Cass's Diary

[SunshineCass]

What kind of job are you looking for Hun?
I need staff!


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Lol, anything and everything.

I'm an apprentice, so if you ever need one lol.

Doing admin/reception work atm. Wouldn't mind a different path though.


And TBSX

Cass.xoxo

 

[Boo1968]

What kind of job are you looking for Hun?
I need staff!


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Hiya Magiclove

Cass would make an excellent worker! I can vouch for that, she's hard working, loyal and wouldn't let you down, why not give her a go And I'm not just saying that because I'm her mum, its because its true xx Boo xx

 

[Boo1968]

Hiya Cass

I've forgotten my phone today so if you've text me I havent got it

I'm popping home at lunchtime tho ok xx Mum xx

 

[SunshineCass]

Hey mum, it's okay. I only asked one thing anyway .

Not going to be a long entry this afternoon as i've been busy. I have weigh in tonight. I'll have my office sorted tomorrow so I can update this properly.

Hope everyone's well.

Cass.xoxo

 

[ReezieJay]

Hey Cass
Good luck for tonight. Im sure youve done really well

 

[Pearl77]

I hope it went well you deserve it after a difficult week, and what an amazing weight loss overall!!! Very inspiring and so are your quotes too, thank you, I like reading them!!!

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[SunshineCass]

Quote of the Day:

"Most of our life is a series of images. They pass us by like towns on the highway. But sometimes a moment stuns us as it happens. And we know that this instant is more than a fleeting image. We know that this moment, every part of it, will live on forever.'"

Firstly, thanks Joy & Pearl x

Secondly, Good morning you lovely people.

So this morning hasn’t started off to be the best.. For a start – I remembered my shaker but forgot my shakes! D’oh!! Not to worry though as I will stock up on water today ;] I’ve starved for the past 5 months, I can do it for one day. Lol.

After a really weird day at work yesterday, I was thankful to get home. Unfortunately my mood was pants! Which resulted in me getting in an argument with the bf. Not a good start to the evening that’s for sure. Either way that argument had my mind set that I would simply get weighed tonight & get my packs only and miss my meeting – which I think is better for me otherwise I get far to irritated. So off I went, in mums car singing rather loudly to some music, nevous about how much I would lose tonight.
I stepped on the scales… My LLC smiled and said “well done sweet”. I lost 5lbs!! Taking my bmi to 39 (I know it says different on my ticket but I go by my LLC calculations ) I am not only OBESE instead of MORBIDLY OBESE. Yes! Pat on the back for me!!

This week I came away with, two new toffee bars, 10 strawberry, 5 banana, 4 vanilla, 4 mushroom and 3 chicken. A mix this week, which is what I’m pretty much liking atm. I had to double check with my LLC about milk week as I start it next Thursday for the second time. The last time I was on it, I was drinking 1.5 litres of milk a day. Skimmed milk. That’s what, 3 pints a day? That’s bloody expensive for 7 days a week. I lost 3lb that week. Last night I asked her how much it should be she said “a pint a day” WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTT a pint a day? So I spent so much money on milk and drank so much milk that I could’ve been a COW! So it’s now 1 pint a day. Wonder how much I’ll lose this time, might be more than 3lb lol!

Also, last night I put the new toffee bar in the freezer while I was on the phone to my bf sorting things. At around 9 I started watching skins. I had my Bottle of water, frozen toffee bar and omg yumyumyum is all I can say! It was delish . I will be trying that one again.

PLUS my dark navy coat now fits Yay! Well, it kind of does, the buttons do up. The bottom is open a bit but my other coat was ridiculously big and didn’t keep me warm at all. This is a size 22. So going from a size 32 to a 22 coat isn’t too bad is it? Should be able to get into 22 trousers soon, the pjs fit, but can’t say the same for the black trousers and jeans soon though!

Have a lovely day everyone,

Cass.xoxo

 

[LadyT]

Hey Cass, your diary is so honest and full of inspiration for us avid readers!

Your mindset must be really strong and I guess getting into smaller clothes is the incentive you need to keep it that way!

