Cerulean's Maintenance Diary - 20 wks of SSing - Maintaining since 25/07/11

[Cerulean]

I'm about to go off on a 16 mile walk. Eeepers! I have grilled chicken and egg salad and a few pieces of fruit in a bag. This is my first walk with food this year (usually I would take scotch eggs and cake - not on maintenance - my salad has been chilling and blending its flavours overnight so I don't feel cheated or deprived - a good egg salad is one of the joys of summer!)

 

[Tall fat and greedy]

Good luck on the walk, hope you can treat your feet afterwards! Long hot soak could be in order!

 

[spangles]

Cerulean, I've just read this megalithic thread from beginning to end and I feel like standing up and applauding.

How inspirational! I think it helps when you find someone you can compare yourself to: I'm a similar age with a similar amount to lose and only a couple of inches shorter; I don't have kids and I live in London (the "vibrant and edgy" south, though); and I even used to be a professional actor...

Anyway, when you find someone who is 'like you', and they can do it, have done it, with intelligence and good humour, then it is very empowering.

The big difference is how you embrace physical activity - even at the start of your journey you were walking and swimming distances that make me have a funny turn at the very thought. But if you can do it... maybe I do just need to get off my lazy bum. Funnily enough you mentioned gaijingirl at the start of the diary, and she's a mate of mine... and she's someone who's always very sporty at whatever weight. So that's you *and* her. I have no excuse do I?

Anyway, I've been putting off reading your thread since I started here, cos it's sooo lonng, but I'n SO glad I did. Verily, you are a shiny star of lovely motivation. Hurrah for you!

 

[Cerulean]

Hello hello - I didn't do an update yesterday, did I? No. Hello to Spangles - I feel like I should hand out awards to people who make it all the way through the entire thread - it is somewhat overwhelming when you look at it all! And hurray for Gaijingirl...we almost met up back in the day, but then she swanned off to Japan for a bit and I was mad busy with work that year and we kind of lost touch - it was her frenetic cycling and swimming that inspired me and made me realise that exercise and VLCDs were possible!

So - what's been going on since the massive walk - well - the walk went brilliantly, interesting countryside - purple heather and chalk hills and all that. The full walk burned about 1800 calories. Yesterday I lost a couple of pounds but that odd extra few pounds is still knocking about but my measurements are the same. So - er - glycogen? Or pre-periodical gain (which still hasn't shown up) I guess - I shall not be downhearted, as Shakira so eloquently put it, hips don't lie - am still the same size and waistbands as loose as ever.

Yesterday something new happened. I only ate half of my usual lunch at lunchtime. I was full after half of it. It was only a 300 calorie lunch so I did eat it all eventually, it's just - there it went - the full signal - 10 minutes into eating. If I get a few more of those and my fruit consumption starts going down (which it is now) then I can't ignore the need to start eating a spot of bread and grains.

I was back at rehearsals last night. I just had an apple as a snack before 2 hours of running around and shouting (that is all acting ever is really) and didn't get home til about 9.15 but I didn't feel like dinner - just finished off some cottage cheese and a fennel and caper salad, and had a chocolate pack. I mused as I passed Macdonalds how after Lighter Life I couldn't stay away so obsessed was I with McFlurries and chicken nuggets and now that couldn't be further from my mind. I am still cautious, but far more optimistic. Have been eating for nearly 6 weeks and the most 'bingey' thing I do is having a few handfuls of nuts where one will do and eating my way through a 150 calorie punnet of greengages. The nuts need caution, but I don't have them around often and it usually only happens after heavy exercise so 600 cals of nuts once a week isn't going to do me much harm.

Today is my best friend's birthday - I have taken a half day off work to surprise her with a mystery tour visit to a National Trust tea room (well and the big posh house as well, but we all know it's about the cakes and the giftshop) no cakes for me of course, just tea. But that's me now - I like yoghurt and fruit and lean meat and vegetables. Like I always knew I should...like I always knew I did! Just wish I could be losing a spot of weight right now - I am definitely owed that few lbs back by now so v confused as to what's going on with my actual weight...I do round my calorie calculations up and even if I round my BMR down to 1500 calories a day, I am still owed those lbs back! Stupid lbs. Inches are way better

 

[*Shanny*]

Hey sarah im glad to read you are still doing so well x

 

[Cerulean]

Thanks Shanny! Although somewhat ironic in the circumstances - yesterday and this morning were somewhat interesting.

