ProPoints 100lbs to lose - Carriegirl21's Diary

Well done for getting back to it and losing 10lb :D keep it up! u know where I am xx
 
Ooooooh such a bad day had here!
I was really poorly today but it's also totm so i feel not only dreadful with pain but also pathetic & emotional!

I've used all my daily PP & 5weeklies so far - it's doing my head in cos i'm craving milk chocolate like maaaaaad!!
I've not touched any for a whole month (it was a mini challenge i set myself) & i'm so proud that i went a whole month! I really couldn't stop once i'd started & that's why i'm 2 scared to have some now - i swear if i have one Twirl (my total fave) i will end up having 10! & then that's all my weeklies gone till Tuesday
I can't stand the idea of the guilt i will feel in the morning if i give in.
I know i should be able to include milk choc in the plan but it's like a trigger food for me :(
Also i would find it sooooo hard to get through till Tuesday knowing i had no weeklies left as a buffer... arrrrrrg this is the 1st time i'm really struggling on this round of WW! I swear it's my hormones making me batty!
I really really hope i can write on here 2mo that i didn't give in - i've got to find my strength again - this time it's far 2 important for me to succeed at losing weight to risk messing it up.
I wish i didn't have such an 'all or nothing' take on it this time - but i just can't seem to relax!

Ok, going to chew some gum to take my mind off it!

CG x
 
Today was a funny one - we'd planned all week to have a chinese take-out tonight (first in a month) but i still found it difficult to do as i've been so strict with myself & see a take-away as a 'slip-up' even if it's within my points :(
I didn't used to see it that way when i did WW before...
Well we got it & i ate it far to quickly as i'd been saving my points all day for it so i was starving as we didn't eat till 10pm!
All i could taste was the salt! It was the saltiest chinese i've ever had - it's from our regular place so either it really was cooked differently or my tastebuds really have changed from not having one for a month?!
Very bizzare & in the end i just didn't enjoy it very much :(
I guess it's kind of good as i doubt i'll be craving one again for a while after tonight.

I've become addicted to the low cal bags of popcorn! The Tyrrells sweet & salty is my absolute fave & only 3PP a bag & you get a lot!
Also loving Metcalfe's 'skinny Topcorn' sweet & salty mmmmm but on my calc it comes up as 3.5PP (phone app calc) so i count it as 4PP ... which is why i like Tyrrells more hehe!

I've kinda replaced all the junk i used to eat at night with the popcorn - whilst it doesn't solve my problem with midnight munching - it does mean i eat less points in a day compared to Chocolate & crisps so it's a strategy for now :)

I'm still finding late nights my hardest time to resist the urge to nibble - it's always been my worst time... oh so annoying!

CGx

Sent from my HTC Wildfire using MiniMins
 
Here to follow you hon, spent a little while reading through your posts because I'm quite interested in your reasons to lose weight. Love the fact you don't care what people think and that you're doing this for yourself, for your health and operation. X
Well done on resisting choc a few evenings ago. I'm a divil for choc and crisps too so I _try_ to limit my intake. :) I love popcorn too! I get these wee bags of manhattan popcorn at 2pp each. I've heard the boots shapers maple popcorn is nice and is 2 (or 3 maybe?) pp but I haven't seen it here yet, very little shapers stuff in Irish boots it seems.
Defo gonna look on that site for a dye ;) xx

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Mmm maple popcorn sounds good!

Yup my whole perception of my weight loss has totally changed since i started doing it for the operation - before it was 50/50 for health and looks - i was so bothered by what people thought of me that i missed out on a lot because i couldn't stand to be seen so just never went out :(
It affected my confidence so badly - it still does but now i'm convinced i am actually going to finally lose the weight because i HAVE to where as before i think i thought of it like a dream i would never achieve... it's so strange to have faith in my plan for the first time - i would never have felt like this before!
I wish i didn't have such a lot to lose - sometimes it still looks impossible! It's my weigh-in day tomorrow & i'm a bit nervous eeek!

CGx

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Sunday update (still awake 5am Monday oops!)

I'm nervous for my weigh-in tomorrow :(
I used all my weeklies this week (usually use less than 30) but i also went over by 19PP today nooooooo!
We went to a wedding & it was an open bar (lethal) and once i've had the demon drink i'm not so intetested in chopping up fresh fruit & eating a stir-fry at 2am - no no, i'd far rather fall head first into costa coffee & end up eating a sandwich AND a muffin!! Why muffin why?! Pure evil - 15PP for a muffin urrrrrrg that's a whole meal :'(
Didn't stop there though!
Got home & couldn't sleep as my head was spinning from the booze (only had 3 drinks but i hardly drink anymore so it hit me hard!)
Somehow decided it was totally appropriate to scarf down a big bag of popcorn (10PP) to help sober up - i lost the plot - i blame the booze & lack of saving weeklies which sent me 19PP into the Red.
This is why i'm nervous for tomorrow :(

I'm gutted that i 'lost control' as i've been so strict with myself this month because of my reason for losing weight - i'm really beating myself up over this because it's like i just didn't take it seriously enough. I know it's only one night & it could have been vastly worse but i still hate that i let it happen.
I've got to chill out - hope i will be at peace with it tomorrow & not let it bog me down.
At least i know i don't have the option of giving up like i may have done in the past.

