Alcohol Problem?

I think so many of us are in this situation of having a drink every night to unwind. Wine and other alcohol has never been so cheap and readily available ie, you can buy it at any supermarket at any time of the day.
When I was younger, I'd go out every weekend and get plastered but I never drank at home during the week. Now I'm older, I don't go out and get drunk but I do like a drink at home. Infact recently I thought I was drinking too much, not so much the amount, maybe a couple of glasses of wine a night but more the frequency...every night when I got in from work. I work shifts and I was grateful for a week of lates when I wasn't able to drink and could give my body a rest from it.
2 weeks ago, I decided to abstain for a while. I can't tell you how much better I feel for it....even though I wasn't aware it was affecting me. I am sleeping so much better and I just generally feel well! My skin is really clear too, though that may just be a coincidence. I'm not saying I won't have another drink.....far from it! We are having a party next week and I will definitely be drinking then but I think I am going to abstain again after that until the next social gathering.
One other thing regarding losing weight. When I was drinking, even though I was following the diet foodwise and using my syns for a tipple, I just didn't seem to be able to lose anything. The first week I stopped drinking, I lost 4lbs!!! Go figure!!
I think like the others have said, the mere fact that you are questioning it speaks volumns and even if you think you can lose weight whilst still drinking, maybe you should think of cutting down for health reasons?
 
I work with offenders, people with drug and alcohol problems and mental health issues and if you said what you have on here to an alcohol worker they would more than likely tell you that you have a problem with drink.

The word alcoholic isnt used anymore other than by the AA, but the definition of someone who falls into this category isnt someone who needs a drink every day or who wakes up in the morning and cracks open the vodka, it's someone who is dependant on alcohol, no matter how much or how often they need it. If there is a dependancy there then that pretty much establishes a problem with drink. (Its the same with any drug, I have a heroin user who doesnt use all week and just takes the drug on a saturday night but he cant do without his saturday night fix so he is still addicted to the drug).

I think like some of the others said, the fact that you took the time to look at the AA's website has shown that you do have a concern about whether you are drinking too much. If you did want to consider speaking to someone about how you feel then approach your GP and they will put you in contact with your local drug and alcohol team.

I actually attended yet another course on alcohol the other day and it is shocking what drinking over the limit reccomended for women each day can do to your body and how quickly that limit can be exhausted after just one or two drinks. I dont drink much now, I dont really like the taste now Ive stopped smoking and cant mask the taste of the alcohol with fags, but I dont even want to imagine how much I was drinking when I was younger, I drank like a fish!
 
Thanks -it's useful to know that so many people don't think I'm exagerating it. My OH can't see that it could be a problem unless I 'need a drink every day'. For me it was a real eye opener how difficult / impossible I found it to go to the pub and stick to soft drinks. Mainly because I'd never really tried before and didn't think it'd be that much of a problem. I think it's unlikely my OH will be much use with this as he doesn't think there is a problem (if he did, he'd have to accept he's got one too!!) and believes it's just a case of saying "I won't have so many".
I'm not going to my GP - the nurses and doctors at my surgery always leave me feeling intimidated / a nuisance and I never end up sayig what I'd intended. This isn't like me at all and has happened every time I've been there so far.
You've all been a great help just helping me get the situation straight in my head. Now I just need to get stubborn and sort it out.

Cheers ;o)
 
