caws diary

I've enjoyed Christmas and I'm not a new year person so my good intentions start tomorrow.

I'm going to try exante, which is similar to CD etc, with meal replacement packs. A friend of mine lost 5 stone with LighterLife and then went on to do exante by herself - as I've never done a meal replacement diet before I don't know how I'll get on. I'll give it a go, I'm expecting to not feel too good for the first 5 days (which is the reason I've decided to start tomorrow) but I'll see how I get on.

I'll have a review next weekend !
 
So, first day was ok. Had 2 shakes and a 400 cal evening meal. Drank about 2l of water, which is the minimum so something I'll have to work on.

Haven't decided properly whether to include the meal every day or have a shake on some days. I'll have to play it by ear really.

Am pleased I've had no sweets, cakes, biscuits, snacks or fizzy drinks even though we went to the pantomime :)
 
Fell down last night having some chocolate brazils and then had some crisps - was craving salt and vinegar.

Had 2 shakes again today and been ok. It really is the evenings where I want to pick. See how I get on tonight but I'm going visiting and I'm not sure if she's doing dinner.
 
Well I haven't lost any weight this week !

Most of the christmas snacks have gone now and I'm not buying any extra's when I go shopping. I haven't had any days yet where I've had 3 shakes and nothing else but I'm getting used to the shakes and haven't had any headaches or felt ill, which is one of the things that concerned me.

I think the way I'll do it is 1 or 2 shakes and an evening meal with the girls. Cut the snacks and drink more water, I think that's the way to go.
 
I'm on a right downer today. I'm feeling really big but can't stop eating !!

I'm sure tomorrow will be a better day.
 
Chin up, you're always going to have days when you feel horrible and just want to eat, you've done brill so far so don't let one day set you back!
Keep up the good work!
 
Well I'm following (or copying!!) Clarri and Silence and have ordered the Beck solution book from Amazon along with another book about overcoming overeating.

I feel like I'm acting like I did as a teenager, as I was always abit of a rebel and hated rules, breaking them sometimes just for the sake of it. I need to grow up !!!
 
Still feeling like crap, crap, crap.

I've copied my post from the Friday girls thread but thought I'd expand on it here.

I've put on 4lb SINCE Christmas and am only half a stone less than I was at my heaviest about 3 years ago. Since April last year I've put on nearly 2 stone - the more I tell myself to stop eating the more I seem to eat.

Still I suppose this should be in my diary (which I'm really rubbish at keeping as well)

I've taken my tickers off for now, I may put them back on at some point !!

I keep telling myself that I've managed to stop smoking, I've managed to stop biting my nails and now I need to get a grip on my sugar and carbohydrate addiction/habit !!

I'm just starting to read the 'Overcoming Overeating' book and I can indentify with what they are saying straight away so hopefully it'll hit a raw nerve and give me some ooomph.

I feel really big at the moment, my tummy is heavy, my breathing is loud (it doesn't help that I've had blocked sinuses and laryngitis) I huff and puff away and feel really unfit. I really need to sort out some sort of exercise routine. I did go to a step class and belong to a gym but started finding excuses of why I couldn't go so it bacame a waste of money (which obviously I couldn't afford) I may go and see if they have any offers for students - I know the council one used to have special offers for hospital staff aswell, I'll have to check around. I also used to do stuff in doors and have a wii fit but last summer I moved to a 1st floor flat so can't bounce around on the floor now as it would be horrendous for the people downstairs. I do like walking and could go out for a mile round the block 2 or 3 times a week, although the weather up till now hasn't enabled me to do that. As I said I definately need to sort somethng out though.

Also what I've noticed is I say things like "I must stop snacking" but really the snacking is bingeing - just because I don't eat a whole loaf of bread at once, I don't think of it as bingeing but I will eat 6 or 7 or 8 biscuits with my cup of tea, or I will eat a big bag of crisps once they been opened (maybe over a couple of days) or have a cereal bar for no reason or just because I'm bored. This is where I'm hoping the book will help because it's emotional/comfort eating (although I'm not unhappy with my life)

I've got alot of pressure with assignments and exams this month - it was always going to be a tough one at uni so I think maybe I'm coping with it by eating my way through it and I'm in the hospital for 8 weeks come the beginning of Feb so it's going to be a tough few months ahead.

