Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary
- Thread starter FatFairNForty(ish)
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jane
Opinionated
Wow
Not satisfied with losing 10stone you also pack an entire weekend with events.
Interesting ow PMQ..no that's not right PQM aks you out only after you've become a bit unobtainable/uninterested.
Really glad you & S are still warm (rather than cool)
great you had sucha god time with the girls.
can you have a second day off?..cos I reckon you could do with it.
Not satisfied with losing 10stone you also pack an entire weekend with events.
Interesting ow PMQ..no that's not right PQM aks you out only after you've become a bit unobtainable/uninterested.
Really glad you & S are still warm (rather than cool)
great you had sucha god time with the girls.
can you have a second day off?..cos I reckon you could do with it.
belfastsunshine
Member
Oh my goodness you must be so proud of yourself I
feel so determined to achieve the same goals as yourself. Well done hopefully 6 months later I will be
writing happy stories about my weight loss. xxxx
feel so determined to achieve the same goals as yourself. Well done hopefully 6 months later I will be
writing happy stories about my weight loss. xxxx
FatFairNForty(ish)
Gold Member
Great news hun and another good loss too.... you really are a superstar - like I said in my text you've lost 'a Karen'....LOL!!
Pics are fab and what is really lovely is to see that you are all wearing lovely colours not black.....
I'm especially loving your red top - that may have to wing it's way to Cov when it's too big for you....
Chat when your back from hols as Im going first thing Wed morning and then I think I'm back the day you go.....
Have a fab time, lots of sun, fun, rest and meet a nice local boy.......
Love
now you KNOW that last comment is SO not gonna happen! and as for the red top - it will be way too big for you by the time we get together!! Muppet! lol Have a fabulous holiday, can't wait to hear all about it when we are both back here!!
FatFairNForty(ish)
Gold Member
thanks Karen, I had to take my boots off to get there though, lol, they weighed over 2lbs!!! So in future, barefoot weigh ins only,.. lol
Cheers re S too , it's not easy but worth the effort methinks
FatFairNForty(ish)
Gold Member
Thanks Jane - I'm taking today off and tomorrow too (called in sick to both jobs and will go in tomorrow morning but not afternoon). I look as rough as a bag of spanners still today and at nurse's this morning she said as much., LOL... I woke up a bit earlier than yesterday but went back to sleep! I still feel tired out.. thought 2 good nights kip would've been enough! I've cried off aquafit tonight as I really don't have the energy.. feel mean though as Trudy was looking forward to it and I do, after all, have a brand new cozzie too!
I thought it was odd that PQM should ask now too, but it was a weird kind of thing as we were leaving and he was drunk so perhaps he didn't really mean it in any case, lol or he may just feel safe now..
Things with S are ok... he rang last night... and again this morning. Although this morning was quite brief and not heard since but it's a heavy day for him and I don't feel all that cheery as got a slightly raised temp and feel ikky.
Lots more to say and will do in a while - off for another kip in front of telly now. (lazy mare!) although have sorted out loads of stuff (will share later) and got new phone working (thanks to Zoe) and been to see nurse and hung washing out... and going to ask neighbour to print out a couple of things for me now..
catch up later xxxxx
FatFairNForty(ish)
Gold Member
Decided not to go in to either job tomorrow as still look rough as .... :sick:texted S to let him know am at home and 'resting' as feeling pants... bless him he rang me!! That was a shock as I thought he was terribly busy today... nice though.. and he says I've to text later when feeling a bit brighter and he'll call me.
I also did some thinking (I know, dangerous stuff!) and decided not to meet PQm tomorrow evening.:ignore:
I don't know where or if anything will happen with S but I simply can't risk it on a whim to have a drink with PQM, who, let's face it, has had 5 months worth of opportunity to ask me out and has only done so now he thinks I have someone!!
So... I sent a brief email to PQM saying I wasn't well
(which is true) and sorry but can't make it tomorrow and see him in 5 weeks! Surprisingly difficult to word it, and the only time I have ever emailed him.
He replied saying have a lovely holiday and he'll see me when I get back. So that's ok.
I had also arranged to meet up with someone else tomorrow and have cancelled that too, I know it was only an 'as friends' meeting but I feel I couldn't have told S about it so it must have been the wrong thing to do.:innocent0002:
Flippin heck. I know, eggs in one basket and all that, but I can't do this multi-dating lark at all, I feel guilty at the very thought of it, PLUS, if S did it I would be gutted!!