So - yesterday I made a couple of mistakes - I really didn't eat a big enough breakfast or lunch - but I did eat both meals - in the afternoon, I took my friend to a country house for her birthday and ate a few grapes and an apple and had a lovely cup of assam whilst I watched her eat a cheese sandwich, a slice of coffee and walnut cake the size of her face. I had done the afternoon thing to avoid her meal out with everyone else later, but I went along to the restaurant with her anyway - at her house she gave me a snack of her special home made low fat hummus (has no oil in it) she eats very similarly to me at the moment when it isn't her birthday! And then I had some nuts. I knew I was terribly terribly hungry - and can see why - I'd had half my usual calories by that point. I took her to the restaurant and I ordered a couple of dishes that sort of fitted my food. Grilled squid, sardine, stuff like that. I ate more than I intended to. But get this - I'm pretty much eating 1500 cals at the moment and I'm well over a month out of ketosis so I had a glass of wine. And a few more.

I had a hangover this morning. More fool me. And to sop it all up, I had a dirty Macdonalds breakfast muffin! Oh the hilarity. However, I did not order the hash brown like I used to and I left the muffin and half the egg as the bread didn't taste right and I wasn't hungry any more. So that's a plus point, eh?

But weirdly it stopped there. In the past that would have kicked off far naughtier behaviour, I had a small yoghurt snack and I've just had an egg and cottage cheese salad and I haven't started. I had a big think about what I really wanted to eat next and my body is telling me 'Still fruit and salad, I like fruit and salad'. Hell - I ate no more than 500 calories in one muffin and I can easily stay under my calorie intake today as long as I lay off the fruit - which due to the meaty cheesy breakfast I'm not so hungry for!

Ah well - nice to have a few drinks and flirt with boys and remember what life used to be like. It stops there, it's my best friend's birthday once a year - I have been feeling a bit left out of social things in the last few months with all the rehearsals and working out, and I need to eat more during the day if I want to keep my resolve when I'm out and about. And I didn't eat anything sweet or cakey. This does mean that I've had three rest days off exercise this week. (I deliberately planned two to follow the long walk to make sure I don't get injured) Today was a planned day though...ah - well, I'll make it up tomorrow Sat and Sun.

And the scales? I didn't get to weigh myself until after the mcmuffin munching. I lost 2lbs. Er. Right. Obviously that doesn't mean I'm on a grilled meats and wine diet from now on as nice as that might be! The 2lbs was owed to me from last week and I'm probably dehydrated!

 

[Colony]

Glad you enjoyed yourself. That's what it's all about... Eating healthily most of the time, so when you want to let loose and have fun and get a bit squiffy, you can do so guilt-free!! So pleased for you! X

 

[Cerulean]

So - I am back on track - not a hint of a wobble - I'll get my run in today...tonight is the long promised steak dinner - I might have fish or chicken depending on the weights of steak available. This is for another friend's birthday - but that's okay because this friend is teetotal and the restaurant is very me friendly! For some reason I am friends with an awful lot of people with late August birthdays! The weight went back to pre tapas fiesta fiasco - I really don't think of it as a fiasco and not that it was that bad and I really am not going to beat myself up over it - that way lies all-or-nothing thinking - and I really do intend to keep having the odd night like that once a month - probably not with quite so much wine!

The fact that I have returned to default eating is a good sign - going to keep this up for a few weeks until I get to the 8 week post SS point...but I now feel that the way I eat is the way I eat, limit the carbs, eat as fresh and clean as possible, avoid sugar, always have a bowl of salad and some berries and yoghurt in the fridge and apples in my desk drawer, and the rest looks after itself! Phase two of all this is trying to work out what carbs I can have - and you'll note I keep saying I'll give them a go and keep not giving them a go! I have had some carbs, I have stayed in control - but I'm still a bit wary about having bread in the house. I think it should be a thing I eat when I am out and about.

The next step - and this will make you laugh, is becoming more focused on my exercise. Sure - I know I seem to focus on it more than most people, but now I'm at the level where I need to set goals - and I'm not quite sure what they should be - I need something that keeps me committed and pushing myself a little harder.

Re the big 'after' photos - do you know what - I'm not sure want to - there's very little visible difference since I last posted pics - this time it's about maintenance and reeducation, not showing off about how quickly I can lose 5 stone! I know it's great for VLCDers to see the dramatic change if you stick to the diet for a few months....but this time it's not about the achievement of weight loss for me...it's about this being normal for me - it's not a big TADAAAA! this is me healthy and normal and fit - this is me. Obese Sarah is not me any more or ever again. I promise that you can have photos eventually, just let me get the hang of maintaining and then we'll call that my end result! Also - sometimes I think when you take the pictures you kind of see that as the end, but it isn't - it never ends!

