ProPoints Azwethinkweiz (Sarah)s new food diary!

[Wishbird007]

Hi hun, soz u bin ill hun. Hope u better today.

Is it bak to work today, let us know how u get in, u will b fine am sure, I think ur stronger than u think darlin xx

 

[*Sparkles*]

Good luck for today xx

 

[Baby-belle]

Let us know how you get on, also do you have an iPhone of you try this app by Andrew Johnson called don't panic it's like a relaxation thing I feel good after it

 

[Dubchick81]

Good luck today hunnie.. Hope its not too stressful a day for you... Mail r text me if ya need to.. xx

 

[MrsLmc]

Hope that your first day back at work wasn't as bad as expected. I think Liz is right, you are stronger than you think x

 

[azwethinkweiz]

The day was pretty confusing. I hated being at work again. I found it very hard to concentrate on what I was trying to do and then getting upset with myself because it was taking so long. Sean talked to me over IM twice, it was just chit chat but every so often he said things like I was looking attractive and I looked like I'd lost weight and that he thinks I'm great and so on... Quite confusing. I'm trying to be polite but I'm not reciprocating the things he's saying to me. He looks like he's lost weight too actually.
I'm going in tomorrow and wednesday as well. A guy at work asked me to the movies but I declined. He got me a birthday card, chocolates and dvds. Was nice of him.
Didn't eat much all day with nerves but had a big dinner at home, my mum made me curry & had birthday cake. I'm busted from eating so much now
Hope everyone is well. X

Sent from my Galaxy S using MiniMins

 

[Dubchick81]

The day was pretty confusing. I hated being at work again. I found it very hard to concentrate on what I was trying to do and then getting upset with myself because it was taking so long. Sean talked to me over IM twice, it was just chit chat but every so often he said things like I was looking attractive and I looked like I'd lost weight and that he thinks I'm great and so on... Quite confusing. I'm trying to be polite but I'm not reciprocating the things he's saying to me. He looks like he's lost weight too actually.
I'm going in tomorrow and wednesday as well. A guy at work asked me to the movies but I declined. He got me a birthday card, chocolates and dvds. Was nice of him.
Didn't eat much all day with nerves but had a big dinner at home, my mum made me curry & had birthday cake. I'm busted from eating so much now
Hope everyone is well. X

Sent from my Galaxy S using MiniMins

Hey hunnie... Doesn't sound like it was too bad.. Don't get annoyed at yerself.. Take it a day at a time and it'll come back to ya in time.. Don't leave things to pile up too much before speaking to yer boss tho.. Coz that'll only cause you more stress...
Sean is actually making my blood boil!! Oh no Sarah's coming back to work.. i'll sweeten her up n it'll b fine!!! grrrrrrrrr.... SLAP in the head for him...
Really nice of the other guy to get u a card n pressies too... Good idea to decline tho.. I think u need to learn like yerself, then luv yerself before you let someone else in.. Really flattering tho.. Hope ur realising how attractive u are... even a little.. that's 2 blokes in 2 weeks.. And sean is tryna creep back in...

 

[azwethinkweiz]

Hey hunnie... Doesn't sound like it was too bad.. Don't get annoyed at yerself.. Take it a day at a time and it'll come back to ya in time.. Don't leave things to pile up too much before speaking to yer boss tho.. Coz that'll only cause you more stress...
Sean is actually making my blood boil!! Oh no Sarah's coming back to work.. i'll sweeten her up n it'll b fine!!! grrrrrrrrr.... SLAP in the head for him...
Really nice of the other guy to get u a card n pressies too... Good idea to decline tho.. I think u need to learn like yerself, then luv yerself before you let someone else in.. Really flattering tho.. Hope ur realising how attractive u are... even a little.. that's 2 blokes in 2 weeks.. And sean is tryna creep back in...

I'm trying my best with the work but it will undoubtedly pile up if I keep going this slow with it.
Lol sorry hon, didn't mean to make your blood boil. He was perfectly polite other than that. And I was glad he made some contact instead of ignoring me entirely. He had left my stuff from his house under my desk though which I thought was a wimpy move. Anyways, he can give all the compliments he wants and I'll just say "thanks" and let him see what he's miss out on.
Unfortunately I still have that niggle that I'll never meet anyone else either. I'm not very social you see, I don't go out drinking or anything so can't imagine where I ever would meet a guy when I am ready to be in a relationship again.
The 2 guys are guys I've NO interest in, they tried it on before I was with Sean as well. Never gonna happen lol. Neither are my type of guy (in fact I'd be better off with Sean than with either of them).

I'm not attractive. The guys asking me out are (god love them) pretty desperate. And Sean... I dunno what his deal is yet. Watch this space lol. If he tries anything I will be telling him I want to be on my own though.

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[Jaly]

Oh rubbish! You are gorgeous! x And anyone, any man worthy of you should be able to look past your outside (not sure why they'd want to ) and see a beautiful, intelligent, compassionate lady with so much to give! I can't even begin to imagine how difficult it must be for you but keep your head up, you're more amazing than you realise! Your ex damaged your self-esteem and isn't worth you, the damage he caused you will heal over time and you don't need a man to heal those wounds - you've got us! *hugs* - it must be so hard having such an unsupporting family as well but you can do it Believe in yourself, we believe in you! I'm sorry to hear about your rubbish day at work, but you'll get back into the swing of things, it just takes a while don't be frustrated or upset with yourself, you don't realise how hard it's been for you and there's no need to be your own enemy if that makes sense. Here for you every step of the way, Sarah!