So... flaming morals have got to me again
and I'm hoping that if things don't go places with S that at least PQM will still be a possibility in future (who knows!) and my friend will have understood (I'm sure he will have as he's a special kind of guy). 
Feel better having made both decisions though somewhat foolish at, like I say, putting all my eggs in one basket. Still, at least if they are all in one basket and a few get cracked it'll only be the one basket that gets eggy!! (does that make sense?):silly:
Had a choc mint muffin for breakfast and a spicy tomato soup for lunch... getting hungry now so will have another pint of appleade as don't want to have final pack so early in the day!
Going to snooze in the garden for an hour or so and then text S and see what he has to say. Nice of him to see how I was though, and he did sound concerned... or perhaps I'm being overly optimistic... blah! I need to remember what Isis said on another thread.....
Fingers crossed he suggests seeing me one day/evening this week!
Otherwise I think it will be hard for us to meet again :ashamed0005:
I realised today that I have 2 tickets for a gig in Bedford Friday night, not his kind of music, so will text one of my mates and ask her if she's up for it.. but have no plans Sat and Sunday will be quiz night (Trudy is running it in PQM's absence) so that will be my second last one before hols! Not sure if S will want to come or not... but then, Sunday is ages away and I need to keep things cool... and I AM tired still...:nightf: which is ridiculous as I've done sweet FA all day!!
Ho hum
I also did some thinking (I know, dangerous stuff!) and decided not to meet PQm tomorrow evening.:ignore:
I don't know where or if anything will happen with S but I simply can't risk it on a whim to have a drink with PQM, who, let's face it, has had 5 months worth of opportunity to ask me out and has only done so now he thinks I have someone!!
So... I sent a brief email to PQM saying I wasn't well
(which is true) and sorry but can't make it tomorrow and see him in 5 weeks! Surprisingly difficult to word it, and the only time I have ever emailed him.He replied saying have a lovely holiday and he'll see me when I get back. So that's ok.
I had also arranged to meet up with someone else tomorrow and have cancelled that too, I know it was only an 'as friends' meeting but I feel I couldn't have told S about it so it must have been the wrong thing to do.:innocent0002:
Flippin heck. I know, eggs in one basket and all that, but I can't do this multi-dating lark at all, I feel guilty at the very thought of it, PLUS, if S did it I would be gutted!!
So... flaming morals have got to me again
and I'm hoping that if things don't go places with S that at least PQM will still be a possibility in future (who knows!) and my friend will have understood (I'm sure he will have as he's a special kind of guy). Feel better having made both decisions though somewhat foolish at, like I say, putting all my eggs in one basket. Still, at least if they are all in one basket and a few get cracked it'll only be the one basket that gets eggy!! (does that make sense?):silly:
Had a choc mint muffin for breakfast and a spicy tomato soup for lunch... getting hungry now so will have another pint of appleade as don't want to have final pack so early in the day!
Going to snooze in the garden for an hour or so and then text S and see what he has to say. Nice of him to see how I was though, and he did sound concerned... or perhaps I'm being overly optimistic... blah! I need to remember what Isis said on another thread.....
Fingers crossed he suggests seeing me one day/evening this week!
Otherwise I think it will be hard for us to meet again :ashamed0005: I realised today that I have 2 tickets for a gig in Bedford Friday night, not his kind of music, so will text one of my mates and ask her if she's up for it.. but have no plans Sat and Sunday will be quiz night (Trudy is running it in PQM's absence) so that will be my second last one before hols! Not sure if S will want to come or not... but then, Sunday is ages away and I need to keep things cool... and I AM tired still...:nightf: which is ridiculous as I've done sweet FA all day!!
Ho hum
pandora
finding my way again !
really glad to hear you are taking some very much needed "Jennie Time" please make the most of it, just relaxing in the garden sounds blissful.
