A quest for the old happy Em

I take it all back about the tablet being fine, I've been feeling constantly sick and yesterday was a new symptom of waking up with a super spinning head. I got up and stumbled all the way to the toilet and back and realised there was no way I was going to make it to the office. Last night I didn't sleep too well as I just felt sick, today I feel sick too :-( Looks like I might have lost a pound this week so far though which is good but it's not worth all this sickness unless I'm losing 4lb a week! I've decided to cut back to one tablet a day for now to see if that helps. I'm also going to avoid all sugary stuff/cheese etc even in small quantities incase that's having an adverse effect. I realise on my diet I should be cutting these things out anyway but when you're feeling sick from lack of food and the thought of everything except sweet stuff turns your stomach you're going to eat the only thing your body seems to want rather than what's healthy. Oh well, fingers crossed for a nice sick free weekend :)
 
Didn't feel quite so sick on the weekend, more a background level of nausea that got worse at times for an hour or so and then eased off a bit. I lost 1.4lb again in the end which is really good - but not sure it's worth the sickness. I have done a bit of googling though and a slow release version of the same drug is available and might cause me less issues so that might be worth a try. I've had no sugar at all which might be helping....I'm currently sucking on a sugar free boiled sweet as I feel like I want to eat something, just not very much!

I'm not really doing the SW thing right now, just roughly counting calories instead as I'm really only eating what I feel I can eat. Friday was a small tin of beans for lunch on their own, then a veggie delite subway for tea, Saturday was a bowl of porridge, nothing all day long and then a Chinese for our 4th anniversary. Then Sunday was left over chow mein for lunch and a bit of pasta with a tomato sauce on for tea so I've not been eaing very much really. All good for the weight loss though and food does seem to be keeping me full a bit longer still so that's a plus point.

Fingers crossed for another loss this week :)
 
Thanks Jane. I've been good at sticking to the 1200 cals or less thing this week - mainly because I'm still feeling constantly sick. Scales haven't budged yet this week but then by Sunday they might have hopefully. Really need to get some sleep though, I'm starting to feel really exhausted. Probably because of the lack of food! I don't know how people cope on stupid diets like lighter life, they must barely have the energy to get out of bed in the morning let alone go to work.
 
Sorry to hear that you are still suffering Em. Hope that the scales are kind to you on Sunday and that you feel better soon.x
 
I started to feel better yesterday, I thought I was finally getting used to the tablets, but then after lunch out eating pizza I felt very rough all afternoon. It was all I ate except an Alpen light bar so I think I'll be ok for the day calorie wise. It also stopped me eating anything else all day whereas normally I'd be hungry again a couple hours later so that was good. Scales are showing a loss so far this week but I was hoping it'd be a nice loss with a 2 at the start of it at least and not a 1. Nevermind, even at a pound a week it'll chip away at it slowly and I should be 13 stone something instead of 14 something by xmas.
 
After my last post hoping for a 1 at the start of my loss this week even that was too optimistic it turned out...0.8lb in the end, all of which had gone back on by this morning. Do you sometimes wonder why you bother!? I do. I tried really hard, counted calories all week and I lose nothing. I'll stick with it this week in the hope it's just slow catching up.
 
Sorry that you are feeling so dissapointed Em, hopefully your hard work will show on the scales next week. Don't give up the fight. x
 
0.6lb on this week, as well as the 0.8lb that came off and went straight back on last Sunday/Monday. I was good all week but had an enjoyable weekend in Liverpool eating naughty stuff. It was the works xmas shopping trip and I had a great time. We walked for at least 5 hours each day so that might help, and we skipped lunch both days to save up for our dinner Saturday night (a buffet place) and had breakfast in the hotel Sunday that kept us going to dinner in Wagamamas. We didn't snack in between and I didn't go crazy at the all you can eat buffet - I was quite restrained. But still, it's all bad isn't it. Back to it today and I made up some syn free parsnip soup last night to have for my lunches now it's getting colder.


I had to bite the bullet and buy some size 20 black trousers in M&S for work as I literally have nothing left to wear that fits aside from leggings and a couple dresses and my summer linen trousers. They are very nice I just wish they didn't have a '2' at the start :-( Everything else I have in tops and dresses are still size 18 though thankfully.


Bit of a panic that I wouldn't get my engagement ring on when it finally arrived last week but it fits nice and snug - I certainly can't gain any more weight or it won't fit and that'd just be awful to have to tell my other half I've had to stop wearing his very expensive ring because of my chubby digits :-(

The shopping trip was fun though despite the size 20 trousers. I bought a leaf and bird print dress in SimplyBe (didn't even know they had shops), some really cheap boots for £30 in another shop I'd never heard of and some tights in good old Primark. Always nice to shop somewhere new with shops you don't usually get. I had to fight hard to resist the £165 DM's in the DM shop!! I felt the £30 pair would be compensation and I couldn't really buy 2 pairs of boots in one weekend. We also picked up a lovely coat rack for the hall reduced to £30 supposedly from £165 which they luckily let us come back and collect as I didn't fancy carrying that round town all day. All in all a lovely weekend away and new stuff is always a bit of a pick me up isn't it :)

Well onwards and hopefully downwards for a change!
 
