Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary
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FatFairNForty(ish)
Gold Member
glad you're feeling a bit better now It's 3.15pm and I'm wondering what to do first... I've had a prawn salad (scrummy) and taken 2 Nurofen+ tablets and have to say, it was only about 20 mins ago but I do think it's helped! (could just be psychological but who cares! lol)
Feeling sleepy too.. might just do a teensy bit of housework, unpack my weekend suitcase (it's happily taking up half my bed - perk of being single - lots of space for junk on the bed!).. dog is sunbathing - I had thought of joining him but am feeling REALLY cold today (ah the pleasures of this diet! lol)
Whilst in Asda I bumped into the lady who used to work at the clothes shop I bought almost all my clothes from (in the past - can't shop there anymore as the smallest they do is too big!!! Unbelievable!!)... lol Anyway, she gave me a huge hug (squeals of 'mind my neck' and more teary eyes!) lol and was so complimentary! She had her hubby with her and we had a rare old chinwag! She hasn't seen me in a while and was shocked to see how much I've lost, lol, this is getting rarer these days as most folks I know are used to the changes.. so, where was I, oh yes...
We exchanged phone numbers and she's promised to come out with me sometime for a boogy. She's stunningly beautiful and such a lovely person too. We have spent many times nattering.. lol
Whilst in Asda I bought something.. a dress!! Now, I'm REALLY not one for dresses, and I'm still not sure it was a wise decision, but, I tried it on in grey and in cream and plumped for the cream one. I collared a female member of staff and asked her opinion (I am terrified of going out as mutton dressed as lamb!).. and she said it looked lovely and to go for the cream one! So I did! I also had the hanger as the dress is a 14! lol (can't believe I have hangers in my wardrobe with 16's and 14's on them!!!) lmao
I hadn't intended on buying any more clothes but really liked the dress. So, it's mine now! I may wear it Friday night to the quiz my mate's asked me to go to. Will see what the weather's doing! Could just wear if for work actually - it's a simple thing.. short sleeves, scoop neckline... some sort of embroidery type design on the booswum bit... felt very girly and feminine in it (which is what clinched the deal as I like to feel that way sometimes these days!).
Did I mention the quiz before? can't recall... but am off to a local fundraising quiz on Friday night at the Cricket Club (never been there before) and am making up a team of 4 with me mate Trudy, her hub and one of the guys who goes to the quiz on Sundays. It should be a good evening and I'm really looking forward to it. NO interest in the chap, nice bloke and all that, but not my type and certainly doesn't get my juices flowing if you know what I mean.
Oh, another lightbulb moment happened Sunday night too!
PQM walked me home (along with half the blokes in the pub, lol, who sort of dropped off en route) and I found myself wondering why I had fancied him in the first place!! Now, I KNOW he hasn't changed at all since I first clapped eyes on him last November.. so something odd is going on in my head!! It was still nice to be walked home and all, but didn't 'feel' the same if you get my drift.
Hmmm.... things are certainly different these days!
Saturday will be a great night out too - Murder Mystery evening at the local wine bar... I've got together a table of 6 of us (possibly 8) so that will be a belter! Local drama group are doing it... was wondering about perhaps becoming a thespian.. but when I mooted the idea to my Zoe she told me 'you'll need to shave your head and wear dungarees mum!' ...
I really MUST get her some cotton buds! Am still feeling very chipper despite the pain in the neck.. lol.. which has definitely abated even whilst waffling on here!
So... time for some sunshine perhaps and read my book I started on hols... bizarre for me, I think I've only read about 2 chapters and normally on hols I would devour books!! Hmm... all that swimming etc must have been more time consuming than I thought - or perhaps I was so chilled out I couldn't absorb it ! (the latter sounds FAR more likely lol)
Right, can't waste good sunshine! Will drone on more later no doubt! (Still have Tobago, Dublin and Bournemouth to witter on further about!)...
