CharleyBarley - my new 2014 diary with pics

[Charleybarley]

Oh I get you alright!
It's like if we say no to something, then we expect a decent loss because of that!
My way of thinking was so much better last year...I dunno what's changed but I'm trying to focus one day at a time and highlight wee positive things and hold on to them.

I think I expected more cos I purposely joined a class at night, then had more than a week at it and between weighing for the first time at 9:30 am and going from one extreme to the next...I expected more.
It pisses me off that people fart about with things and lose lots, and like us sometimes, we do it properly and don't always see the results. But I guess we're all different and I'm just jealous lol

I felt rotten for you reading about your mum...not sure how much I can say about what I really think cos she's your mum and I'm big on redirecting others....but take from that what you will lol....my response for you is grrrrrrr!!! x

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Awwwwwwww I've read all posts and don't really know what to say. I was going to ask why/how you'd put 5lbs on but then you answered the question, have you thought about making your own dips & taking them to the bbq's with you, not too sure about drink, I like a full glass of wine, or a shot without the added mixer so can't really help there. Do you have an Aldi nearby, they currently have some nice syn free fizzy in, one in particular I like is Mexican Lime but I did buy tequila to go with it, lol.

Not sure what to say about your mum, could somebody else have a word with her rather than you saying something & it all blowing out of proportion xx

Ah thanks ladies. Don't get me wrong, I love my mum, she is a very funny and kind lady and perhaps I haven't painted her in a very nice light. She says these things in a jokey manner, but it does hurt me - she has said it a couple of times and the second time she said it I said "why don't you look at yourself before preaching on me" and she agreed and laughed. She has bought herself a size 14 dress for the wedding which she is desperate to get into, but it is a small 14 and she has a massive bust which she can't do a damn thing about, so she needs to lose another 2 stone, she IS doing well and I can't take that from her. But she isn't very supportive when it comes to me, I have to admit. She IS supportive when I am doing well, but not so much when I am not doing well.

That said, she will probably be lovely on Saturday when I try my dress on. I am going to try not to let my disappointment (if there is any) be visible - sadly I wear my tears on my sleeve!

We will see. I have a good tailor lined up to take it in as I lose the weight - I WILL LOSE THE WEIGHT! But in case I don't, I will have a dress that fits me and a husband who loves me regardless of what the numbers say on a set of scales.


xxxx

 

[Charleybarley]

Oh and the mexican lime thing is a great idea, in fact I was only saying a little while ago about the lime and soda mix that tesco do - I am not a fan of vodka, but I am going to try it with dark rum - its a weird mix, but rum and lime goes together! I will give it a go.

 

[hendopig]

And you've perfectly summed it up there :
"But in case I don't, I will have a dress that fits me and a husband who loves me regardless of what the numbers say on a set of scales. "

I know that I and people whose diaries I read are slaves to the scales. I weigh myself about 10 times a day and it gets out of hand as i'm not really sure whats going to have changed between 7am and 7:20am? Etc. Its SO HARD not to think about numbers all the time but its not all about that. Emsie posted a brilliant post the other day about scales and what they CAN'T tell you and it was brilliant. They can't tell you what a brillant person you are, how hilarious you are etc, there were about 30 things on the list.

Your Mum - families feel like they can say things to each other that you wouldn't to anyone else as cos you're family you won't be offended. Hard times. I'm sure she will be lovely too and will be overjoyed when she see's you in that dress. To be fair, I think at time me and the Mum could murder each other, we really know how to rub each other up the wrong way!

I'm glad you're back Charley, I totally miss you when you aren't xx

 

[Charleybarley]

And you've perfectly summed it up there :
"But in case I don't, I will have a dress that fits me and a husband who loves me regardless of what the numbers say on a set of scales. "

I know that I and people whose diaries I read are slaves to the scales. I weigh myself about 10 times a day and it gets out of hand as i'm not really sure whats going to have changed between 7am and 7:20am? Etc. Its SO HARD not to think about numbers all the time but its not all about that. Emsie posted a brilliant post the other day about scales and what they CAN'T tell you and it was brilliant. They can't tell you what a brillant person you are, how hilarious you are etc, there were about 30 things on the list.

