unsupportive partners

[sonkie]

I can remember putting up a post near enough identical to yours......he was so unsupportive and tried everything he could to sabotage the diet.......I stuck with it and he became even more insecure as the weight dropped off.
He was feeling threatened and scared that other men would find me attractive.

Basically he is worried you will run off, but the thing is they dont realise they are helping in the possibility of this happening by being so useless......tell him how he is making you feel.

 

[Julie84]

Aww, I feel so sorry for you. I was having a really grumpy day 4 on Sunday and ended up in floods of tears teeling Neil he was unsympathetic and didn't care (he had simply asked if I was allowed a bread roll on my diet - although to be fair I think no food for at least 6 months made it fairly clear!)

He has changed since then though - apparently he has been missing his lunch break so he can leave work early and have his tea before I get home. Bless him.

Perhaps once he sees how committed you are he may become more supportive? I have my fingers crossed for you. xx

 

[helen1679]

thanks guys i feel so touched with all your comments. i'm not gonna let him sabotage my diet. i'm doing it because i want to feel better about myself. i'm not doing it for him. i'm used to him not being supportive that it doesn't bother me that much. i lost weight after my second son's pregnancy without his support so he knows i can do it, so he's trying to make me fail which isn't gonna happen.

because i haven't for days now, i am hungry but i don't have the desire to eat. i just finished making dinner and i was ok about it.

i think he is an insecure individual. even when i wanted to go to back to work after my maternity leave he tried to discourage me, because i make my own money so i don't ask him for money to do anything. i buy food for the house, nappies pack lunch food, children's clothes some bills, after school activities and i like to contribute. he doesn't take money when i give him so i don't. i don't spend a lot of money on myself but i like spending it on my kids.

anyway i've got this website for support and i'm glad i found it. i'm gonna be here every chance i get.

 

[Shazpaz]

Helen, we are all here for you.

My hubby text me this evening and asked if I wanted him to bring chippy in!!!!!!!! Men!! (not you Allan obvously!!)

 

[Shazpaz]

woops spelt obviously wrong......DOH!!

 

[Amanda34]

You go Helen! There is more support than you can shake a stick at on here...I never thought just going to a forum site would do so much good!

 

[mrs committment]

Hi Helen, I think you will do all right and as you get stronger in yourself, anything he or anybody else does or says to try and get you off your diet will just wash over you. I am like you. I don't want alot of people to know either and really only told my husband cos he's the one that makes the dinner.

 

[TracyJ]

Those posts were fantastic! My partner thinks he is supportive but isnt really. He wouldn't dare taunt me however he was eating my milk tray earlier describing which flavour each time. I actually see is as help because the more he does it the more determined i become!! In fact maybe he is helping in some sort of reverse psychology way!! MEN
xx

 

[Russiandoll]

however he was eating my milk tray earlier describing which flavour each time.

Next time, inject the soft ones with laxative!!

.... then sit back with a black coffee and smile quietly to yourself.

 

[IWILLSUCCEED!]

Next time, inject the soft ones with laxative!!

Love it!!!!!Lol:devilangel:

ps - I got my bloke to read the booklet thingy while he was in front of me and made him understand the rules - Get in my way of doing this and you dieeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!lol

good luck babe
Tansyxxx

 

[Shazpaz]

I actually see is as help because the more he does it the more determined

This happened to me. My 'friend' kept saying "as soon as you come off the diet and eat normal food it will all go back on and A LOT more". Because of that, when I did come off the diet for 7 weeks.....I too was determined not to gain. And I didnt!!!!!!!! You really do have the right attitude. You show him.

 

[pineapple]

Oh me Helen, this is your husband>???????? What the f@ck! I am so sorry, I truly want to come round to you house and batter the living day lights out of him for you! I totally agree with what others have said and he is prob trying to crack your will power to nourish his own insecurities! Is he a confident person or do you think he may be lacking in that himself?

Ha the undies and personalised TSHIRT - What a fab idea!!!

You know what Helen, it really doesnt matter if he does tell people, it may even make you more determined to succeed as you wont want people saying behind your back - they knew you wouldnt manage it! Just keep going and eventually you wont crave those types of foods you used and it will not bother u that your pig of an excuse of a husband is taunting you! Just keep going girl and I bet you once he see's the new slimmer you and you assure him you will not be running of with anyone else (inless of course you want to) he'll love the new you. Try talking to him, maybe make a planned holiday or something for when you have ost the weight, maybe he just wants you to rely on him so if you let him help you he may find it easier and the supprt will come.

Best of luck. x

 

[IWILLSUCCEED!]

Aww Helen,
It sounds to me like HE has the big problem. You are doing something positive for yourself and it's making him feel insecure and defensive.
Please try to ignore him and whatever you do, don't let him stop you continuing on the road you want to be on.
You will do this mate - and we're all with you.
TAnsyxx