Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary
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FatFairNForty(ish)
Gold Member
hiya
just got back... we met in the car park and there were smiles and a lovely big hug (no kiss) then we walked... a little apart.. it was a bit awkward for a while and then he asked me how I was feeling.. so I said weird and asked him the same.. he told me that he still doesn't know how he feels and hoped I wasn't expecting some huge revelation, lol (well, now you come to mention it......) so I said I had no expectations and had been surprised at his suggesting the walk in the first place.. he got all tongue tied so we stopped walking and I just looked him in the eye and said "what? spit it out man!" and chuckled... he just looked dead serious and said.. "I just wanted to see you" and gave me a big hug.
I hugged him right back and told him I was glad he had as I wanted to see him too. Things got easier then. He said he liked my top so I told him it was the new one that made me cry in Asda.. lol.. I was wearing a cardigan over it but it was too hot and although I said I hate my arms, I had to unwrap as it really was stinking hot in the sunshine.. He was wearing shorts.. I blurted out that I'd thought about wearing mine but as I have a good amount of growth in preparation of my pre-holiday waxing, that I'd decided not to bare them.. lol (I just told Zoe that I said that and she groaned and grimaced and told me off! , well, it's the truth!).
Anyway, we were more relaxed after his admitting he wanted to see me and we chatted as we walked, then we got to the tyre swings again (remember?) and he asked if I wanted to go on them again.. lol.. so I did and promptly went a nasty shade of green and had to get off.. lol.. after that we strolled more and held hands as we did. It was lovely.
We talked about all sorts of stuff. School trips, ex wives/husbands.. the things children say... the things adults do... he's meeting up with an ex tonight to get back some money she owes him.. he didn't have to tell me, but he did, and he said he will ring me later..so I know he will. They're meeting at about half 7 I think.
We walked back to the cars.. again,hand in hand.. we hugged and he kissed me. It was lovely. Smiles as we parted. Still no statement of intent as such, although he did ask me what plans I had for the weekend and I told him I had none until Monday.
I feel a lot happier having seen him again. Still not sure what he will decide but know that he enjoyed the hugs as much as I did and that it broke the ice all over again for us. I'm so glad he suggested it.
I look very burnt now as we were in the sun the entire time (over an hour I think..) but I don't care. I've just had a half bowl of butterscotch pack made as a mousse and it was lush. Will have the rest later - that makes my 3 packs and 1 AAM today (I had a prawn salad for lunch).
I'm utterly shattered again though but wouldn't have missed out on that walk for anything.
just got back... we met in the car park and there were smiles and a lovely big hug (no kiss) then we walked... a little apart.. it was a bit awkward for a while and then he asked me how I was feeling.. so I said weird and asked him the same.. he told me that he still doesn't know how he feels and hoped I wasn't expecting some huge revelation, lol (well, now you come to mention it......) so I said I had no expectations and had been surprised at his suggesting the walk in the first place.. he got all tongue tied so we stopped walking and I just looked him in the eye and said "what? spit it out man!" and chuckled... he just looked dead serious and said.. "I just wanted to see you" and gave me a big hug.
I hugged him right back and told him I was glad he had as I wanted to see him too. Things got easier then. He said he liked my top so I told him it was the new one that made me cry in Asda.. lol.. I was wearing a cardigan over it but it was too hot and although I said I hate my arms, I had to unwrap as it really was stinking hot in the sunshine.. He was wearing shorts.. I blurted out that I'd thought about wearing mine but as I have a good amount of growth in preparation of my pre-holiday waxing, that I'd decided not to bare them.. lol (I just told Zoe that I said that and she groaned and grimaced and told me off! , well, it's the truth!).
Anyway, we were more relaxed after his admitting he wanted to see me and we chatted as we walked, then we got to the tyre swings again (remember?) and he asked if I wanted to go on them again.. lol.. so I did and promptly went a nasty shade of green and had to get off.. lol.. after that we strolled more and held hands as we did. It was lovely.
We talked about all sorts of stuff. School trips, ex wives/husbands.. the things children say... the things adults do... he's meeting up with an ex tonight to get back some money she owes him.. he didn't have to tell me, but he did, and he said he will ring me later..so I know he will. They're meeting at about half 7 I think.