Your Mum - families feel like they can say things to each other that you wouldn't to anyone else as cos you're family you won't be offended. Hard times. I'm sure she will be lovely too and will be overjoyed when she see's you in that dress. To be fair, I think at time me and the Mum could murder each other, we really know how to rub each other up the wrong way!

I'm glad you're back Charley, I totally miss you when you aren't xx

Ahhh, thanks gorgeous girl. Yes my mum is similar to your mum in that respects. She thinks she can say what she wants...she (and my sister) are quite high maintenance in their appearances in general, I am not at all - in that respect I am the black sheep - I will meet up for a coffee with them on a Saturday (they go to Lakeside every saturday to shop and for a mooch, my idea of hell!) and I will be talking to them and I can see my mum scrutinising something on my face, then she will say "Charlotte, you really need to sort your eyebrows out, they are well overdue for a wax!" or "Charlotte your roots are terrible" blah blah blah. If I had my way I would just stop dying my hair because its so inconvenient! But I think I would be burnt at the stakes by the two witches of Lakeside!! They can't say anything about my roots at the moment (they are terrible) because for the first time in my adult life I am going to visit a hair salon, their hair salon... and they couldn't be happier! I spent years dyeing my own hair and it looks unprofessional, like two tone, where there is a build up of dye on the ends - so I figured I should grow up and get over my very old fear of a hair salon (a fear I have had since I was 10 years old and they cut my hair too short and I look like I was wearing a helmet!!) I usually just go to my sister's friend who trims the ends. So anyway they managed to get me in, but not until August 2nd, so I have had to NOT dye my hair for a few months. I see them looking, but they don't say a word!

I am glad to be back too Stacey, I miss the cameraderie on here, to be honest I felt I needed to step away for a little and do my own thing, my own thing being - eat like a pig! I am back now though!

xxx

 

[xmisskx]

Totally get what you mean with it just being wee digs here and there, I'm lucky to have not been in the same position with my mum but I've experienced it from elsewhere!

What do you say when they mention eg your eyebrows? Do they know it hurts you?
I think I'd prob say, I'm so glad I have you as friends and not enemies...I can only imagine what you's would say if you didn't love me!
Or I'd say...yeah, just trying to copy your look...but then I'm a nightmare for sarcastic comments at times lol

I don't think they realise sometimes, it's prob not meant in a way to hurt you directly....but listen, your fella knows what he's signed up for and regardless of anything else...your day is about you both! x

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[Charleybarley]

OMFG look at what has just turned up on the floor:






Right now I want it more than I want anything I have ever wanted in my life! And I am not a sweet tooth!!!

Get thee behind me satan!!!

 

[Charleybarley]

Totally get what you mean with it just being wee digs here and there, I'm lucky to have not been in the same position with my mum but I've experienced it from elsewhere!

What do you say when they mention eg your eyebrows? Do they know it hurts you?
I think I'd prob say, I'm so glad I have you as friends and not enemies...I can only imagine what you's would say if you didn't love me!
Or I'd say...yeah, just trying to copy your look...but then I'm a nightmare for sarcastic comments at times lol

I don't think they realise sometimes, it's prob not meant in a way to hurt you directly....but listen, your fella knows what he's signed up for and regardless of anything else...your day is about you both! x

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The eyebrows thing doesn't hurt me necessarily, but it makes me angry that people hone in on imperfections, I have always hated that - I wouldn't hone in on theirs - but sometimes it makes you want to participate any mention some of their flaws, but it doesn't make me feel better, it makes me feel like a b!tch.

Anyway, they are the ones who take ages getting ready and are disgustingly jealous at the fact that I am 38 and have no wrinkles and clear skin and don't need foundation, and have these wonderfully massive eyebrows which can be sculpted to any shape (when I can be arsed!), while theirs are wispy and need colouring in/tatooing and their hair is fine and lacklustre and takes ages to get ready, while mine is a great mass of curls which requires hardly any attention to look nice.....maybe that's why they pick on my imperfections, because I have the goods to make something more of myself, but I just don't bother?....hmmmmm something to think about
...

