Cass's Diary

[SunshineCass]

It's my last day of work today. I wont be posting on the forum or in this Diary until next week. Wednesday or Thursday probably. I hope you all have a Lovely week and remember to keep drinking that water.


Cass.xoxo

 

[MagdaX]

Enjoy your last day huni and pm me your cv if you get a minute
X

Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins

 

[Pinkie :)]

Aww... have a good week yourself hunny! See you back here soon...

xx

 

[LadyT]

Will miss your updates they keep me entertained. Have a good week! xx

 

[SunshineCass]

Quote of the day:


“Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact."


- Henry James

Good afternoon lovely ladies! How are you all?

Since last Wednesday was my last day of work, I was all set for a lovely long weekend. A nice relaxing one. I was right in thinking it would be. Tuesday Evening I bought my new laptop. It was 70pound more than I wanted to spend, but hey-ho! It was a lovely treat to myself and I’m glad I got it. It allowed me to settle down and watch bones and one tree hill and various films etc over the weekend while relaxing with my boyfriend. I had a lovely birthday, mum brought me a lovely scrap book making kit, which I love and a new laptop case ! Got a few nice bits from my boyfriend and his mum brought me a lovely top that I wore to bowling that evening. Nate brought me a new pair of black jeans, size 24 and they were too big! I still wore them anyway as he was considerate enough to buy me a belt too . I figured out on Friday evening that I can not, for the life of me, bowl. Apparently the gutter is where I aim best (had to control a giggle there). Overall it was fun as I had my family with me . Got lovely comments from them and my nan brought me a gift voucher for monsoon! Yum . Got money from my dad and that at the weekend. My dad couldn’t believe it when I was there, how different I looked since the end of January. (I was just about fitting into a 24). He joked as I got in the car “where are you” tut tut daddy! Bad humour. Haha . My little sister who I havnt seen since last November (she’s 6) said to my aunt when I was out of the room “HAVE YOU SEEN CASSIE? She’s so skinny!!!” lmao, bless her. I wish I was as skinny as they say I am But at least I now know I’m getting there (finally).

Hmmm, downside this week is I’ve been cooking for people, although it’s a big help for my mum I just kept getting so stressed! I’ve noticed that I’ve become a bit “ocd” about some things. Like the washing up, Friday I felt the need to make sure everything was cleaned before I got ready. My brother ended up telling me to p*** off as I only had 10 minutes to get ready and he would finish it for me. Bless him haha . Oooo I got a cherry bakewell cake that he put a candle in for me so I could blow it out .

Milk week this week, I’ve had cups of teas! Hot milk, cold milk, milk with coffee and more teas! Yum yum yum. My Eeyore mug has been my friend this week. Not sure how much I’ve lost, I havn’t been weighed since 16th feb! so it’s two weeks weigh in this Wednesday. Fingers crossed for the 1lb need to get to 9 stone! I think the 12lb to get to my next stone is asking a bit too much ahha.

MEGA PLUS! So I couldn’t find my work trousers this morning, I decided to try on the trousers mum had given me as they are they only size 22 I would have. They fit!!! Not baggy but they do fit and it feels lovely . I love that after my horrible totm I usually lose a dress size it feels fantastic!!!

Cass.xoxo

 

[LadyT]

Aw Cass, I missed your updates you do make me smile! Pleased to hear you treated yourself to a new laptop and that you had a great brithday too. |its always nice to be spoiled and you sound like you did ok in that department.

As for your little sister, bless, out of the mouth of babes and all that, you can always rely on children to tell the truth. You must have felt amazing.

You have had a great week, presents, compliments, smaller sized clothes, good time with your boyfriend and family, the list is endless. Ok so you can bowl but we can overlook that lol

Oh I cant wait to have a cup of tea with milk in it, I have another 7 weeks and counting. Good luck for your WI!!

Have a great day! x

 

[welshkaz39]

Wow well done on keeping sane on a hugely busy weekend and everyone commenting on your weightloss must have been a fab moral booster, and lucky girl!!! fab gifts and good luck for wednesday xkaren.

 

[SunshineCass]

Day 164

Quote of the Day:

“Change comes like a little wind that ruffles the curtains at dawn, and it comes like the stealthy perfume of wildflowers hidden in the grass.”

- John Steinbeck

I’ve been curious this week as to how much I was going to lose; bearing in mind I have not had a weigh in for two weeks. This milk week malarkey has made me feel tired, sick, bloated and completely fed up of this diet. The thing is I know that I can do this. I’ve had my head in the right place since the start of my journey and I intend to keep it that way. I’ve decided that it isn’t a good idea for me to have the bars any more unless I’m comfortable with having them, they make me feel like I’m cheating.

