Belle's Journey
- Thread starter bellefrogette
- Start date
bellefrogette
Silver Member
Hi Mel, I am fine, but looking forward to 3 days of stillness here, I have done all my shopping and then the long flight back to London, I feel I'll be able to kick start even more strongly back home in my own kitchen ( no tempting ice cream palors just down the road) and where i can over feed the neighbours cat and i even miss my gym and the oddballs there.
bellefrogette
Silver Member
Ok time to return to answering workbook questions, as a minimum i want to answer these last two before I return from hols.
bellefrogette
Silver Member
6. What have you always believed you will have if you finally
lose the weight? What power have you given away to being thin?
I thought this would be a long complicated answer, but this morning as I look at this the one thing I have given away above all others and which affects all others is peace of mind .
I feel I lost a degree of peace of mind the moment I decided I was over weight in my teens and over the years with the up down and round and around the portion of my mind that has been involved and chaotic around this matter has simply grown in size. Actually times when I have given up have in a curious way been the most relaxing at a minimum, not so crazy making.
So the power I have given away is the power to have peace of mind and that deep deep lake like stillness, that inner solitude of the mind. I gave up this precious state of being as something I can and will have when I am slim. --and its not even true
lose the weight? What power have you given away to being thin?
I thought this would be a long complicated answer, but this morning as I look at this the one thing I have given away above all others and which affects all others is peace of mind .
I feel I lost a degree of peace of mind the moment I decided I was over weight in my teens and over the years with the up down and round and around the portion of my mind that has been involved and chaotic around this matter has simply grown in size. Actually times when I have given up have in a curious way been the most relaxing at a minimum, not so crazy making.
So the power I have given away is the power to have peace of mind and that deep deep lake like stillness, that inner solitude of the mind. I gave up this precious state of being as something I can and will have when I am slim. --and its not even true
bellefrogette
Silver Member
7. If you had to define what is sacred or holy in your life, what would that be? What
do you cherish most of all?
peace of mind.
Can you remember a time when you just the way you are, regardless
of your size, was enough?.
No.
it must have existed, but it must have been when I was very young...pre verbal cos god knows there was always something and somebody willing to tell me there was something about me and my body that did not work or was wrong and unacceptable and paradoxically i have never got away from my body, not just size, so many things that meant it was difficult to feel at home in my body and thus in myself..
geneen roth talks about stopping the war with the body around fat... but i was thrown into a war with my body well before I put on weight by the small mindedness, ignorance, meanness and hatreds of others, their petty undeveloped and ugly insides...they were the ugly ones, ugly through and through with their attitudes...mindsets..beliefs..
so there was a time I was like this
and that was a good time, full of wonder and enoughness and uber cuteness..and I can have that again, now.In truth I kinda never really lost it, but sometimes, most of the time I forget.
do you cherish most of all?
peace of mind.
Can you remember a time when you just the way you are, regardless
of your size, was enough?.
No.
it must have existed, but it must have been when I was very young...pre verbal cos god knows there was always something and somebody willing to tell me there was something about me and my body that did not work or was wrong and unacceptable and paradoxically i have never got away from my body, not just size, so many things that meant it was difficult to feel at home in my body and thus in myself..
geneen roth talks about stopping the war with the body around fat... but i was thrown into a war with my body well before I put on weight by the small mindedness, ignorance, meanness and hatreds of others, their petty undeveloped and ugly insides...they were the ugly ones, ugly through and through with their attitudes...mindsets..beliefs..
so there was a time I was like this
and that was a good time, full of wonder and enoughness and uber cuteness..and I can have that again, now.In truth I kinda never really lost it, but sometimes, most of the time I forget.
bellefrogette
Silver Member
Hi Mel, yes I really want to do all the geneen roth workbook questions from women food and god..and then I have marriane williamson's 21 spiritual lesson and that has a workbook format as well. At this stage i prefer to look at questions and use them to tease out my truth rather than ccept anyone else's dogma or teachings. It's a slow steady introspective process. I tried to do similar questions long hand in my journal , but I do not keep it up. But on minimins answering them feels a natural part of my flow.
Ok time to get ready to fly soon. The 10 hour flight..sigh...hope they have good movies.
Bella
bellefrogette
Silver Member
/13its good to be home,though the flat is very musty, no sign of the cat, and I have not unpacked.But what I have had is a great holiday away, some gain- not freakin me out though and now I am settled, home and focussed..and I am back tomy routine of waking up in the early a.m
Bella
bellefrogette
Silver Member
/12I am listening to an audio of Geneen Roth in the background ' emotional eating' good stuff and in one of the tools on 'inventory' she speaks of writing from the place of ‘don't know’ and that often times women have not paid enough attention to the longing that resides within and which expresses as emotional eating.
Well that was what oprah would call a light bulb moment, because I usually associate emotional eating with all the psychological stuff that has happened, but my longings and deeply held passions unexpressed have a much greater charge than anything that happened to me in my childhood or at the gym now when he left me or when I left him or mean folk or my despair at times regarding the state of world politics or that there are still places where children do not have clean drinking water. All stuff which pisses me off.