 

[xmisskx]

I just wouldn't ever say anything about anyone's imperfections....cos I'm far from perfect and I'm not sure anyone is!

You just some people where it's just their way...older ppl can be funny with it cos they're not slow in saying things...like my wee great granny when she was here would be like ooooh you're not half putting the weight on lol...it's like aye thanks gran! But yet it's just how they are and no malice meant!

I wouldn't be able to resist a dig back but not too *****y or to make them feel ****, more to give the dig back and acknowledge that you're aware of what they just did...does that make sense?

Nowt more queer than folk toots...but you take your wrinkle free face and keep it held high when things bug you!

What is that delight in the pic??
It's prob got worms and beasties in it so best stay away lol x

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[Charleybarley]

I just wouldn't ever say anything about anyone's imperfections....cos I'm far from perfect and I'm not sure anyone is! You just some people where it's just their way...older ppl can be funny with it cos they're not slow in saying things...like my wee great granny when she was here would be like ooooh you're not half putting the weight on lol...it's like aye thanks gran! But yet it's just how they are and no malice meant! I wouldn't be able to resist a dig back but not too *****y or to make them feel ****, more to give the dig back and acknowledge that you're aware of what they just did...does that make sense? Nowt more queer than folk toots...but you take your wrinkle free face and keep it held high when things bug you! What is that delight in the pic?? It's prob got worms and beasties in it so best stay away lol x Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins

I try to be a good person and not be disparaging about people too. I know how much it hurts, I had plenty of nasty comments growing up, not by family but by strangers saying throw away comments - they are everlasting to the person in question though. I try to accentuate by positives and not be shy about my features that I like, but my beauty regimes often slip!!!!

Yeah old people think they can say anything don't they? I don't tend to take much heed to it, but growing up whenever I saw my grandad he would often comment! When I met micks grandma in Barbados, she was skin and bones, had 10 children, Mick introduced me and the first words out of her delightfully Bajan accented mouth were 'you're fat, don't get no fatter' !!!! Mick was mortified. She has passed now, so I won't speak ill of the dead!!!!

That delight was a giant red velvet cake, I never touched it... Although I may have slid my finger across the box and tasted the buttercream.....!

Xx

 

[xmisskx]

I try to be a good person and not be disparaging about people too. I know how much it hurts, I had plenty of nasty comments growing up, not by family but by strangers saying throw away comments - they are everlasting to the person in question though. I try to accentuate by positives and not be shy about my features that I like, but my beauty regimes often slip!!!! Yeah old people think they can say anything don't they? I don't tend to take much heed to it, but growing up whenever I saw my grandad he would often comment! When I met micks grandma in Barbados, she was skin and bones, had 10 children, Mick introduced me and the first words out of her delightfully Bajan accented mouth were 'you're fat, don't get no fatter' !!!! Mick was mortified. She has passed now, so I won't speak ill of the dead!!!! That delight was a giant red velvet cake, I never touched it... Although I may have slid my finger across the box and tasted the buttercream.....! Xx

Think that part is syn free lol

Poor mick...those oldies can be hilarious at times. My great gran had also passed abd it's nice to reminisce about the comments etc...just make them part of who they are eh x

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[Charleybarley]

Mondays munchings

B - muesli/granola mix from H&B (HEB) mixed with liberte Yog (1)

L - Ham Salad with dollop of Houmous (8 syns) and WM pitta bread (HEB tweak)

Snack - nana

Pre dinner snack - cos I was starving!

D - Hot Chicken Salad (3) for chilli sauce





Syns - 12

I have decided to use syns/HEB tweaks for the greater good, I would rather use half my syns on healthy but fattening houmous than a bag of crisps for example. I also have avocados (synful as hell!!!) but I think they are so nourishing for you body that I want them to be a part of my diet, so I will used a small one as a HEB. I know it might be considered cheating but I am as concerned about healthy living as I am losing weight. