Abi's weightloss diary - post jaw surgery

[abz]

hey everybody. well just less than two weeks until my corrective jaw surgery to fix the mess they made with the last one. i have been pigging out for some time due to my great aunt being diagnosed with terminal cancer. she's still hanging in there (not sure how to be honest) and i decided a couple of weeks ago that eating myself further into blobdom wasn't actually helping matters at all. so i started slimming world again a couple of weeks ago. second weigh in tomorrow morning. lost a lb and a half last week. will hopefully lose about the same this week. want to lose a wee bit before having another monster anaesthetic. then i'll lose more due to not being able to eat much. and then i'll go back to slimming world after my four weeks recovery or so.

so that's the plan

 

[Taz]

​Hey Abz, so sorry things have been so tough for you. Hopefully the next lot of surgery will go well and you can start on the road to recovery and get back on track. Well done on your loss so far, it's very difficult to get your head into when all is not well and you are in limbo x

 

[Gemstone]

Sorry things have been tough Abz - hope thing get better soon x

 

[abz]

hi guys. sorry i haven't been around. have had my second surgery now. nine days ago in fact. my aunt finally let go today. it was too long in coming and was a real education in what the human body can stand. and it's an education i wish i didn't have to be honest. i have moments of absolute sadness, but on the whole i'm doing ok. she was effectively my mum's mum and we were incredibly close, but she has been gone a while.

other than that i'm living on liquids and the occasional mashed banana due to the huge amount of elastic bands in my mouth. today i had a chocolate milkshake, a mashed banana and some cranberry juice. i feel no hunger at all and have to remind myself to even have that. i am taking a comprehensive multivit. i'm not worried about my lack of intake. it's all part and parcel and let's face it. i have a rather large energy store in tow. so a happy side effect may be a bit of weight loss. here's hoping. it's amazing what you can achieve when you can't actually open your mouth ha.

i hope you are all doing ok.

abz xx

 

[Taz]

​Sorry to hear about your aunt Abz. I hope you recover quickly from this round of surgery and hopefully there will be no more! x

 

[Gemstone]

Sorry you have had such a difficult time both with your aunt and with your jaw - hopefully you are on the up and up now....... with a little weightloss to give you a big boost x

 

[Jim]

Hi Abz, sorry to hear about your Aunt, sometimes the body does hang on to life for too long love. So is this the last surgery then love? I hope so.

 

[abz]

hi everybody.

well it is my aunt's funeral tomorrow. she finally let go on the 13th, having made it (rather impossibly) to her 83rd birthday on the 9th.

I am living on juice (i bought a juicer) for some actual nutrition, and then mush on an evening for dinner. so far so good. i'm under fifteen and a half stones for the first time since before i was pregnant. so, my honeymoon probably, ha. maybe i'll be able to wear my wedding and engagement rings again soon. i only wore them for about three months, ha.

a neighbour of ours offered up a lot of help over the last year whilst we have been going through our various problems, thomas hurting his back, his being rushed to hospital with black outs, my surgeries etc. we were asking a lot of them and i always offered them the option of saying no, and thanked them profusely. always offered to do something to recipricate etc. and i thought we were good friends. then they started pulling away. not coming over. wouldn't answer the phone to my calls. i finally got in touch via text message to find out whether we could make amends for a fight that hadn't taken place only to be told that we wanted more of them than they were willing to give. and their time is precious. and obviously we can't be important enough to spend some time on.

i'm really hurt by this. these are people that for about two years i considered good friends. i am truly saddened that rather than just tell us they couldn't look after izzy, which is what the emergency usually was, that they were busy or having family time, they have decided to reject all contact with us. and they live over the road. my daughter keeps asking to play with theirs and i have no idea what to say to her.

on top of everything else that is going on right now, this has really upset me. i feel like a blood-sucking leech that takes advantage of people and their kindness. and i never wanted to be that person. i certainly never wanted to lose a friend. and now i don't know what to do. whether to be sad to have lost a friend or pleased to have gotten out of a problematic relationship...

 

[helzzz]

Hey hun, you've done nothing wrong. If urns the person I'm thinking of I know she was helping you out lots but at the same time she could have said no. I know you used to do things like offer to get her things when you went shopping etc so it's not like it was all one way.

Don't let it get you down. I used to have a friend who suddenly stopped contact and I didn't even get a reason and know it is not easy. Remember that you have a lot of friends who don't think of you like that.

We all love you. X

 

[abz]

thank you honey. initially we actually did an awful lot for them. made them dinner, gave them lifts, took them shopping etc. then due to our rather disastrous circumstances it swung the other way. and i was aware of it. and i always said they could say no. and they aren't the kind of people that wouldn't if that's what they thought.

i think part of the problem is that we would do anything asked of us to help a friend without thinking twice, and maybe we expect others to be more straight with us. i don't know. but i feel like i am back at school...

btw helen. if you are free one evening feel free to pop over. i can't promise food as cooking for others when i can't eat may be a bit torturous, ha. but i could rustle up something if necessary

 

[helzzz]

This week is horrible cos I'm on duty. Could come over one evening next week maybe, will let u know. X

 

[Taz]

That's awful Abz, I can see why you are upset by it! I too prefer people to be straight and when you are in a situation like yours you need that more than ever. But you and Thomas will be back on your feet again in the not too distant future and they will probably be wanting your generosity again. When they do, just remember how they have treated you and how they have made you feel x

 

[night-owl]

Abz, life is too short for all this. Take the bull by the horns and think of something to clear the air -- a bunch of flowers, bottle of wine or something and a nice card thanking them. I really don't think you could live any other way, always passing their house and Izzy not understanding why she can't play with her friend. Do it for yourself, so you don't carry this bad feeling around. Good luck.