 

[Cerulean]

I passed the 100k mark on my running spreadsheet! 2 months to tot that total up. Don't get over-excited, mind, that's basically Just under 3lbs of calories burned. In two months. But yeah - going good!

 

[Cerulean]

It makes-a no sense

So last night was perfect. Lovely posh steak in London's trendy Spitalfields and my dining partner didn't order starchy carbs so there was nothing on the table that was off limits. We had steamed spinach, a heritage tomato salad and the naughtiest thing on the table was roasted mushrooms which tasted delicious. We had prime rib. Probably about 550 calories of meat. The sides probably took me to around 750, I had about 1500 calories yesterday all told and a good long 45 minute run.

I was wondering what the scales would think of all that red meat this morning and almost avoided it. Weight was back to where it was this time week (which means the scales went down!), BMI still around 27. All good.

I did my shop for the week - my shopping bag is usually like this

Radishes, celery, romaine lettuce, cucumber, beansprouts, plums, strawberries, blueberries, granny smiths (these are good because they aren't too sweet and seem to keep myblood sugar in check)
I buy other veg like brocolli and cabbage through the week depending on what looks good/is on offer

2*450g tubs of low fat organic or greek yoghurt

Tuna
4*chicken thighs (breast is too expensive, I'm afraid and thigh meat is far tastier)
Chick peas
2* tubs cottage cheese
Small bag of almonds (these are my snacky treat and I have a handful instead of bread/potatoes a couple of days a week)
Last night I bought 2 whole sardines (I'm a west country girl so they're pilchards really )

And that pretty much does me. I buy a couple of M&S low fat yogs and some of their v expensive fruit during the week at work - and 3 packs of their sliced turkey in a 3 for £5 offer.

So there! My new way of eating!

Okay - have to go - rehearsal for the whole day! No time to do a gym workout this morning and rehearsal finishes an hour before my gym closes and is 45 mins from my gym so - pttthhh. So I am going to walk in to rehearsal.

 

[Cerulean]

So rehearsal went good as gold. I had an egg salad (seriously so yum, can do a deliciously tasty one for about 300 calories) for lunch and two sardines (I had to gut them and scale them!! Argh! But they were only 59p and I am supposed to eat them at least twice a week so - that's cool by me - good to have a source of protein that's good for me - the two sardines were probably about er - 170 calories in all and full of all those good Omega thingy things we're supposed to scoff lots of. I had them with celeriac puree - just whizzed boiled celeriac up with some of its water. Also had all my left over veggies from the week - spot of yellow zucchini, pak choi, savoy cabbage and mushrooms all stirfry/steamed (I use no oil, just some of the celariac water) and splash of rice wine vinegar and soy sauce. Felt like a proper meat, potatoes and two veg dinner but was only about 350 calories. Celeriac is brilliant! I had a snack pot of cottage cheese whilst I was out on a 9 mile cycle ride (lovely to get out and about in the sun) I'm going to do a good hard workout tomorrow.

Anyway - time to figure out my menu for tomorrow. I really should start mixing up my breakfasts a little bit...not quite sure how!

 

[Cerulean]

State of the nation

Well - remember my scales going haywire a few weeks back? They're now back in the correct ballpark...my period seems to be taking its sweet time, but I know it's on its way so I guess it's been that plus food.

And anyway, scales or no scales I am 37 29 38 so still fitting a 12. So you know, all good.

So that's 6 weeks on the food train and no sugar binges, just one alcohol adventure and much fitter than I used to be.

This is a good place, I don't feel weak and feeble, I feel like this is me - whereas when I was around a BMI of 23 I felt like 'Who is this person?' Now, I'm not saying I won't get there, or that I don't want to be a size 8-10 again, it's just I don't want to get there on a VLCD, not that last bit, it may be what you need to do, but I know from last time that that 8 weeks of SS made me paranoid and irritable and my reaction once stopping was to binge. I know I have to cut that behaviour out at the source and for me 6 weeks without a binge at any weight is a huge achievement. It makes me believe in this process and myself and that I really can keep this up. I like this way of eating. I like how I don't get irritably hungry, but I enjoy actually feeling that proper 'It's time to eat now Sarah' hunger, which I never used to do when I was eating tons of processed fatty carby foods. That wasn't hunger, that was cravings.

