too badly of me, i am a complete idiot i know!
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right loola, im not gonna have a go at you about what you ate, im actually really concerned that you made yourself sick, this is how bulemia starts (is it you who has had an eating disorder?) you have been so strict with yourself lately and i now fear perhaps youve been too strict and perhaps starving yourself a little bit? as you were having big losses which is very rare when your at healthy bmi, then to have a mass blow out the way you did and make yourself sick, is screaming at me that you may need to re evaluate everything. were harsh with the truth on here hun, but none of us are for starvation or binging and purging. do you perhaps think that you should go to the doctor? its good to have goals and be exercising and eaitng healthily but now im worrie dyour over doing the exercise and under eating :(
 
yeh that is me, i had suffered with bulimia a while ago, but i havent been starving myself at all, i had just been making sure i haddnt gone over cals at all, and had been doing more exercising. the whole stupid binge was triggered by an argument, i was just so so upset and really felt like i lost control of ...like everything!! but, in all honesty, even though i did induce the vomitting (so sorry TMI!) it was more because of how ill i felt, how full i was ...as im sure u can imagine! it wasnt the same as before where i felt i had to rid myself of it all for fear of me getting fat if that makes sense??
it is DEFINITLEY not something that im gonna let happen again! i joined SW to become healthy, healthy body and healthy mind. i do understand ur concern, but i really am not undereating, or overexercising, i am aiming for 1200 cals a day, and im usually "under cals" but thats literally like by 5! lol other times its like 1250..or something like that and my exercise im doing c25K, which is only 3 times a week, and i started 30 day shred again... so nothing major. it really was a moment of weakness, thoughlessness, stupidity and loss of control.
 
loolahoop said:
yeh that is me, i had suffered with bulimia a while ago, but i havent been starving myself at all, i had just been making sure i haddnt gone over cals at all, and had been doing more exercising. the whole stupid binge was triggered by an argument, i was just so so upset and really felt like i lost control of ...like everything!! but, in all honesty, even though i did induce the vomitting (so sorry TMI!) it was more because of how ill i felt, how full i was ...as im sure u can imagine! it wasnt the same as before where i felt i had to rid myself of it all for fear of me getting fat if that makes sense??
it is DEFINITLEY not something that im gonna let happen again! i joined SW to become healthy, healthy body and healthy mind. i do understand ur concern, but i really am not undereating, or overexercising, i am aiming for 1200 cals a day, and im usually "under cals" but thats literally like by 5! lol other times its like 1250..or something like that and my exercise im doing c25K, which is only 3 times a week, and i started 30 day shred again... so nothing major. it really was a moment of weakness, thoughlessness, stupidity and loss of control.
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Look, it's your life hun but please be careful. I know ppl who've had ed's and they say they won't do cc as it triggers it. Is the 1200 after you've knocked off your exercise cals or before? If its before and your doing the shred and walking etc your eating too littke anyway, perhaps going back to Sw and perhaps move away from cc for a while maybe better for you. I know you say it's triggered by a row but no matter how much I row with someone i couldn't binge to that extent, the fact you was sick is perhaps the only reason you stopped as you felt so ill?? I'm sorry to harp on but it would be irresponsible of me to just say that that's ok. Please be careful I'm quite worried especially with your ed history
 
Rod the Bass said:
ahh grasshoppers....

well I'm alive and well, settled into the the job after 6 weeks - and still losing - but more slowly

I have maintained at 15-9 for seven weeks, still no beer and this morning hit 15-8

I am pleased to see all my favourite losers still keeping this going, I will try my very best to log on once a day from now on and dispense some of your favourite advice

keep on the path sisters, I need to read back many weeks to see where you all are at.....
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Hi Rod I have also started a new job and have also maintained for a few weeks. Think I have gained this week so I've come over here for a kick up the arse and I'm at group tomorrow to face the music! To be honest getting into the new routine is a bit stressful- I feel so much more busy than ever before and exercise has totally dropped off the radar. I feel like giving up on SW and I would love to have a big piece of cake right now! lol. BUT here I am- help a sister out!! :)
 
Hi loolahoop, I hope you're feeling ok.

Sounds like you are really feeling it at the moment. I think that a temporary relapse means you really need to watch yourself over the coming weeks, to make sure you are not returning to your old ways. May I ask how you overcame your ED? Maybe focus on some of the things you learnt on that journey for a while, and less about CC.