I do have to do something though - as I've said to Gemma in the past, it's alright knowing what to do and how to do it but you have to ACTUALLY do it !!
 
Hi there - I found you :)

I said I'd give you a nudge. Don't be too hard on yourself cos giving up smoking is a major life change - all credit to you for that :)

Get those tickers on for a starting point, otherwise you have nowhere to go but floundering in the shallows. Jump in the deep end and get started - it might lift your spirits to regain control.

Have a great day and be positive. Remember this is a journey and many don't go to plan as there are many hazards on the way - that doesn't mean it's not worth continuing :)
 
You're so kind Gem :)

I didn't give up smoking recently Gem, it's actually been 10 years nearly - wow I didn't realise it'd been that long till I just had to think when it was! Why I relate it to my eating habits now is I really enjoyed smoking and could go back to it again tomorrow but I gave up for health and financial reasons and after cutting out the cigarette at work and then in the car I just stopped completely. I keep telling myself if I had the determination to do that then I can do the same now with food.

I'm also disappointed with myself because 10 months ago I was doing well, and it just all went away. I'm trying to recapture it and you're right I should just start again !
 
I agree Caws,
Fresh start. Did you get the Beck book too? You said you were ordering it? I know so how you are feeling. It really takes time, and unfortunately we all want instant results but they just dont happen instantly.
I have had a great week, but struggling today. I wont let it get to me. Im determined to stick with my Beck programme. CBT works, when its done properly.
Hugs to you. College stress doesnt help. Especially when we tell ourselves that we "deserve" whatever we are having cause we are stressed.
xxx
 
What an achievement - 10 years without smoking for someone who loved the habit - you should really be proud of yourself x
 
I did get the book aswell Clarri, along with an overeating one, which I'm reading first.

It actually stikes quite a chord because it tells us to accept ourselves, and get out of the vicious cycle of overeating and dieting. From what I understand so far it says have what you want but listen to your body. Take the emotion out of eating and eat when you are hungry. Don't deny yourself because that is what leads to bingeing, self loathing and recriminations. You make yourself feel bad so you eat because that is how you comfort yourself. Reconnect with your body, acceptance is a large part because we all come in different shapes and sizes.

When we allow ourselves to have what we want we actually have less, even if it takes time ie if you work in a chocolate factory and can have what you want when you want it at first you gorge and have loads but eventually you become immune to it because you're allowed it and it's around all the time.

So for now what I'm going to do is accept that I'm bigger than I'd like to be, reconnect with my stomach and listen to what it's saying, not reach for food because I'm bored, alone, upset, angry and take it from there.

Oh and I weighed myself at my mum's (up until last summer I always used her scales) and on her scales I'm 12lb lighter than on mine so maybe I haven't put on as much as I think I have although I do feel uncomfortable at the moment !!

We've had some sunshine today and it was lovely so I'm going to try and get out for a walk most days, if I can.
 
Last edited:
Caws,
Thats it, nailed. Take the pressure of you/our selves. We put too much pressure on us, and then work ourselves into a frenzy. I can honestly say I havent had what I call a binge, since my couple of sessions with the counsellor before the summer last year. I have overeaten, but not to the extent where I had to make myself sick. Ive accepted that if I overeat, its my fault, and the consequences are down to me, and I have overeaten, but now, Im working on not letting it become a months worth of overeating just because I have done it once.
Its about changing habits, and they dont change overnight.
Hugs. xx x
 
One day at a time will get you there in the end - don't beat yourself up when things don't go according to plan x
 
I've been feeling much better the past few days, I'm still reading my book, I'm still listening to my tummy (I had 'lunch' at about 11.30am even though that's really early because I was hungry and yet wasn't hungry later on and still had dinner at about 6 o'clock, normal time)) and I'm allowing a little chocolate :)

In fact last night my girls wanted to get fish and chips but I said no (we were out and it was fairly late as we hadn't had dinner) I came home and made chicken fajita's which don't take very long and then tonight I cooked fish (battered fish from Iceland, 250 cals) and oven chips with peas and green beans and I'm sure it tasted nicer for not having them last night from the chippy and the meal came in at about 450 cals, at least half, if not more than half of what the chippy ones would have been.

I'm thinking I might get some new scales - mine are old and abit temperamental and I'll go definitively by them and not compare them to my mum's !!
 
Well done - you seem to have things well under control x
 
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