What I want need and hunger for most is to be and express my Self as the fabulous freak that I am.
Now I am not sure what that means. But I was listening to a prosperity day seminar-taking place in New York yesterday and one of the workshops was on vision boards. Sometimes the boards begin with images and others begin with a word and images around them.
I have decided that stuff I do not want I am selling on eBay and the money I make via this I am using for beauty and health related groupons! I love groupons; my last purchase was a set of 6 dermabraison sessions.
MinnieMel
Why Be Normal?
Hi Bel,
That sounds like a good plan -- turning stuff you do not want into something you do. I am big on giving consumable items as gifts... we all have too much clutter.
Note: Be sure to check with the doctor about how the dermabrasion affects darker complexions. Ask to be shown for before and after photos. My aunt had it done in the 1970s (so I know it has improved since then) -- and the healing process back then was dreadful (she wore a hat with a veil). She is very fair, but a friend of hers who was darker was told that she could be left with an uneven skin tone from the process. So, do your homework before having anything done.
I think I may do the same.. turn stuff I need to get rid of into something to "pamper" me. I love SPA DAYS. I am thinking of booking myself one, asap. Even if I go alone (none of my friends seem to want to spend the money or be seen a swim suit).
What is a "groupon"?
Mel
That sounds like a good plan -- turning stuff you do not want into something you do. I am big on giving consumable items as gifts... we all have too much clutter.
Note: Be sure to check with the doctor about how the dermabrasion affects darker complexions. Ask to be shown for before and after photos. My aunt had it done in the 1970s (so I know it has improved since then) -- and the healing process back then was dreadful (she wore a hat with a veil). She is very fair, but a friend of hers who was darker was told that she could be left with an uneven skin tone from the process. So, do your homework before having anything done.
I think I may do the same.. turn stuff I need to get rid of into something to "pamper" me. I love SPA DAYS. I am thinking of booking myself one, asap. Even if I go alone (none of my friends seem to want to spend the money or be seen a swim suit).
What is a "groupon"?
Mel
bellefrogette
Silver Member
Chapter 3: Never Underestimate the Inclination to Bolt
1. The title of Chapter 3 is based on the writing of Buddhist teacher Pema Chodron. Author Geneen Roth begins the chapter recounting the story of feeling out of her mind and trapped at a meditation retreat in the middle of the desert in Joshua Tree National Park. What situations and feelings in your life have you tried desperately to escape?
2. On page 37, Geneen describes compulsive eating as "a way that we leave ourselves when life gets hard. When we don't want to notice what's going on. It's a way to distance ourselves from the way things are when they are not how we want them to be." How do you use food as a way to bolt from yourself and your life? What is the story you tell yourself about why you do this? What do you think would happen if you didn't bolt? (That's the story!)
3. Geneen writes that "weight loss is the easy part because anytime you truly listen to your hunger and fullness, you lose weight." But ending the obsession with food is all about the capacity to stay in the present moment. You don't have to make a choice between the two. What do you think it will feel like to live your life in the present moment? Take a few moments to imagine yourself free of both the obsession with food and the many ways you diminish your experience by leaving yourself.
Count the number of times today that you bolt from your experience, your feelings, your life. When you get to 100, start again at the number 1!
4. If, as Geneen writes on page 37, "compulsive eaters have anorexia of the soul" because we refuse to take in what sustains us, ask yourself what you are really depriving yourself of in your live. Look around you right now. What do you see that you have not been seeing? A color? A person's face? An object you've walked past many times but not really stopped to "take in." Take a moment now and let yourself take in something you find beautiful. Notice how that impacts you.
5. There are many ways to bolt. Blaming someone else for your feelings, getting into a fight, comparing yourself to someone else, dreaming about life in the future, regretting or resenting the past. Eating. Drinking. Surfing the Internet. Take a moment to think about the many ways you run from uncomfortable situations, circumstances, people and feelings in your life. What do you think you've gained from doing this? What do you think you've lost?
6. On page 40, Geneen writes that "obsession is a way of organizing your life so that you never have to deal with the hard part—the part that happens between two years old and dying. But the glitch in living life this way is that it is not a life lived in the present moment because the pain you are avoiding has already happened. You are living your life in reverse."
In your life, what are you afraid will happen that you won't be able to handle? Has it already happened? Do you believe your relationship with food helps you tolerate events in your life you don't feel you have the resilience to withstand? Is that actually true? Ask yourself if those events are still affecting you after you eat.
7. When you don't use food to shut yourself down or to leave your body, you'll feel more alive. Just for this moment—here, now—feel what you feel. Feel what is going on in your legs, your arms, your chest. Be specific. Notice particular sensations and if they are cool or warm, pulsing or vibrating. How does feeling what is here differ from what you thought was here? When you sense yourself directly, immediately, right now, without preconception, who are you?
8. On page 44, Geneen recounts spiritual teacher Stephen Levine saying that "hell is wanting to be somewhere different from where you are. Being one place and wanting to be somewhere else. Being constantly agitated or nonaccepting about the inevitable." Do you want your life to be different from what it is? Consider the possibility that you leave yourself because you believe you will be left, and so you want to "get there" first. You want to protect yourself from the pain you imagine would happen if you were left. (In this case, being left can mean being hurt, being rejected, being disappointed, being sad. It can mean any time you are left with your own uncomfortable feelings). Is it possible you are living in your own self-created hell?