I guess i should introduce myself on a first name basis too

- Libby x (short for Olivia but I hate that, so!) - Jaly is just fine also

 

[azwethinkweiz]

Oh rubbish! You are gorgeous! x And anyone, any man worthy of you should be able to look past your outside (not sure why they'd want to ) and see a beautiful, intelligent, compassionate lady with so much to give! I can't even begin to imagine how difficult it must be for you but keep your head up, you're more amazing than you realise! Your ex damaged your self-esteem and isn't worth you, the damage he caused you will heal over time and you don't need a man to heal those wounds - you've got us! *hugs* - it must be so hard having such an unsupporting family as well but you can do it Believe in yourself, we believe in you! I'm sorry to hear about your rubbish day at work, but you'll get back into the swing of things, it just takes a while don't be frustrated or upset with yourself, you don't realise how hard it's been for you and there's no need to be your own enemy if that makes sense. Here for you every step of the way, Sarah!

I guess i should introduce myself on a first name basis too

- Libby x (short for Olivia but I hate that, so!) - Jaly is just fine also

I don't think I'll meet anyone who'll look past and see anything because inside is all rotten and broken now I wanna fix it!!
I honestly dunno how to deal with the ex. I will try my best to stay nice and civil (no more arguing). I'm willing to be friends in the future (I am friendly with my previous ex still) but I don't see a romantic future... That thought still makes me very sad and I'm still morning the relationship being over.
It is very lonely right now. Everyone who is "there" for me has a partner of their own. I don't have any friends in work, my ex was my friend in work.
I'm just glad I only have 2 more days at work this week because today made me very sad about things & makes me think bad things about myself again (the self bullying returns with a vengeance).

Hi Libby Thanks for being kind xx

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[Dubchick81]

U are a stunning girl on the outside.. And ya kno... It doesn't scratch on the beauty thats inside.. And OK the guys that have asked you out aren't ur type.. But its proof that u are attractive and its a lift..
Yup VERY wimpy of him to leave the stuff under yer desk.. Again proving that he's a boy.. No 30 year old man should be behaving as he is.. I thought he couldn't have sank lower after how he ended your relationship... He may as well have had it couriered.. coward!! But ur doing right.. Being polite and gracious will make him see exactly how immature he's been and see exactly what he lost..
It will get easier hun.. And if going in to that particular job gets too much, contact a recruitment agency and move on.. Money and perks where u are aren't great anyway you've said so can't be too hard to replace it... And it may make things easier to not have Sean there on a daily basis.. Especially for now as its still very raw...

 

[CarlyLanky140]

1. U are a gorgeous girl and are lovely too
2. U can do better than Sean! FACT!
3. U will get back into work - just take it slow!

Much love x

 

[azwethinkweiz]

Yeah so Sean told me he's still in love with me today. What a mess. I just shook my head at him & told him he's the one who decided it was over. And that he left me at one of the hardest times of my life & I never heard from him again till recently. Basically said I'd already given up on him long ago. I think he can't stand having me back in the office. I do feel a bit bad for him as he was very sweet & quite sincere but I just need to be by myself right now. No men allowed lol! Its a difficult situation though. He's not eating or anything at the moment. Think the guilt has set in.

Diet this week is on and off. I have days where I don't eat much and days where I eat a lot so not sure what'll happen at WI. Not expecting much. Going to work is hard and I've no energy in the evenings after the hour drive home

Hope everyone is having a good week so far xx

Sent from my Galaxy S using MiniMins

 

[CarlyLanky140]

Well done for telling him straight and pointing out that he left u at a hard time! U are so strong!! X

 

[azwethinkweiz]

Well done for telling him straight and pointing out that he left u at a hard time! U are so strong!! X

Too right. It's not as easy as "I love you" for me to forget the last few difficult months. I still have a lot of love for him but he hurt me terribly & right now I gotta focus on myself.

I've been making sure to do my hair and make up properly for work so I don't look half dead aswell lol! x

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[Dubchick81]

Sarah babe I am super proud if u. Well done. That is SO hard to do. Well done for puttin u first n not takin the easy option. Biggest hugs for u.

 

[azwethinkweiz]

Sarah babe I am super proud if u. Well done. That is SO hard to do. Well done for puttin u first n not takin the easy option. Biggest hugs for u.

It's pretty hard. It's like there's someone else inside me who wants to just snuggle up with him and pretend it never happened. Unbelievable. But I have to think of me. I'm willing to remain friends (we have to work together and it'll be very hard otherwise). But I gotta concentrate on getting well and hopefully getting to do my CBT. xx

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[Dubchick81]

It's pretty hard. It's like there's someone else inside me who wants to just snuggle up with him and pretend it never happened. Unbelievable. But I have to think of me. I'm willing to remain friends (we have to work together and it'll be very hard otherwise). But I gotta concentrate on getting well and hopefully getting to do my CBT. xx

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I kno hun. It's so hard. Be really proud of u for doin the right thing for YOU...
I get the whole staying friends thing too. I'm on good terms with all of my ex's.

 

[CarlyLanky140]

Well done u x

 

[azwethinkweiz]

See some people say I shouldn't even be friends with him. But that'd be a very awkward situation with us working together and everything. Staying JUST friends is also hard because we work together LOL. I'm trying my best though. I feel bad for him but gotta be a bit selfish for a while!

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