A quest for the old happy Em
- Thread starter EmmyLou30
- Start date
I'm sure you've earned a holiday and Belgium sounds like a lovely choice. I don't drink but I'd totally stuff myself on chocolate while I was there - I have no will power when it comes to holidays!
I'm trying to be restrained at the moment as there are cakes on the cake table. I'm having my alpen light instead
Been on plan all week and I'm keeping my fingers crossed for a loss on Wednesday night.
I'm trying to be restrained at the moment as there are cakes on the cake table. I'm having my alpen light instead
Been on plan all week and I'm keeping my fingers crossed for a loss on Wednesday night.Well what a shocker after last week, didn't think I'd be lucky enough to get to my stone award let alone smash that by another 2 lb. I lost 4lb!! So got my stone award as well as getting slimmer of the week never thought I'd ever get that. The fruit bowl was nicely full too so even better! I know to hold onto a loss like that I need to be 100% but I've not got any meals out planned.
never thought I'd ever get that. The fruit bowl was nicely full too so even better! I know to hold onto a loss like that I need to be 100% but I've not got any meals out planned.Well tonights weigh in is going to go soooo badly. My scales say I've gained back the 4lb plus another 1lb for good measure. Now I get that the 4lb wasn't a real loss, only a pound of it was, plus another pound I should have lost this week means my gain should be only 2lb if that makes sense. I did have a day of eating more calories than normal on Sunday for Mothers day and Monday when we spent the day in Cheltenham after dropping the other half's Mum off home. But both days were under 2000 calories which is supposed to be ok isn't it. I would still expect to lose weight this week but obviously my body has other ideas.
I'm not staying tonight as I have too much to do at home but it will look like I'm just too chicken to face up to my gain which bothers me. I don't want to appear chicken! Last week class went on for half hour more than usual and was really long and drawn out so I can't be doing with that this week.
I'll report back later but I expect I will still be a grumpy Emma :-(
I'm not staying tonight as I have too much to do at home but it will look like I'm just too chicken to face up to my gain which bothers me. I don't want to appear chicken! Last week class went on for half hour more than usual and was really long and drawn out so I can't be doing with that this week.
I'll report back later but I expect I will still be a grumpy Emma :-(
On the plus side the gain was only 3lb, on the downside that means I only lost 1lb in two weeks :-( I guess that's about the rate I'd expect though, 0.5-1lb a week. So back to it today, 100% on plan, and I want a loss next week. I did get a little * week visit this morning so that could explain away a pound of weight gain I guess (yes, clutching at straws now!). I know I do this though, stick to it rigidly for a few weeks and then have to have a week of eating normally just to break the monotony and make me feel normal and not like I'm on a punishment diet, then get back on the wagon and carry on.
I'm still having issues with the anaemia as my blood test last week aparently says I'm cured all of a sudden! So either they didn't test for the right thing, or else I need an iron reserves test like my Mum had to confirm it. Yet more needles, great. My hair is falling out by the handful though so it needs sorting asap. I have a phone appointment with the doctor tonight to try and sort it out. I want to get back to the gym but the walk to fat club is killing me right now. My legs were like jelly last night, I was close to passing out from sheer exhaustion and could feel myself wandering left to right on the pavement like a drunk or something with the effort of putting one foot in front the other and came home and crashed on the sofa for half hour to get myself together before I could make tea. Stairs at work have the same effect. I guess if you don't carry oxygen in your blood properly you get breathless as your lungs aren't getting enough and your muscles aren't either. Argh, I know others are far worse off than me who's going bald and feeling crap but I just want to be fixed like a normal person....I seem to use that word a lot, normal. I guess I feel far from that a lot of the time when I look around at people I see as being normal.
