Wedding diet - want the dress and the bikini!

[<3_my_cat_x]

Subscribing xx

Thanks hunny x

 

[<3_my_cat_x]

Struggling ATM only had about 3 hrs sleep last night. Feel hungry ATM guess its cos I had a bad weekend foodwise. Really feel fed up today! Sorry what a moaner! X ps was gonna write a longer post but the cat came n sat on my arm n I can't bd bothered to move him lol x

 

[emmaedes]

Struggling ATM only had about 3 hrs sleep last night. Feel hungry ATM guess its cos I had a bad weekend foodwise. Really feel fed up today! Sorry what a moaner! X ps was gonna write a longer post but the cat came n sat on my arm n I can't bd bothered to move him lol x

Hey hun!

sorry i havent replied!!! another sh*t day at work!!!! get me out of here!!!!

dont apologise for moaning!!! thats what we are here for

dw its just you getting back into ketosis! once your back in you will be brilliant again!!! have some water or coke zero to tide you over until dinner xxxxxx

 

[<3_my_cat_x]

Hey hun!

sorry i havent replied!!! another sh*t day at work!!!! get me out of here!!!!

dont apologise for moaning!!! thats what we are here for

dw its just you getting back into ketosis! once your back in you will be brilliant again!!! have some water or coke zero to tide you over until dinner xxxxxx

Thank you my love! I took your advice (sort of )... I had some coke zero...I just *accidentally* poured some rum in too oops!

Well the upside is that the rum made me sleep which I really needed! I don't actually feel rough this morn either so I've been lucky.

Was laying in bed this morn thinking about what I was gonna eat today, fully intending on cheating - I'm seeing a best friend who I never see who is going through a really tough time this friday for lunch and Im away fri to sun for bros 30th bday so i kind of told myself oh what the heck im gonna cheat then anyway so might as well just cheat now. I actually would have cheated last night if wed actually had anything nice in the house lol but ended up staying on plan (except the alcohol) and having two dry fried eggs and some asparagus.

So anyway was laying in bed thinking about what to eat, eventually got up and went to the bathroom, and as I normally do, weighed myself and was shocked to actually see quite a nice number (not nice but you know what i mean! - better!)! 14st 2.25! I'm thinking I might be a bit dehydrated from the alcohol so that might have 'helped' too lol but regardless, it made me think aactually no i wont cheat. I will be good. I actually then went and tried on some of my swimsuits for the weekend (its an activity weekend - my brother is adrenaline/sports mad) and u know what they didnt look that bad! In fact, I would go as far as saying that one of them actually looked OK lol) So anyway here I am sat here with a bowl of vomit (sorry I mean oatmeal ) contemplating a good day!

Sorry bit of a drawn out story...just amazes me how much power the scales have and how much of a hold they have over me and my mood.

Right tons of work to get on with today so best get started. Hope you all have a good day!

XXXX

 

[<3_my_cat_x]

Diary update miss emma please! x

 

[BeckyT]

Morning hun!

Your post made me smile! I have been guilty of thinking exactly the same too when I have a day or a couple of days on the horizon of plan so I think, oh sod it!

I had a little wobble on Monday night but I sneak on the scales on Tuesday and I was closer to the 10's than I thought so it spurred me on to be good yesterday and ended up having a 100% day! Im not a fan of scale hopping and i try not to do it but it does have its uses sometimes!!! x

 

[<3_my_cat_x]

Morning lovely!

Glad I made you smile Well done you for your 100% day yesterday - ahh I can only dream of the 10s!

It's funny how our brains work isn't it! You just sort of think, oh well if im gonna cheat, im gonna cheat in style!!! Glad Im not the only one who thinks like that!

How long till your hols now love?

xxx

 

[BeckyT]

Morning lovely!

Glad I made you smile Well done you for your 100% day yesterday - ahh I can only dream of the 10s!

It's funny how our brains work isn't it! You just sort of think, oh well if im gonna cheat, im gonna cheat in style!!! Glad Im not the only one who thinks like that!

How long till your hols now love?

xxx

Sometimes when I feel like that I just have to take one day at a time. I know next week I will be working away for 3 days and one of the days will be a buffet lunch and I am already having to stop myself from thinking about it as I know I could end up blowing this weekend

I get weighed tomorrow and then I have 5 more weeks before I go away. I think its a case of too little too late but all I can do is try x

 

[emmaedes]

Good Morning

yay loved your morning post!!! haha i hope you enjoyed that vomit !!! yay to the swimsuit and the scales!!!! i am soooo the same as you!!! if the scales go up......out comes the moody Emma who goes into self distruct mode instantly!!! when they are down......no eating for me! lol crazy arent we!!!

hope you have a good day though!!!

