A repreive!!!!
Good morning all! Thank you SO much for all your support and good wishes...
It was with utter dread in my heart that I drove up to Leicester last night
- even as I was walking in I was trying to think of an acceptable excuse not to have the damn thing done to me...
I had been in tears on and off all day (PMT too - clearly appalling timing!)... AND that text from "Eric" just about topped it all off! (I emailed him to let him know how upset I was that he found it funny!) I have a complete and utter sense of humour loss about this business!
Anyway, got there early and booked in. The lady there (Myrtle) was lovely and put me at ease immediately. I told her how I've been feeling about it all since my diagnosis and about the tears and how I was dreading the whole experience.. and , thankfully, I told her about my weight loss (25kg since diagnosis) (showed her a photo as proof in case she thought I was making it up!)
and she said that rather than immediately start cpap treatement did I mind having what is called a split-study. Half the night you are on all the standard testing equipment and, if by the middle of the night it is clear that cpap IS needed then she would wake me and start that. I agreed. (Anything with even the teeniest possiblity of NOT having a maching and I was up for it!
).
So, all wired up... straps around chest and waist and a few patches with wires stuck under my chin and on my leg and a thingy-whatsit on me finger and an oxygen meter thing under my snout and I was all set to go! Well, to sleep! I was freezing (no leccy blanket there!) so, bless her, she got me another blanket.. I read my book for a while but it seemed to take ages for me to settle and finally close my eyes... i think I fought it because I was so afraid.
I know I woke at least twice in the night as I opened my eyes and rolled onto my back... I dreamt that she had come in and put the machine on me... then it was morning!
I woke up and immediately touched my face to see if I was on the machine - and I wasn't!! She came into my room and said good morning! I was amazed!
I thought she had come in to put me on the machine! I couldn't believe it!
She told me to get dressed and then she would explain why she hadn't put me on treatment... so I did (oh, I wore trakky bottoms and a t-shirt)..
Anyway, once dressed and with the biggest grin in the universe on my face, she talked me through the results and explained how I had experienced some apnea, that she felt I was borderline as to whether I ought to have a machine or not.. she showed me the chart and explained the wiggly bits and the shaded parts of the bar chart.. she said that as I had lost a significant amount of weight and was continuing to do so, and I was very resistant (her terminology) to having cpap that she felt that it was best at this stage to discuss it with the consultant at my follow-up appointment... she said she wasn't sure whether he would agree with her or not but she felt he probably would. (I got the distinct impression that she knows her stuff and would have whacked me a machine as soon as blink if she knew I needed it! So I'm confident the Doc will be happy with things!)
So, I left , not with a cpap machine to take home for Christmas.,, but instead with an appointment for February 27th when I shall be told whether or not I need to go through it again with cpap. By then I shall have lost at least another 3 stone and that, she believes, will probably resolve my apnea problem! She said if I was to have a machine it would only have been a temporary measure!
I can't express HOW happy I am!! I am over the moon!! Delighted!! I feel that these months of dieting have been so worth it! I shall NEVER put this weight on again and will lose more and more to make sure that I NEVER have to have the dreaded machine!
I'm sorry if my being elated offends any of you who do use the machine and find it a Godsend, but for me, it is the enemy! I have never made a secret of that!
I had friends praying for me and I have worked hard to lose the weight so far... and... given "Eric's" attitude last night I have also made the decision that he is not as lovely and kind as I first thought. Just a completely insensitive pri*k!
So... another naff thing crossed out of my life... and on with the weight loss and, hopefully, ultimately, an apnea free future... but not quite there yet.
I was absolutely convinced that I was going to be woken in the night and I know that the sleep technician/nurse would not have hesitated had she thought it necessary (she gave me a big pep talk before I went to bed about how important it is to have if needed!).
I gave her a massive hug and big beaming grin and drove the hour home with a mega smile and loud music!
So... onward toward Christmas without my spaceage box and tubilage! Hurrah!!!
Happy days!