We walked back to the cars.. again,hand in hand.. we hugged and he kissed me. It was lovely. Smiles as we parted. Still no statement of intent as such, although he did ask me what plans I had for the weekend and I told him I had none until Monday.
I feel a lot happier having seen him again. Still not sure what he will decide but know that he enjoyed the hugs as much as I did and that it broke the ice all over again for us. I'm so glad he suggested it.
I look very burnt now as we were in the sun the entire time (over an hour I think..) but I don't care. I've just had a half bowl of butterscotch pack made as a mousse and it was lush. Will have the rest later - that makes my 3 packs and 1 AAM today (I had a prawn salad for lunch).
I'm utterly shattered again though but wouldn't have missed out on that walk for anything.
FatFairNForty(ish)
Gold Member
My arms are horrendous, I just tucked all the flappy bits out of sight! Seriously - I hate them... if you saw them up close and flapping free you would understand!
When I get them 'done' they will have to go all the way down to my elbows! I do do arm exercises but they haven't made any noticeable difference but I figure if I do all I can then whatever the surgeons knife has to contend with is beyond my control!
pandora
finding my way again !
so glad to hear you sounding more upbeat & possitive hun, didn't i say he was still keen ?
he would not have hugged & kissed you if his intent was just to remain friends, so i think you can safely say thing are going to be ok, even if a little less intense than previously.That maybe a good thing as you will have chance to get to know each other properly.
take care of that sunburn though.
xx
he would not have hugged & kissed you if his intent was just to remain friends, so i think you can safely say thing are going to be ok, even if a little less intense than previously.That maybe a good thing as you will have chance to get to know each other properly.
take care of that sunburn though.
xx
crikey - you are the only person I know who thinks a 'sweet dreams' ending last night, text me in the morning request, 'lets walk around the lakes if not too dizzy' suggestion is the prelude to a dumping!!!
Happy to say - told ya
Not in any way have you made it sound he is that callous a guy. He is carzy nervous himself and there will be an awkwardness when you first get together as the last time was the PWFH episode.
nuff said - don't like repeating myself
So, prediction - after say 10 seconds (if that) of 'hi, how are you' - there will be a massive huge hug followed by (hands over kids eyes if they are reading) an offensively sloppy snog.
okay the snog was later but the POWER OF THE HUG
So 15 seconds to put things straight I reckon.
way out there - whats wrong with the guy
and you are right, hairy legs will not be an issue for him or you atthat stage as you will only be looking into eachothers eyes (pass the yuk pills quick)
seems you needed the yuk pills for the swing - but you couldn't leave your hairy legs out of it could you - talk about too honest
Seriously, great news - and good luck
Have a good time Great Auntie Jen
Delighted for you - clearly the admirer remains as such.
Mans not a fool
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FatFairNForty(ish)
Gold Member
lol thanks you guys...
still not out of the woods but can see a small clearing..
the kiss wasn't a snog either, it really was, just a kiss.. but a kiss nonetheless!
100% with you on the Power of the Hug!
feel zonked now so might head for the shower and bed... still need sleep (madness, done nothing today and STILL wiped out!)...
still not out of the woods but can see a small clearing..
the kiss wasn't a snog either, it really was, just a kiss.. but a kiss nonetheless!
100% with you on the Power of the Hug!
feel zonked now so might head for the shower and bed... still need sleep (madness, done nothing today and STILL wiped out!)...
sonkie
Gold Member
Will you be getting them done ?????
I am interested to hear how you get on if you do.
FatFairNForty(ish)
Gold Member
I'm hoping to get my arms and boobs done on the NHS and somehow raise enough money to get my huge flap of belly skin done too one day. It is beyond exercise I'm afraid...
Honestly Sonkie.. the photos are deceptive. My arms are horrific as are my boobs and my thighs and my belly.. and even my bum!
I'm like a cheap Christmas Present - wrapped I can look tempting, take off the nice wrapping and you get disappointment! Trust me! lol
Honestly Sonkie.. the photos are deceptive. My arms are horrific as are my boobs and my thighs and my belly.. and even my bum!
I'm like a cheap Christmas Present - wrapped I can look tempting, take off the nice wrapping and you get disappointment! Trust me! lol
MadamDotty
Back again!