Do you see the change in yourself, the reason I ask is that I have heard people say they have lost a lot of weight and yet still see the same body they started with, has this been the case for you?

Tip for you, just before speaking to the BF, imagine you calling him and laughing and being happy when talking to him. There will be no failing out in sight!

x

 

[SunshineCass]

Hey Cass, your diary is so honest and full of inspiration for us avid readers!

Your mindset must be really strong and I guess getting into smaller clothes is the incentive you need to keep it that way!

Do you see the change in yourself, the reason I ask is that I have heard people say they have lost a lot of weight and yet still see the same body they started with, has this been the case for you?

Tip for you, just before speaking to the BF, imagine you calling him and laughing and being happy when talking to him. There will be no failing out in sight!

x

Thanks lovey xx

I think my mind set is strong atm because I've wanted to do this diet for years. Re the change in my appearance, i don't notice it but other people do, like my mum for example she'll say stuff like "you're looking slimmer today" which is lovely of her to say. Like i said though, i don't notice it as much. Although i can with certain things but it's usually like little things and random points like "OMG I HAVE KNEES" haha . I know i'm still big though. I was a huge weight to start with and i'm tall too so although i've lost alot it'll take a while for me to notice fully.

Thanks for the tip, i shall try that. Need to keeep my mood swings under control xxx

 

[SunshineCass]

Quote of the Day:

"You can choose to blame your circumstances on fate, bad luck or bad choices.
Or you can fight back. Things aren't always going to be fair in the real world. That's just the way it is. But for the most part, you get what you give. Rest of your life is being shaped right now. With the dreams you chase....The choices you make....and the person you decide to be. The rest of your life is a long time. And the rest of your life starts right now."

I don’t understand why my mood swings are getting worse. One day I’m fine the next I’m a horrible person. Why does it keep happening? It’s starting to really get me down. I don’t think people realise how mentally draining it is being on this diet. Obviously the people on it do, but when people who havn’t and expect you to be happy constantly… they know nothing. I’m so angry at the moment. So, so, so angry. I don’t know how to calm my self down and It’s worrying =[. I keep crying and feeling sorry for myself. Maybe it’s because it’s my totm soon, I don’t know. I just want all this mind drama to go away. Is that too much to ask? =[

Cass.xoxo

 

[MagdaX]

It's definitely the totm huni! The hormones are playing with you during that time. I get so so emotional and up and down during that time.
Be kind to yourself angel and just take it easy. This will not last!
X

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[Boo1968]

Hiya Cass

I'm sending you a big cuddle bubs ((((Cas)))), I think its the totm as we are usually the same time and I started this morning Anyhoo, you're doing really, really well, amazingly well in fact, just stop and think how far you have come and what obsticles you have overcome to get where you are now. I'm so very, very proud to call you my daughter

Hang in there bubs, its not the diet getting you down but the day to day stuff we all go through, if there's something you want to change, change it, you know you can do it xx love you soooo much xx Mum xxx

 

[LadyT]

Aw Cass your mum is great and speaks so much truth.

You are the maker of your own destiny, just remember that and focus on what you want to change, not in a negative way, put a positive twist to it. xx

 

[Pinkie :)]

Big hugs to you Cass... Hang in there hunny...

I'm quite irritable and stuff at the moment myself! Again, same totm as you roughly... stupid period! This diet is so emotionally draining, you're absolutely right! Especially if you're someone (like me) who uses food to deal with feeling emotional... Coz then it's a double whammy! We are having to do without food which we enjoy, but also what we have grown to rely on for comfort! And now it's not there... Food isn't just to keep me alive, it's my favourite thing, and I miss it! And it makes me angry too... but the journey you are on is an immense one, and you're doing so well hun... it's unbelievable!

We're all in awe of it... and maybe those who aren't on the diet, don't get exactly what you're going through, but it's ok... coz we all do... and we're here for you! Like you have been for us!!

I hope you are feeling a little better today anyway... and if not, and you still feel angry, yell, and scream, and get it out!! It feels good, and may get you back to feeling sane again! Hehe... It's worth a try!

Luv ya! xx

 

[SunshineCass]

Quotes of the day:

"Life comes at us from out of the darkness. And at times we can struggle to find the courage to face it."