Very interesting thread, thank you for posting it.
When our eldest son (now 34) was 16, we found he had been drinking, as kids do to experiment. When we found he was stashing empty bottles, I panicked and called the AA.
A very nice man came over and talked to him in private. He told us he felt he was not an alcoholic and left leaflets for us to read and a questionnaire. It turned out he was right, my son is not, hardly drinks now and was covering up after a few friends came over but silly boy only confessed years later.
Anyway, I did the quiz (which is probably similar to the AA site) and went into panic mode as I ticked a lot of the boxes. I thought I was an alcoholic so stopped drinking there and then.
For two years I didn't touch an alcoholic drink. Then came Christmas, and my hubby asked if I was going to have a drink. I told him I was too scared to in case I was an alcoholic. He said, after stopping for two years without having the need should have told me that I was not.
He was right, and since then I have not stopped drinking. I have, sometimes, stopped for a few days or weeks but not stopped totally.
I admit, I work my SW around my drink but don't make it my life, but rather have my tipple than other "naughty" food/drink.
I love wine, but seldom drink it now as it is high in syns. I drink one tot of brandy with a pint of diet coke. 2.5 syns. For me, far more enjoyable than 2 syns for 1 Quality Street choc gone in 2 seconds!
I love a drink when I get home from work.
Yes, it relaxes me because I enjoy it.
I know for my 15 syns, if I do no syns for the day, I can have 6 drinks. During the week I very seldom do. Mostly 2 or 3. Over the weekend I can easily have 6. Sometimes more. However, I don't ever get drunk, and don't want to. I keep a tally of exactly what I drink so I know the syn value.
Perhaps, someone may call this an addiction. Maybe it is. I don't know. If I don't have it, I am ok but I do enjoy so I have it.
I asked my C if it's ok to use syns on alcohol. She said syns are syns and it makes not difference what you have.
I have lost the weight, at the same pace I think if I have my tipple or chocs crisps etc.
Anyway, if you are worried, as others have said, do see your doc and get advise.
If anything it will reassure you, and put you at ease so that you know which way to turn.
Good luck!
 
Sonia - I can tell that you know what I mean! My tipple is whisky, and I'll have (preferably) a 25 ml measure with a can or pint of diet coke. My 2.5 syns last me much longer than it could do with any foods (hmmm - maybe scan bran might be the exception). BUT, I'd still like to be able to have soft drinks without it spoiling the evening!
XX
 
I know what you mean.
You should still have a soft drink and enjoy your evening. I have done that too, but, to be honest I rather save my syns and have one or two tipples when going out.
I don't go out much at all, so when I do I admit to having some, as I enjoy it!
 
I love my wine!But I know that I cannot be trusted where a wine box is concerned! We don't have a social life so drink at home, and it's all too easy to go way over our limit!
 
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I hope you dont mind me nosing in here, your post is so honest and it is good that you are searching for answers, that really only you can answer, my drinking pattern, I thought had been really out of control for quite a few years. I got moody and tetchy sometimes when I couldnt have a drink, I really hated myself for feeling that way, which then started the cycle of self-loathing etc etc etc. I was drinking out of boredom, out of habit, when the stress got too much, I even went to my doctors about a year and a half ago and he asked me did I think I was an alcoholic, and I replied I think I have issues with alcohol, my weight gain with alcohol alone has been tremendous. I had a very stressful job (ironically I was a drug and alcohol advisor for many years) and was the main carer for my mother without really any help from the rest of my family, my mother was constantly in and out of hospital and I was doing a full-time responsible job and then running to the hospital. dealing with doctors etc it was just so much more than I could take emotionally, it was all very intense for many years. I just was looking for a relief from the stress and anxiety. I have cut down quite significantly the last year, and when I decided to join SW it has given me the opportunity to focus on the plan and the need for alcohol has subsided. When I was working I used to say to people, "you know you have a problem if it costs you more than money" Only you know the answer to that, Ive seen that AA website and I would say most people who socialise and go out a few times a week would according to the website be alcohol dependent. I live in a culture of alcohol excess, everyone I know has a drink most nights and they can still function perfectly well within that, there are many levels of dependency and addiction, so you really need to bear that in mind, only you have the answers, but if it is making you unhappy like it did me you need to assess your next moves, I have issues with the word "alcoholic" it is very labelling and puts everyone in the same category, but we are individual and alcohol can have many different effects on many different people. You dont need to do those questionnaires to know the answer. The answers are within you, you need to give yourself a bit of time to find them, and you will. Good luck xx
 
Kat27 said:
I work with offenders, people with drug and alcohol problems and mental health issues and if you said what you have on here to an alcohol worker they would more than likely tell you that you have a problem with drink.