I would love to sts tomorrow or a small loss (doubtful) as a gain is going to make me more mad at myself!

Ah well - we'll see what happens tomorrow eeeeeeek! ;)

CGx

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Aw Carrie am sure you won't of done any major damage !!
Sometimes its just impossible to keep control that's why we are all here. I know how yr feeling right now but the important thing is to just put it behind you its done and
you can't change it so try not to beat yrself up. Keep yr focus and start a fresh today.

Good luck with wi x
 
Hey petal! Don't u be too tough on urself missy! U are doing amazingly!

I used to be so all or nothing which is how I got here! I still am at times! One bad day still leaves 6 good ones! Good luck for WI! And omg wow for resisting choc!!!!! Xx
 
Hiya- finally read through your diary :) Am so impressed by your determination with this! Good luck with your WI today, am sure you'll be fine- but we all slip up now and again so don't worry- in fact I'm sure everyone on here has had a stumble at some point! x
 
Good luck today hon xxx :D

Sent from my Galaxy S using MiniMins
 
Aw thanks so much for the support ladies! Means a lot to know others in the same boat :)
I'm weighing today as yesterday i just felt awful... can't put it off anymore though eeeek!
Yesterday i managed to stick 100% to my dailies & no weeklies (had none left anyway ha!) So am pleased about that.

I have that problem where if i start i find it hard to stop - and now i'm staying away from choc i'm replacing it with popcorn but it's having the same addictive effect! I say i'll just have 2 little bags but find it crazy hard to stop :(
Have to brush my teeth when i want to stop - it's the only way!

CGx

Sent from my HTC Wildfire using MiniMins
 
I know the feeling about needing to stop! I just find the only way is to go cold turkey :( or have nothing in and have to go out to get it- the feeling soon goes away! Bread is my worst, I'm having it while at my parents but once I'm on my own again I can't as I can get through a loaf before I know it! In fact all savoury stuff has a similar effect :(
 
Nooooooooooooooooo!!!!
My scales say 3+ 3/4 lb GAIN!!!
Got pretty narked at my scales as they kept giving me different readings even though i wasn't moving them :'(
Am prettt gutted right now - that's almost 4lbs in 1 week & i didn't go over by a huge amount! 19pp extra over the whole week doesn't seem enough for a huge gsin like that gaaaaaaaah i'm truly gutted!

Am gonna be in a foul mood till next weigh in! Sorry but my positivity seems to have deserted me today!

Obvs i'm going to start my fresh week right now - giving up is not an option.

Ooooooooh i could crush a grape!! ;)

Feel like i've done something so awful to myself & that is a horrible feeling! I stuck to plan ridgidly for the whole week (till the wedding)

I did use all my weeklies for the firsy time - maybe i've gone into rebound as i was under eating the 1st 3weeks?

CGx

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Keep positive, you've said yourself your scales are tempramental so maybe it's not so bad? (and maybe time to get some more reliable scales?)

I had a +4lb gain one week when I went to a pre-course thing and stayed at a hotel on a service station so food choice was very limited so I just thought "stuff it" :p

Maybe it could be the shock of using all of your weeklies for once, do some experimenting with them perhaps? But don't undereat!
 
Thanks, it does help to know this size gain has happened to other people & they've overcome it :)

I invested in proper WW scales (not cheap) but just figured out i've had them for 5years!!
I've moved house a bunch of times since then so it wouldn't shock me at all if they've been bashed up!
I may just get some new ones as these used to be so accurate & if i can't trust them then there's no point!

I'm going to have to work very hard at stopping my brain from trying to under eat this week to counteract the gain - i know full well that i will then turn into a yoyo so going to try & have all my dailies every day & most of my weelies - also try shifting my butt a bit more - might help haha!

CGx

Sent from my HTC Wildfire using MiniMins
 
Honestly my WW scales do my head in and I wont be buying a set again. I double check my loss on a different scales in the house too (the other scales ALWAYS weigh me 2lbs under what I actually am so i just add on 2lb to make it correct). The WW ones though weigh me differently all the time. I could step on them 3 times in a row and get a different reading each time. Maybe we should both invest in some new scales eh? lol xx Chin up love, I'm sure its not as bad as you think. Cant imagine an extra 19pp making you gain near 4 pounds... sounds ridiculous to be honest ;) xx
 
Haha! Mine tell me different weights 3 times in a row too! Totally daft aren't they?
I'm also not fond of the measuring in 1/4lbs - yes it's good if you only lose a 1/4 cos you can still see a loss but it makes adding up your total losses really hard!!

Think i will be buying a new & different set of scales - will do my research :)

CGx

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