Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary
- Thread starter FatFairNForty(ish)
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Isobel1965
Gold Member
Oh dear, Jenny - I'm so sorry to hear your bad news.
I hope your friend recovers her full health quickly and that you're ok after such a terrible shock!
I hope your friend recovers her full health quickly and that you're ok after such a terrible shock!
FatFairNForty(ish)
Gold Member
Right.. first things first.. I have spoken to my friend (Debbie)'s hubby.. he was at her bedside when I rang... she had a massive stroke last night, at home., he was there and thought she had fainted, soon realised it was worse than a faint and called an ambulance. She has had a series of tests and been moved to their local hospital and the specialist unit therein. Scans have shown massive damage to the left side of her brain.. she has no movement on her right side at all and cannot speak. However, he has said, it is very early days yet.. and she is fighting hard.. and she is trying very very hard to speak. She has managed to communicate that she can hear everything, understands and also that a book her sister brought in for her, she has already read 
So.. it isn't all doom and gloom, however.. it is very serious indeed and will be a case of waiting and seeing as to how she improves.. he asked if I would like to speak to her but that she would not be able to reply.. so I did.. and I have to say.. she tried so hard to reply, I could hear her make a noise.. I was glad that he took the phone back and we said our goodbyes with his promising to text me her ward (they are moving her tonight) and news.. I sobbed when I hung up.. I am just so shocked.. and to hear her try to speak just made my heart break for her. She and I talk for hours when we talk.. you know? This is going to be so very hard for her, on so many levels.. and on him and on their 2 beautiful children too. I asked when would it be ok to visit and he said to leave it at least a week, so I shall but the urge to jump in the car and blat down there this afternoon was so damn strong! If he had said this weekend I would have been there.. (which is why I posted on the Newcastle thread that I might not be able to go)...as he has said a week.. I shall probably go down next weekend (the 13th). Incredibly (and isn't it odd how life does this...) earlier this evening my friend Richard (who lives in Ashford - same as Debbie and her hub!) called in on his way home from visiting his sister and family up in Yorkshire for new year!!! He had received a call from the same friend (Ian) about Debs and was equally shocked. We chatted and he is moving house on the 8th Jan and said if I go down I can crash at his place (have to take airbed and sleeping bag as he has no furniture - long story but basically... he had a house, lots of old but not nice furniture.. sold house, got rid of furniture.. just bought new house..) for the night and we can go and visit Deb together. To be honest I am so relieved as I didn't fancy the drive there and back in a day nor the drive home alone after the hospital visit. I might even see if I can take a coach as it will save on mileage in my car and fuel.. might have a look at bus/train times/costs... Anyway.. I thought how providential it was for Richard to appear unannounced like that at a time when a mutual friend is in need!! Not only that but when I asked where his sister lived he told me Cleckheaton!! My parents were both brought up there! lol So.. lost of chatting went on (I missed the end of Pride & Prejudice.. lol.. gotta love Colin Firth in those jodphurs (sp?) and wet shirt... .. and then Richard left.