Hello you, just catching up with all your news today as I've not been online.
Wow, what a day you've had, first big congrats on being an Auntie again, how lovely and secondly so glad to hear you've seen S again today and it wasn't the end, it may not be completely resolved but surely good news that he wanted to see you and hug you.
Everything crossed for you.
Just posted on my thread how fab you look in your new pics Jennie, so much that it deserves repeating, you look absolutely amazing, you really do.
Take care, & continue to take it easy - Dr Dotty's orders don't forget
xxx
Wow, what a day you've had, first big congrats on being an Auntie again, how lovely and secondly so glad to hear you've seen S again today and it wasn't the end, it may not be completely resolved but surely good news that he wanted to see you and hug you.
Everything crossed for you.
Just posted on my thread how fab you look in your new pics Jennie, so much that it deserves repeating, you look absolutely amazing, you really do.
Take care, & continue to take it easy - Dr Dotty's orders don't forget
xxx
FatFairNForty(ish)
Gold Member
thanks Karen... me too!
FatFairNForty(ish)
Gold Member
Hello you, just catching up with all your news today as I've not been online.
Wow, what a day you've had, first big congrats on being an Auntie again, how lovely and secondly so glad to hear you've seen S again today and it wasn't the end, it may not be completely resolved but surely good news that he wanted to see you and hug you.
Everything crossed for you.
Just posted on my thread how fab you look in your new pics Jennie, so much that it deserves repeating, you look absolutely amazing, you really do.
Take care, & continue to take it easy - Dr Dotty's orders don't forget
xxx
hiya MD, thank you...
I'm still feeling incredibly tired and a bit shaky this morning - I mean... a whole week of doing sweet FA and STILL tired?? What's going on!?? lol
It definitely isn't totally resolved but I know that we managed to spend a very lovely hour + together and at the end there were smiles from us both.. so it bodes well for a hand-holding, hugging, kissing friendship.. (hm, does that sound just like friends to you??
lol) whatever happens, I know we are going to be ok in each others company from now on so that's a major bonus in my book.I forgot to get the jobs paper last night so am just going to drive to the shop and hope they have some left over from last night.. I would normally walk but am feeling a bit shaky (despite having had a shake this morning already and 2 pints of water and a pint of appleade!).
S didn't ring last night like he said he would, but he did text. I think he had a pretty naff evening so I made light of it and went to bed. lol We've exchanged texts this morning but his day started badly and I know how he is when he is in 'work' mode so will just send my normal inane drively texts , lol. Being stuck at home is driving me nuts, although, the patio (as you may have spotted in the photos) is in dire need of weeding so I just MIGHT do that today... it's not hard work, I can do it sitting on the ground, it's only pulling up of little green things... honest... and the grass... well.. I MAY have to cut that.. but if I do I will take my time.. AND it's only a teensy lawn, honest MD, it is.
Have I convinced you yet?
Will see if I'm still shaky when back with jobs paper.
Cross me heart I will just sit and do typing work for job 1 if a) too shaky to weed
b) sun isn't out
c) S doesn't suggest another stroll (although it hasn't even been hinted at so that's completely hopeful thinking on my part)
I did mention that I would love to see the new Johnny Depp film.. lol... not sure he took the hint but he knows I've no plans for the weekend and to be honest, even though I have tickets for a gig in Bedford tonight, I don't think I'll go. I can't face the late night drive home. If I'm tired and its only 9am and I slept for 8 hours straight, then I can only imagine I'll be whacked by tonight!
Damn body! Why can't it keep up!!
Oh, and I did something this morning that I am constantly telling others not to do!! I got on my scales... I was so shocked... they read... 12 stone 13lbs! I KNOW they are nowhere near Ailsa's so it means nothing except the last time I got on them they said 13stone 2 so whatever, in the meantime another 3lbs has gone. How does that work when I'm doing nowt?? Well.. who cares... I get weighed again on Tuesday and pick up my 105 packs!! Scary stuff not being checked on for 5 weeks! Make or break methinks...
I had a chat with my sister last night - in fact, the phone was busy most of the evening to be honest, and although tired I was glad as it stopped me mithering about S.