You know what i think about the S senario, so i will repeat - if he calls you off his own back he's still interested, the fact he took time out of his busy day to check on you when you let him know you were ill just reiterates the fact he does care.
knowing what you are like can i just say - DO NOT FEEL GUILTY FOR TAKING TIME OFF WORK !!!!! you needed it, b4 you went into meltdown.
xx
You know what i think about the S senario, so i will repeat - if he calls you off his own back he's still interested, the fact he took time out of his busy day to check on you when you let him know you were ill just reiterates the fact he does care.
knowing what you are like can i just say - DO NOT FEEL GUILTY FOR TAKING TIME OFF WORK !!!!! you needed it, b4 you went into meltdown.
xx
Brightness
Happily on CD
Oh Jennie :hug99: I hope you feel better soon hunny, you do sound poorly
Well what can I say about your loss except for :wow: :wow: :wow: :wow: :wow: 10 whole stones and more :wow::wow::wow::wow::wow: you clever, clever girl
As for S, I think yeah, keep it lukewarm - if he's worth it then he'll come a running LOL. Oh yeah and if he does it should be with flowers cos you're poorly and also a nice mag for you to read in your bed
Glad you all had a lovely weekend but now you need to get some proper rest and get better - stay in bed tomorrow and only allowed up for shakes, wees and water OK? :hug99: Anything else can wait - nothing is as important as getting yourself better hunny xxxxx
Well what can I say about your loss except for :wow: :wow: :wow: :wow: :wow: 10 whole stones and more :wow::wow::wow::wow::wow: you clever, clever girl
As for S, I think yeah, keep it lukewarm - if he's worth it then he'll come a running LOL. Oh yeah and if he does it should be with flowers cos you're poorly and also a nice mag for you to read in your bed
Glad you all had a lovely weekend but now you need to get some proper rest and get better - stay in bed tomorrow and only allowed up for shakes, wees and water OK? :hug99: Anything else can wait - nothing is as important as getting yourself better hunny xxxxx
Summerskye
Gold Member
You ... are ... amazing!!! End of!!! :wow:
I simply don't have the words to say how incredible I think you are and what you've achieved. You're an inspiration to so many - and I'm not sure you even realise it, nor appreciate how beautiful you are!
Thank you, too, for the wonderful message you put on my diary thread earlier. That meant more than I can say
Much love
I simply don't have the words to say how incredible I think you are and what you've achieved. You're an inspiration to so many - and I'm not sure you even realise it, nor appreciate how beautiful you are!
Thank you, too, for the wonderful message you put on my diary thread earlier. That meant more than I can say
Much love
FatFairNForty(ish)
Gold Member
Misery guts - whinging nelly - look away if not a happy bunny yerself!
Sitting here in floods of tears - totally overwhelmed by your messages and my emotions.:cry:
I tried ringing in sick to job 2 but it was engaged so am going to email - cowardly I know but if I speak to them now I'm likely to resign. HAdn't realised until this week just how hard I'm finding the 2 job situation.
S rang last night after I texted him and he was fine, told me he is probably having his little boy this weekend, which will be wonderful for them both as they miss each other desperately, and that he is snowed under with work. He said he won't call or text now unless he hears from me first as I am unwell... is this the final nail or is he being lovely? I dunno. I just can't tell any more. I feel so ridiculous. All I want is a hug from him :needhug::needhug:and for him to tell me it'll all be ok. But that can't happen unless we meet and there have been no hints as to that even being in his thoughts... I know patience is a virtue, but I'm not great at it. I won't push though but I wonder just how long I can keep this going without asking to see him or even asking if he has any intentions of seeing me again!
I go on holiday in 2 weeks and can't bear the idea of being in limbo like this for that long! It's only been a week but feels like ages longer.
I do feel rough still :sick:and know that probably I should have more energy going into me now but I don't want to stop the diet yet. For the sake of a few days of feeling crappy, it isn't worth it. I'm going to read up on the maintenance bit though and see if it's worth considering the 790 plan. I just don't know.
My mind is all over the place -siholog:I wanted to meet PQM, I wanted to see my special friend, but as CC says, I have treated S the way I would want him to treat me. I know it was the right thing to do.
So why all these tears???
I told the nurse about my hissy fit the other week and how badly I had behaved and she was incredibly supportive and told me she wasn't surprised even though it was out of character for me. In the end, the overwhelming message from everyone has been... if S wants you he will make sure you know and likewise, if he doesn't then he wouldn't be keeping in touch as he is.
The thing is, my head and my heart and my body are all working at different paces... I thought I was happy with my lot, and heaven knows, I should be! I have so much to be thankful for. Great kids, good health, work, food (of a sort, lol) and yet here I sit, salty streaks down my cheeks and looking like Rudolph on speed!