I have so much to share with you all.. most of it dull but I wanted to let you know that I am a lot more positive about Debs than when the initial call came (it doesn't help that the messenger is a notorious harbinger of doom and gloom.. we all have one in our lives I would guess!). Thank you so very very much for your thoughts and prayers.. as you know, I believe in the power of prayers.. so please.. pray to your God for a miraculous recovery for Debbie.. (I also believe in miracles.. )
So.. it isn't all doom and gloom, however.. it is very serious indeed and will be a case of waiting and seeing as to how she improves.. he asked if I would like to speak to her but that she would not be able to reply.. so I did.. and I have to say.. she tried so hard to reply, I could hear her make a noise.. I was glad that he took the phone back and we said our goodbyes with his promising to text me her ward (they are moving her tonight) and news.. I sobbed when I hung up.. I am just so shocked.. and to hear her try to speak just made my heart break for her. She and I talk for hours when we talk.. you know? This is going to be so very hard for her, on so many levels.. and on him and on their 2 beautiful children too. I asked when would it be ok to visit and he said to leave it at least a week, so I shall but the urge to jump in the car and blat down there this afternoon was so damn strong! If he had said this weekend I would have been there.. (which is why I posted on the Newcastle thread that I might not be able to go)...as he has said a week.. I shall probably go down next weekend (the 13th). Incredibly (and isn't it odd how life does this...) earlier this evening my friend Richard (who lives in Ashford - same as Debbie and her hub!) called in on his way home from visiting his sister and family up in Yorkshire for new year!!! He had received a call from the same friend (Ian) about Debs and was equally shocked. We chatted and he is moving house on the 8th Jan and said if I go down I can crash at his place (have to take airbed and sleeping bag as he has no furniture - long story but basically... he had a house, lots of old but not nice furniture.. sold house, got rid of furniture.. just bought new house..) for the night and we can go and visit Deb together. To be honest I am so relieved as I didn't fancy the drive there and back in a day nor the drive home alone after the hospital visit. I might even see if I can take a coach as it will save on mileage in my car and fuel.. might have a look at bus/train times/costs... Anyway.. I thought how providential it was for Richard to appear unannounced like that at a time when a mutual friend is in need!! Not only that but when I asked where his sister lived he told me Cleckheaton!! My parents were both brought up there! lol So.. lost of chatting went on (I missed the end of Pride & Prejudice.. lol.. gotta love Colin Firth in those jodphurs (sp?) and wet shirt...
.. and then Richard left. I have so much to share with you all.. most of it dull but I wanted to let you know that I am a lot more positive about Debs than when the initial call came (it doesn't help that the messenger is a notorious harbinger of doom and gloom.. we all have one in our lives I would guess!). Thank you so very very much for your thoughts and prayers.. as you know, I believe in the power of prayers.. so please.. pray to your God for a miraculous recovery for Debbie.. (I also believe in miracles..
)
kati
Gold Member
wow so sorry for your friend that must be awful for her and her family (and friends too) to be going through specially at such a young age. I hope she manages to get some movement and speech baack.
Glad you'll still be coming to Newcastle, I hope you'll still enjoy yourself even though I know you will be worrying about her.
Glad you'll still be coming to Newcastle, I hope you'll still enjoy yourself even though I know you will be worrying about her.
cazmaz_irl
Banned
Hi Jennie,
Really glad to hear the update on your friend, thank god she is able to communicate with her family, that would have been the worst outcome, for her to be lying there not been able to communicate would have made it worst for her, hopefully she will have a speedy recovery, without the need for a miracle...but hey if its a miracle she needs then its a miracle we'll ask for.
Really glad to hear the update on your friend, thank god she is able to communicate with her family, that would have been the worst outcome, for her to be lying there not been able to communicate would have made it worst for her, hopefully she will have a speedy recovery, without the need for a miracle...but hey if its a miracle she needs then its a miracle we'll ask for.
MadamDotty
Back again!
Hi Jennie
So glad to hear that things are quite as bad as you dreaded. Will pray for your friend & that she makes a speedy recovery. She has her youth & strength on her side and so hopefully will make a good recovery. My father had a stroke years ago, in his 60s, and he make a complete recovery. A tough time for you ahead worrying about her & her family, just remember to be kind to yourself & come on her & post away when you need some support, love & friendship.
Take care
xx
So glad to hear that things are quite as bad as you dreaded. Will pray for your friend & that she makes a speedy recovery. She has her youth & strength on her side and so hopefully will make a good recovery. My father had a stroke years ago, in his 60s, and he make a complete recovery. A tough time for you ahead worrying about her & her family, just remember to be kind to yourself & come on her & post away when you need some support, love & friendship.
Take care
xx
cah-ching
Gold Member
FatFairNForty(ish)
Gold Member
Thanks all.. am at work and cannot think straight.. partly because of my friend's situation, partly coz I'm tired and partly coz of Mr K (going great guns.. meeting him very soon and so nervous about it!)...
I have my first session at the gum this afternoon so that will help keep my mind occupied. My "harbinger of doom" rang again last night to tell me that Deb's hubby had been given a leaflet about what to expect... and.. when my friend read it she cried... my heart is very heavy for her.. and although I am positive, I am also realistic.. they have said that the results of the scans indicate a full recovery will not happen. They are already discussing ways to adapt their home for wheelchair access etc.. so.. a partial recovery is the best they say to hope for,. but you know what! I am hoping for a full one regardless!! So there!