TBH not much to update from my diary yesterday/last night!!! been boring!! did want to write a post but never got round to it!! feeling very ...... strange atm.....like unhappy?! but i cant put my finger on why?!?! weight obviously but i dunno......just like relationship stuff i suppose.....even though nothings actually happened i.e argument etc but just feeling quite down lately! maybe its just a mix of things!!! money is a worry but only this month we have had about £800-900 worht of extra spend this month on extra bills etc!!! so maybe its all of it!! maybe i just feel like i need some excitement back.....ok do you know what it is........me and oh live together so see each other day in day out.........and i love it.......wouldnt have it any other way BUT why do i feel jealous of people that are like "ooo cant wait to see the bf tonight....he's been away....or we've both been busy" do u see what i mean or am i just absolutely mental?!?!?!?!

xxxxxxx

 

[<3_my_cat_x]

Sometimes when I feel like that I just have to take one day at a time. I know next week I will be working away for 3 days and one of the days will be a buffet lunch and I am already having to stop myself from thinking about it as I know I could end up blowing this weekend

I get weighed tomorrow and then I have 5 more weeks before I go away. I think its a case of too little too late but all I can do is try x

One day at a time sounds good It's never too late hun - 5 weeks 100 u could lose a stone Keep going - but most importantly look forward to and enjoy your holiday regardless of what the bloody scales say! xxxx

Don't know if this will make u feel better or not (hope it does - it's meant to!) but think about how many people would love to be in ur position weight wise! You're 5ft 6 and weight 11st 8 - I'm jealous! Hell, I'd love to be 11st 8 even at my height (5ft 2!!!). Also, you can't possibly look overweight at that height and weight (however, I do understand u wanting to lose weight for urself and to feel more comfortable in yourself). GOOD LUCK xxxx

 

[<3_my_cat_x]

Good Morning

yay loved your morning post!!! haha i hope you enjoyed that vomit !!! yay to the swimsuit and the scales!!!! i am soooo the same as you!!! if the scales go up......out comes the moody Emma who goes into self distruct mode instantly!!! when they are down......no eating for me! lol crazy arent we!!!

hope you have a good day though!!!

TBH not much to update from my diary yesterday/last night!!! been boring!! did want to write a post but never got round to it!! feeling very ...... strange atm.....like unhappy?! but i cant put my finger on why?!?! weight obviously but i dunno......just like relationship stuff i suppose.....even though nothings actually happened i.e argument etc but just feeling quite down lately! maybe its just a mix of things!!! money is a worry but only this month we have had about £800-900 worht of extra spend this month on extra bills etc!!! so maybe its all of it!! maybe i just feel like i need some excitement back.....ok do you know what it is........me and oh live together so see each other day in day out.........and i love it.......wouldnt have it any other way BUT why do i feel jealous of people that are like "ooo cant wait to see the bf tonight....he's been away....or we've both been busy" do u see what i mean or am i just absolutely mental?!?!?!?!

xxxxxxx

Thanks hunny! Been a good morning so far - and the sun's even out!

Sorry to hear ur feeling a bit meh. Ur not mental it's completely normal It's human nature to think the grass is always greener .... just remember it's NOT! Men don't understand that living together doesn't mean not going out anymore or doing things as a couple. I always used to saying to OH 'u never want to go out with me (not true really, just less than when we werent living together) - but you always do with your friends!' and he says 'yeh but we see eachother every day' and my response is yes but that's notalways like 'quality time' is it, it's not like going out and having a laugh!!! Anyway, things changed when all of our friends started settling down too (weve been a couple since we were 17) and now we all go out as couples or not seeing friends at all for a while - im just that little bit older than u - but itll happen soon enough - honest!! Anyway, hope that rambling makes sense. Don't be down hun - you're lovely.