NOT a pretty sight!
Last text I had from S was this morning telling me to slow down and listen to my body! I haven't replied because I just don't know what to say. I want to say - "come over and give me a hug and make me feel better". lol Instead I shall probably say .. "thanks , will be fine" or some such drivel.
I'm so tired still but can't sit still! I've vacuumed downstairs and washed the floors, loaded and set off the dishwasher... and here I am online. All the washing is done so not got that to do now. Tried on one of Zoes skirts this morning and it fitted me, she's at her boyfriends so can't tell her about that yet. She leaves next week :wave_cry: and I am dreading it. I'm going to miss her SO much.
I MUST post an important form to the building society today, and go to the bank for the festival. I picked up some work from the office last night (had a call at 6pm from boss asking me to drop in some cheques) so I can do some work for job 1 today. My heart isn't in any of this though.
I need to submit an online job application which would be the perfect job for me, deadline is today. So that IS a priority.
Think I'll update my CV too and mail that round to some big employers and agencies and see if anything comes of it.
At the drs surgery yesterday I bumped into one of my neighbours - she was really chatty, which was nice as I had got the distinct impression that the women here were being 'off' with me. Probably another of my 'paranoia's . Hell, I seem to have developed a heap of those since the demise of my marriage!
Right - enough wallowing. Muffin cooked, sun out, lounger in garden, cambridge diet books to hand, going to sit and read and consider what to say to S next. Wish I could just be dead straight with him and tell him how I feel. Ought to be able to really.... :sigh: I guess I'm just a coward at the moment though so will say nowt.. lol Blimmin heck... what a terrible wallow this post has been, but hey, 'tis my diary and how I feel and even though the tears continue (and I like the salt as not had any in 8 months! so - silver lining even to crying!!)
Will no doubt be on to wallow some more later... perhaps I should be called Hippo.. lol... they like to wallow!
Sitting here in floods of tears - totally overwhelmed by your messages and my emotions.:cry:
I tried ringing in sick to job 2 but it was engaged so am going to email - cowardly I know but if I speak to them now I'm likely to resign. HAdn't realised until this week just how hard I'm finding the 2 job situation.
S rang last night after I texted him and he was fine, told me he is probably having his little boy this weekend, which will be wonderful for them both as they miss each other desperately, and that he is snowed under with work. He said he won't call or text now unless he hears from me first as I am unwell... is this the final nail or is he being lovely?
I dunno. I just can't tell any more. I feel so ridiculous. All I want is a hug from him :needhug::needhug:and for him to tell me it'll all be ok. But that can't happen unless we meet and there have been no hints as to that even being in his thoughts... I know patience is a virtue, but I'm not great at it. I won't push though but I wonder just how long I can keep this going without asking to see him or even asking if he has any intentions of seeing me again! I go on holiday in 2 weeks and can't bear the idea of being in limbo like this for that long! It's only been a week but feels like ages longer.
I do feel rough still :sick:and know that probably I should have more energy going into me now but I don't want to stop the diet yet. For the sake of a few days of feeling crappy, it isn't worth it. I'm going to read up on the maintenance bit though and see if it's worth considering the 790 plan. I just don't know.
My mind is all over the place -
siholog:I wanted to meet PQM, I wanted to see my special friend, but as CC says, I have treated S the way I would want him to treat me. I know it was the right thing to do.So why all these tears???
I told the nurse about my hissy fit the other week and how badly I had behaved and she was incredibly supportive and told me she wasn't surprised even though it was out of character for me. In the end, the overwhelming message from everyone has been... if S wants you he will make sure you know and likewise, if he doesn't then he wouldn't be keeping in touch as he is.
The thing is, my head and my heart and my body are all working at different paces... I thought I was happy with my lot, and heaven knows, I should be! I have so much to be thankful for. Great kids, good health, work, food (of a sort, lol) and yet here I sit, salty streaks down my cheeks and looking like Rudolph on speed!
NOT a pretty sight!
Last text I had from S was this morning telling me to slow down and listen to my body! I haven't replied because I just don't know what to say. I want to say - "come over and give me a hug and make me feel better". lol Instead I shall probably say .. "thanks , will be fine" or some such drivel.