Other stuff in my life seems pretty irrelevant now.. the house gig I was going to rave and drone on about.. the aftermath.. the visit to my mother on NYE.. my night out on NYE.. yesterday.. today...
Only things that matter to me at the moment are (ironically) sticking to this diet.. looking after my girls.. and continuing with Mr K. I can't seem to think beyond all that. I just feel this is an enormous wake up call to get my head in order and sort out what is important in my life and to look after it!
I was getting to that kind of way of thinking anyway (albeit very gradually).. hence the stop off in Scarborough on Friday (hope we don't get snow and ice!!).. en route to Newcastle... I only have the one nana..and, even though she is a cantankerous old yorkshirewoman.. lol.. I still love her and want to see she's ok.
I'm giving the job in London some very serious thought.. and with Mr K... well.. he figures enormously in things at the moment.. and, once we meet, I shall know in my heart what to do for the best on that front. His situation is complex, mine is not, that seems to be the only difference between us.
I have lots of questions about him and about how I feel.. but .. I know they will sound ridiculous if put on here so will drone on to me mates on the phone about it all.. lol All I can say is this.. he is thoughtful and loving... and makes me smile and tingle inside.. he calls me every day.. texts me too.. sends me messages online.. and has written love poems to me... his home life is horrendous right now.. and that is a major concern to me.. his children are all grown up, which is fabulous as far as I am concerned.. he is witty and funny and so clever.. every single time we communicate we have more and more to say to one another.. if things continue as they are .. well.. let's just say.. this will be an amazing year for us both.. on many many levels.. I am scared and excited all at once. I am happy and frustrated, nervous and strangely confident. I know, I'm rambling, and I can't think straight! Am even off me food! (lol, oh, no.. that's not him.. lol.. that's CD! lolol)
Anyway.. might do a big rambling waffly post later on today and catch up on my diary.. then again.. I might be too knacked after the gym! lol
Thank you for your kindness and especially MD for your comments about posting on here.. I know I have been a lot quieter than normal of late... but I have been very reflective.. and sometimes I feel it best not to say anything at all.. it's been an odd week really...
I have my first session at the gum this afternoon so that will help keep my mind occupied. My "harbinger of doom" rang again last night to tell me that Deb's hubby had been given a leaflet about what to expect... and.. when my friend read it she cried... my heart is very heavy for her.. and although I am positive, I am also realistic.. they have said that the results of the scans indicate a full recovery will not happen. They are already discussing ways to adapt their home for wheelchair access etc.. so.. a partial recovery is the best they say to hope for,. but you know what! I am hoping for a full one regardless!! So there!
Other stuff in my life seems pretty irrelevant now.. the house gig I was going to rave and drone on about.. the aftermath.. the visit to my mother on NYE.. my night out on NYE.. yesterday.. today...
Only things that matter to me at the moment are (ironically) sticking to this diet.. looking after my girls.. and continuing with Mr K. I can't seem to think beyond all that. I just feel this is an enormous wake up call to get my head in order and sort out what is important in my life and to look after it!
I was getting to that kind of way of thinking anyway (albeit very gradually).. hence the stop off in Scarborough on Friday (hope we don't get snow and ice!!).. en route to Newcastle... I only have the one nana..and, even though she is a cantankerous old yorkshirewoman.. lol.. I still love her and want to see she's ok.
I'm giving the job in London some very serious thought.. and with Mr K... well.. he figures enormously in things at the moment.. and, once we meet, I shall know in my heart what to do for the best on that front. His situation is complex, mine is not, that seems to be the only difference between us.
