Visiting Mom = update

[mommyB]

I can only echo what everyone has said , will be keeping you and your mum in my thoughts

 

[Blonde Logic]

I am home. AFter spending 26 days in a critical care unit, watching mom fight for her life, I am now back in my lounge, familiar surroundings, and it feels surreal.

Thanks again for the well wishes and pms and messages. I have not had time or energy to respond, and dont really yet either, just wanted to say I was back.

Mom still fights an uphill battle. its been just awful watching her suffer, and struggle. And at times I wonder why she does not just let go. But in the few moments of clarity, I see in her eyes her fight. I believe she wants to do this on her terms, and is trying desperatly to get back to her home, to die there. I dont know. The sad part is, she has months of rehab ahead of her. Probably. Though the speed her burns are healing has amazed even the most hardened doctors. They are gobsmacked.

But she is still so unwell - this has taken a HUGE toll on her physically and mentally, and we don;t know yet if what we are seeing are the effects of the trauma, which will ease and go away with time and detocing from morphine I guess - or, is this what she has become as a result. She is unable to speak. Unable to swallow. Needs oxygen. At times shouting out and screaming but not aware she is doing this. Coughing up from her lungs. Its just so hard to understand why she keeps up the fight but she does.

SO much has changed. It gets even worse. We have discovered her affairs are NOT in order, and she has made some very very bad decisions financially. The picture jut could not look any worse than it does.

I had my 50th birthday in the midst of this. I had planned for a long time to find myself a little memento to mark the occaion of the milestone. What it was like turning 50, etc. I never dreamt what I would end up buying would be a cast iron heart.

So, signing off for now, with heavy heart,

BL

x

 

[Jezebella]

Hugs my friend you are in my prayers

jez
xx

 

[daisydoll]

glad to hear you are back safe and sound, even tho its maybe not where you want to be.

thinking of you
daisy x

 

[IreneH]

You are all in my thoughts

Irene xx

 

[Surreystar]

Oh BL I really don't know what to say, I've read this thread with tears in my eyes and a prayer that the final post would say that all is well. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your wonderful mum.
Julie xxx

 

[Quak]

Hugs to you BL, thoughts and prayers with you and your Mum xxxx

 

[Blonde Logic]

Hi

Had a call from my brother Steve. After we left, mom got a bit worse. She continues to decline.

The doctor saw Steve, and spoke with him. He has told us to prepare ourselves....that he believes moms pneumonia is coming back. Her white cell count is climbing - nothing on xrays yet, but he has told Steve he does not think she is going to make it. He has asked if we want them to put her on life support if/when it becomes necissary. Steve has said no. Mom had a Living Will and wants no heroic efforts. Doc has said, when it happens, it will happen fast. either her heart will give out or her lungs. So, it is unlikely i could make it back to be with her.

I don;t want her to be alone in a hospital room. :**(

We need prayers - to whoever you pray to. For mercy.

I feel so full of sorrow. And despair - just so sad.

Thats all for now.

Love you all.

xx

 

[IreneH]

I can understand how you feel. You don't want your Mom to go but you don't want her to be like this. I felt the same with my Mam.

You are in my thoughts and prayers

Irene xx

 

[mommyB]

BL, i really dont know what to say, my heart goes out to you !!

 

[Jezebella]

Sending love and prayers darling

Jez
xx

 

[sukie sue]

oh b.l im sooo sorry for you and youre family , i cant even begin to imagine youre pain .
sending you prayers , huggs and hope xxx
love sukie xxxx

 

[medhurst37]

BL, I am so sorry to hear your news, its times like these when we need to put things into perspective and focus on whats really important to us. She must be really proud of what you have achieved and where you are with your life. My thoughts are with you and your family x

 

[Kik]

Havent posted for a while here but remember ur story BL.
My thoughts & prayers are with you & your mum. xoxox

 

[bexnkev]

BL...I've not been on here for such a long time...just popped my head in so to speak and read your sad situation. Just wanted to send you all my heartfelt sympathy and lots of hugs x In my thoughts hun xxx

 

[Blonde Logic]

Thank you everyone, that helped me with your words of support here. In all the madness, I forgot about this thread, and started a new one - in case any of you following this, and did not see that thread, I wanted to let you know, mom lost her brave fight last Saturday afternoon. She is no longer suffering, and that is the only comfort I take.

I will never forget what she went through....and I will never, ever forget her.

Thanks to all of you for your help and kind words and prayers.

xxxxx

 

[MsJMC]

BL , you could'nt of said it anybetter . I lost my mum last year June and seeing them like that is awful .
Thinking of you and hugs xxx

 

[Quak]

Thinking of you BL, the comfort has to be that she is in a better place and no longer suffering. Sending loads of hugs cos I think you probably need them ((((((((((((((((((((((BL))))))))))))))))))))))))

 

[bexnkev]

Hi BL
So sorry for your loss x It's such a hard time but my thoughts are with you and your family x

 

[Blonde Logic]

Thank you all. xxx