I've been hiding away my fat self trying to get my head in the right place :-( Really don't know why looking at my ever increasing belly and the number on the scales isn't enough to shock me into action. I've had a cold the last week or so so I only feel like eating rubbish when I'm like that....gained 1.5lb in the last few weeks so it could be worse I suppose ;-)

Today I'm going to try and get back in control as my only bad day this week should be the works xmas meal on Friday.
 
You are not the only one in hiding Em. Its nice to see you back and you have done well to have only put on 1.5. I am also struggling to get focused again, its especialy hard when we are surrounded by loads of Christmas goodies! xx
 
Why is it so hard eh!? We haven't even had that many xmas things hanging around the office so I can't use that as an excuse. This week I put on 1.7lb....in just one week - how!? I think I've been neglecting to take my metformin tablets with my evening meal on a few occasions so that might not have helped.

This is the same weight I was before I went strict before hols and said this was the biggest I ever wanted to be again so today it's writing everything down and getting back into it properly. Might get a couple pounds off for xmas. Wish me luck!
 
Ok so Christmas is done, new year is fast approaching and we all know what that means!! Yes, time to try and get back on the wagon :) Been a write off over the festive period, really have given up trying to be honest and I've only myself to blame. Will 2013 be my year to succeed? I do hope so as I have so many nice clothes to wear when I'm slimmer. I suppose the only good thing is that it's kept me away from the sales as I'm not a fan of clothes shopping when I'm bigger - funny that eh!? ;-)

Right tomorrow it is then, back on track....must attack the left over sweeties tonight then eh.
 
A positive end to my day yesterday was that I re-joined a new fat club. I made a random snap decision yesterday on my way to work to join the one my hairdresser goes to. Who says I can’t be spontaneous ;-) It’s a good time of 6pm so I won’t be home so late I’m having dinner at 9pm but can get to it without leaving work too early, plus it’s within walking distance which is good exercise and good thinking ‘me’ time by myself, the consultant is really nice, motivating and on the ball, the class is loud and chatty and friendly and much more like the original class I attended after Uni. One of the new starters was an old school friend too (there were 7 of us newbies, as I knew there would be as it’s new year – be more next week too I expect). I didn’t know where the hall was but I headed in roughly the right direction and then followed at a distance behind a biggish girl I thought might be going the same way if I was lucky (I expect she thought I was stalking her or something). Just as well I did as it was through a few dark back streets and rows of garages hidden away and I never would have found that by myself. My hairdresser was there of course, a girl I worked with at Kwik Save as a teenager who I’ve not seen in years, and my cousin! I didn’t know she'd gone back to class but she said she’d been back since September. They have a facebook page for keeping in touch mid week and helping each other, they went out for a xmas social which the other group never would have done, and they just seem more….well my kind of people and exactly what I need to get to target this time. Wish I’d tried this class last time! I’m signed up for 12 weeks initially to see how I get on. I think it’s still going to be a struggle to get it off but I’ve honestly not been helping myself much this last few months.
 
Somehow the same thing always happens, start dieting again and temptation turns up at work the very first day! Yesterday was mince pies, today is still mince pies (they'd usually be gone in one day but others are obviously trying to be good too!), and to add to them there's two big tins of biscuits now. I've resisted so far though, been munching on the rocky road hi fi bars I bought at class as they're yum :)

Yesterday was spot on, managed just 5.5 syns so that's good for a first day. Today will hopefully be a similar amount as I have the same thing for my tea - syn free chips and smash pizza, mmm.

I decided to change my ticker and my stats to reflect the weight I am in class or it just gets too complicated. It's 3lb heavier than a morning weigh in at home but when you weigh 15 stone that's a drop in the ocean really isn't it!
 
Nice to see you back Em. Happy New Year! I am also going to join a new group on Wednesday.It starts at 5.30pm and is quite close to where we live. The consultant is apparently very supportive.I intend to get a 12 countdown as well. Fingers crossed for us both. xx
 
It was a good deal if you got the 12 week countdown as you joined for free. Plus you know you've got 12 weeks of motivation that way - hopefully!

Friday was as tempting as the previous two day with yet more cakes for someones birthday being added to the pile!! There are still biscuits left but I'm resisting so I'm feeling good about that.

My syns so far have been under 10 every day as that's what they advise to start with don't they, not the full 15. So far so good. The scales were nice to me on the weekend but I'm thinking maybe I'll try and stop doing that now I'm back at class so each week on the scales is a surprise. For me just hopping on once since Wednesday is an achievement though :) I'm hoping to get a nice 2.5 to 3lb off in my first week. I'm already trying to brace myself for the week on week feeling of frustration and failure of seeing those who I joined with lose 3 times as much weight as me each week. I keep telling myself my medical issues mean a pound off to me is the same as 3lb to a normal person so I shouldn't be disheartened but it's still tough.

Good luck with your new class Jane, I hope we both do well in 2013 with new motivation and determination to get there this time :)
 
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