In a short while I'm off to the gym to do my long slow run, am hydrating first cos this session might be my first hour run...depends on how fast I can go - If I'm not feeling it at the slower pace I might do 45 mins at my faster space.

 

[Illa]

good luck on your run C. I Might join you soon in the running process, I so much love running in winter time

 

[Cerulean]

Hold on a second...

So - today I have finally cooked my wholegrain couscous...it's ready in a box to eat after my gym session on the train to Richmond to see my bezzie friend.

This means that this week there is more focus on portion control again - I have got the hang of Cambridge protein portion sizes so that they are second nature (the less said about fruit the better, I'll always be a fruit junkie - try keeping me to 150g of it - 150g of most low GI fruit is 50 calories or less - I think keeping to low GI/GL fruits has been my saving grace though - and I only have grapes as a treat once a week as they are higher in calories) I'm also not eating citrus or exotic fruits (that includes bananas!) at all, and avoiding melon as these are all fruits that my metabolic typing says I should avoid - so maybe that's played a part.

But this is the biggie - Starchy carbs...I figure if I start out with this new brown couscous and some brown rice for a few days, next week I might try sweet potatoes, oatcakes and some sort of oaty cereal. If I can handle that in 2 weeks time (by which point I should be running for more than an hour).

I'm now looking at sugar alternatives - I have a tiny drizzle of agave nectar on my yoghurt and berries. But I am wondering about stevia...I don't want to become one of those boring hippies who's all hemp seeds and dandelions, but this 6 week run of measured eating behaviour has got to be down to the total avoidance of sugar...or maybe I'm good and relaxed at the moment so I'm not trying to calm myself down with cake...dunno...but my relaxy food is now yoghurt. I like winding down with a couple of tablespoons of yoghurt. WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH THE OLD SARAH!!!

Oh - the reason I started writing this post was that I had a huge realisation just now.

I have stayed in the same weight zone for 6 weeks. I am eating a few less calories than a normal person probably would so I am technically still on a diet, but I accept this time that I need to be 'on' until this is all second nature, but I have maintained my size and weight for 6 weeks. 6 weeks. I am the same size and weight I was 3 months after finishing Lighter Life (I went from 9st 12 to about 11st 7 over those three months) I think I might have cracked it, and I think I might even be able to say that I am now in Maintenance.

Maintenance....give me 2 weeks to sort out the carb introduction, but yes, this is it. I have begun my lifelong maintenance journey!

 

[Surfhunny]

Well done Sarah, the whole idea of maintenance freaks me out completely. It's because I'm such a fussy eater I have no idea of how I'm going to be able to do it! The thought of just eating for fuel (holding my nose and stuffing it down me) fills me with dread. It's not for the want of trying, I'd desperately like to have more freedom of choice of healthy foods and I do keep trying things in case my tastes change. I'm not a fan of most fruit (grapes, apples, blueberries are fine) and only limited veggies (butternut squash, peas, carrots, parsnips, leaks, onions,) it makes my life a nightmare. I have managed to stomach other veggies so long as the flavour isnt overwhelming.

I've got a way to go yet before I have to think about maintaining again, but I'm dreading it and I think it's why I self sabotage so much. I am a freak!!! I totally admire your commitment and dedication. Well done xx

 

[Cerulean]

Hmmmm - result of adding those carbs? I only ate about half of the portion...but I was very nibbly for the rest of the day. I think it might have been some sort of anxiety - and I didn't do my run - the heavens opened and I just sat in the flat feeling miserable - I'm also not quite sleeping right at the moment which makes my susceptible to ghrelin surges (lack of sleep makes you hungry the next day due to homonal switches) and I was nibbly all day. Ate several nectarines. Had a bit more peanut butter than was reasonable. Didn't feel tempted to eat any more of the couscous. So - not sure - it didn't make me want to eat huge amounts of it and I didn't return to it for nibbling which I used to do with leftover carby things in the past.

So today we're back to basics (after doing anything new or being a bit nibbly, I always go back to The Rules - I am not quite sure what The Rules actually are as it's more intuitive than book led these days) but yeah, breakfast, wait til midday for lunch, have a 810 based meal - salad and cottage cheese today. No nuts. Fruit snack mid afternoon. Simple protein and cooked veg supper. So that'll be chicken and mushrooms with leftover celeriac the tiny bit of couscous and whatever vegetable I see fit!