9. On page 47, Geneen writes that "to stay, you have to believe there is something worth staying for—and then you have to bring yourself back, again and again. The initial glimpse of wonder…becomes a commitment to bringing yourself back each time you bolt." What do you believe is worth staying for? Can you make a commitment to bring yourself back over and over? Are you willing to start now?
10.Your Personal Space
1. The title of Chapter 3 is based on the writing of Buddhist teacher Pema Chodron. Author Geneen Roth begins the chapter recounting the story of feeling out of her mind and trapped at a meditation retreat in the middle of the desert in Joshua Tree National Park. What situations and feelings in your life have you tried desperately to escape?
2. On page 37, Geneen describes compulsive eating as "a way that we leave ourselves when life gets hard. When we don't want to notice what's going on. It's a way to distance ourselves from the way things are when they are not how we want them to be." How do you use food as a way to bolt from yourself and your life? What is the story you tell yourself about why you do this? What do you think would happen if you didn't bolt? (That's the story!)
3. Geneen writes that "weight loss is the easy part because anytime you truly listen to your hunger and fullness, you lose weight." But ending the obsession with food is all about the capacity to stay in the present moment. You don't have to make a choice between the two. What do you think it will feel like to live your life in the present moment? Take a few moments to imagine yourself free of both the obsession with food and the many ways you diminish your experience by leaving yourself.
Count the number of times today that you bolt from your experience, your feelings, your life. When you get to 100, start again at the number 1!
4. If, as Geneen writes on page 37, "compulsive eaters have anorexia of the soul" because we refuse to take in what sustains us, ask yourself what you are really depriving yourself of in your live. Look around you right now. What do you see that you have not been seeing? A color? A person's face? An object you've walked past many times but not really stopped to "take in." Take a moment now and let yourself take in something you find beautiful. Notice how that impacts you.
5. There are many ways to bolt. Blaming someone else for your feelings, getting into a fight, comparing yourself to someone else, dreaming about life in the future, regretting or resenting the past. Eating. Drinking. Surfing the Internet. Take a moment to think about the many ways you run from uncomfortable situations, circumstances, people and feelings in your life. What do you think you've gained from doing this? What do you think you've lost?
6. On page 40, Geneen writes that "obsession is a way of organizing your life so that you never have to deal with the hard part—the part that happens between two years old and dying. But the glitch in living life this way is that it is not a life lived in the present moment because the pain you are avoiding has already happened. You are living your life in reverse."
In your life, what are you afraid will happen that you won't be able to handle? Has it already happened? Do you believe your relationship with food helps you tolerate events in your life you don't feel you have the resilience to withstand? Is that actually true? Ask yourself if those events are still affecting you after you eat.
7. When you don't use food to shut yourself down or to leave your body, you'll feel more alive. Just for this moment—here, now—feel what you feel. Feel what is going on in your legs, your arms, your chest. Be specific. Notice particular sensations and if they are cool or warm, pulsing or vibrating. How does feeling what is here differ from what you thought was here? When you sense yourself directly, immediately, right now, without preconception, who are you?
8. On page 44, Geneen recounts spiritual teacher Stephen Levine saying that "hell is wanting to be somewhere different from where you are. Being one place and wanting to be somewhere else. Being constantly agitated or nonaccepting about the inevitable." Do you want your life to be different from what it is? Consider the possibility that you leave yourself because you believe you will be left, and so you want to "get there" first. You want to protect yourself from the pain you imagine would happen if you were left. (In this case, being left can mean being hurt, being rejected, being disappointed, being sad. It can mean any time you are left with your own uncomfortable feelings). Is it possible you are living in your own self-created hell?
9. On page 47, Geneen writes that "to stay, you have to believe there is something worth staying for—and then you have to bring yourself back, again and again. The initial glimpse of wonder…becomes a commitment to bringing yourself back each time you bolt." What do you believe is worth staying for? Can you make a commitment to bring yourself back over and over? Are you willing to start now?
10.Your Personal Space
bellefrogette
Silver Member
Last edited:
bellefrogette
Silver Member
a few multi vitamins if need be .
Last edited:
bellefrogette
Silver Member
Ok I had a 'muffin' with some coffee, chewy, not that sweet, but as a change it was brilliant.
MinnieMel
Why Be Normal?
Hi Bel,
On the "over all self-improvement front" -- I have quite a collection of whitening strips and things for my teeth (as a coffee drinker they aren't so bright and shiny)... I finally started using them (today). the package says, "Noticable difference in three days!"
So, I am going to give it go -- and see.
Mel
On the "over all self-improvement front" -- I have quite a collection of whitening strips and things for my teeth (as a coffee drinker they aren't so bright and shiny)... I finally started using them (today). the package says, "Noticable difference in three days!"
So, I am going to give it go -- and see.
Mel
bellefrogette
Silver Member
1.
back to the well again
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