Oh... I've attached a pic from Bournemouth.. the Lionel Richie crew, Cheryl being pampered (not sure quite how much bubbly had been consumed at this stage! lol), and one of her and the lovely Westiegirl (Sarah) plus a great pic of Cheryl at the entrance to her partyyyyy :giggle:
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westiegirl
Gold Member
Saturday will be a great night out too - Murder Mystery evening at the local wine bar... I've got together a table of 6 of us (possibly 8) so that will be a belter! Local drama group are doing it... was wondering about perhaps becoming a thespian.. but when I mooted the idea to my Zoe she told me 'you'll need to shave your head and wear dungarees mum!' ...
PMSL!!
cazmaz_irl
Banned
I completely agree, it makes us realise we are fortunate but we can still be pee'd off too..LOL...
Eclipse
Gold Member
OMG Jen I totally agree with you and this sentiment. I keep getting told, "oh you are soooo positive" etc etc and all the comparisons to others. But at the end of the day I don't want comparisons, I want my life back! I want this cloud that's been hanging over me for the past 9 years to somehow disappear.
As you can tell I am very pensive at the moment, (3 month check looming on Thursday). But I am still here, and life goes on, and we just get on with it. (Sure I am a reincarnated ostrich - sometimes its the easiest way)
At the end of the day, you rock hun, you have done brilliant and I admire you and always will. Take care, and hopefully see you soon x x x (Any chance you can make the Plymouth meet or even come down a bit earlier to see your daughter so that we can meet up?)
Love you always x x x x
FatFairNForty(ish)
Gold Member
Morning all
Weds morning, 9.37am and at work freezing cold (is it the weather or ketosis? dunno but I'm cold!).
Neck was so bad last night I was in bed before 9pm and the damn dog woke me at midnight AND 5am AND 7am!!!
I would've worn earplugs but I listen to Paul McKenna's cd about instant confidence every night and it sends me to sleep... might listen to it in the afternoons and get those plugs back in!
Neck is still bad but improved... yesterday afternoon after I got offline I did something I haven't done in ages - I just sat and watched telly for hours! It was dead boring though, but to move hurt too much!
I wanted to take the dog for a walk (not walked him for 3 days now) but the thought of him yanking the lead was enough of a deterrent! Might take him later today and just see how we go.
Meeting up with my mate Penny for lunch at the local wine bar today, won't be eating though as determined to SS today - going to see how stomach copes with Nurofen+ on a pack of soup!
Not taken any painkillers yet as only allowed to have 6 in a 24hr period so saving them for when at home later... I think they made me a bit drowsy too so not a good idea if driving.
Anyway...
Kaz... thanks SO much for the help - I'll have a bash at doing the photo thing later tonight I think.. if I get frustrated with it you will be the first to know! lol
Cheryl (Eclipse) I would LOVE to get together with you! Let's get our thinking caps on and see what we can come up with, my daughter rang yesterday and she really wants me to go down for a visit., if I do it will have to be the coach (11hours!) as it is by far the cheapest way and won't add the mileage to my car and, hopefully, will be less tiring! The problem is that I will only get one evening with her and then back on coach following morning! Seems a hell of a long time on a bus to grab a few hours with her... am going to have a think about asking for some time off (unpaid) so I can spend a couple of days with her.. the prob is the dog and money!) I keep trying to explain this to her.. but you know how it is, we miss each other and so logic and finance seem irrelevant somehow. Times like this I wish she hadn't chosen to go all that way away!
Have to collect other daughter (Zoe) from work first thing Saturday morning and hoping to call in on my best mate Zoe in St Albans on the way back... (like to cram is as much as I can on a trip, lol, justifies the petrol more! lol)
Right - I've a meeting in 10 minutes so will toddle off now.
Oh, S and I are still texting each day although not spoken to one another since our lunch together last week. Ho hum. lol
Made an appointment to see the Dr on Friday about my neck (first available appt!!!) so am going to discuss the PCT decision too as had lengthy talk with trainer at the gym about it and we have a 'cunning plan' lol
Eclipse honey - I'll be thinking of you tomorrow and sending love and very positive vibes your way You're a darling. xxxx
Weds morning, 9.37am and at work freezing cold (is it the weather or ketosis? dunno but I'm cold!).
Neck was so bad last night I was in bed before 9pm and the damn dog woke me at midnight AND 5am AND 7am!!!
