Cass's Diary

[SunshineCass]

Quote of the day:


"Regret comes in all shapes and sizes. Some are small like when we do a bad thing for a good reason. Some are bigger like when you let down a friend.

Some of us escape the pain of regret by making the right choice. Some of us have little time for regret because we're looking forward to the future. Sometimes we have to fight to come to terms with the past, and sometimes we bury our regret by promising to change your own ways.

But, our biggest regrets are not for the things we did -- but, for the things we didn't do. Things we didn't say that could've save someone that we care about. Especially when we can see the dark storm that's headed their way."


So not too long to go, it has deffinately been a while since I’ve been on here but I havn’t really had the chance to do so. I hope everyone is doing well, I shall try to catch up on everyone’s diaries etc. after I have posted this.

Not an awful lot has been happening. I can confirm I’m happy and this move has possibly been the best thing I have ever done. I feel a lot more independent now and I’m trying to find a job. I have the odd interviews etc but nothing seems to promising as of yet.

Absoloutely love the new councellor and the group. I love how small the group is, I actually feel like I’m able to express how I feel rather than just shy away from it all.

I’ve now lost 11 stone 10lbs. Offically in a size 20 bottoms (never thought I’d see the day). I’ve loved trying on smaller clothes! It feels amazing. I’ve posted a before and now pic in my album for you to see if you want. (hopefully I work out how to do it lol!)

Weigh in tonight, just 74lb to go. Gawd it’s taking it’s time lol. Good luck everyone for weigh ins this week.

Cass.xoxo

Edit: Updated pic is in an album now.

 

[LadyT]

Hey Cass, lovely to hear from you, so pleased the move was the right decision and LL is still working for you. Congrats on the smaller clothes, you are doing brilliantly and the 74lbs will just melt away for sure xx

 

[Clarabow]

Oh WOW Cass!

Firstly congratulations on your move, sounds as if all is going really well. Big step but a positive one.

Secondly the weight loss OMG! I am speachless! Absolutely amazing. That has really insipired me as I have a good chunk to loose. Haven't had time to catch up on your whole blog, just caught the last bits, but over the next day or two will go back and have a proper read.

You rock lovely. Good luck in the job hunting. It will come x

 

[Clarabow]

Again I shall say .. WOW Cass !

Read your diary, pure enjoyment. Fabulous seeing ur success and what a change it has made in your life. I am awestruck. You are soo lucky to be doing this for you at such an early point in your life. The lessons you learn from lighter life and the counselling will set you up for the future.
.
Wouldnt it be great to appear in the magazine when you get to goal. You would be such an inspiration to others.

Hope you are coping well with the excitement and challenges of your move.

All the best my lovely xx

 

[SunshineCass]

Advice for the Day:

"Look away when using the jet wash on a car"

As you can see above I've changed from my "quote of the day" to "advice for the day". Well, today, i done something i hadn't done before... used a jet wash on a car. Note to self: NEVER do this again... when it's windy at least. I got a face full of it. YUM. Must say, I prefer the shakes... and bottled water.

I've moved on to having porridge for breakfast now. My taste buds are changing so much throughout my journey. I'm uncertain of what I'm going to like each week. So far i'm on vanilla and banana shakes, porridge and toffee bars. This week i tried the minestrone soup - it was okay but kind of sickly. I also tried the shepards pie OMG YUMMY, I'm kind of glad it isnt meat though as i think i wont be eating meat when i come off of the diet. My thoughts may change towards meat nearer the time but it's making me feel physically sick at the moment.


I went swimming yesterday, I managed 35 Lengths. Go me. Unfortunately my size 22 swimming cosy is slightly big now (those poor people @ the pool). I either need to get a new swimming cosy or hope that the people at the pool dont go blind if it slips. Jesus christ there's a thought.


Today hasn't been to bad, I havn't had the bsst of thoughts but have had some possitive news this week. I've got myself a job! YEs go me... I can hear you all clapping right this second! Okay i'm just kidding but it's nice to think you are . It's only a 6month contract but it's good pay. It's in the NHS, so when i first heard i was like OMG I GET AN NHS BADGE? My bf walked off at that point because he accused me of being "embarassing in public" hha not my fault she called me when i was out walking . It was strange because i was just on my way to an interview for an apprenticeship when she called me. I left a message for the person i was meant to see and he rang back saying that out of everyone he was looking forward to seeing me the most. Bonus! lol. Either way i'm super excited that i have a job now. Just have to wait for the paper work to be done then i'm a busy busy bee. I have a training day on may 26th and i cant wait!


