Hi all what fantastic support I'm starting yet again today :-00 ill tell you a little bit about myself I first got on scales at 35.4 stone :-00 in 2009 was the most I'd ever weighed my quality of life was horrible at that weight as you could imagine laughed at on street unable to walk long distance unless i used super market trolly n that was to fill with junk food :-000 I'd tried every diet under the sun well......I went in the end to a consultant to have a band fitted at that time I'd never had an op he was very concerned the surgeon as he'd never operated on someone who was as big as me :-00 he was willing to do it !! I wasn't happy for that to be done!! My auntie was a little overweight and stated lighter life was doing so well so though last resort ill try it if dont work then bk to op !! Well as my life was so rubbish I had to give it a go I was desperate to have a baby been trying for yrs but due to weight no periods was not happening unless I put the effort in !! Well started lighter life didn't tell a sole !! The weight fell off was so focused was amazing the way I felt was fantastic had such a long way to go lost 4 stone before anyone even noticed :-0 well went on with lighter life and lost an amazing 10 stone in 5 months but...... Got very stuck bored tbh a little cocky with it do few days eat binge it carried on like that not pushing the rest off so decided I needed a change n started Cambridge to help complete the rest of my journey !! my periods were now bk things were looking up I started great guns but yet again messed about had serious talks with myself took myself right bk to the start of reasons I want to be slim things I wanted to do places I wanted to visit but most of all feel like I fitted in ( normal size person ) as all my life from the age of 6 I'd been overweight I remember being on a diet the school nurse had put me on was salad and apple everyday about age of 7 was bloody horrible felt so hard done by think if honest where it all started and as got older I was not having anyone say what I was not allowed to eat!! eat I always ask myself why do I eat written down the feelings I have felt when I eat but have to be truthful there is no pattern happy sad depressed I eat for every occasion :-000 I just feel I have constantly destructing myself for no reason !! Anyway bk on Cambridge I went did the talk gave myself the big kick up ass I had come so far on bad days I'd have rows with myself not give any credit to myself on how bloody wonderful I had done !! This was it started yet again I'm not going say was a angel odd bit cheese chicken telling myself eat quick wont knock me out Ketosis 
) but I did really well set myself little tiny goals after all the mountain I had to climb when i started my journey I'd gone up it was down hill now !! I'm going on here sorry so much to say:-0 excuse my typing spelling grammar errors I'm rubbish at all that hope I'm making sense! Well I battled on for another 6 months taking my grant total of weigh loss to 20 stone )) my life was fantastic doing everything joined the gym was running every morning enjoying life a whole new me my loose skin was a massive issue looked disgusting couldn't look at myself the dreams of becoming the (normal person were not happening I was looking worse than I did before I felt! Was summer I couldn't wear any nice tops trousers due to everything showing and wobbling not nice :-((( seen gp applied to have all removed got refused was the end for me I felt as how can this be after all the work effort I've put in to end like this that every bloody diet sells you with you look amazing new clothes be able to do anything I know its my fault for getting so big and the results of this I'm left with :-(( so thought what's point but there was a point I felt fantastic fitter could do soo much I had gone from size 34-36 clothes to tiny 14 )) !! So reason to carry on and fight this finish last few stone maybe the skin will go bk I just wanted to get rid of the old fatty start again !! I was really putting effort into fitness loving the gym running setting targets still on Cambridge at the time one day I couldn't face a shake wasn't in common as some mornings I couldn't well that day I decided I needed prawns :-00 what hell that was about but was real need that night went to get weighed said to my consultant about that she said sure you're not pregnant ??? I said nah its never going happen she said think you need to do a test !! Well I'd tested that many times over yrs with false reading hoping praying that I was to be very disappointed I didn't bother thought period be here soon I'm just being piggy n not sticking to cb!! Few days pasted no period in the end I bought a cheap one It was bloody positive ))))))))) thought its wrong its faulty batch rushed out 4 more tests I was :/))))) didn't know how far anything but was amazing sooo pleased!! I even paid for date scan just to really make sure there really was a baby inside me and yes there was )))) I was 9 weeks having that scan was so fantastic I burst into tears I will never ever forget that feeling seeing the little heart beat to!! 5 days later I had blood loss rang doctors sent me for scan had one next day heart beat still there all ok ) very early but keep eye this was a fri on the Sunday I wasn't well lost lots n lots of blood went to hospital I'd lost the baby :-((((( ohhh I can't put into words of how I felt but my world had come to end though ive lost over20 stone to get pregnant and now it was here now it's gone !! Couldn't see ever getting on what was point I'd lost all weight my body looks bloody worse I'd lost a baby that's it Sod it ill get bk on the good old comfort food that ill help :-00 !! I booked a holiday before all this happened was a little goal I was aiming for I'd managed to gain about 1 stone :-00 before going on hols but still went let me hair down drinking everyday eating binge eating on stuff i didn't even like :-00 but was food my comfort because I could now I had told myself !! Ohhhh I'm going on here ill cut shorter try !! I had a fantastic