Money problems and bills are always horrible - so stressful and can really get u down and put a strain on relationships. Just ride it out hun and it'll get better

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[BeckyT]

One day at a time sounds good It's never too late hun - 5 weeks 100 u could lose a stone Keep going - but most importantly look forward to and enjoy your holiday regardless of what the bloody scales say! xxxx

Don't know if this will make u feel better or not (hope it does - it's meant to!) but think about how many people would love to be in ur position weight wise! You're 5ft 6 and weight 11st 8 - I'm jealous! Hell, I'd love to be 11st 8 even at my height (5ft 2!!!). Also, you can't possibly look overweight at that height and weight (however, I do understand u wanting to lose weight for urself and to feel more comfortable in yourself). GOOD LUCK xxxx

I totally get what you mean, I think it's because I have been used to being 2+ stone lighter so I really feel it. I know I am not fat but I also know that it's not a pretty sight when I am standing in my underwear!

The world would be a boring place if we all wanted to be the same and look the same wouldn't it! I know 'if' I knuckle down I get shift a stone before I go away x

 

[emmaedes]

Thanks hunny! Been a good morning so far - and the sun's even out!

Sorry to hear ur feeling a bit meh. Ur not mental it's completely normal It's human nature to think the grass is always greener .... just remember it's NOT! Men don't understand that living together doesn't mean not going out anymore or doing things as a couple. I always used to saying to OH 'u never want to go out with me (not true really, just less than when we werent living together) - but you always do with your friends!' and he says 'yeh but we see eachother every day' and my response is yes but that's notalways like 'quality time' is it, it's not like going out and having a laugh!!! Anyway, things changed when all of our friends started settling down too (weve been a couple since we were 17) and now we all go out as couples or not seeing friends at all for a while - im just that little bit older than u - but itll happen soon enough - honest!! Anyway, hope that rambling makes sense. Don't be down hun - you're lovely.

Money problems and bills are always horrible - so stressful and can really get u down and put a strain on relationships. Just ride it out hun and it'll get better

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

thanks lovely!!!! nice to know it does improve!!! my oh says the EXACT same thing - i see you everyday! ahhhhhhh!!! lol frustrates me and it is true but still like you said its not like couple time!!! think the spark has kind of been lost atm!!! but maybe he has picked up on it because over last day or so he's been a bit different - i.e yesterday he said he missed me during the day - which we never say anymore....and just a few dif things he has done! prob co-incidence because lets face it .... a guy picking up on feelings..........yer doesnt happen!!! hahaha!!! bless them!!

anywho yer just feeling a bit crap this week with either work, relationship, money, weight or feeling ill lol not a great week so far but hopefully will turn around.........or the weekend will come quickly hahaha!!! xxxxx

 

[emmaedes]

*****Diary Update*****

Morning All

Had a lovely evening last night - dreading weighing myself though because this week has been a really bad one!! So dreading it but gonna do it in a min because I need to not kid myself!!!

Anyway I'm hoping the today at work will be quiet. There isn't many of us in so it should be quiet!! So I'm going to try and read my Paul McKenna book as much as poss today!!! Just watching supersize v superskinny and I'm actually sat here thinking ooo I want those sweets and crisps!! Errr such an idiot!!!! Seriously need to sort myself out!!!! I feel like a fat lump now ..... Think how ill feel on holiday!!!!! I cannot be like this on Hol or in the summer! No no no!!!!!

This week cos we are skint we have things like chicken kievs and jacket potatoes and beans and things like that just because they were on offer but usually i would have two kievs and two jacket potatoes and beans so now it's just one of each def!!!

I'm fed up of making progress then feeling like I'm going back on myself!!! Seriously FED up and I only have myself to blame!!!! That's the most annoying part! It's all my fault!!! I think doing exercise will help as well obvs with weightloss but hopefully will help how I feel too!!

Anyway just wanted to note down my feelings cos I'm so fed up with myself

Xxxx

 

[emmaedes]

How are you?! whats new?! i need some goss!!!! having a quiet day now in office - only two of us here!!! only two hours left and im BOREDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD xxxxxxx

 

[<3_my_cat_x]

I'm back! With my tail between my legs and a few (more like 6 ) extra pounds on my belly!

Basically used my brothers 30th (we went away for 3 days) to give myself a free pass to eat in sight for nearly 2 weeks. So I do deserve the weight gain. I now have 21 weeks till my wedding day. Obviously I need to factor in time to actually get the dress lol and I want to lose 4 stone ish - maybe little bit more. But 4 stone would be amazing. I am now going to be 100% for 21 weeks. I said I'd do it before and I didn't so I feel like a complete failure but I literally have to do this now. I think I can.

Last 2 weeks made me realise that I have a rubbish attitude towards food! Need to get that sorted out too methinks.