The word alcoholic isnt used anymore other than by the AA, but the definition of someone who falls into this category isnt someone who needs a drink every day or who wakes up in the morning and cracks open the vodka, it's someone who is dependant on alcohol, no matter how much or how often they need it. If there is a dependancy there then that pretty much establishes a problem with drink. (Its the same with any drug, I have a heroin user who doesnt use all week and just takes the drug on a saturday night but he cant do without his saturday night fix so he is still addicted to the drug).

I think like some of the others said, the fact that you took the time to look at the AA's website has shown that you do have a concern about whether you are drinking too much. If you did want to consider speaking to someone about how you feel then approach your GP and they will put you in contact with your local drug and alcohol team.

I actually attended yet another course on alcohol the other day and it is shocking what drinking over the limit reccomended for women each day can do to your body and how quickly that limit can be exhausted after just one or two drinks. I dont drink much now, I dont really like the taste now Ive stopped smoking and cant mask the taste of the alcohol with fags, but I dont even want to imagine how much I was drinking when I was younger, I drank like a fish!
Click to expand...

Hi :)

Got to totally agree with Kat here as I also work professionally with people who have drug & alcohol issues. Dependency can mean many things and is very much based on how problematic a drug (and I include alcohol here) has become to the person and the impact on their daily life.

I have also had several heroin, crack cocaine and alcohol clients who have only chosen these drugs at weekends.

AA is an excellent approach and works for some people and not for others, in my experience.
I guess it depends on whether you are aiming at total abstinence from alcohol as AA advocate or whether you are wanting to reduce your intake and be more of a controlled drinker and as Kat says, your local drug & alcohol agency can support you with either of these ideas and work with you to achieve the goal that YOU want.

Best wishes and if I can help in any way away from the open forum, please feel free to PM me,

Isis x :)
 
mistyme said:
I hope you dont mind me nosing in here, your post is so honest and it is good that you are searching for answers, that really only you can answer, my drinking pattern, I thought had been really out of control for quite a few years. I got moody and tetchy sometimes when I couldnt have a drink, I really hated myself for feeling that way, which then started the cycle of self-loathing etc etc etc. I was drinking out of boredom, out of habit, when the stress got too much, I even went to my doctors about a year and a half ago and he asked me did I think I was an alcoholic, and I replied I think I have issues with alcohol, my weight gain with alcohol alone has been tremendous. I had a very stressful job (ironically I was a drug and alcohol advisor for many years) and was the main carer for my mother without really any help from the rest of my family, my mother was constantly in and out of hospital and I was doing a full-time responsible job and then running to the hospital. dealing with doctors etc it was just so much more than I could take emotionally, it was all very intense for many years. I just was looking for a relief from the stress and anxiety. I have cut down quite significantly the last year, and when I decided to join SW it has given me the opportunity to focus on the plan and the need for alcohol has subsided. When I was working I used to say to people, "you know you have a problem if it costs you more than money" Only you know the answer to that, Ive seen that AA website and I would say most people who socialise and go out a few times a week would according to the website be alcohol dependent. I live in a culture of alcohol excess, everyone I know has a drink most nights and they can still function perfectly well within that, there are many levels of dependency and addiction, so you really need to bear that in mind, only you have the answers, but if it is making you unhappy like it did me you need to assess your next moves, I have issues with the word "alcoholic" it is very labelling and puts everyone in the same category, but we are individual and alcohol can have many different effects on many different people. You dont need to do those questionnaires to know the answer. The answers are within you, you need to give yourself a bit of time to find them, and you will. Good luck xx
Click to expand...

Great post Mistyme, thank you :):):)
 
Thanks again for all you responses. It just shows...
(1) How valuable this site is for support of all sorts
(2) Quite how much influence alcohol (and drugs) has on the daily lives of people from all walks of life.

I think that my OH was very right last night when he pointed out that I was probably just freaked out at the idea that I wasn't completely in control, and being a pain in the arse control freak, that'll probably be enough to make me sort it out.