I would've worn earplugs but I listen to Paul McKenna's cd about instant confidence every night and it sends me to sleep... might listen to it in the afternoons and get those plugs back in!
Neck is still bad but improved... yesterday afternoon after I got offline I did something I haven't done in ages - I just sat and watched telly for hours! It was dead boring though, but to move hurt too much!
I wanted to take the dog for a walk (not walked him for 3 days now) but the thought of him yanking the lead was enough of a deterrent! Might take him later today and just see how we go.
Meeting up with my mate Penny for lunch at the local wine bar today, won't be eating though as determined to SS today - going to see how stomach copes with Nurofen+ on a pack of soup!
Not taken any painkillers yet as only allowed to have 6 in a 24hr period so saving them for when at home later... I think they made me a bit drowsy too so not a good idea if driving.
Anyway...
Kaz... thanks SO much for the help - I'll have a bash at doing the photo thing later tonight I think.. if I get frustrated with it you will be the first to know! lol
Cheryl (Eclipse) I would LOVE to get together with you! Let's get our thinking caps on and see what we can come up with, my daughter rang yesterday and she really wants me to go down for a visit., if I do it will have to be the coach (11hours!) as it is by far the cheapest way and won't add the mileage to my car and, hopefully, will be less tiring! The problem is that I will only get one evening with her and then back on coach following morning! Seems a hell of a long time on a bus to grab a few hours with her... am going to have a think about asking for some time off (unpaid) so I can spend a couple of days with her.. the prob is the dog and money!) I keep trying to explain this to her.. but you know how it is, we miss each other and so logic and finance seem irrelevant somehow. Times like this I wish she hadn't chosen to go all that way away!
Have to collect other daughter (Zoe) from work first thing Saturday morning and hoping to call in on my best mate Zoe in St Albans on the way back... (like to cram is as much as I can on a trip, lol, justifies the petrol more! lol)
Right - I've a meeting in 10 minutes so will toddle off now.
Oh, S and I are still texting each day although not spoken to one another since our lunch together last week. Ho hum. lol
Made an appointment to see the Dr on Friday about my neck (first available appt!!!) so am going to discuss the PCT decision too as had lengthy talk with trainer at the gym about it and we have a 'cunning plan' lol
Eclipse honey - I'll be thinking of you tomorrow and sending love and very positive vibes your way
You're a darling. xxxx
HelenG
Member
Hi Jen
Did you know that you can take Ibuprofen and Paracetamol. That gives you opportunity to take analgesia every two hours. 400mg MAX Ibuprofen every 4hrs and 2 x 500mg Paracetamol every 4 hrs. If you stagger them you should have blanket relief.
Hope this helps - if not tell me to wind my neck in!
Did you know that you can take Ibuprofen and Paracetamol. That gives you opportunity to take analgesia every two hours. 400mg MAX Ibuprofen every 4hrs and 2 x 500mg Paracetamol every 4 hrs. If you stagger them you should have blanket relief.
Hope this helps - if not tell me to wind my neck in!
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FatFairNForty(ish)
Gold Member
Hi Helen
Thank you - the reason for taking the nurofen plus is the codeine... taking 2 REALLY helps loads... it is a lot better this evening so I may well do the Ibuprofen/Paracetomol thing tomorrow.
Bless you for thinking to let me know You and Maisie are ace - she sent me a PM about it, love her.
Thanks again.. don't do any neck winding! It can hurt!!! lol
Thank you - the reason for taking the nurofen plus is the codeine... taking 2 REALLY helps loads... it is a lot better this evening so I may well do the Ibuprofen/Paracetomol thing tomorrow.
Bless you for thinking to let me know
You and Maisie are ace - she sent me a PM about it, love her.Thanks again.. don't do any neck winding! It can hurt!!! lol
FatFairNForty(ish)
Gold Member
Well, its Weds night, 7pm and I am nervous about going out this evening to the motorbike club! To steady my nerves I am about to take the dog out for a stomp around town and then will take some deep breaths and head out to the local branch meeting of the national club I've been a member of for the past 16 years!
I know the secretary, but none of the local branch members, and I only know her through the Freecycle site as I was sorting my loft out and gave her my old motorcycle gloves! We hit it off and have kept in touch ever since - that was last summer I think! Blimey - well over a year now!
