Cerulean's Maintenance Diary - 20 wks of SSing - Maintaining since 25/07/11

[Surfhunny]

oh Sarah I'd love an update about hair, did you notice any hair loss ? the friend that talked me into Cambridge has lost more than half her "chevelure", and that worries me a little bit. She has short hair it will regrow faster. But I have long hair as you do, so losing half of it would make me scream...

Brushing the body is a habit I got from a Japanese book. I'm loving my brushes, it's the best investment I ever did, much better than any fancy scrub, peeling stuff. And I totally agree with you on taking care of your body.

Illa don't worry too much about hairloss. I did lose some hair when I did CD the first time, nowhere near half of it though it was finer. It was quite scary at first because it seemed like a lot was coming out everytime I brushed it, but it grows back and wasn't noticeable to anyone but me. With longer hair I think it's not as noticeable and easier to hide.

 

[Cerulean]

Oh I have so much to tell you! So many interesting new things! Not really...just...well...things are going well - let's take you through yesterday - I was in the theatre for 12 hours.

Breakfast
Fruit and Berries plus apple and peanut butter (about 350 cals)

(I carried all my stuff to the theatre in a massive rucksack - so physical exertion there! We Tech'd one show - lots of running on and off and standing under lights)

Lunch
Tuna Salad with tomatoes in garlic dressing plus yoghurt and fruit (about 350 cals)

(Tech'd the other show, much more running - followed by a full run of both shows)

Pre show meal (not really a balanced dinner as I had to eat a very specific combination of things for energy and to stop myself getting sleepy/having a heavy tummy/dairy clag - dairy can make your vocals a bit rubbish)

Red grapes
Cooked chicken breast
Nuts

The grapes souped up my blood sugar to wake me up and the protein kind of stabilised it and gave me a slow energy release. I mean I could actually feel it! Yay! Balancing micronutrients!

750 cals (I know that sounds like a lot, but it was a break between a very physical schedule and I could not afford to not have the energy - I do have high calorie meals and as long as the food isn't processed or heavy and is in a sensible combination/GL, it seems to work)

And then, here's the thing - and the reason why I knew I had to eat that meal...there was chocolate in the dressing room in the aftrenoon runs and I had two green and blacks miniatures. And it wasn't a big deal, it was 170 cals, I didn't end up wearing the Haagen Dazs Hat O' Shame so my blood sugar must be pretty stable - it gave me a teensy boost and stopped me being cranky and crabby before our second exhausting run, and the fact that I had eaten it to do that gave me a signal that I needed to eat properly before the evening show, so I did.

Okay, so that's 1600 cals...what did I do after the show? I had One Glass of Red Wine. It wasn't very good red wine so it didn't turn into Two Glasses of Red Wine (not that I had any intention of it). It was just enough. Like the chocolate. So that's 120 cal. Total running at 1720 cal

I drank over 3 litres of water through the day.

When I got home I felt like I screwed up a teensy bit. I feel like I ate the house down, but now I list it, it was peanut butter, apple, low fat yog and the remainder of my couscous (like about 50 cals worth) So that was a total of 300 cals max.

So, my calories for the entire day came out at - oh lets round it up in case I forgot an apple somewhere - 2100.

So is that a problem?

No. Not really. It was a snacky sort of day, a day when I had no idea when my next chance to eat might be. I was over-worked, hot, tired, unable to get any rest of respite, I was stressed, nervous and standing up for a lot of it, it was not a sedentary day, it was a day where my actual calorie expenditure would have been at LEAST 2100. So I ate what my body needed. I had the right balance of protein and veg and fruit. In a sensible eating world, I might trade the two treats for some rice and wholemeal bread - but it was a day that warranted a couple of small treats!

I felt like I knew what I was doing and was in control, and because I keep healthy snack food in the house - what might normally have been a fishfinger sandwich late night supper or a pizza order - or a bagel from the all night bagel bake, was 300 cals of good, nutritious whole food and fruit. I'm still about 4lbs down on my start of stepping up weight and I feel like I've started eating intuitively. And I think I have figured out that sugar is not the enemy, it is a condiment, or a sparingly used ingredient, or a meal in itself, taken in small doses at the end of a meal, it satisfies you. Yeah yeah, I knew this all along, but I sort of had to reset myself to really 'get it'.