I have lots of questions about him and about how I feel.. but .. I know they will sound ridiculous if put on here so will drone on to me mates on the phone about it all.. lol All I can say is this.. he is thoughtful and loving... and makes me smile and tingle inside.. he calls me every day.. texts me too.. sends me messages online.. and has written love poems to me... his home life is horrendous right now.. and that is a major concern to me.. his children are all grown up, which is fabulous as far as I am concerned.. he is witty and funny and so clever.. every single time we communicate we have more and more to say to one another.. if things continue as they are .. well.. let's just say.. this will be an amazing year for us both.. on many many levels.. I am scared and excited all at once. I am happy and frustrated, nervous and strangely confident. I know, I'm rambling, and I can't think straight! Am even off me food! (lol, oh, no.. that's not him.. lol.. that's CD! lolol)
Anyway.. might do a big rambling waffly post later on today and catch up on my diary.. then again.. I might be too knacked after the gym! lol
Thank you for your kindness and especially MD for your comments about posting on here.. I know I have been a lot quieter than normal of late... but I have been very reflective.. and sometimes I feel it best not to say anything at all.. it's been an odd week really...
MadamDotty
Back again!
You're very welcome Jennie, lovely to hear that you've got something really good going on at the moment to help balance out the awful stuff. Isn't that the way, we can be so happy and excited and yet unhappy and scared all at the same time.
Keep hoping for that miracle for your friend, they do happen, let's hope she has one, she has a tough road ahead of her, but at least she has your support, that'll mean a lot to her.
Mr K could be just what you need right now, enjoy it.
You're right, it does often take a biggie like this to make you realise that we do have to live for each day & appreciate what we have. It's so easy to get caught up in everyday, and usually trivial things and forget what wonders we do have in our lives.
Take care
x
Keep hoping for that miracle for your friend, they do happen, let's hope she has one, she has a tough road ahead of her, but at least she has your support, that'll mean a lot to her.
Mr K could be just what you need right now, enjoy it.
You're right, it does often take a biggie like this to make you realise that we do have to live for each day & appreciate what we have. It's so easy to get caught up in everyday, and usually trivial things and forget what wonders we do have in our lives.
Take care
x
FatFairNForty(ish)
Gold Member
Thanks - as ever MD you are such a sweetheart xxx
you are such a sweetheart xxx
DQ
Queen of the Damned
Some things you have control over, and keeping that control helps you deal with the other stuff. Broke my heart hearing about your friend and can only imagine how difficult it has been for you. Keep strong Jennie
pandora
finding my way again !
Jennie, i am continuing to think about you & Debbie,take comfort that she is in a specialist unit & she will be getting the best treatment there rather than in a general ward. the sooner she is getting treatment the better the prognosis. She is lucky her hubby was with her & realised quickly the situation
(((((hugs)))))
(((((hugs)))))
FatFairNForty(ish)
Gold Member
Right.... time to try and bring this diary up to date!!
I kind of lost the plot back there on Friday I think!! lol It was the gig!! As you know.. I got the food all done and dished up and then I went and had a very hurried shower and then, before I knew it the lads had arrived! It was lovely to see them again - Terry and Piet. Next came the guests... by now 4 had cried off!! (all that food!!)... anyway.. eventually all were assembled.. drinks in hand and Terry and Piet began... well... it was bliss! They played for ages... joked, chatted, sang.. the damn dog was a pain in the proverbial as he kept whining outside Zoë's bedroom door! (she had taken herself upstairs with a tray piled high with her selection from the feast I'd prepared!)..
In the end, I had to ring her to ask her to let the dog in! (I could hardly call up to her as it would have meant going past the guys and so, instead I snuck into the kitchen and argued with her on the phone as to why she should have the mutt in her room!) lol She let him in.
The music and laughter continued and then they had a break (for food and glass filling!).. the food was very well received.. I must admit I was envious as the chicken tikka smelt particularly scrummy!! Ho hum.. so.. glasses refilled, bellys likewise and we were into the second part of the evening.. you know what.. it was bliss... the christmas lights, candles, great friends and lovely music.. what more could you want on a cold winters night mid Christmas! I can see me organising another one of these for next year!
Finally the guys called it a night and the guests (well, most of them) left.. having said what a great time they had and how much they would love to come again.. one guy (who had never been to a house gig before) took Terry's details and I have a feeling will be booking him too.. you really should check out his website.. if you like Paul Weller kind of music... and even if you don't... listen with an open mind.. Terry Shaughnessy: Singer and Songwriter he also has a MySpace page too.. and I think there are sound clips, photos etc on both!
