I've been very, very bad.
Went to WI on Tuesday, and despite having a wonderful week, and watching portion sizes and everything, I STS. Devestated, I didn't even stay to group, instead making up an excuse to leave. On the way home, fighting tears, feeling like crap, I decided that if I wasn't going to see the scales move with all my hard work, I'd see them move by being bad. So I got home and ate, and ate, and ate. I continued eating right up until last night, when I ordered a 15" pizza and managed to eat most of it, resulting in my being too sick to even sleep!
So I'm back on plan today, and after weighing myself this morning it looks like the scales have indeed moved... about 4lb up. I really did eat and eat. I had baguettes, breaded chicken, lots of cheese, sweets and chocolate galore, birthday cake, chinese, pizza, you name it.
Got a call from my doctor on Thursday evening about the results of all those tests. Nothing wrong with my thyroid, nothing wrong with my vitamin levels, or my liver/kidneys. I do have some form of bacterial infection "down there", which hopefully will be sorted out with the antibiotics I'm on. No bleeds the past two days, which is good news, but I think my body is gone into shock with all the food I've been forcing into it.
I was so stuck on self-destruct mode that I refused to even come on here for a look. I wouldn't look at the SW page on FB nor even think about what I was eating. But it's over now, it's done. Hopefully, with two days to WI left, I can get some healthy food into me, drop all the retained water from the naughty food and scrape back a lb or two, leaving me with a 2lb gain. We shall see. Either way, I'm done. I'm back. I'm moving forward. I have to be aware of triggers like that, although in fairness, I had been telling myself for 4 weeks or more that I'd "see it next week" on the scales. And it all just got too much when I never did.
Anyway... moving on.