ProPoints CarlyLanky140's Weight Loss Journey (28/155lbs)

Sooooo excited lol! Shame i am technically on call all the time ;( x
 
Sounds lovely Jo :) I'm gonna enjoy a few treats and then probably wrap up and choc as presents lol! I will get to goal in 2012! X
 
Thanks Sweetie :) Merry Christmas!! See u on 31st xx
 
Thanks Jen!

Having a lovely day! Been spoilt! :D gonna get bk to ww tomorrow... Got meal out wed and out with Nikki in Glasgow on NYE but otherwise gonna try to be good :) cx
 
Excellent, glad you're being spoilt! I have taken today completely guilt free and off plan... Woohoo! I think we're well entitled to a couple of relaxed-plan days at this time of year!!

Right..... Time to attack the cheeseboard! Mwah x
 
Enjoy :) x
 
Thanks :) having the boxing day blues,.. Just tired and tearful and snapping at everyone! I hate that one minute they are ramming food down my throat and next time are watching every mouthful and nagging :( just feel like utter rubbish! X
 
Omg yes, mine too.. ironically mum watches me like a hawk while shovelling more Christmas pudding and double cream!!!

Deep breath Carly, its a few strange days for food.. we'll sion be back on our plans and back on track x
 
Thanks hun x
 
Thanks Jo! Families are stressful! C
 
This is going to be a long and rambling post... It's one where u don't really mind if u get a reply but u just need to say all that's on ur mind....

I tried my best to buy gifts my friends would like... And I got generic tat from people who clearly don't kno me at all! Think the ultimate present is a Houdini puzzle key... Please someone tell me what possessed my friend to waste his money? I kno I sound like an ungrateful cow... And looking back some of the pressies I bought weren't amazing but I really tried and thought about each person! :( anyways enough of that.... I got some lovely lovely things :) I love Christmas but boxing day is depressing.... It's all over and bk to work... I wish my family were like that all year.. No bickering just fun and playing games together not all 4 of us in 4 separate rooms... When I have kids I want a proper family!!!! I want to do anything for them and go to all their plays etc... But even saying that is depressing... All my friends have boyfriends/husbands and houses ... Fair few have kids... And I couldn't be further from all of those things....

I'm repulsive.... I hate how I look... But I'm so skint that I'm worried to lose weight coz I can't afford clothes!!!

My job works me so hard and every day I feel like I can't do it... I feel sick at the thought of going bk... The thought of work till August makes me panic... But in so terrified that if I try teaching it won't be right... How do u kno before u do it?!

Then my little sister who I love and trust and always bounce things off makes a flippant remark "there are only do many times you can say im bored of this" - why does no-one understand that my previous jobs were all a means to an end... Were never meant to be long term..... I left one job a month before I was meant to because I was bullied so badly that I had to go on antidepressants I couldn't sleep so feel asleep at work... I only just weened myself off the damn things 4 years later....

Why does no-one see?!?! I try hard at everything I do... Right now I feel like I'm just waiting to slip up and drop one ball
And all of them will fall.... I work 10-12 hours a day plus 2 hours driving time... I'm exhausted and fed up... I just don't feel like I can do the job... There is always something new to learn and I can't cope!!! Then my darling sis says "how do you know every job won't be like that?" arghhhhhh - does anyone have a clue what I do?! What I need to know?!

Sorry I sound ridiculous... Just needed to vent....

These new job offers are good... But obviously the same job.... Just nearer to home so save £150-200 a month on petrol and £2-5k more a year... But I'm do scared the new place will see how sh*t I am or will expect too much... And worried I will have to pay money bk to either of both for training if I do leave in Aug for teaching...

Most of all I'm fed up of the lack of support from my family and supposed best friends....

I just need to decide....

Resolutions
1. Sort job/career
2. Get to goal weight by new year (and as low as poss before being a bridesmaid)
3. Learn to love myself!


If u read this far u get a medal for reading that self indulgent rubbish! Lol

Snap out of it Carly!

Love to all my Minimins friends

Xxx

I
 
Feeling better! Still lots to think about but much more rational lol x
 
Hi Carly - firstly, thank you so much for the message you sent me on Xmas Day, and secondly, sorry that I've not been about at all.

I always think Christmas and NY is so tough because you reflect on the year gone by and what you wanted to do, or didn't do - you are an amazing person with an incredibly difficult job and I think you should be proud of what you've achieved. You're intelligent, gorgeous and focused and I think you need to remember those things. Whatever you do in life, you will be successful - you have been so far :)

xxx
 
Thanks darling :) that's lovely! Welcome bk xx
 
Thanks Jo :Dxx
 
Happy New Year Jen.. is it cold?! Oh dear lol... don't normally take a coat out... bad plan?!

U should come to Glasgow and meet us :D That's why I was asking where u lived haha


well by some small miracle I have lost 1lb! totally didn't deserve it but I will take it :D so just NYE out and NYD we have a big sunday dinner... but then 4 good days.. so hoping for sts/ sneaky loss.... then taking on 2012!!

I have so much work to do before I go back... have this big portfolio to submit for an exam on 6th and wont have time to do when back at work... best get working on it lol...xx
 
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