But hell yeah, tracking and knowing my portion sizes and calories makes it easier to know what I can have and when, so stepping has been invaluable in teaching me that. I find stepping much more effective than the Route to management (it may have changed since 2007, but I remember mine and other users panic about portion sizes so much - in fact I just looked at my Minimins PM folder from back then and I genuinely think that 5 weeks into RTM we were all crazy from beating ourselves up over the portion sizes - we were all messaging each other frantically about THE HUNGER - I'm on week 7 of stepping up now - I can't remember having felt like that once)

And how do I feel about my weight? Well - I saw a pic of me yesterday. I'm sort of medium sized. I am not slim. I have wobbly bits, so yes, there is work to do still, but I have been on a VLCD for 5 months so I want to slow down now and give my body a rest from shedding stones, and make it about managing lbs. If I keep on like I am, I'll lose a couple of lbs a month and eat well. I can tone up and slim down. It's not a race for me now, it's a lifestyle!

 

[Cerulean]

And so yesterday I tried some new food. Goats cheese (prob about 1/3 less cals than the regular cheese I would have chosen) I bought it in a tiny potion pack and had a tiny pot of olives and Serrano ham and a leafy green salad for my tea in the theatre. It was absolutely divine. Simple tastes and all the boost I needed to get through the show. Had another tiny bit of chocolate during the show and a v light supper at home - apple dipped in yogurt.

As I have had two days of being at the energy in/energy out level of calorie consumption, I am going to be stricter with myself today. I have front-loaded my food with a big breakfast and mid morning snack. Have just had an M&S Fuller Longer meal (I wish they would do their calorie calculations with AND without dressing rather than just with) which was about 250 cals. At this stage I am allowed to make up my own meals as long as they fit in the 300 - 350 range and are balanced. I'm starting out with one of the fuller/longer meals as they are based on GL and have a higher protein to carb ratio.

What I am enjoying about tracking is that it allows me to plan my day and balance my choices adequately. I don't think I've ever kept a food diary for 7 weeks before (morelike 3-4 days max) - but there we are - 47 days of logged food.

Due to busyness I can only really update once a day so I sort of compile my thoughts and then email them in from my phone so here's the answer to yesterday's query from Illa...

You asked about hair. Yes. Some hair has come out. But it will all come back again - it's something to do with eating again and new growth pushing out hair that should have fallen out naturally anyway. It really has only kicked in in the last 2 weeks. Lso it's exacerbated by the fact that due to the play my hair is being brushed and restyled about 5 times a day. I just see it as shedding like a dog! They hang onto hair in the winter months when food is scarce and the weather is cold and then in the summer when there is food and warmth, they shed the hairs they've hung onto...so I feel like my hair is thin, but it's not really - there's still plenty to go round!

And so - what next? I'm 4 days into the 7th week (Week Two of 1500 eating) and I'm 3.4lbs lighter than I was at the same point in my cycle last month in abstinence. I think I'm just waiting to up my training and physical activity whilst maintaining calorie consumption of around 1750 a day. Not sure. The only thing that is for sure is that this diary is kind of coming to an end. I will continue maintenance in my blog for sure - Sure I'll drop by with advice on Ye Olde Cambridge Forum and keep popping this diary up to the top again to reassure you all that I'm keeping the weight off. But that's it really - 10 more days of using foodpacks at all - my carbs are back in small portions a couple of times a day and they feel like what ther are meant to be - ballast, rather than the main event. This time there were no binges or cries for help. I'm not obsessing about cake. I'm not sneaking out to the late night shop for caramel crispies. I have loads of energy, my meals don't make me sleepy or EVEN MORE HUNGRY like they used to. So y'know - I'm feeling confident.

And then there was yesterday...I had a good day, balanced meals, but I don't think there was enough protein in them - terrible value for money, really - would prefer to make my own. And so the day went to plan until I bumped into a long missed friend...

Now, remember I told you that I had been a little anxious about all my friendships and stuff. Well last night was proof that I needn't have worried. The good friends will remain good.

I had a few pints of (GASP!) beer. And the rest. This is a diary in the Cambridge forum so I am not going to bang on about what I ate. Lets just say that I tracked the whole day's food and rather than just ignoring it or guesstimating it I know precisely how much I ate and drank all day. 4500 cals.

I do not judge, I merely have to correct my plan! Today I am going to stick to the calorie limits, tomorrow when I have time to make proper salads and am not knackered, I will stick to the correct form.

 

[Illa]

oh thanks for updating, hope you will go on writing you diary here, but buddy it's your choice. Sometimes we just need to move along. I'll pop into your blog to see what's going on then A 7 week food diary ? that is something I would love to achieve ! And I know you don't, but I will still say that you don't have to worry about yesterday's choices. How did you enjoy alcohol by the way ? I hope my friends are as good as yours, because sometimes I'm worrying seeing some peoples reactions....