I last saw her when I went to a 'tapping' session which was held in the pub I'm going to try and find tonight.. lol.. I am hopeless at directions and will have a look on autoroute now whilst I remember! lol
Today - no news on the job front which is disappointing. very productive morning at work though - which is good! Also met up for lunch with a lovely friend of mine called Penny, who broke the news to me that during my first week away a very dear lady from our church died! I was in bits! I'd known her ever since we moved here 6 years ago. She's the lady who was so pleased I was losing weight and took in my fave coat 12 inches! I was so shocked to hear the news that I burst into tears in the middle of the wine bar! She tried to hug me but my neck hurt and her hugging made it worse. lol. Poor thing,.. lol she was upset that she'd upset me! She hadn't realised I didn't know about Mary's passing away and just casually mentioned her funeral! It was a total shock!
I knew Mary had been ill and was old but not THAT old and not, as far as I knew, THAT ill!
After that shocker we settled into talking about our kids (her son is the same age as my Sarah).. and she has a young daughter too (also called Sarah). We talked about her holiday with hubby and how much we are looking forward to Saturday night's Murder Mystery evening! (Must take my camera!) lol
She had a jacket potato for lunch, I took a soup with me. The owners of the wine bar know me and have been very supportive of my dieting and when I got home there was an invitation to their wedding waiting for me! How lovely is that!
I had asked S if he would come with me, and he did say yes, but I think I may go it alone... will see closer to the time.. never know... it's not until Mid September (weekend after the Brum meet) so... lots can happen between now and then!
Neck is feeling loads better since taking the Nurofen+ at lunchtime - I'm dead careful about doses as can only have 6 in any 24 hour period... so... no more until bedtime and then I AM going to have 2 as last night was very painful sleep! Am also going to shut the dog in the kitchen for the first time, and wear ear plugs so heaven help him if he manages to wake me at some ungodly hour! Although, to be fair, last night I was in bed very early and so it meant I let him out early for his last 'wee'.
Right, I'm off to walk the mutt and then to bite the bullet and meet some strangers and see how that goes!
I was on msn to my sis a minute ago and saw that PQM had added me and was online so I said 'hello' and he flicked to 'away' mode.. LMAO So.. blocked him now.. lol.. silly sod... I was only saying hello! lol Men! They are such morons at times! lol
Gosh, I have major butterflies... right.. stop procastinating girl and go!!!
I know the secretary, but none of the local branch members, and I only know her through the Freecycle site as I was sorting my loft out and gave her my old motorcycle gloves! We hit it off and have kept in touch ever since - that was last summer I think! Blimey - well over a year now!
I last saw her when I went to a 'tapping' session which was held in the pub I'm going to try and find tonight.. lol.. I am hopeless at directions and will have a look on autoroute now whilst I remember! lol
Today - no news on the job front which is disappointing. very productive morning at work though - which is good! Also met up for lunch with a lovely friend of mine called Penny, who broke the news to me that during my first week away a very dear lady from our church died! I was in bits! I'd known her ever since we moved here 6 years ago. She's the lady who was so pleased I was losing weight and took in my fave coat 12 inches! I was so shocked to hear the news that I burst into tears in the middle of the wine bar! She tried to hug me but my neck hurt and her hugging made it worse. lol. Poor thing,.. lol she was upset that she'd upset me! She hadn't realised I didn't know about Mary's passing away and just casually mentioned her funeral! It was a total shock!
I knew Mary had been ill and was old but not THAT old and not, as far as I knew, THAT ill!
After that shocker we settled into talking about our kids (her son is the same age as my Sarah).. and she has a young daughter too (also called Sarah). We talked about her holiday with hubby and how much we are looking forward to Saturday night's Murder Mystery evening! (Must take my camera!) lol
She had a jacket potato for lunch, I took a soup with me. The owners of the wine bar know me and have been very supportive of my dieting and when I got home there was an invitation to their wedding waiting for me! How lovely is that!
I had asked S if he would come with me, and he did say yes, but I think I may go it alone... will see closer to the time.. never know... it's not until Mid September (weekend after the Brum meet) so... lots can happen between now and then!