Off to eat a hi fi bar now and start the day as I mean to go on, on plan
I'm still having issues with the anaemia as my blood test last week aparently says I'm cured all of a sudden! So either they didn't test for the right thing, or else I need an iron reserves test like my Mum had to confirm it. Yet more needles, great. My hair is falling out by the handful though so it needs sorting asap. I have a phone appointment with the doctor tonight to try and sort it out. I want to get back to the gym but the walk to fat club is killing me right now. My legs were like jelly last night, I was close to passing out from sheer exhaustion and could feel myself wandering left to right on the pavement like a drunk or something with the effort of putting one foot in front the other and came home and crashed on the sofa for half hour to get myself together before I could make tea. Stairs at work have the same effect. I guess if you don't carry oxygen in your blood properly you get breathless as your lungs aren't getting enough and your muscles aren't either. Argh, I know others are far worse off than me who's going bald and feeling crap but I just want to be fixed like a normal person....I seem to use that word a lot, normal. I guess I feel far from that a lot of the time when I look around at people I see as being normal.
Off to eat a hi fi bar now and start the day as I mean to go on, on plan
I should be a doctor, as I've magically cured my own anaemia. The doctor told me they did test for the reserves as well and they were fine - so why do I have all the symptoms then if you say I'm no longer anaemic and my thyroid is fine!? What's causing me to feel so tired and easily worn out. As usual the NHS just say they don't know (and don't care). I'll question the specialist in April when I see him and find out what they plan to do next.
Today I'm wishing I was at home curled up on the sofa as * week is giving me serious grief and the coke machine is out of diet coke. Not a happy bunny today! On the plus side though I've lost half a pound since Wednesday night so fingers crossed the week carries on getting better.
Today I'm wishing I was at home curled up on the sofa as * week is giving me serious grief and the coke machine is out of diet coke. Not a happy bunny today! On the plus side though I've lost half a pound since Wednesday night so fingers crossed the week carries on getting better.
Thanks Jane. I'm not hopeful the so called specialist can do much but this time I won't be fobbed off with 'well it must be just you as your blood test says you're fine. Not everyone is a wide awake person or has a lot of energy'. Yes, very helpful! I let them sign me off with that as a closing comment last time but not this time.
The weekend was good, scales still reporting a small loss. Shame it's not more but a loss is a loss. I managed to injure myself 3 times doing housework. The dyson fell over onto the back of my arm and I have a huge lump and bruise, I pulled a muscle in my lower back changing the bed, and whilst scrubbing the washing machine drawer out in the sink the sticky out bits on the bottom caught my fresh scar on my finger and sliced it open again. They weren't even sharp bits of plastic but my fresh scar just cut like butter. What are the chances of hitting that exact spot on one particular finger!? I did get lots of housework done though and all those little jobs you put off like descaling the kettle, cleaning the washing machine drawer, cleaning out the fridge and washing the shelves and drawers, so it felt very productive even though I didn't leave the house from Friday night to this morning!
Fingers crossed now for a good start to the week. Sun's out, I got parked out in our ever shrinking office car park, I've had my breakfast alpen light bar and * week is almost done
The weekend was good, scales still reporting a small loss. Shame it's not more but a loss is a loss. I managed to injure myself 3 times doing housework. The dyson fell over onto the back of my arm and I have a huge lump and bruise, I pulled a muscle in my lower back changing the bed, and whilst scrubbing the washing machine drawer out in the sink the sticky out bits on the bottom caught my fresh scar on my finger and sliced it open again. They weren't even sharp bits of plastic but my fresh scar just cut like butter. What are the chances of hitting that exact spot on one particular finger!? I did get lots of housework done though and all those little jobs you put off like descaling the kettle, cleaning the washing machine drawer, cleaning out the fridge and washing the shelves and drawers, so it felt very productive even though I didn't leave the house from Friday night to this morning!