I'm so tired still but can't sit still! I've vacuumed downstairs and washed the floors, loaded and set off the dishwasher... and here I am online. All the washing is done so not got that to do now. Tried on one of Zoes skirts this morning and it fitted me, she's at her boyfriends so can't tell her about that yet. She leaves next week :wave_cry: and I am dreading it. I'm going to miss her SO much.
I MUST post an important form to the building society today, and go to the bank for the festival. I picked up some work from the office last night (had a call at 6pm from boss asking me to drop in some cheques) so I can do some work for job 1 today. My heart isn't in any of this though.
I need to submit an online job application which would be the perfect job for me, deadline is today. So that IS a priority.
Think I'll update my CV too and mail that round to some big employers and agencies and see if anything comes of it.
At the drs surgery yesterday I bumped into one of my neighbours - she was really chatty, which was nice as I had got the distinct impression that the women here were being 'off' with me. Probably another of my 'paranoia's . Hell, I seem to have developed a heap of those since the demise of my marriage!
Right - enough wallowing. Muffin cooked, sun out, lounger in garden, cambridge diet books to hand, going to sit and read and consider what to say to S next. Wish I could just be dead straight with him and tell him how I feel. Ought to be able to really.... :sigh: I guess I'm just a coward at the moment though so will say nowt.. lol Blimmin heck... what a terrible wallow this post has been, but hey, 'tis my diary and how I feel and even though the tears continue (and I like the salt as not had any in 8 months! so - silver lining even to crying!!)
Will no doubt be on to wallow some more later... perhaps I should be called Hippo.. lol... they like to wallow!
MadamDotty
Back again!
Awww Jennie, I just don't know what to say to you hun wish I could come over and give you a big hug, although I don't think it would have the same medicinal affect as one from S.
Please take care of yourself and try to slow down a bit, I think you've just exhausted yourself physically and mentally, and your body is making you take a break.
Lots of love
Jan
xxxx
Please take care of yourself and try to slow down a bit, I think you've just exhausted yourself physically and mentally, and your body is making you take a break.
Lots of love
Jan
xxxx
kazbro
jelly belly
jennie 1st answer his text this morning
like you heprobably thinks
well she aint text back
if you really like the guy take the bull by the horns and say what ya thinking
sound like ya both a tad shy
i`m no way nagging here just think you should push forward and not wait for him to text again
text back saying something like
" thanks, still feeling rough, could use a hug right now, hate feeling ill"
least he knows then that your still keen and i`m sure he is or he wouldn`t be texting you today
i`m not s but heres a big hug from me
kaz
like you heprobably thinks
well she aint text back
if you really like the guy take the bull by the horns and say what ya thinking
sound like ya both a tad shy
i`m no way nagging here just think you should push forward and not wait for him to text again
text back saying something like
" thanks, still feeling rough, could use a hug right now, hate feeling ill"
least he knows then that your still keen and i`m sure he is or he wouldn`t be texting you today
i`m not s but heres a big hug from me
kaz
Redpam
Living the Life
Hi Jenny
I totally agree with Kaz. Send S an honest text like " Iam listening to my body and it says it needs a big hug from you. lol". Dont be so reticent. After all as you are being non committal to him he most probably thinks you are being cold and dont fancy him. After all men are such wilting flowers and never take a hint. They need it spelt out lol
Hope you feel brighter soon. We all get the blues at times and dont stop to think about all the positives we have.
Love Pam
I totally agree with Kaz. Send S an honest text like " Iam listening to my body and it says it needs a big hug from you. lol". Dont be so reticent. After all as you are being non committal to him he most probably thinks you are being cold and dont fancy him. After all men are such wilting flowers and never take a hint. They need it spelt out lol
Hope you feel brighter soon. We all get the blues at times and dont stop to think about all the positives we have.
Love Pam
JEM
Cambridge Diet Counsellor
Just wanted to send you some big hugs - sounds like you could do with them at the moment!
Think you need to be honest with S - tell him exactly what you're feeling......life is far too short not to especially as he seems very special to you. I'm sure he'll appreciate it - being a bloke, this must be confusing as hell for him!
Hope it all works out for you.
Jem xx
Think you need to be honest with S - tell him exactly what you're feeling......life is far too short not to especially as he seems very special to you. I'm sure he'll appreciate it - being a bloke, this must be confusing as hell for him!
Hope it all works out for you.
Jem xx