Neck is feeling loads better since taking the Nurofen+ at lunchtime - I'm dead careful about doses as can only have 6 in any 24 hour period... so... no more until bedtime and then I AM going to have 2 as last night was very painful sleep! Am also going to shut the dog in the kitchen for the first time, and wear ear plugs so heaven help him if he manages to wake me at some ungodly hour! Although, to be fair, last night I was in bed very early and so it meant I let him out early for his last 'wee'.
Right, I'm off to walk the mutt and then to bite the bullet and meet some strangers and see how that goes!
I was on msn to my sis a minute ago and saw that PQM had added me and was online so I said 'hello' and he flicked to 'away' mode.. LMAO So.. blocked him now.. lol.. silly sod... I was only saying hello! lol Men! They are such morons at times! lol
Gosh, I have major butterflies... right.. stop procastinating girl and go!!!
FatFairNForty(ish)
Gold Member
Just got home - what a brilliant night!
I took the dog for a walk and then rang Sue (the sec of the bike club) and got directions and then set off! Miraculously found my way there without incident and was dead nervous as I pulled into the car park as the place had quite a few bikes and everyone was in the beer garden so could see me before I could get to the relative comfort of Sue! lol
Spotted her and walked up to her and she was very shocked but lovely about the weight loss and we got a drink and then sat with the other females there and she introduced me to /pointed out everyone to me.
It was ace! I had a wicked evening chatting to 2 of the women. one of them has offered me (free!) a set of leathers and boots so I can go out on a ride with them soon! She even volunteered her fella to take me on the back of his bike until I got my confidence up and then said there wouldn't be a problem getting me lifts if I wanted to go on their rides out!
I was stunned - this total stranger befriended me immediately and I'm going to her place in Bedford to try on the leathers sometime in the next couple of weeks! ME!! In leathers!!! She has said they are a small 16 so not to be disheartened if they don't fit... OMG.. I've NEVER worn a set of leathers in my life! She also tried her lid on me and it is a small! FFS!! My old lid is XL! lol So.. she said she would loan me her lid for a trial run out one evening.
I was overwhelmed, they were a really friendly bunch - well, the women were... lol.. didn't really speak to the men. We (the women) went inside as it was getting chilly... and sat nattering in the pub. The guys came in later. The atmosphere was one of frivolity and banter and was really nice. I'm going again in a fortnight but in the meantime will meet up with Ruth and sort out the leathers thing!
IF they go on I'll get a pic! lol I can't believe she even thought I could wear leathers! lol ME!???? lol
Quite a few of them are going to the rally that I'm going to in September with my girls... so that'll be brilliant as I will know even more people there and that will all make for a better weekend.
So glad I took the plunge, next time won't be half as hard now! Hurrah!! lol
Managed to do a load of washing before I left this evening but MUST remember to wash me white linen trousers tomorrow!!!
Feel a bit guilty as Lucy texted asking if I'd like to go to pics Friday night, and, instead of asking if she'd like to come to the quiz with me and the others, I just said I was out and would love to go one evening next week. *sigh sometimes I'm such a crap friend.. but I KNOW I won't enjoy Friday night if I ask her along.. but at the same time I feel really mean about NOT asking her! Think I'll give Trudy a ring and ask if I can invite her... but in all honesty.. I don't want her there... how can I be so nasty! It isn't fair on her.. clearly she has no plans for Friday night... oh crap I'll HAVE to ask her along.. or I'm going to feel really guilty all evening.. but if I DO ask her and she comes I will feel inadequate all evening.. so.. choice... feel guilty or inadequate... hmm... need a coin to toss....
I took the dog for a walk and then rang Sue (the sec of the bike club) and got directions and then set off! Miraculously found my way there without incident and was dead nervous as I pulled into the car park as the place had quite a few bikes and everyone was in the beer garden so could see me before I could get to the relative comfort of Sue! lol
Spotted her and walked up to her and she was very shocked but lovely about the weight loss and we got a drink and then sat with the other females there and she introduced me to /pointed out everyone to me.