Regardless... once they had nearly all gone.. (there was me, Sarah, Lynda and Kerry) the guys got the guitars out again and sat chatting and singing and mucking about, Lynda left at 1, and, at 3am I gave the final guest (a beautiful young lady called Kerry - who had travelled up from Southampton) a lift back to her hotel.. and when I returned the guys and Sarah were sitting chatting and laughing in the living room.. during all this 'post gig' time I had been clearing up in the kitchen (no way I could face coming down on Saturday morning to all that food and mess!!!).. I put all the leftover curry, chilli and casserole into foil tins with lids, wrote what they were, and shoved them in the freezer.. the rest of it got put into bowls and covered with cling film and whacked into the fridge... or cupboards.. 3 dishwasher loads later.. and all was done! I showed Piet his room and Terry his.. and I finally got to bed around 4am... I was shattered! (BUT very happy).
I will put some pics on the gallery in an album (might take me a while to do it though!)..
So.. that was Friday Dec 29th...
I kind of lost the plot back there on Friday I think!! lol It was the gig!! As you know.. I got the food all done and dished up and then I went and had a very hurried shower and then, before I knew it the lads had arrived! It was lovely to see them again - Terry and Piet. Next came the guests... by now 4 had cried off!! (all that food!!)... anyway.. eventually all were assembled.. drinks in hand and Terry and Piet began... well... it was bliss! They played for ages... joked, chatted, sang.. the damn dog was a pain in the proverbial as he kept whining outside Zoë's bedroom door! (she had taken herself upstairs with a tray piled high with her selection from the feast I'd prepared!)..
In the end, I had to ring her to ask her to let the dog in! (I could hardly call up to her as it would have meant going past the guys and so, instead I snuck into the kitchen and argued with her on the phone as to why she should have the mutt in her room!) lol She let him in.
The music and laughter continued and then they had a break (for food and glass filling!).. the food was very well received.. I must admit I was envious as the chicken tikka smelt particularly scrummy!! Ho hum.. so.. glasses refilled, bellys likewise and we were into the second part of the evening.. you know what.. it was bliss... the christmas lights, candles, great friends and lovely music.. what more could you want on a cold winters night mid Christmas! I can see me organising another one of these for next year!
Finally the guys called it a night and the guests (well, most of them) left.. having said what a great time they had and how much they would love to come again.. one guy (who had never been to a house gig before) took Terry's details and I have a feeling will be booking him too.. you really should check out his website.. if you like Paul Weller kind of music... and even if you don't... listen with an open mind.. Terry Shaughnessy: Singer and Songwriter he also has a MySpace page too.. and I think there are sound clips, photos etc on both!
Regardless... once they had nearly all gone.. (there was me, Sarah, Lynda and Kerry) the guys got the guitars out again and sat chatting and singing and mucking about, Lynda left at 1, and, at 3am I gave the final guest (a beautiful young lady called Kerry - who had travelled up from Southampton) a lift back to her hotel.. and when I returned the guys and Sarah were sitting chatting and laughing in the living room.. during all this 'post gig' time I had been clearing up in the kitchen (no way I could face coming down on Saturday morning to all that food and mess!!!).. I put all the leftover curry, chilli and casserole into foil tins with lids, wrote what they were, and shoved them in the freezer.. the rest of it got put into bowls and covered with cling film and whacked into the fridge... or cupboards.. 3 dishwasher loads later.. and all was done! I showed Piet his room and Terry his.. and I finally got to bed around 4am... I was shattered! (BUT very happy).
I will put some pics on the gallery in an album (might take me a while to do it though!)..
So.. that was Friday Dec 29th...
FatFairNForty(ish)
Gold Member
Thanks guys... Debbie is showing good fighting signs.. and I did hear a bit of positive news today.. she was able to wiggle her toes on her right foot.. I take this as a very encouraging sign! I'm going down there next weekend and will be able to see for myself.. not a trip I am looking forward to but I want to see her and show her how much she (and her family) mean to so many people... but thank you... your support for me means a great deal, honestly. I know I have kept away from my diary for a few days.. but there was so much going on in my head it was for the best.. gave me time to think things through.. I know you'll understand..
FatFairNForty(ish)
Gold Member
Saturday 30th December 2006..