And

"You ever heard the expression 'The best things in life are free.' Well that expression is true.' Every once in a while, people step up they rise above themselves sometimes they surprise you and sometimes they fall short. Life is funny sometimes. It can push pretty hard but if you look close enough, you can find hope in the words of children, in the bars of the song and in the eyes of someone you love. And if you're lucky, if you're the luckiest person on this entire planet, the person you love decides to love you back."

Friday
Friday, was by far, my worst day last week. I woke up in a horrible mood. Had an awful argument with my bf that resulted in me telling him that I was not going down there this weekend and that I wouldn’t be on the train there tonight. Everything annoyed me Friday. Any one of you get those days? You know the ones… where it seems like everyone is CHEWING extremely loudly... popping gum… slurping water. Etc etc. Well apparently there must have been a “free chewing gum” stall in front of my work because EVERYONE in my office had one. Friday I was at breaking point. Fed up of the diet, fed up of it not feeling like I’ve lost anything. I’m still fat. Everything I do is for everyone but myself. I’ve never been one to put myself before others; I always take care of myself last. I got a text from my friend on Friday who only ever texts me if she wants something, because I didn’t respond with what she wanted… I didn’t hear back from here. F*** it. Why should I be made to feel like crap? So Friday I decided im going to treat myself. Since my PC and my laptop are broken and have no chance of being fixed. I’m treating myself to a lovely new laptop. My bf was pleased about it but I don’t care. It’s something I want. It’s my money. The money I’ve earned and saved and most of my money ends up going on visits etc. I ended up going down there on Friday to try and sort things and Friday night seemed to go well. Caught up on one tree hill (my favouriteeeeeeeeeee – and gossip girl ) and how I met your mother.

Saturday
Had to go into town to buy my dad a birthday present as his birthday is the day before mine (his is 24th February). I got him some Hugo boss aftershave. Hugo boss shower gel (as it was free) and 3 little packets of chocolate raisins from thorntons as I know he loves these. Got a new bed set from primark. It was 18 pound… thought primark was cheaper? But it’s lush anyways. Some purple towels for myself =].

Sunday
Was a weird day. Mostly spent watching bones with the bf. I love that programme. Just to say any American drama I think ive pretty much seen. I’m obsessed in a way but its so relaxing for me to kind of wind down in the evening and just watch them .
Seriously long journey home it was 4hours instead of 2.50. Arrived in Paddington at 20 to 9. Got home at 10. Thanks to my mum for picking me up from the station xx.

So that’s pretty much been my weekend. It’s been okay as in being with people but there’s something going on in my head at the moment that I can’t really understand. It’s kind of scary at times but I know I can get through it. Water intake has been bad this weekend, really bad and im feeling it today. Extremely bad hunger pangs. Yesterday I had to double up on a chicken soup OMG it was vile half of it went down the sink :/ I must’ve only drank a litre. Not like me at all.

I’ve got a lot to look forward to this week. I’m going to pc world tomorrow evening “yay” since my mum offered to take me. Wednesday is my last day of work for the week. Boyfriend is down Wednesday evening. Then it’s shopping to get him some food. Thursday is dads bday but wont see him until sat. Friday is my birthday WOOOO. I cannot wait, can you tell? Ha-ha. I usually hate my birthday but generally looking forward to not having the guilt of eating a huge meal at a restaurant. Instead me and my family are going… wait for it… BOWLING… oh yeah! Ha-ha what sexy shoes I shall be wearing. This year if people have asked me what I’ve wanted ive said anything but money! So mums got me a HUGE present that’s just sitting on the table torturing me until Friday But im generally exciting about this birthday. Seeing my dad on Saturday and chill down day on Sunday and bf is going home on Monday morning so taking him to the station and then ive got to face the packed Bakerloo line! Joy.

I just want to say a huge thank you to all of you girlies btw, it’s good to know there is support on here and that someone out there is listening to my ranting on. I’d like to thank my lovely mum to and congratulate her on losing 6lb last week after having such a stressful week, you’ve done so well, love you!