I guess you have to go through low points to get to the high ones. God knows i've had my fair share. If i've had a bad day before LL i would've stuffed my face, now i look at how far i've come, how different i look and how proud i know i've made my parents. I don't feel like a dissapointment anymore, all thanks to LL and my right mindset to get through it.


Enjoy your weekend Ladies;


Cass.xoxo

 

[SunshineCass]

Again I shall say .. WOW Cass !

Read your diary, pure enjoyment. Fabulous seeing ur success and what a change it has made in your life. I am awestruck. You are soo lucky to be doing this for you at such an early point in your life. The lessons you learn from lighter life and the counselling will set you up for the future.
.
Wouldnt it be great to appear in the magazine when you get to goal. You would be such an inspiration to others.

Hope you are coping well with the excitement and challenges of your move.

All the best my lovely xx

Oooo i'd love to be in the magazine, nice little make over Glad you've enjoyed the read, i have enjoyed catching up on yours. xx

 

[MagdaX]

Glad to see you updating your diary again honey.
Really happy to see you're doing well

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[LadyT]

Hey Cass, that's fabulous news about the job things are really coming together for you and you are back online more often so that's an additional bonus xx

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[Clarabow]

Congratulations about the job. Fab news lovely xx

 

[HannahNewton]

Congratualtions on your new job!!

And... on your amazing weight loss - spectacular!! xx

 

[UmmZakaria]

I've just sat and read your whole diary and I am gobsmacked at how well you have done! Congratulations on getting a job, that must feel good - look how far you've come since starting LL, well done! You seem such a sweetie and I will continue reading your diary, I'm already desperately waiting for your next installment. You should you be SO proud of yourself, you're amazing xxx

 

[Julz]

Hi Cass
Congrats on the new job and the weightloss, you must feel as if you can achieve anything! You have proved you can, and so can we all if we put our minds in the right place.
Keep going, I'm quite new to LL so enjoy reading diaries from people who started before me, you are inspirational, losing over 11stone , AMAZING!!!
Jx

 

[Karamac]

I guess you have to go through low points to get to the high ones. God knows i've had my fair share. If i've had a bad day before LL i would've stuffed my face, now i look at how far i've come, how different i look and how proud i know i've made my parents. I don't feel like a dissapointment anymore, all thanks to LL and my right mindset to get through it.

Oh my goodness, honey - how on earth could you ever be a disappointment to ANYBODY? You are SO inspirational. An absolute marvel! Your determination and your strength absolutely shine through in your diary. You are one amazing lady. Keep doing what you're doing because you are certainly getting it right!!!!!

 

[Clarabow]

Hi Cass,

Know where you are comming from with being a disappointment. Sometimes it feels that when you are very big, no matter what you do, no matter how well you do it you are only judged on your size and your failure to be "normal". When I was growing up I was made to feel very uncomfortable about my weight by my family. God bless em they thought they were doing the best for me by trying to get me to loose weight, when in fact it made me worse. I felt terribly unloved and that no matter what I did I would never be good enough for them.

I was a bright girl and did well in school using that to achieve their positive regard. Turned me into a nightmare of an over achiever, total perfectionist when it comes to work and being a "good" person. Lovely to all at the cost of my own well being.

Anyway I got to talk to them about it a few years back. They had no idea that what they were doing was causing me such distress. God bless em they love me as I am and think I am wonderful. Being the traditional Welsh family, we were never too good at doing that. lol

Being big we get a similar reaction from society who only values the Kiera Knightly's of this world. The very slim, the very young and the very beautiful. This of course is all rubbish!

So remember you are wonderful, always have been wonderful and could never be a disappointment to anybody. When your dodgy thoughts are telling you otherwise tell em to get stuffed !

You rock Cass, whatever size you are. You are just choosing to be a healthier size for you. xx

 

[SunshineCass]

Oh my goodness, honey - how on earth could you ever be a disappointment to ANYBODY? You are SO inspirational. An absolute marvel! Your determination and your strength absolutely shine through in your diary. You are one amazing lady. Keep doing what you're doing because you are certainly getting it right!!!!!

I know, it's a psycological thing (spelling). I can't help it Just something i get in my head and can't seem to get out. Thank you for the support lovely xxx

 

[SunshineCass]

Hi Cass,

Know where you are comming from with being a disappointment. Sometimes it feels that when you are very big, no matter what you do, no matter how well you do it you are only judged on your size and your failure to be "normal". When I was growing up I was made to feel very uncomfortable about my weight by my family. God bless em they thought they were doing the best for me by trying to get me to loose weight, when in fact it made me worse. I felt terribly unloved and that no matter what I did I would never be good enough for them.