 

[Cerulean]

Okay then, play is done, normal life without an acting job resumes (but that's okay, there's a new show in the offing)
I have had 4 days of eating half utter rubbish, half my proper diet. I have noted the calories and written down every last item of junk (and looking up their caloric values online has not been fun). The upshot being that eating like that makes me tired and irritable - drains me of energy and makes me lethargic and not hungry on waking - not being hungry on waking means I don't eat til lunchtime - so just like the old days.

So that was my 4 day 'experiment'. I have to confess it has strengthened some of my friendships and I have had a lovely time socially and I've made a great new friend and post-work exercise buddy so - gain a couple of pounds, gain a couple of friends, eh?!

But seriously, it stops there. I didn't exercise at all last week, mainly because of fear of tiredness and partly because of lack of hours in the day and also because of not being able to lug my gym kit around. I could have tried to fit some lunchtime walks in, I suppose, but again, the weather - bla bla bla. They're not really excuses...my life was just not exercise-shaped last week. It is this week, so I must make sure I learn how to pick it up again!

The pattern I am noticing is lack of exercise = increase in calories. Exercise supresses my emotional hunger by lowering my cortisol levels, I suspect. Also - going theourgh stage nerves each night can't have helped with stress hormone production. Oh and the other thing I have learned is that whilst I have been on Cambridge, my local's food menu has changed. For the worse, so I'll never be able to have my favourite meal there again, so I can break that food habit without even trying.

So I have 3 shiny new lbs that really don't belong there; I suspect if I go back to proper 1500 calorie eating and exercising they will vanish over the next 4-5 days. Suspect? No...I know!

 

[Cerulean]

There we go, back to normal. 250 cal breakfast, 350 cal lunch apple for a snack, a "cream tea" after walking home (a cream tea is Earl Grey and a small bowl of strawbs and 0% fat greek yoghurt!) - I Boris Biked up to Shoreditch Park and walked home from there (about 40 mins) in the blustery wind) just to ease my legs back in for running tomorrow lunchtime. Work is massively busy at the moment so I must be ruthless about walking away from my desk to get my run in tomorrow.

Tonight for supper I shall have fish and greens. I must do a 30 min tidy first so I can't hang around here gassing.

 

[Cerulean]

Yesterday was a funny old day, my first properly free day in months. And it went well/didn't go well in some ways. Food was perfect, balanced meals, even my fruit consumption was exemplary, tiny bit of couscousy carb with the salad bought at lunch...made a sort of omeletty chilli pancake thing and had that with lots of yummy spring greens and purple sprouting. Calorie consumption around 1400 cals. Probably drank less water and tea than usual. I walk/cycled home, the 30 minute tidy turned into a 90 minute whirlwind of scrubbing and throwing. But at bedtime I couldn't sleep - it was long after 3am when I finally did and then I barely got 4 hours. Missing sleep is not good for post VLCDing as it can give you hunger pangs, but I seem to be surviving today - I just have to remember if I get a bit growly for food, that it's not genuine. Not that I have - have had a mackerel salad and a light breakfast. As a result I didn't bring my running kit to work (busy at work and I'll get to it tomorrow after a proper night's sleep, I promise).

One day's good eating resulted in the scary extra 4lbs disappearing instantly so I'm still maintaining my original maintenance weight...but I did overeat/drink by about 8000 cals last week, so for every day's worth of overeating I need three of sticking at around 1500-1800 cals to truly balance out. Anyway, how I ate yesterday is how I eat now. It is my actual food. Last week was not a return to old form, or a warning sign...it was interesting to observe how little good it did me, how much less energy I had with all that extra crap. And even today feeling a little under the weather, the food I ate yesterday and today ahs set me up well. I feel okay. Bright but tired.

 

[CheeseGirl]

You go, Sarah! It seems it's all about where your head is and yours is defo in the right place

 

[Cerulean]

I slept for - er - 12 hours. This morning I was back to a much lighter weight - all the motivation I need to stick to simple eating!

 

[Illa]

great C. enjoy your lighter day

 

[Cerulean]

So - I think it's 8 weeks since I stopped SSing and started stepping up. Yes - it definitely is. All is well - holding firm at around 164lbs. Cycled 3 miles, walked 5 miles ran 2 k swam 1 k and was on the cross trainer for 30 minutes today. Yesterday was similar for exercise, I enjoy it - it's not a chore, it means I can have a big steak and salad for my tea and yesterday I had a piece of cake! For supper I had 0% fat yoghurt tandoori chicken and salad, so you know - it all balances.