I emailed sis my pic in white top and she opened it whilst chatting, lol, it was funny, she never swears but there was an expletive! LOL
I'm looking forward to Monday but am a bit nervous as to whether I will physically be up to it. I'll be at the front of the procession (with sis) and in charge of a large samba band (so will be dancing around!!) and 2 schools and a group of disabled kids.. I'm really excited as, if I like it and am good at it I'll volunteer every year. Also dead proud of my sis as she is a hell of an organiser.
We both have our holiday spending money all sorted out and wish we were going next week, but I have been considering making a monumental decision.
I am still undecided - BUT.. I think I shall hand in my notice to job 2 next week, use my hols as the bulk of my period of notice, and when I get back, I shall use my afternoons to blast my way around the recruitment agencies and attend job interviews and go and see a careers advisor.
I have arranged with the building society a 2 month payment holiday so that gives me until August, I have enough savings to pay August & Septembers mortgage payments and, with Zoe living away, I should have the money from her that she owes me (that's another mortgage payment) by September... plus, if a lodger by then will be better off too..
I will be frugal with my spending/eating etc... everything I have booked in my calendar already is all paid for.. (rally in Sept, trip to Dublin, trip to Brum) and all I will need is petrol money. I've decided to see if there is anything in the house I can sell.. ie.. set of books, jewellry, clothes.. and will be asking Mich for a masterclass on Ebay!!
I just feel that I cannot do the 2 jobs thing any more. I am so worn out. It isn't just the late nights out., it's the day to day. I've really felt crappy since hurtling from one job to the other without a break and the brain switching mode is hard. I know I sound pathetic and weak, but I need ONE job. Whether I can find one that pays enough, I dunno.. but I'm still trying.. and with afternoons free to go for it and with the renewed vigour of my holiday rest under my belt and no big hols to warn employers about.. I figure it's time for action.
Scary decision, but, as I don't feel secure in job 2 anyhow I figure I have little to lose and at the moment feel I am losing loads by working there!
Perhaps this is a knee-jerk reaction - I dunno.. but it is something I've thought about for a while and was undecided.. still am.. only slightly though!
Sugar - I've droned on yet again!!!!!!!
Right - off to track down a jobs paper! Still shaking... hmm.. not liking this much! xxxx
MadamDotty
Back again!
Do take it easy hun, your body is still trying to recover and it does need rest, hence the shaky feeling. I know you want to do more, but the weeds will still be there next week, just a bit longer. Listen to your body and do what you feel like doing, but don't overdo it - ok????? Finger wagging mode here.
I think handing in your notice on job 2 is a good idea, I know it's frightening losing the income but it sounds like you've got your finances sorted out for a while and you have been doing too much, two jobs is one hell of an undertaking for anyone, never mind someone who's SSing and living the rest of her life at 90mph too. Keep looking for jobs and the right one, with good hours and pay will come along, it makes a lot more sense than racing around trying to do two.
I didn't realise you weren't getting weighed with Ailsa for 5 weeks, how come it's so long, is that how long your going away for???? Or is she away after you. But don't worry, you're strong enough to cope, you know you'll still be losing, you'll feel it in your clothes. Take some measurements before you go and then you can see visible results even though you're not getting weighed, but I'm sure you'll be fine and will stay on the straight and narrow.
Take care, have a lovely, restful day although I will allow a gentle stroll with S if it's on the cards
xxx
I think handing in your notice on job 2 is a good idea, I know it's frightening losing the income but it sounds like you've got your finances sorted out for a while and you have been doing too much, two jobs is one hell of an undertaking for anyone, never mind someone who's SSing and living the rest of her life at 90mph too. Keep looking for jobs and the right one, with good hours and pay will come along, it makes a lot more sense than racing around trying to do two.
I didn't realise you weren't getting weighed with Ailsa for 5 weeks, how come it's so long, is that how long your going away for???? Or is she away after you. But don't worry, you're strong enough to cope, you know you'll still be losing, you'll feel it in your clothes. Take some measurements before you go and then you can see visible results even though you're not getting weighed, but I'm sure you'll be fine and will stay on the straight and narrow.
Take care, have a lovely, restful day although I will allow a gentle stroll with S if it's on the cards
xxx