No matter how much you want to diet, I believe that the restriction could be dangerous for you at this exact moment, and could trigger another binge. You are very close to target, so just take your time, and make sure you take care of yourself.

I am trying to overcome a binge eating disorder at the moment, so my thoughts are with you, hoping it was a one-off and you feel ok about it soon xxx
 
Rod the Bass said:
ahh grasshoppers....

well I'm alive and well, settled into the the job after 6 weeks - and still losing - but more slowly

I have maintained at 15-9 for seven weeks, still no beer and this morning hit 15-8

I am pleased to see all my favourite losers still keeping this going, I will try my very best to log on once a day from now on and dispense some of your favourite advice

keep on the path sisters, I need to read back many weeks to see where you all are at.....
Click to expand...

Yay Rod! Good to see you and I hope that everything has been good with you in the interim. You've been very much missed.

loolahoop said:
yeh that is me, i had suffered with bulimia a while ago, but i havent been starving myself at all, i had just been making sure i haddnt gone over cals at all, and had been doing more exercising. the whole stupid binge was triggered by an argument, i was just so so upset and really felt like i lost control of ...like everything!! but, in all honesty, even though i did induce the vomitting (so sorry TMI!) it was more because of how ill i felt, how full i was ...as im sure u can imagine! it wasnt the same as before where i felt i had to rid myself of it all for fear of me getting fat if that makes sense??
it is DEFINITLEY not something that im gonna let happen again! i joined SW to become healthy, healthy body and healthy mind. i do understand ur concern, but i really am not undereating, or overexercising, i am aiming for 1200 cals a day, and im usually "under cals" but thats literally like by 5! lol other times its like 1250..or something like that and my exercise im doing c25K, which is only 3 times a week, and i started 30 day shred again... so nothing major. it really was a moment of weakness, thoughlessness, stupidity and loss of control.
Click to expand...

Right Lady! First things first- you are NOT weak or stupid. We get very wrapped up in this idea that eating unhealthily makes us weaker or deficient as a person (The media likes doing it to us too!). Not true. You have made fantastic progress and you need to look at this for what it was- a mistake. You felt overwhelmed emotionally and your response was inappropriate. The end.

I agree with Lottiebird and I think that restricting yourself further this week and effectively punishing yourself for it is the wrong way to deal with it. You don't have to do that- you just need to get back in the saddle and do exactly what you have been doing so far. You'll still have a loss next week that way. That's the best way to move on from it, rather than guilting yourself unnecessarily.

Yes, you ate a lot but the act of eating itself is not bad. Part of having a healthy relationship with food is realising that, but also recognising that if you want to lose weight, you need to make better food choices. There's so much negative language involved in weightloss, which there shouldn't be. I think it makes you more likely to rebel later.

Be honest, own your choices, but don't punish yourself for them. They happen- just try to make as many good choices as you can and when you make a bad choice, learn from it and move on.
 
seriously thankyou all so much for the replies.
firstly i just wanted to say that Lou, i do really really appreciate ur replies :) u had made me think, and your concern is totally understandable, as if it was someone else that had posted what i had then i would be thinking the same as you! but, im good :)
im not about to relapse, it was triggered by an argument, BUT i think the inappropriate coping tactics arrived after lots of little stresses lately, then the big argument was just the final straw and tbh now, i dont even know why i did it, i do feel so so stupid!
im not about to relapse, it really was a temporary , one off, blip :)
like i said Lou's replies have made me think, and i am going to do what FL said, not to so strict and try to compensate for my binge, ill just carry on, do what i do, and if i get a gain...it'll be my 1st ever one, and it would only be down to me, but, it will be gone the following week :)
lottiebird, how did i overcome my ED? erm... i went through 2 lots of CBT, 1st time i felt it didnt work, coz the bloke just wasnt listening and just seemed to recite text books..if that makes sense, well thats how i felt! 2nd time i was doing ok, felt as if i was getting somewhere, then found out i was pregnant, went for my 12 week scan and the baby had died at 9 weeks, but basicaly my body haddnt realised, i wholly blamed myself, i wasnt looking after my body, so theres was noway it could look after a baby and that was the biggest smack in the face ever! so i carried on with CBT and soon stopped the starving and purging, but...carried on with the emotional binges, so became overweight/obese very quickly! its only SW that has changed how i see food, it really is mainly down to being re-educated by SW about food that i feel like i am getting somewhere now :) ...if that made any sense at all, kinda went on a ramble there :/ lol x
 
Loola it sounds like u really have been put through the mill over the years! I agree with faery that you should look at this as a mistake among lots of good work. You must be strong to have come through all that - this doesn't even really compare.