Is all forgiven? Can I be welcomed back into the diet fold please?!

Emma - how are you sweetie? Sorry I've been neglecting you! Are you feeling better now? Sorry I wasn't here for you Send me some serious diary entries please missy! Get copying and pasting! xxxxxxxxxx

 

[emmaedes]

I'm back! With my tail between my legs and a few (more like 6 ) extra pounds on my belly!

Basically used my brothers 30th (we went away for 3 days) to give myself a free pass to eat in sight for nearly 2 weeks. So I do deserve the weight gain. I now have 21 weeks till my wedding day. Obviously I need to factor in time to actually get the dress lol and I want to lose 4 stone ish - maybe little bit more. But 4 stone would be amazing. I am now going to be 100% for 21 weeks. I said I'd do it before and I didn't so I feel like a complete failure but I literally have to do this now. I think I can.

Last 2 weeks made me realise that I have a rubbish attitude towards food! Need to get that sorted out too methinks.

Is all forgiven? Can I be welcomed back into the diet fold please?!

Emma - how are you sweetie? Sorry I've been neglecting you! Are you feeling better now? Sorry I wasn't here for you Send me some serious diary entries please missy! Get copying and pasting! xxxxxxxxxx

Morning Hun

Was starting to worry and was going to send out a search party for you welcome back!!! You are welcomed back with huge open arms!!!!

Bring on the next 21 weeks!!! How exciting!!! How's the wedmin going?! Getting it all sorted?! How was your brothers birthday? Xxxxxx

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[emmaedes]

6 days ago:


Ahhhhhh I'm such a fat cow!!! So instead of doing Josie DVD cos I'm in pain I sit here and eat 3 packets of snack a jacks and eat a chocolate biscuit whilst dinner is cooking

FED UP

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[emmaedes]

4 days ago:


Hello All

Right so today I've had the following

B - porridge
L - sandwich (light choices prawn mayo) French fries crisps and a tangerine
D - pesto pasta with two slices garlic bread
S - half a light digestive. 1 x mini creme egg

I feel surprisingly wierd!!! Lol!! Oh is going to football training in a mo..... And as I was cooking I was thinking oo I can tuck into this biscuits and crisps .... Now I've had a shower, had dinner all I want is a nice coffee and then get into bed!!!!

Feel strange today because I suppose I haven't had time to think about food. At lunch I rushed around tesco getting shopping .... Came home and started cooking dinner .... Ate dinner .... Had a shower and now just sat down!!!

Thank goodness!!!!! Xxxx

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[emmaedes]

1 day ago:


Hi All

Right so I thought I wanted to burst into tears before ..... But right now I am lowest of the low!!! It's ridiculous - day off work Friday!! Thought excellent perfect chance to clean the apartment keep me busy and start a fresh .... Biscuits for breakfast ..... Crisps for lunch and a macaroni cheese at 700cals!!!!!! Ouch!!! And then obviously dinner .... More crisps .... More chocolate leaving me feeling bloated and crap!!

Today.....went to watch oh play football at 2 .... He had work from 8:30 and went straight to football!! This left me up early and alone bored in the apartment for 5/6 hrs. . . Que the share bag of McCoys crisps chocolate biscuits, twice, kit kat, more crisps, toast, more toast ..... And this is literally by 11am!!!!!! And then went to watch him play football got back .... We had curry for dinner ... Korma, rice, naan, papadoms, onion bhajee .... The lot!!!! And half way through I got really full and though god maybe my stomach has shrunk .... Erm no you fat cow you have eaten about three times ur daily calories already .... Did I stop?! Obviously not?!!!!!

So now I feel horrid! I feel ashamed?? Maybe I need this to happen to fully kick me up the arse!!!! Today I'm going to my mums for a roast and then to take the puppies on a walk!! So I plan to not eat until then! Lets face it I ate well enough yesterday to last me till 1 today!!! Plus I haven't felt hungry for days!!! Just been constant eating!!!

Then Tomo will start back with my porridge in the mornings! Pitta made at lunch and a small dinner!!!! Need to get out the house more!!! So that might mean puppy will get tired of walks .... Actually he won't he's like a wind up toy the amount of energy he has haha!!! Also with my OH right now I don't want him to touch me let alone see me undressed. . . This is NOT helpful to our relationship and its all my fault!?! Can't carry on!!

Love from a very self loathing Emma xxx

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