• I know that I am not
• It’s stupid of me to think this.
• I just can’t help my thoughts?

I’ve thought of a way to fix these thoughts. For one week I will just stay on the shakes and water, I done this at the beginning and have no reason as to why I can not do it again. So for a week I will not have a black tea or coffee. I will not have the water flavourings. I will not have a bar. I will only stick to shakes. Please don’t think badly of this as I am purely doing this for myself as it gets my head in the place it needs to be, all people are different right?

So I’ve exchanged the spare soups in my bag with banana shakes so I have no excuses. I got a toffee bar to have spare if and when I am ready, then I shall eat it, until then it’s bananarama.

My weigh in last night went well considering I had a milk week. In two weeks I lost 8lb. Which is brilliant? I’ve now gone under the 100lb to go mark. 9stone 7pound down, 6stone 7pound to go! Finally my counsellor has received my photos, she moaned about not being able to print them but I said via e-mail would be perfect anyway; I’m just excited to see them. Want to see my huge bum! Ha-ha. So I shall send her a text to remind her.

<<< Plus, took a new picture yesterday on my lovely new laptop, just because I was bored so I set it as my avatar. Wish I had one from before that I could show, maybe when I do some rummaging around I shall find one. Take a look.


I’m still in the OCD mode at the moment, I said before about my thoughts where I think something has to be done a certain way. It’s getting ridiculous now lol. But at least my room has been kept extremely tidy. I’m sure mum’s pleased lol.


I’ve also made a huge decision about my future. At some point during the next few months I had planned to move down to Devon to live with my boyfriend. It’s no London; I think that’s what I like about it. The only thing is, it’s very hard to find any vacancies down there. I’ve found a job that I’m more than ready to apply for and extremely happy as it is a complete career change but something I have always wanted to do. Care assistant in an elderly home. I’ve always enjoyed helping people, and love the conversations that form with elder people. The manager of the home has said she is willing to train me which is lovely! This weekend we are popping into the care home to get an application form. She seemed happy with the idea of me applying as I said I could be available as soon as possible. I am just so sick of this job in this crummy college at the moment. I need a change and I am really excited about this possibility. The thought of being more independent, having to manage my money more than what I do now. Being able to “spread my wings” as my mum said to me when I told her (though they wont be arm wings for much longer ;p). When I told mum yesterday, she said something that made me think. This time last year, I was locked up in my room 24/7, ditching sixth form to be on the computer and constantly eating. Eating 3 meals a day, snacks and then more snacks. Pasta filled with mayo, bacon and tonnes of cheese. Bacon and cheese toasties. 4 slices of toast. Thinking back now it was disgusting. I would’ve eaten myself to an early grave. All the changes started when I met my boyfriend, he is a big part of my life changing. I’m so proud of myself for letting it happen. For taking control of it all before it got too bad. I’ve got positive thoughts for my future. Something I didn’t have a year ago.


Cass.xoxo

 

[welshkaz39]

wow youve had a fab week of thinking!!! I worked in a home for many happy years its really rewarding and although heart wrenching sometimes its also so much fun, and the training could take you anywhere maybe into local hospital if you fancied that route(seems to give more security here in wales if your in Nhs your there for life) but you dont know if you dont try eh .... well done on your fab loss 8lb in 2 weeks is amazing and got to be fab being under that 100lb left to lose.
p.s you were right in my diary i should stay away from the scales ive totally depressed myself and have started doubting diet, thank god i can come on here and rebuild that confidence with all your fab weight losses, have a fab evening be good x

 

[LadyT]

Aw Cass, I got quite emotional reading your diary. You certainly have come a long way in the past year and sounds like you have done some growing up. I should think your mum is so very proud of you, making all these life choices for yourself. You are a very strong and brave woman and dont ever forget that!

As for your weightloss, wow is all I can say, 8lb in 2 weeks is wicked but under the 100lb to go is even better. It must seem so reachable now, where as in the beginning I bet you wondered if you would ever get there, your determination is inspirational.

Loving the avatar x

 

[gingette]

loving your new pic!! You fox you!!

i adore reading your quotes and updates. Thank you.

 

[SunshineCass]

Quote of the Day:


' To be nobody-but-yourself - in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.'

- E.E. Cummings



This is possibly one of my last diary entries. A lot has happened over 5 days. Something that usually takes months to figure out has happened all at once.

I applied for the care home assistant job; unfortunately I did not get the position. I’ve found that it is extremely hard to find a job in an area you can not get to for an interview. I’ve had to do a lot of thinking regarding my job at the moment. Let’s just say, I’ve never had the guts to leave. Manners in a work place, takes little effort but it makes a whole lot of difference. The phrase “cassie come here now” can easily have a “please” put onto the end. Unfortunately for my managers and fortunately for me, that was the last straw. They drew the short straw, as of tomorrow I no longer work here. I handed in my resignation yesterday. They seemed very shocked by the whole thing but I’m pleased I’ve finally had the guts to do it.