I was a bright girl and did well in school using that to achieve their positive regard. Turned me into a nightmare of an over achiever, total perfectionist when it comes to work and being a "good" person. Lovely to all at the cost of my own well being.

Anyway I got to talk to them about it a few years back. They had no idea that what they were doing was causing me such distress. God bless em they love me as I am and think I am wonderful. Being the traditional Welsh family, we were never too good at doing that. lol

Being big we get a similar reaction from society who only values the Kiera Knightly's of this world. The very slim, the very young and the very beautiful. This of course is all rubbish!

So remember you are wonderful, always have been wonderful and could never be a disappointment to anybody. When your dodgy thoughts are telling you otherwise tell em to get stuffed !

You rock Cass, whatever size you are. You are just choosing to be a healthier size for you. xx

Omg - exactly how i felt when i was younger. I used to always get weird looks etc when being out so it made me very self concious. My family were always polite about my size but now i get comments like "you're looking so well now" "you look amazing" then i start to think wait, did i not look amazing before? Lol, but i get what they mean. It wasn't healthy for me and tbh I would've had an early death . I didn't realise how big i was at the time. Avoiding mirrors was my favourite hobby!

Thanks for your kind words xxxx

 

[SunshineCass]

[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Quote of the day:

"Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world."

- [/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Harriet Tubman



First of all, thank you, to all of you lovely lady's who read my diary. I really appreciate your comments, at times, it's one of the things that keeps me going.

Bank holidays; what a DRAG. Did anybody watch the wedding on Friday? Much to my disgust - i couldn't keep my eyes off of it! I'd gone on for months about how ridiculous it was for every shop in town to have the displays up. As soon as it hit 29th April, there i was, sitting on the sofa at 10am with my bottle of water watching it! For three hours i sat there lol. I don't get what was so addictive but i have to say - she looked b-e-a-utifull! I couldn't help but look @ her figure. Her dress was amazing. Some day I'll look JUST as good in a wedding dress. (Don't fancy that being for a few years... same goes for children!)

Overall not doing anything most days is getting me down. Just the hope of my paperwork coming through the post is spuring me to carry on my days lol.

I've jam packed the weekend with catchups on all of my fav shows and when i ran out I had to resort to a hairdressing show on channel 4, which i loved btw 9 episodes of it! I got a LOT of water down yesterday though, all weekend in fact. My bf's mum was so bored on saturday she asked if i'd go out with her someplace. So off we went to trago mills which is a little shopping centre. It was lovely to get out and about.

I had a panic yesterday as my bank balance is lower than i thought. I need at least £140 pounds in there to get me through my diet until i start work/pay packet comes in. My boyfriend is paying the rest. So i had a meltdown when it was less. We've worked it out now but i think it's best that i keep an eye on my goings in/out so i created a spreadsheet.

I have my weigh in tonight, i'm sure my group will be pleased about me getting a job. So i can share that tonight. I am also going to rummage through the clothes box @ the meeting to see if i can find any work tops/trousers. If any one has work/office wear in a size 18 or 16 i'd be greatful! Lol. Until then i'm going to have to manage on really cheap blouses and a pair of trousers lol. Jeez i can't wait til i'm off this diet. I'll be rich!

Have a surveyer coming to the house today so i've had a cleanup of our room, it's spotless. Oh i've just realised my nail varnish is the same red as my laptop haha! (easily amused, excuse me).

Today i'm wearing JEGGINGS! omg! & a lightweight top. All in prep for my weigh in tonight. I wonder how much it'll be this week.

Enjoy your day lovely ladies!

Cass.xoxo[/FONT]

 

[LadyT]

Aw love reading your posts you sound so happy. I caught the dress for the royal wedding she looked so elegant and him handsome, I wanna be a princess lol

No clothes to offer got rid as soon as o could.

Have a fantastic day lovely xx

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[UmmZakaria]

I have a pair of 16 work trousers (long length?) and a 16 dress (knee length) - pm me if you'd like either of them or a photo of them before deciding, otherwise I'll take them to my next meeting Free to a good home x

I was the same with the wedding - thought the hype was crazy but sat there from 8-12.30! My toddler was going insane bless him, felt like such a bad mum!!!!

X

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[HannahNewton]

I have loads of size 18 work wear bagged up to go. Still wearing some 16's loose.

Let me know the sort of thing you want and I will post it to you if you pm me your details. xx