It was ace! I had a wicked evening chatting to 2 of the women. one of them has offered me (free!) a set of leathers and boots so I can go out on a ride with them soon! She even volunteered her fella to take me on the back of his bike until I got my confidence up and then said there wouldn't be a problem getting me lifts if I wanted to go on their rides out!
I was stunned - this total stranger befriended me immediately and I'm going to her place in Bedford to try on the leathers sometime in the next couple of weeks! ME!! In leathers!!! She has said they are a small 16 so not to be disheartened if they don't fit... OMG.. I've NEVER worn a set of leathers in my life! She also tried her lid on me and it is a small! FFS!! My old lid is XL! lol So.. she said she would loan me her lid for a trial run out one evening.
I was overwhelmed, they were a really friendly bunch - well, the women were... lol.. didn't really speak to the men. We (the women) went inside as it was getting chilly... and sat nattering in the pub. The guys came in later. The atmosphere was one of frivolity and banter and was really nice. I'm going again in a fortnight but in the meantime will meet up with Ruth and sort out the leathers thing!
IF they go on I'll get a pic! lol I can't believe she even thought I could wear leathers! lol ME!???? lol
Quite a few of them are going to the rally that I'm going to in September with my girls... so that'll be brilliant as I will know even more people there and that will all make for a better weekend.
So glad I took the plunge, next time won't be half as hard now! Hurrah!! lol
Managed to do a load of washing before I left this evening but MUST remember to wash me white linen trousers tomorrow!!!
Feel a bit guilty as Lucy texted asking if I'd like to go to pics Friday night, and, instead of asking if she'd like to come to the quiz with me and the others, I just said I was out and would love to go one evening next week. *sigh sometimes I'm such a crap friend.. but I KNOW I won't enjoy Friday night if I ask her along.. but at the same time I feel really mean about NOT asking her! Think I'll give Trudy a ring and ask if I can invite her... but in all honesty.. I don't want her there... how can I be so nasty! It isn't fair on her.. clearly she has no plans for Friday night... oh crap I'll HAVE to ask her along.. or I'm going to feel really guilty all evening.. but if I DO ask her and she comes I will feel inadequate all evening.. so.. choice... feel guilty or inadequate... hmm... need a coin to toss....
HI Hun!
Glad you had a good time tonight.... get you in leathers....mmmm don't forget your talc....lol!!
Now about Lucy.... I think you need to ask yourself why does she make you feel so inferior? Has she ever done or said anything to make you feel this way? It seems to me it's getting worse.... why? From what you have said about her she has never been unkind or gone out of her way to make you feel this way in fact the opposite and sounds like she's been a really good friend... now I'm not saying you should invite her out on Friday if she's making you feel this way but you should really try and work out why cos sounds to me like she would be devestated if she knew the effect she was having on you....mmmmm:sigh:
Anyway, you know me.... don't wanna upset you but if shes been a good friend and you've always got on then it's a shame for this friendship to end or you to feel awkward because of your insecurity around her....
Hope you got the PM bout next week - let me know OK?
Love
Glad you had a good time tonight.... get you in leathers....mmmm don't forget your talc....lol!!
Now about Lucy....
I think you need to ask yourself why does she make you feel so inferior? Has she ever done or said anything to make you feel this way? It seems to me it's getting worse.... why? From what you have said about her she has never been unkind or gone out of her way to make you feel this way in fact the opposite and sounds like she's been a really good friend... now I'm not saying you should invite her out on Friday if she's making you feel this way but you should really try and work out why cos sounds to me like she would be devestated if she knew the effect she was having on you....mmmmm:sigh:Anyway, you know me.... don't wanna upset you but if shes been a good friend and you've always got on then it's a shame for this friendship to end or you to feel awkward because of your insecurity around her....
Hope you got the PM bout next week - let me know OK?
Love
FatFairNForty(ish)
Gold Member
I think I've said lots of times that Lucy would be so shocked if she knew how I feel when out with her, and she has never done anything or said anything deliberately to make me feel as I do. It really is MY problem, MY inferiority complex, MY insecurity... I can't explain why it is. I really can't. I simply don't know, I just know that it is how I feel.