Fingers crossed now for a good start to the week. Sun's out, I got parked out in our ever shrinking office car park, I've had my breakfast alpen light bar and * week is almost done
Been on plan all week and I went back to the gym at long last! I only did 20 minutes but that was at a steady pace and I didn't feel too bad afterwards. It was nice to feel like I could get back into doing it even if it is something I don't particularly enjoy ;-) I'm planning on going tomorrow night as well. The only ache I had today is in my varicose vein on my leg. All the 'experts' will tell you exercise will help them but clearly I'm the exception to the rule as it makes mine play up. It hasn't hurt really since I quit the gym last year after busting my coccyx so I know that's the cause. I did get it noted at the doctors though so when I feel like I want it fixed I'll just need to go to the private hospital and they'll fix it (for a price). Think I'll try and get the gym going as a regular thing for a couple months and see how it goes. If it's still painful I'll get it done. Not the most sensible time of year given that it'll be coming up to skirt season but never mind
I'm feeling quite chipper today, listened (and sang along badly) to The Bangles on the way to work, it's sunny, the scales were kind this morning so I'm hoping for a good weigh in tonight and it's the middle of the week. Roll on the weekend!
I'm feeling quite chipper today, listened (and sang along badly) to The Bangles on the way to work, it's sunny, the scales were kind this morning so I'm hoping for a good weigh in tonight and it's the middle of the week. Roll on the weekend!
Another spectacular yo yo again this week with a loss of 3.5lb! My usual negativity though in class when she said 'well done, you've really turned it around from last week' as if it was down to me being amazingly good after last weeks pig out and I said 'well no not really. I lost 4, gained 3, then lost 3.5 so overall that's -4.5lb in 3 weeks which is fantastic and I'm very happy with that. My only concern is that it just shoots straight back up next week again for no apparent reason as the last few weeks have done. She told me I was being negative and if I went out with that attitude then that's what would happen. It's out of my control of course as the last few weeks I've just stuck to the plan like normal and the scales have done what they fancy but that still doesn't mean I should be so negative. My other half said I was infuriatingly negative and my consultant was quite right. So I'm taking the 4.5lb loss over 3 weeks, enjoying the fact the scales say 13st 13.5 instead of 14 something and vowing to have a totally on plan week with some gyming. At least then if it does go up next week I can say it was down to my exercise increasing which won't make me sound like a negative nancy in class ;-)
I'm really enjoying my new class. Having the right class makes so much of a difference. We all had such a laugh last night. One girl had posted on our groups facebook page that she'd had 24 sh*ts on Saturday night but mis-typed the 'o' with an 'i' instead so she got a mention for that. Someone else said her boyfriend had told her an orgasm burns 60 calories so that was good body magic. And lots of talk about doing the scan bran challenge of eating 5 a day for 5 days and what that was likely to do for your toilet habits! I'm not sure it was really appropriate talk around the 8 year old girl in the room who comes with her Mum every week but it was her Mum that had the 24 sh*ts!
Gym tonight, I've got my kit all packed ready. I'm going to aim to do the same as last time with 20 minutes. I might chance a go on the rowing machine now my finger is better from the weekend's fresh cut.
I'm really enjoying my new class. Having the right class makes so much of a difference. We all had such a laugh last night. One girl had posted on our groups facebook page that she'd had 24 sh*ts on Saturday night but mis-typed the 'o' with an 'i' instead so she got a mention for that. Someone else said her boyfriend had told her an orgasm burns 60 calories so that was good body magic. And lots of talk about doing the scan bran challenge of eating 5 a day for 5 days and what that was likely to do for your toilet habits! I'm not sure it was really appropriate talk around the 8 year old girl in the room who comes with her Mum every week but it was her Mum that had the 24 sh*ts!
Gym tonight, I've got my kit all packed ready. I'm going to aim to do the same as last time with 20 minutes. I might chance a go on the rowing machine now my finger is better from the weekend's fresh cut.
Thanks Jane, yes I'm really pleased that I've kept the losses going since re-joining class. It's the longest I've managed losses for since I came off the pill in March 2011 (blimey, just realised how long ago that was!).
Went to the gym last night, went a bit harder on the cross trainer, about the same on the treadmill and 6 minutes of rowing at a good pace, plus 60 sit ups. I was going to do weights as well but I had to get back and pick my brother up at a set time so didn't get chance. I'm really pleased I managed better than Tuesday, and I don't even have an aching tum like I thought I might from the sit ups. I've a way to go to get back up the 100 I used to do as 60 was really pushing it last night, but it was a good attempt.