I cannot believe the difference between this time and last time. I have bread a couple of times a week, I mix things up a bit, I've eaten out, I've even had chips once! No sugar frenzies, I've had a chocolate bar after lunch like a normal person might and there was no more chocolate bar action in the same day! If I have one, I'm happily stopping there.

I honestly cannot believe it was as simple as just following the Cambridge steps. But it was. I'll write a bit more about what worked for me (I really think that holding carbs off for so long an introducing them very gradually was the key to this). But also exercise.

But yeah - I just wanted to check in to say that 6 months and 8 days on I am 5.5 st lighter and holding! My storecupboards and fridge only have low GL foods in them, all refined carbs are whole when I have them and I make sure there's always a tasty bowl of salad in the fridge plus the protein to make it into a good balanced meal and apples and nuts in the desk at work. I've even progressed onto bananas and I was fine!

Go me!

 

[Cerulean]

Also, I am full! I can't eat anything else. You have no idea what a huge difference this makes to me! I used to be always hungry. Especially after big meals.

 

[Illa]

I so relate to what you said about eating and exercise. The days when I'm exercising I don't even think about eating "on the side". Exercise seem to take my hunger away....So I decided to give a go at kettlebells after Jilian, can't wait to start And yes definitely more insight on what worked going up the steps for CD will be help to a lot of us, I'm sure. Good luck on your "new" life C.

 

[Illa]

up C. wonder how you are doing

 

[*Shanny*]

Morning sarah how you doing petal ? X

 

[Cerulean]

Hello Minis!!

You may remember that the final end of this process (for me) was due to be capped off with my mother's 60th birthday celebrations, after that point I am officially in the 'real world'. So last weekend, there was a fabulous buffet and a 7 course tasting menu at Raymond Blanc's lovely Manoir - we saw him wandering around outside talking to tv crews! (I almost yelled 'Oi! Raymond! Why aren't you cooking my lunch' but thought it would have been unseemly - Seven courses might sound like a lot but 4 of the courses can't have been much over 100 calories and the other three were so sublime that I'm happy never to think about the calories as sometimes food really does equal happiness! It's inspired me to learn to be a better cook and make more interesting things at home, rather than functional sling it in the freezer and whack it out on defrost kind of cooking.

I looked knockout at my Mum's party in a Julien Macdonald snakeskin dress (size 14 but it's a slim cut) so much so that 3 women asked if they could have the dress if I ever got bored of it.

And the damage? Hmmm...well the week before had been a bit of a party week, I had a canape and free champagne tasting on the Wednesday and my local pub (I am finally a local in my area of London!) had a free lock-in and I did a bit of drunken socialising, yes I have had a few beers - and I ate fried food at my parents' (admittedly this time, I always had it with a large salad, I can't stand carbs on top of rich food any more, I always have to have clean fresh greenery with it - so my tastes have definitely be altered by stepping) So the damage all told was 5lbs over a week. I knew technically that only 2lbs of that was overeating because I kept track of the calories in and out, and after 3 days of behaving myself I am back to where I was after all the canapes, so I suspect with a spot of extra exercise (I really didn't plan that into my weekend) it'll come off. In fact in the last month I have exercised far less in September, due to plays and auditions and socialising than in July and August...and it shows...that said, I am only a pound heavier than the day I stopped SSing 2 months ago, which bearing in mind the September I have had, that's not too bad. I just need to focus more on being active regularly - as for the food...there are a couple of small issues, but I really don't reach for the chocolate or the icecream like I did after Lighter Life - I'm happy with just one of a sweet thing and leave it there - so it appears that I'm not having the ghrelin/leptin issues I had...I bought a sandwich and a drink from Sainsburys and it cost 1.50 more than a meal deal so I got the crisps to save money (I almost threw them back at the snotty til assistant - how ridiculous - I didn't want them but without them they were going to charge me more!) and - yeah - I ate them and I was bored by them - they've been the only crisps I've had and I really wouldn't mind if I never had a packet again in my life. I like nuts, fruit and yoghurt, they make me feel good and energised and full - I feel like I am getting nourished by the food I eat rather than poisoned.

Do you know what else I have noticed though? My body really doesn't get on with carrots! They make me bloated. I never knew!

I am starting to eat richer, fattier foods and eating all the things I love when I fancy them as long as I track them and know what the actual caloric damage was, I can see why my weight goes up and down and when. I know when I've tried eating out of anxiety and my body and mind are both way better at stopping than they ever used to be.