holiday came bk managed to gain nearly 2 stone :-0000 but started all over again this bloody hick up was not going get better of me ill fight for my skin write to magazines papers ill find the money this has got to happen !! Baby well that Ill wait I didn't feel could cope with upset again !!! There i was again bk on it cb i was going great guns fighting skin with gp went to thinking positive sessions to help lost holiday weight id gained then started get little funny again on off on off was playing with it couldn't get grip with it didn't gain just wasn't loosing as much as should !! Well I started craving bloody prawns....... Yes I was pregnant :-00000 this time I was not letting this get to me it's all going go wrong anyway sod it I was prepared this time I went right off wagon ate everything n anything I wanted had date scan I was 7 weeks :-00 I soooo soooo wanted everything to be ok but other hand I felt it was going go wrong :-((( I got so scared weeks pasted I was still pregnant and as weeks pasted so did my eating the anything and everything mode I was in at the start :-00 I passed the first 3 months ))) but still in body self harm eating piling on pounds part of me saying its ok eat its all going to go Wrong anyway so you're ready for it other part going its ok eat healthy need to for the baby sake !! Mixed messages at hospital saying stay as You are be ok others saying need loose weight thought yet again I'm now getting extra treatment after loosing 20 stone still not fitting into the normal group no I ended up under a consultant because I had high bmi :-(((( gutted sooo wanted normal but hey I was passing weeks n alls still looking good every day so scared checking for blood every few mins that went on for months in fact the whole 9 so did the eating for England :-0000 !! I managed to gain 10 stone just before I gave birth I weighed 26 + stone didnt know for sure exact weight didn't want to :- 000!! I had phone call from one born Everymin would I appear in the new tv program tell my story film birth inspire people ect ect well I said yes but didn't know it was a super size mum special I was on ......... I had my dream come true a beautiful baby girl that I'd been wanting and trying for nearly 10 yrs ))))))))))!! So after we home been filmed I decided I gotta get weight off before that goes on tv I soooo soooo didn't want it shown so gutted I'd gained that much weight got to super size again this wasn't my plan I wanted to be on tv for worlds biggest weight loss (joking ) but not for worlds fattest girl gives birth :-000 !!! I'm still going on sorry all !! Well I got straight bk on cb (not that was allowed ) but had loads of packs still enough to keep me going Chanel 4 came to see me show my friends family the show before was put on tv !!:-00000 I'd signed before all this so was no going bk I hated it sooo much was disgusted at it how the hell had I done this to myself my poor baby being shown on tv her super size mum :-(( I had few more months before it was shown didn't tell anyone I was going on it so hoping not many would watch it!! Well I was going and going for on cb before it was shown I'd lost 7 stone )) date was given it was being shown I went out for the evening with a friend who I new didn't want to see it as I'd said I didn't want he to !! My phone was flat out messages omg just seen you on tv fb loads messages well everyone new :-(((( cringe the reviews from friends family were really positive I'd recorderd it at home to watch when I felt ready !! But that nite got in and bloody watched it made me feel even worse I'd not seen it in full the version I'd seen still had to be edited :-0000 narrator super morb me was all other lady's overweight hated I'd tried so hard to be normal this was destroying everything I'd been trying to do !! But I'd got a beautiful baby girl not lost sight on that she's my world my everything ......... Today 14 months later I now weigh 14 stone but still playing a little bk on cb yesterday to loose the final bit as I'm having a tummy tuck in July removal of loose skin )))) hope I've not bored you once again please excuse all my spelling grammar hope you can make some sense of my story :-00 good luck to you all its bloody hard going cb but works for sure dont stop that little bit will knock you out and a bad day can sometimes lead to bad week keep going xx
) but I did really well set myself little tiny goals after all the mountain I had to climb when i started my journey I'd gone up it was down hill now !! I'm going on here sorry so much to say:-0 excuse my typing spelling grammar errors I'm rubbish at all that hope I'm making sense! Well I battled on for another 6 months taking my grant total of weigh loss to 20 stone )) my life was fantastic doing everything joined the gym was running every morning enjoying life a whole new me my loose skin was a massive issue looked disgusting couldn't look at myself the dreams of becoming the (normal person were not happening I was looking worse than I did before I felt! Was summer I couldn't wear any nice tops trousers due to everything showing and wobbling not nice :-((( seen gp applied to have all removed got refused was the end for me I felt as how can this be after all the work effort I've put in to end like this that every bloody diet sells you with you look amazing new clothes be able to do anything I know its my fault for getting so big and the results of this I'm left with :-(( so thought what's point but there was a point I felt fantastic fitter could do soo much I had gone from size 34-36 clothes to tiny 14 )) !! So reason to carry on and fight this finish last few stone maybe the skin will go bk I just wanted to get rid of the old fatty start again !! I was really putting effort into fitness loving the gym running setting targets still on Cambridge at the time one day I couldn't face a shake wasn't in common as some mornings I couldn't well that day I decided I needed prawns :-00 what hell that was about but was real need that night went to get weighed said to my consultant about that she said sure