Hey guys,
Sorry im not here much these day's. Im not eating great at all. Still feeling crap about stuff with the house which isn't sorted and i totally just want to bury my head in the sand and forget about. But its causing me not to sleep and then eat crap and now i have earache and sore throat and getting hot and cold flashes all day.
Gargled disprin for the throat there now, had paracetamol earlier today so that's it for drugs tonite. Took vitamin C tabs aswel and my multivitamins. Really hope it goes away before wedding on Saturday.
Gona cancel dentist tomoro, get couple of important bits done for going home and then go home. I keep going up and down as to whether i should take the plunge with tryin to sort house but of course, the worse i feel about it, the more i wana put it off. I know the answer is to deal with the problem which is what my mam kept saying to me on phone as i bawled my eyes out but its easier said than done. I just want it to go away and it wont.
But everytime i get close to getting courage to sort it, BAM, i get all panicky about it. I dont wana belittle anyone who suffers from panic attacks by calling it one but it sure feels like what one would feel like. I just wana hide away but thats the problem-thats all im doin. When im not at work, im sitting at home with curtains closed avoiding everyone and everything which i know i cant keep doing either. So basically i know whats wrong, i know how to fix it (or at least confront it) but i wont... pathetic eh?
So, im off to bed now soon at work to try and get some sleep but i know i wont....
xxxx