Hmmm. I hope that his faith in my ability to just 'sort it out' proves correct!

Anyway - feeling much more positive today. Going to make soup!
 
Lucky7 said:
Thanks again for all you responses. It just shows...
(1) How valuable this site is for support of all sorts
(2) Quite how much influence alcohol (and drugs) has on the daily lives of people from all walks of life.

I think that my OH was very right last night when he pointed out that I was probably just freaked out at the idea that I wasn't completely in control, and being a pain in the arse control freak, that'll probably be enough to make me sort it out.

Hmmm. I hope that his faith in my ability to just 'sort it out' proves correct!

Anyway - feeling much more positive today. Going to make soup!
Click to expand...


Haha - I think THIS just goes to show how you believe what you want to, (or I do), and how brilliantly self-deceptive the average alcoholic generally is.

Just a quick update. I gave up alcohol 'For Lent' on 5th March 2014. In my heart I was hoping for it to be longer term, but know that I would not gain the support of my partner and drinking friends by saying that, so I lied. (Yes. Another lie). After 3 weeks I realised that I did need some help, and managed to finally get myself to an AA meeting (only took 4 and a half years for your words of wisdom to sink in). Anyway. I will be 6 months sober on Friday and intend to treat myself to something delicious and alcohol (if not syn) free.

Since starting my AA / sober journey I have moved house, so am not regularly mixing with my old drinking friends. I have made a lot of new friends though, through AA and the church I started to attend when I moved. I think that I am also ready to become more 'involved' in my work place (slowly slowly). Obviusly, the new friends aren't close friends, but I'm happy to take things more slowly in general now. I have also realised how distructive I was of some old friendships in the past and have made some apologies and mended some old damaged friendships which I would never have done if I was still drinking.

My favourite place to go is a monthly Rock n Roll event which I can drive to (out in the sticks) because I'm not drinking. They've always got a MASSIVE selection of syn-free soft drinks, and a live band and DJ's worth dancing to. I would never have gone there when I was drinking as it would have been a logistical nightmare to do so.

Anyway - a belated thanks to those people who took time to give advise. It didn't fall on completely deaf ears. It just took a while.
 
Glad you saw it Lentil2 :)
 
It's great that you came back to update us hun. I really admire you for doing something about your problem - it can't be easy. I hope your partner is supportive of you. And well done for mending those old friendships - I bet it means a lot to those concerned. (((hugs)))
 
Lucky7 said:
Haha - I think THIS just goes to show how you believe what you want to, (or I do), and how brilliantly self-deceptive the average alcoholic generally is.

Just a quick update. I gave up alcohol 'For Lent' on 5th March 2014. In my heart I was hoping for it to be longer term, but know that I would not gain the support of my partner and drinking friends by saying that, so I lied. (Yes. Another lie). After 3 weeks I realised that I did need some help, and managed to finally get myself to an AA meeting (only took 4 and a half years for your words of wisdom to sink in). Anyway. I will be 6 months sober on Friday and intend to treat myself to something delicious and alcohol (if not syn) free.

Since starting my AA / sober journey I have moved house, so am not regularly mixing with my old drinking friends. I have made a lot of new friends though, through AA and the church I started to attend when I moved. I think that I am also ready to become more 'involved' in my work place (slowly slowly). Obviusly, the new friends aren't close friends, but I'm happy to take things more slowly in general now. I have also realised how distructive I was of some old friendships in the past and have made some apologies and mended some old damaged friendships which I would never have done if I was still drinking.

My favourite place to go is a monthly Rock n Roll event which I can drive to (out in the sticks) because I'm not drinking. They've always got a MASSIVE selection of syn-free soft drinks, and a live band and DJ's worth dancing to. I would never have gone there when I was drinking as it would have been a logistical nightmare to do so.

Anyway - a belated thanks to those people who took time to give advise. It didn't fall on completely deaf ears. It just took a while.
Click to expand...

Many thanks for sharing this. Very well done on 6 months sober. I relate to so much in your post.
 
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