Ah well, sorry for ranting on lol. Enjoy your day girlies. I’ll update again soon.

Cass.xoxo

 

[LadyT]

Hey Cass sounds like a very full weekend full of emotions for one reason or another. Forget it now, it's past you cant change it, but what you can do is think about your birthday and what fun you will have bowling in your sexy shoes lol!!

You have come such a long way, dont give up, stay strong! xx

 

[welshkaz39]

Hiyas cass ive just read your diary from start to finish i was enthralled by your amazing weightloss so had to have a nose, well i cried laughed out loud and am totally inspired, someone so young is so engaged in GETTING THERE!!!, I like yourself have been your size since i was 18 and threw away (apart from having the kids) my 20's and 30's stressing about being a size 32 been on a diet since i was 8 and to see someone take complete control which i should have done is amazing, your a legend(apparently the in word lol) well im in my first week and doing ok just weighed and lost a ridicolous ammount of weight already , but so wished id started years ago, keep up the amazing work and for what its worth i think your mood swings of late and you bottling up in class are signs your getting closer to goal and going into panic mode a little as when youve finished this next few months you have nothing left to hide behind, i know when ive ever dieted (yes on them all) closer i got to a new stone the worse my moods got, like peeling away the layers, sorry if im wrong anyway time for the dreaded water lol take care cass and love the support you have from everyone especially your mum x karen.

 

[Boo1968]

Hiyas cass ive just read your diary from start to finish i was enthralled by your amazing weightloss so had to have a nose, well i cried laughed out loud and am totally inspired, someone so young is so engaged in GETTING THERE!!!, I like yourself have been your size since i was 18 and threw away (apart from having the kids) my 20's and 30's stressing about being a size 32 been on a diet since i was 8 and to see someone take complete control which i should have done is amazing, your a legend(apparently the in word lol) well im in my first week and doing ok just weighed and lost a ridicolous ammount of weight already , but so wished id started years ago, keep up the amazing work and for what its worth i think your mood swings of late and you bottling up in class are signs your getting closer to goal and going into panic mode a little as when youve finished this next few months you have nothing left to hide behind, i know when ive ever dieted (yes on them all) closer i got to a new stone the worse my moods got, like peeling away the layers, sorry if im wrong anyway time for the dreaded water lol take care cass and love the support you have from everyone especially your mum x karen.

Karen I totally agree with you 100%, I'm so very proud of my daughter and what she has achieved and will achieve, love you lots Cass xx Mum xxx

 

[Boo1968]

Hi Cass

This is my quote to you today

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

xx Mum xx

 

[SunshineCass]

Hiyas cass ive just read your diary from start to finish i was enthralled by your amazing weightloss so had to have a nose, well i cried laughed out loud and am totally inspired, someone so young is so engaged in GETTING THERE!!!, I like yourself have been your size since i was 18 and threw away (apart from having the kids) my 20's and 30's stressing about being a size 32 been on a diet since i was 8 and to see someone take complete control which i should have done is amazing, your a legend(apparently the in word lol) well im in my first week and doing ok just weighed and lost a ridicolous ammount of weight already , but so wished id started years ago, keep up the amazing work and for what its worth i think your mood swings of late and you bottling up in class are signs your getting closer to goal and going into panic mode a little as when youve finished this next few months you have nothing left to hide behind, i know when ive ever dieted (yes on them all) closer i got to a new stone the worse my moods got, like peeling away the layers, sorry if im wrong anyway time for the dreaded water lol take care cass and love the support you have from everyone especially your mum x karen.

Hi Karen, Wow you have alot of patience reading through my Diary . I really hope your journey goes well and what a lovely feeling it must be for you to have lost “X” amount of pounds so far in the first week! You must be very proud. Haha i don’t know about a legend But thank you. Such kind words. I think your right about me going into panic mode, i’ve not had the feeling of “getting near a goal” before and it does scare me but i know i’m better off getting there just have to keep my head down now. Enjoy the water take care, hope to hear from you soon Karen.

Cass.xoxo



To mum...

Thank you for the inspirational quote Very lovely. I shall see you tonighttttt PC WORLD woo hoo