Head down and carry on. Do u want to buddy up with food diaries? I have not been keeping one recently so I know I have made a few slip ups as I'm not recording it all.

Welcome to the newbies as well - cant see stats as I'm on my phone but just so you know the rules.....you must have a target and a goal date and you must be honest about your chosen plan!

Good to see the chief making an appearance - i def need some rod TL (he totally frightens me into renewed enthusiasm lol) Any news from bonnie or smilie anyone?
 
Ugh I've had such a crappy week food-wise. The OH and i are having some serious problems and i've gone from being super healthy and way under my pp for the last two weeks to eating everything in sight. if i'm honest I think a lot of this is down to the fact that i went up to see him over the weekend so before i went up i was desperate to look as great as possible and now I'm back home it's like nothing matters, I'm really down and have just not been looking after myself properly at all this week. I need to remember that emotional eating does nothing but make me feel worse both physically and mentally. I'm on a high whilst i'm shovelling crap down and then as soon as its over I just feel like a complete failure. I wanted to be 8st 5 by my birthday in 2 weeks and I was 8st 11 at my weigh in last week and I'm definitely going to have gained. the funny thing is when I was being healthy i felt so much more positive despite what's been going on and now it all just feels like doom and gloom. I woke up with a sore throat this morning after managing to avoid every single cough and cold that's been going around the office and i'm convinced that's down to the fact that I haven't been treating my body well. I'm so determined to chalk this week up to a minor slip rather than a complete fall off the wagon and I know the key thing is to just move on and forget it instead of torturing myself. I just need to stay positive which is hard when my relationship and my future plans (we were supposed to be moving in together next month) are falling down around me. Such is life i guess and no one got anywhere by giving up so this is where I'm drawing a line under the crap, life goes on no matter what.
 
Well Loola, I think you should be congratulated for managing to overcome something as serious as bulimia. Really! You've come so far and I am so glad that SW is generally helping you with your food issues. We all want to see you succeed so keep doing what you're doing- you'll definitely succeed that way. And think about it this way too- it was one binge! Think about how often you used to do that! I used to eat huge quantities like that probably 2-3 times a week and I was huge portions the rest of the time so even though I still binge, I can still see progress, though I would of course love to reach a 'No Binge' stage. But I recognise that it's a work in progress!

India! It sounds to me like everything is out of control around you, so you've let your eating get out of control too. You can definitely do this- commit right now to making your next meal a good one. Not the whole day, focus on it a meal at a time. Honestly, sliding back into control in regards to food and exercise will make you feel so much better and you know it. So now it's time to go out and do something about it!
 
again, thakyou all for ur words of support, even though i feel i deserved a complete battering lol u have all helped!! :) sparty, would definitely be up for the food diary, i havrnt been keeping mine on here either, have been tracking on MFP, but, again takin into consideration lou's advice, maybe i shoudl stop that and just keep track on here, i know the kinda portion sizes i need now in relation to my plate, so i dont really need to know cals too. so we could help each other - stop any slip-ups hopefully before they happen!
 
sounds good emma :)...can i just ask though (genuine question, hope u dont mind) with pea and ham soup, what do u do for ur superfree? i love pea soup, but worry about the SF side of it :) x
 
sparty said:
Good to see the chief making an appearance - i def need some rod TL (he totally frightens me into renewed enthusiasm lol) Any news from bonnie or smilie anyone?
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i know what u mean, when i see he had posted after my confession i though "oh sh!t!!" haha ...not seen of smileyman for aaaaages! hope he still getting on with things :) not sure on bonnie either! x
 
loolahoop said:
sounds good emma :)...can i just ask though (genuine question, hope u dont mind) with pea and ham soup, what do u do for ur superfree? i love pea soup, but worry about the SF side of it :) x
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I just had some fruit afterwards :) sometimes u just cant fit it in the meal lol oh it had onion in it ;)
 
set urself a smaller goal thats closer lottiebird, not so daunting then :) ...7lb by xmas maybe...or i duna something like that x
 
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