you're not pregnant ??? I said nah its never going happen she said think you need to do a test !! Well I'd tested that many times over yrs with false reading hoping praying that I was to be very disappointed I didn't bother thought period be here soon I'm just being piggy n not sticking to cb!! Few days pasted no period in the end I bought a cheap one It was bloody positive ))))))))) thought its wrong its faulty batch rushed out 4 more tests I was :/))))) didn't know how far anything but was amazing sooo pleased!! I even paid for date scan just to really make sure there really was a baby inside me and yes there was )))) I was 9 weeks having that scan was so fantastic I burst into tears I will never ever forget that feeling seeing the little heart beat to!! 5 days later I had blood loss rang doctors sent me for scan had one next day heart beat still there all ok ) very early but keep eye this was a fri on the Sunday I wasn't well lost lots n lots of blood went to hospital I'd lost the baby :-((((( ohhh I can't put into words of how I felt but my world had come to end though ive lost over20 stone to get pregnant and now it was here now it's gone !! Couldn't see ever getting on what was point I'd lost all weight my body looks bloody worse I'd lost a baby that's it Sod it ill get bk on the good old comfort food that ill help :-00 !! I booked a holiday before all this happened was a little goal I was aiming for I'd managed to gain about 1 stone :-00 before going on hols but still went let me hair down drinking everyday eating binge eating on stuff i didn't even like :-00 but was food my comfort because I could now I had told myself !! Ohhhh I'm going on here ill cut shorter try !! I had a fantastic holiday came bk managed to gain nearly 2 stone :-0000 but started all over again this bloody hick up was not going get better of me ill fight for my skin write to magazines papers ill find the money this has got to happen !! Baby well that Ill wait I didn't feel could cope with upset again !!! There i was again bk on it cb i was going great guns fighting skin with gp went to thinking positive sessions to help lost holiday weight id gained then started get little funny again on off on off was playing with it couldn't get grip with it didn't gain just wasn't loosing as much as should !! Well I started craving bloody prawns....... Yes I was pregnant :-00000 this time I was not letting this get to me it's all going go wrong anyway sod it I was prepared this time I went right off wagon ate everything n anything I wanted had date scan I was 7 weeks :-00 I soooo soooo wanted everything to be ok but other hand I felt it was going go wrong :-((( I got so scared weeks pasted I was still pregnant and as weeks pasted so did my eating the anything and everything mode I was in at the start :-00 I passed the first 3 months ))) but still in body self harm eating piling on pounds part of me saying its ok eat its all going to go Wrong anyway so you're ready for it other part going its ok eat healthy need to for the baby sake !! Mixed messages at hospital saying stay as You are be ok others saying need loose weight thought yet again I'm now getting extra treatment after loosing 20 stone still not fitting into the normal group no I ended up under a consultant because I had high bmi :-(((( gutted sooo wanted normal but hey I was passing weeks n alls still looking good every day so scared checking for blood every few mins that went on for months in fact the whole 9 so did the eating for England :-0000 !! I managed to gain 10 stone just before I gave birth I weighed 26 + stone didnt know for sure exact weight didn't want to :- 000!! I had phone call from one born Everymin would I appear in the new tv program tell my story film birth inspire people ect ect well I said yes but didn't know it was a super size mum special I was on ......... I had my dream come true a beautiful baby girl that I'd been wanting and trying for nearly 10 yrs ))))))))))!! So after we home been filmed I decided I gotta get weight off before that goes on tv I soooo soooo didn't want it shown so gutted I'd gained that much weight got to super size again this wasn't my plan I wanted to be on tv for worlds biggest weight loss (joking ) but not for worlds fattest girl gives birth :-000 !!! I'm still going on sorry all !! Well I got straight bk on cb (not that was allowed ) but had loads of packs still enough to keep me going Chanel 4 came to see me show my friends family the show before was put on tv !!:-00000 I'd signed before all this so was no going bk I hated it sooo much was disgusted at it how the hell had I done this to myself my poor baby being shown on tv her super size mum :-(( I had few more months before it was shown didn't tell anyone I was going on it so hoping not many would watch it!! Well I was going and going for on cb before it was shown I'd lost 7 stone )) date was given it was being shown I went out for the evening with a friend who I new didn't want to see it as I'd said I didn't want he to !! My phone was flat out messages omg just seen you on tv fb loads messages well everyone new :-(((( cringe the reviews from friends family were really positive I'd recorderd it at home to watch when I felt ready !! But that nite got in and bloody watched it made me feel even worse I'd not seen it in full the version I'd seen still had to be edited :-0000 narrator super morb me was all other lady's overweight hated I'd tried so hard to be normal this was destroying everything I'd been trying to do !! But I'd got a beautiful baby girl not lost sight on that she's my world my everything ......... Today 14 months later I now weigh 14 stone but still playing a little bk on cb yesterday to loose the final bit as I'm having a tummy tuck in July removal of loose skin )))) hope I've not bored you once again please excuse all my spelling grammar hope you can make some sense of my story :-00 good luck to you all its bloody hard going cb but works for sure dont stop that little bit will knock you out and a bad day can sometimes lead to bad week keep going xx