I so still have another stone to lose, but I am not sweating that. My prime aim is to stay at 12st and manage living my life at that weight - I am comfortable and normal here. Once I've nailed that, I'll slowly lose the last 16lbs until I am a healthy BMI. Although, now the social calendar for my year has calmed down, I may start doing that naturally through exercise and defaulting to The Way I Eat. Yesterday I had fruit followed by hummus and carrots for breakfast then I had a quinoa, avocado and feta salad from M&S (I only had half the creamy dressing - which is a brand new behaviour for me) for supper I had a cottage cheese salad with a few anchovies to give it a salty kick and some figs and raspberries. About 1700 calories. In order to lose the weight gained over last week, I didn't need to be strict, I just needed to eat normally and swap treats for fruit and get moving again.

So there you go...I'll check in again in a week or so as I may have marathon news by then. From then on it'll probably be once a month just to let you know I've maintained.

 

[Surfhunny]

Well done!! It's great to hear that you're in control and can still enjoy social occasions!! Please do keep us up dated with how you're doing because you've certainly inspired me to get back on with things instead of making excuses as to why I can't/shouldn't!!

Good luck with maintaining, not that you need it by the sounds of it

 

[spangles]

brilliant - i'd love to see a photo of the JM dress. Or preferably of you in it.

 

[bettiesrevenge]

Sarah, I am just catching up with you.

Its sooo fabulous that you are living a normal post CD life and it's not all straight up and down.

I was visably drooling at the raymond blanc resturant outing, 7 courses - wow, there must have been some tastes going on there and much like spangly spangles, I need to be seeing THAT dress.

Continue being good to yourself sista!

 

[Cerulean]

So, nearly a week on and a little lighter and I weigh less than I did when I finished SSing. I had a fantastically social weekend, making new friends and gadding about. I've bought a new winter coat - a size 14 so I can get chunky knits on under it and lost of flirty size 12 casual dresses. I have lost some muscle tone since stopping SSing probably because I'm just not doing the weights work that I was, but I have big plans for that. There's a new Bikram Studio opening near my office with a really cheap deal for the first 30 days, so I am thinking of taking up the infamous Bikram Yoga 30 in 30 challenge.

I didn't get a marathon place, but I have found one in the Lake District that I'd rather like to do next July - I shall have a think about that. Lake District = Hills = Erk!!

Looking at my calories in, calories out spreadsheet I can confirm that my Sedentary Basal Metabolic Rate (ie, me, sitting at my desk all day barely moving) is approximately er 1700 calories, which is correct (in fact quite a bit higher than expected) for someone of my weight and height - so once again a VLCD has not 'destroyed my metabolism' and don't let anyone tell you that - it is not true...it might make you unusually hungry after you have finished it if you don't follow the steps and keep close tabs on your behaviour, but unless you already have metabolic issues, probably not, so shush to all you haters - I have a spreadsheet!

Er - what else have I learned? You need vitamins and nuts and oily fish after you have finished - or at least I do. I seem to overeat on days where I have had not eaten enough essential fats. Do not be scared of good oils...introduce them slowly and enjoy!

I have a go of something chocolate or cake-based about twice a week, but on the whole I can leave all that stuff alone.

Oh - here's the big breakthrough...I can have cheese in the house and forget that it's there! (I know) admittedly I do not keep bread or crackers in the house, so it's usually eaten with fruit or celery reducing the calorie impact...it's an ingredient rather than something I polish off mindlessly.

I tend to frontload my calories - so I eat about 700 cals across breakfast/mid morning snack and then about 350-500 cals for lunch and then 500 cals in the evening. If I go over by a huge bit (and yes, it does happen!) then I keep to those limits strictly for a few days or even knock back to 1200-1300 and the extra 2-3lbs just disappears. I get less hungry when I exercise more as long as I eat something protein based with a piece of fruit straight after a heavy session.

I still treat potatoes, bread and pasta as things I have twice a week max, rather than everyday bulk. I had two 5 day gaps in my exercise schedule in September, but other than that I have done at least 200 - 250 cals worth of exercise (ie about 20-25 mins) 3-4 times a week minimum.

Tracking is important, I can see the impact of gaps, of one too many training sessions missed, or one too many meals out. Even on crazy days (there have been a couple of 5000 calorie days, not in a bingey way, just in a constant grazing kind of way!) I have felt full the next morning and not needed to eat so much on the following two days, so with a couple of 1500 cal days and 2 hours of exercise (that I genuinely want to do than feel I HAVE to do) it all balances out. As long as I keep writing it all down and being honest with myself!