Just had my lunch of syn free spag bol and spaghetti and one of the blokes by the microwaves in the canteen said 'got enough there have you!?' while looking my fat self up and down. I just sort of smiled awkwardly and walked off. Wish I'd been quicker to say something like 'well I don't keep my voluptuous ample figure eating rice cakes you know' so he was the one who felt awkward. Maybe he just said it without any real malice or thought and I just took it wrong but I can't help being a bit sensitive about food and my appearance.
I didn't eat it all though, and it was syn free and will keep me going for a couple hours so I don't really care how much it looked on the plate. It was actually a shallow bowl with a big lip round the edge so that didn't help.
Dinner at a friends house tomorrow night and it's thai green curry. Never had it before but I know it's creamy and bad for the diet! So I'll be walking there and back and not eating much all day to compensate.
Went to the gym last night, went a bit harder on the cross trainer, about the same on the treadmill and 6 minutes of rowing at a good pace, plus 60 sit ups. I was going to do weights as well but I had to get back and pick my brother up at a set time so didn't get chance. I'm really pleased I managed better than Tuesday, and I don't even have an aching tum like I thought I might from the sit ups. I've a way to go to get back up the 100 I used to do as 60 was really pushing it last night, but it was a good attempt.
Just had my lunch of syn free spag bol and spaghetti and one of the blokes by the microwaves in the canteen said 'got enough there have you!?' while looking my fat self up and down. I just sort of smiled awkwardly and walked off. Wish I'd been quicker to say something like 'well I don't keep my voluptuous ample figure eating rice cakes you know' so he was the one who felt awkward. Maybe he just said it without any real malice or thought and I just took it wrong but I can't help being a bit sensitive about food and my appearance.
I didn't eat it all though, and it was syn free and will keep me going for a couple hours so I don't really care how much it looked on the plate. It was actually a shallow bowl with a big lip round the edge so that didn't help.
Dinner at a friends house tomorrow night and it's thai green curry. Never had it before but I know it's creamy and bad for the diet! So I'll be walking there and back and not eating much all day to compensate.
Saturday wasn't as bad as it could have been food wise. Didn't eat too much during the day, the curry was really nice and not too saucy/naughty. The cheesecake for pudding was naughty though ;-) Then randomly we decided to go out for the day shopping on Sunday. I did try on a few things but nothing fitted quite right, although all of it was size 18 and in White Stuff that's not generous sizing so I was pleased with that as I must have shrunk a bit since January. I just wish they wouldn't make everything so low at the front that you need little tops underneath to cover your bra - I don't do layers!! Too hot and fussy for me with stuff riding up and moving about, can't be doing with it.
We did pick up some useful stuff while out like a new loo brush holder - how exciting! Or spare pillow protectors, just gets better and better doesn't it I've got a whole day shopping in Bristol next week before seeing Starlight Express so I wasn't that fussed about looking for anything much. We had lunch/dinner in Pizza hut. It was about 4pm but we'd not eaten anything all day so it was an all in one meal to cover the whole day! We had some chocolate for pud when we got home so that was a really bad day diet wise. I reckon I had around 4100 calories over the 2 days so not wildly indulgent but I do feel rather fat today. I'm hoping to pull it back by Wednesday by being super good until then. I'm off to the gym tonight as well, trying for 2 visits again this week.
Right, time for my morning alpen bar
We did pick up some useful stuff while out like a new loo brush holder - how exciting! Or spare pillow protectors, just gets better and better doesn't it
I've got a whole day shopping in Bristol next week before seeing Starlight Express so I wasn't that fussed about looking for anything much. We had lunch/dinner in Pizza hut. It was about 4pm but we'd not eaten anything all day so it was an all in one meal to cover the whole day! We had some chocolate for pud when we got home so that was a really bad day diet wise. I reckon I had around 4100 calories over the 2 days so not wildly indulgent but I do feel rather fat today. I'm hoping to pull it back by Wednesday by being super good until then. I'm off to the gym tonight as well, trying for 2 visits again this week. Right, time for my morning alpen bar
Yesterday was totally on plan, just 4 syns. I made some vegetable soup for the next couple of days to be extra good with the superfree foods. It was our challenge in class last week to have soup every day so I'll manage 3 out of 7!