I talked to my Sarah about it (she's known Lucy the same amount of time as I have) and she thinks it's because men are very drawn to Lucy and that makes me feel inferior because she unwittingly flirts with all of them without realising it. I don't know if Sarah is right or not, but perhaps she is. Maybe it's more to do with the attitude of males in the vicinity that makes me feel inferior to Lucy. I don't know. I don't blame them though.. lol.. she really is smashing.
I feel really mean and disloyal by sharing my feelings about this on here, I think I'll shut up about it. She IS a great friend.
I talked to my Sarah about it (she's known Lucy the same amount of time as I have) and she thinks it's because men are very drawn to Lucy and that makes me feel inferior because she unwittingly flirts with all of them without realising it. I don't know if Sarah is right or not, but perhaps she is. Maybe it's more to do with the attitude of males in the vicinity that makes me feel inferior to Lucy. I don't know. I don't blame them though.. lol.. she really is smashing.
I feel really mean and disloyal by sharing my feelings about this on here, I think I'll shut up about it. She IS a great friend.
FatFairNForty(ish)
Gold Member
lol, I'm not really blaming the men.. I'm blaming me! lol
Have pm'd you about Wednesday - Naseby sounds perfect!
Night night... am off to bed now too xxxx
Have pm'd you about Wednesday - Naseby sounds perfect!
Night night... am off to bed now too xxxx
KateF
Silver Member
Jennie,
two things while I'm on here.
1. 11 stone- wow!! I was thinking about it last night and that is how much I weigh. A whole me (and I'm not flimsy!) divested of. I'm in awe of your achievement and in keeping going amid holidays, stress, change etc.
2. Re Lucy. I'm sort of thinking of what my wise therapist would say here. You have a good gut instinct. You are persistently feeling certain feelings around her. We pick up SO much of what we feel from non-verbal signals. Can I suggest that you are actually picking up on something she does to MAKE you feel insecure? Not on purpose probably no, but when you say she "unwittingly" flirts with all blokes- well, I'd say, that's prob not "unwittingly" fully. For whatever reasons of her own, it sounds like she needs to unconsciously compete for all available male attention in the vicinity and symbolically "kill off" female competition around her. That will have got worse (i.e she might have stepped it up ,again unconsciously) as you have begun to grow tentatively more confident in your attractiveness.
Some female friendships can happily survive that level of unconscious competitiveness- some might need a little bit more distance in order for them to be sustainable. Sounds like you would like some space without having an unconscious femininity battle go on- I say, don't feel guilty-go for it! You can still be friends, but while you're at this tranisitonal stage in your confidence, you need to hold the floor on your own sometimes. Go with your gut-it's time and again proved right for you.
(If you were inclined, the Freudian psychologist Karen Horney is someone who writes about this type of thing-I'm not just making it up, honest!)
sorry for early morning ramblings, been meaning to say it for days
xx
two things while I'm on here.
1. 11 stone- wow!! I was thinking about it last night and that is how much I weigh. A whole me (and I'm not flimsy!) divested of. I'm in awe of your achievement and in keeping going amid holidays, stress, change etc.
2. Re Lucy. I'm sort of thinking of what my wise therapist would say here. You have a good gut instinct. You are persistently feeling certain feelings around her. We pick up SO much of what we feel from non-verbal signals. Can I suggest that you are actually picking up on something she does to MAKE you feel insecure? Not on purpose probably no, but when you say she "unwittingly" flirts with all blokes- well, I'd say, that's prob not "unwittingly" fully. For whatever reasons of her own, it sounds like she needs to unconsciously compete for all available male attention in the vicinity and symbolically "kill off" female competition around her. That will have got worse (i.e she might have stepped it up ,again unconsciously) as you have begun to grow tentatively more confident in your attractiveness.
Some female friendships can happily survive that level of unconscious competitiveness- some might need a little bit more distance in order for them to be sustainable. Sounds like you would like some space without having an unconscious femininity battle go on- I say, don't feel guilty-go for it! You can still be friends, but while you're at this tranisitonal stage in your confidence, you need to hold the floor on your own sometimes. Go with your gut-it's time and again proved right for you.
(If you were inclined, the Freudian psychologist Karen Horney is someone who writes about this type of thing-I'm not just making it up, honest!)
sorry for early morning ramblings, been meaning to say it for days
xx