I was also a bit anxious yesterday - dunno if it was the carbs or the miserable weather or grumpiness from not doing my run. It's okay at the moment, I am not pushing my distances, just trying to get properly used to running for 45 mins.

And so - to work.

Have a brilliant week y'all - and good luck/plain-sailing to all the back to school parents!

 

[Illa]

Hi C. have a wonderful day, thanks for all your insights on maintenance.

 

[Cerulean]

Best tea EVER!

I am getting better at this tasty but low cal thing.

Tonight - two romaine lettuce leaves, 1 sliced tomato drizzled with smashed garlic that had been left in a little extra virgin olive oil overnight and two dry fried mashed celariac cakes with a few sliced mushrooms cooked in garlic and marigold bullion. George Foreman-ed chicken thighs with skin and fat removed. It was all crisp and crunchy and sweet and savoury and a max of 350 calories. And it used up leftovers really cunningly

Was a bit downhearted about missing my run yesterday, but I got back on track and smashed my 4k record in my lunch hour today. At this rate I'll be sub 30 mins for a 5k in the next month. Which would be - er - awesome...it sort of means that by early next year I would be an intermediate runner! Intermediate?! Me? I'm only ever a beginner in exercise terms!

Oh bum - forgot to eat my leftover bit of couscous! I'm too full to eat it*...I had a low fat Rachels Organic something or other yoghurt and an Estival apple. Not as good as the ones I bought from the farmer a couple of weeks back - ah well - he'll be outside my office on Thursday.

*Hand on a minute...too full to eat it?! Breakthrough!

The spreadsheet of ups and downs still seems pretty on track - over 6 weeks I have lost 3lbs.

It's the first night of the full run of my play tomorrow. Am out of the house from 9.45am - 11ish - I am going to have to be mega organised about food.

I've started buying sardines in water to try to up my oily fish intake (2-3 servings a week, ideally) and to have something cheap I can keep in my desk for lunch.

I am still having foodpacks - just the 1 for my 1500 weeks - I find that on the odd days that I over indulge it's because I haven't fitted one in...I think my body still craves the nutrients, so I will have to find a new extra good quality multi-vitamin.

 

[Cerulean]

oooh - must make a note of this. Okay...so I guess after losing 5.5 stone and going from a 20 to a 12, you want to know about the skin thing. Don't forget I have done thsi journey twice. This time I have stopped before the last stone comes off to try to give my skin a chance to catch up. THERE IS NO SCIENCE IN THIS METHOD - THIS IS JUST MY GUT INSTINCT!

I just don't want to get to skinny and look like a droopy balloon. So anyway - things always get better after 6 months, but I have to say, at 6 weeks I stood in front of the gym mirror and from the front and side I have normal boobs. If I lean forward, that's when you can see the extra skin...but hey, I don't plan on leaning over anyone whilst naked unless they're a Very Special Friend and in any case, that's not a problem at the moment!

My bum and tum are coming along in a similar fashion - not so Austrian blindy...and over the next two months I'm going to be doing more weights to concentrate on my glutes and core whilst doing the marathon training so it's all about the actual muscle bulk whilst reducing my body fat - so I hold out reasonably good hopes to look cracking in a strategically upholstered tankini next summer

Thighs - you'd never know what they looked like 6 months ago.
Armpits - eeeek. That may take some time.
Bingo wings...a tad flappy, but a whole inch less droopy than they were a couple of months back. I totally recommend giving press-ups a go to take a firm stance on firming these babies up.

My top tips

Body brushing
Steam/Sauna
Cocoa butter
Exercise

The more time you spend having a polish, the better your blood flows, the more time you spend buttering up and loving your flappy bits, the nicer they'll feel and the better you'll feel about them. The more you exercise, the more you'll recognise your body for what it can do and get better at rather than how it looks and what you perceive your flaws to be.

And as a final note - I am never gonna be perfect or see 20 again or whip thin and dainty, but I'm going to be darn excellent all the same. Also, long sleeves are back in!

Love your bits!

 

[Illa]

oh Sarah I'd love an update about hair, did you notice any hair loss ? the friend that talked me into Cambridge has lost more than half her "chevelure", and that worries me a little bit. She has short hair it will regrow faster. But I have long hair as you do, so losing half of it would make me scream...

Brushing the body is a habit I got from a Japanese book. I'm loving my brushes, it's the best investment I ever did, much better than any fancy scrub, peeling stuff. And I totally agree with you on taking care of your body.