I was making a right old mess in the kitchen last night and my boyfriend always moans that my diet makes too much washing up ;-) I made syn free rice pud with diet cream soda as reccomended by someone in class. It was alright, if you need an easy syn free pud it's passable! I made my soup, and I made syn free chips. I bought myself one of those mesh trays from the pound shop, quite flexible and made of what looks like string coated in something and woven into a mesh. Cooks the chips all over as they get air flow all round them. I'd been debating over whether to get a Tefal actifry or a Phillips Airfryer to do my chips better but both are expensive, take up too much room on the worktop and have quite mixed reviews online. My £1 tray has made my chips more chip like so I'm happy with that now
I did a really good session in the gym last night, weights as well. I can feel it in my chest and arms today so I definitely worked the right muscles! I noticed in the mirror afterwards how flabby my arms are, proper flapping bingo wings. Where'd they come from!? I swear they never used to be there, they must have sneaked up on me this last year without my realising. Hopefully improving my arm muscles will help get them toned a bit but I'm a bit worried they won't go back as I've stretched the skin by being fat. The other girl at work who lost about the same as I plan to lose still has wobbly arms and she does some sort of exercise every single day so maybe I'll be the same. Have to wait and see I guess.
Easter biscuits, rice crispy cakes and corn flake cakes on the table to resist today! I love a nice easter biscuit. But no, must resist. I have a weekend of bad behaviour to undo before tomorrow night. I haven't had chance to get on the scales since Friday so I have no idea how I'm doing - which is a good thing. I think I might try and avoid them tomorrow morning too to get a proper surprise on the scales tomorrow night (good or bad!). I do like the anticipation of standing in the queue to get weighed. It's a nervous time and you hope you've done well, know you've been good, but somehow what they show is never what you're expecting.
I was making a right old mess in the kitchen last night and my boyfriend always moans that my diet makes too much washing up ;-) I made syn free rice pud with diet cream soda as reccomended by someone in class. It was alright, if you need an easy syn free pud it's passable! I made my soup, and I made syn free chips. I bought myself one of those mesh trays from the pound shop, quite flexible and made of what looks like string coated in something and woven into a mesh. Cooks the chips all over as they get air flow all round them. I'd been debating over whether to get a Tefal actifry or a Phillips Airfryer to do my chips better but both are expensive, take up too much room on the worktop and have quite mixed reviews online. My £1 tray has made my chips more chip like so I'm happy with that now
I did a really good session in the gym last night, weights as well. I can feel it in my chest and arms today so I definitely worked the right muscles! I noticed in the mirror afterwards how flabby my arms are, proper flapping bingo wings. Where'd they come from!? I swear they never used to be there, they must have sneaked up on me this last year without my realising. Hopefully improving my arm muscles will help get them toned a bit but I'm a bit worried they won't go back as I've stretched the skin by being fat. The other girl at work who lost about the same as I plan to lose still has wobbly arms and she does some sort of exercise every single day so maybe I'll be the same. Have to wait and see I guess.
Easter biscuits, rice crispy cakes and corn flake cakes on the table to resist today! I love a nice easter biscuit. But no, must resist. I have a weekend of bad behaviour to undo before tomorrow night. I haven't had chance to get on the scales since Friday so I have no idea how I'm doing - which is a good thing. I think I might try and avoid them tomorrow morning too to get a proper surprise on the scales tomorrow night (good or bad!). I do like the anticipation of standing in the queue to get weighed. It's a nervous time and you hope you've done well, know you've been good, but somehow what they show is never what you're expecting.
I resisted the cakes yesterday, and only had a 4 syn day so was very happy with that. I also avoided the scales this morning so tonights weigh in will be a surprise. I'm feeling fat after the weekend still so I'm not hopeful - but I never am! ;-) Even half a pound off I'll be happy with as it will be an end to the yo yo-ing of the last 3 weeks. I think I've earnt half a pound.
I'll check back in later today or tomorrow with the results
I'll check back in later today or tomorrow with the results
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