So where does this leave me? Jobless. After a long chat with my boyfriend, my mum, his mum and dad, we’ve come to the conclusion that I will move down there on a “one month trial” basis. Which is a brilliant idea, I can’t permanently move down there in case we don’t get on properly 24/7. Friday I will go down there as planned and it will be the last day I see my mum for ages :[ which I am really sad about. I’ll sign on at the job centre on Monday and go from there. I’m determined to get things sorted for myself and not stay with his mum and dad too long as I want my own place.

Tonight is my last meeting with my LLC, Karen. I’ve brought her a thank you card that I will give to her tonight. I’ve already spoken to the LLC in the area I am moving to and she sounded lovely on the phone and has meetings on Monday and Tuesday which she said I can join straight away. It’s convenient really as it’s within a 10 minute walk.

So everything is now moving forward, I’m nervous about leaving and “spreading my wings” as I know I’m going to really miss my mum.

Anyway, more about the diet, this week has been good. Deciding to have more water and just shakes seems to have been a good idea. I have no hunger pangs. Yesterday was quite bad for water and shakes intake but that was mainly because I’d spent the whole day crying and trying to make decisions. I had a shake at 9, one at 4 (that was awful =[ ) and then decided to have a double when I got in. By the end of the day I felt mentally drained with the slight hope that everything’s going to work out for me. I hate the fact I have to sign on but it’ll help me get interviews and i think you get short courses while you are on it too (not too sure). So I’ve deffinately come a long way in one year.

I’ll be around to update my weight loss this week but tomorrow night/Friday morning will be the last day I will be posting on here. I’d just like to thank all of you lovely lady’s that have helped me and how friend you have all been on here. Thank you for having the patience to read my diary too. If anyone would like to keep in touch PM me your e-mail as I should be on there from time to time.

Enjoy your journey fellow LL’ers. I know I’m in this until I reach my goal. Good luck.

Cass.xoxo


P.s one last quote

"It’s the good girls who keep diaries. The bad girls never have the time. Me… I just want to live a life I’m going to remember. Even if I don’t write it down."




:superwoman:

 

[LadyT]

Aw Cass, I felt so emotional for you. You certainly have had a tough time of it, but you are a strong independant woman and can do this, I totally believe in you. Take care chick, will miss reading your diary xxxxx

 

[SunshineCass]

So my last weigh in with my counsellor was last night I lost 5lb! She got all emotional that i was leaving bless her She took my photo one last time too. Hopefully i get them soon? haha.

2lb off of losing 10 stone now. Only 6stone two pound to go lol! Woah 16 stone to lose was my goal, so glad im over halfway.

Cass.xoxo

 

[gingette]

Hi Cass,

It has been great sharing your journey. You are inspiration to us all- :thankyou:. I hope that everything goes well for you and you find somewhere to work where they truly appreciate you.

Good luck - and don't be too much of a stranger.:hug99:

 

[Tanners]

Hi Cass

I've really enjoyed reading ur diary! Why are u stopping?? Ur local Library should have free Internet access and u could pop in once a week to keep us all posted!

Good luck with the move and I hope ur new LLC is as motivating and friendly as ur current one! 10 stone is a huge amount to lose, the last 6 should b a walk in the park for u!

Xx

 

[Pinkie :)]

CASSSSSSS!!! Miss you already hunny!

You've got my email and mobile number, so don't be a stranger! You're a complete sweetheart, and bring so much to this forum... it's our loss, that you won't be posting any more...

Luv ya hun!... Take care, and good luck with the rest of your journey! You've really broken the back of it now... it's unbelievable, how well you've done! I will always be in awe...

xx

 

[SunshineCass]

Hello lovely ladys!

Just a quick pop in, don't have time tocatch up on anyone just yet

Just t let you know im settling in okay job front is going okay. Still wating to hear back from some.

I lost 3lb last week. My new group is lovely and so is the LLC which is good!

Had weigh inlast week and lost 7lb. God knows what i done differently. Maybe it's all the hills?

Hope you are all well, i've installed an app on ipod so will catch up when possible.

Cass.xoxo

 

[LadyT]

Hey Cass, good to hear things are going well for you and well done on the weightloss xx

 

[Pinkie :)]

Aww... Cass!!! Helloooooo!!

That's great about your last 2 weeks losses... brilliant!!

Thrilled you're settling in well to your new job etc too... looks like things are really going your way... and you deserve it!

Stay in touch...

xx