Mr K rang me at 8 to give me a wake-up call.. *girly smile... it is such a nice way to be woken up.. I had to get up to do breakfast for everyone before the guys headed home to Liverpool.. so.. an hour later I finally got out of bed, showered and headed (once again) for the kitchen! You know what.. I don't think I have ever spent so much time preparing and cooking food as I have since starting on CD!! Weird! I get SUCH a lot of pleasure from it too!! Anyway... Piet was up already and having his first cup of tea.. so I took his food order and went to wake Terry and then Sarah.. all awake and shuffling around the house (except for Zoe and her boyfriend who were fast asleep - oh, forgot to say, saw Zoe's boyfriend walking back from work at 3.15am and gave him a lift home.. very fortuitous (sp?).. ).. I cooked bacon rolls for Sarah (man they smelt yummy!)... fried egg sandwich for Piet and 2 cheese toasties for Terry.. everything smelt so damn good!! I had a muffin.. lol.. well, I had to have something! So, a toffee & walnut CD muffin it had to be! It was delish! Then I gave the guys their Christmas gifts of a special keyring each, reminded them to take with them the 20 odd cans of Fosters that were chilling in the back garden and helped load the car up and waved them cheerio! Still tired, and still very happy, I set off to the hairdressers to go blonder again!! Long story short (I know,,.makes a flippin change...) cost me another £18 but it was SO worth it, I felt heaps better afterwards! Tootled off to the Co-Op (by now we are talking about late afternoon - too much hair you see!).. and got essentials... loo rolls and bread! Went home, no sooner had I sat in the chair then I was asleep! Not sure when I woke up, but I came online and waiting for me was the most beautiful love poem from Mr K.. (sick buckets at the ready girls )... I cried! It was really sweet.. felt so very spoiled.. (I'm such a mug for words!!)... by now Zoe was up and about and Sarah had woken up a bit too.. lol.. so , I cooked them some lamb steaks, mash and veg.. and another muffin and some soup for me and then headed for bed. I was exhausted and had a lot to do the next day (New Years Eve).. !
See - I can keep it fairly brief if I must.. lol..
Mr K rang me at 8 to give me a wake-up call.. *girly smile... it is such a nice way to be woken up.. I had to get up to do breakfast for everyone before the guys headed home to Liverpool.. so.. an hour later I finally got out of bed, showered and headed (once again) for the kitchen! You know what.. I don't think I have ever spent so much time preparing and cooking food as I have since starting on CD!! Weird! I get SUCH a lot of pleasure from it too!! Anyway... Piet was up already and having his first cup of tea.. so I took his food order and went to wake Terry and then Sarah.. all awake and shuffling around the house (except for Zoe and her boyfriend who were fast asleep - oh, forgot to say, saw Zoe's boyfriend walking back from work at 3.15am and gave him a lift home.. very fortuitous (sp?).. ).. I cooked bacon rolls for Sarah (man they smelt yummy!)... fried egg sandwich for Piet and 2 cheese toasties for Terry.. everything smelt so damn good!! I had a muffin.. lol.. well, I had to have something! So, a toffee & walnut CD muffin it had to be! It was delish! Then I gave the guys their Christmas gifts of a special keyring each, reminded them to take with them the 20 odd cans of Fosters that were chilling in the back garden and helped load the car up and waved them cheerio! Still tired, and still very happy, I set off to the hairdressers to go blonder again!! Long story short (I know,,.makes a flippin change...) cost me another £18 but it was SO worth it, I felt heaps better afterwards! Tootled off to the Co-Op (by now we are talking about late afternoon - too much hair you see!).. and got essentials... loo rolls and bread! Went home, no sooner had I sat in the chair then I was asleep! Not sure when I woke up, but I came online and waiting for me was the most beautiful love poem from Mr K.. (sick buckets at the ready girls
)... I cried! It was really sweet.. felt so very spoiled.. (I'm such a mug for words!!)... by now Zoe was up and about and Sarah had woken up a bit too.. lol.. so , I cooked them some lamb steaks, mash and veg.. and another muffin and some soup for me and then headed for bed. I was exhausted and had a lot to do the next day (New Years Eve).. ! See - I can keep it fairly brief if I must.. lol..