 

[abz]

i have already tried that approach. they obviously don't want anything to do with us. when iz starts at nursery in september and we are all walking down the hill to the school together it's going to be interesting. i've tried being positive, thankful, apologetic, the lot. then i just told them how much it had upset me, and got no response. if you can just give up a friendship in the face of somebody obviously trying to make amends, and if you can offer to help someone during one of the worse times of their life, and then hold it against them afterwards, well then i'm not sure i want to make amends any more to be honest. i'm very sad. but even if we did become friends again, i would never feel able to ask them for a favour, or believe that anything that was said was sincere. so i think it's best that we just don't go there.

i have finally managed to be able to eat. i'm getting a nice curry tonight, not that i'll be able to eat much of it as i now have a teeny stomach, and then tomorrow i'm going to hit juice for two meals a day and mush on an evening again. otherwise i'm going to start gaining weight. because i can't eat most fruit or vegetables i don't feel i can do slimming world properly without caving yet, so i'll stick to what i've been doing. mainly what i can eat is rice and bread, ha. so i need to stop on the bread thing before i huge myself again

hopefully going to denmark in a couple of weeks. and i always gain weight when i'm there. but we'll be going without thomas as he will be going back to work. we are experimenting with me and iz surviving over there on our own to see if we could move there, as t would be working. so it's quite exciting. but i've realised i should contact the surgeon and make sure that i'm allowed to fly post jaw surgery. as i don't know if there's a time limit or anything.

abz xx

 

[Gemstone]

You really are having quite a time of it Abz. Friends shouldn't be like that should they. I can understand a bit of caring fatigue but to cut you off completely is far too harsh and not a comfortable feeling for you - difficult for Izzy too - are they completely heartless! Don't take this to heart - if they were true friends this wouldn't happen - its not your fault. My friend and I have gone through loads together and I'm sure she thinks "Oh not again" every time I need her support but we both know that when the boot is on the other foot the support is there for her too - ALWAYS x

 

[Taz]

I think you have the right attitude with regard to the 'friends'.

 

[abz]

well i've kind of stopped worrying about it now. i still get the odd twinge but i've decided i have far better things to worry about than people that don't want to worry about me. so. the latest is that me and iz are on a danish adventure. thomas may finally be allowed to go back to work in the next couple of weeks. we aren't sure mind. but it does mean that he couldn't come to denmark with us this time.

my great aunt passed away in july and left me a little bit of money. not much, but enough for plane tickets. she went on a grand adventure when she was in her 40s and spent the next 40 years talking about it, ha. so i thought the best way to spend it, rather that it being absorbed into household expenses, was to bring us over here and have me and iz find our own way around rather than being in the background whilst thomas speaks danish.

we repeatedly think about coming over here for a bit. living here. but i am terrified of the isolation i would feel for probably at least six months as i learn the language. so part of this is me and iz finding out how we fare as english-speakers with some broken danish. i haven't even handled danish money really before this trip. or got the bus by myself or anything.

so today is our second day. yesterday i managed to fall off my husband's bike trying to find out if i could ride it. the answer is no. it's far too big, ha. i have bought a seat for izzy that goes in front of mine on the bike, but we need to buy a bike where my feet touch the floor. am quite excited about that. am also planning on walking everywhere where it is possible to rather than getting the bus. we usually eat more and become far more sedentary when we are here. so my plan this time is to make the most of the fact the place is flat and cycle and walk as much as i can

today we went to the new aquarium in copenhagen which was brilliant. impossible to navigate, but fabulous all the same.

i hope all of you are doing well

abz xx

 

[Gemstone]

Loving the "Grand Adventure" - enjoy - your Aunt would be proud of you x

 

[abz]

well we are adventuring away. pics are on facebook

we didn't go anywhere for two days last week, which is shameful. walked miles on the days we did go out. ate ridiculous amounts of crap on the days that we didn't. we did play in the enormous garden and the sandbox but it isn't the same. and i can feel myself expanding. unfortunately my face is giving me some pain and one of my gums has swelled up and keeps catching on my brace, so that's a sod. in denmark you can't even get mouth ulcer stuff without a prescription. the only thing you can get over the counter is antibiotics. so i may end up with my first visit to the doctor's office in another country if it doesn't clear up soon.

looks like the weather may be keeping us in again today... may risk a trip out to the playground though. we'll see

abz xx

 

[Gemstone]

Sounds painful Abz - hope you're having a good time otherwise though x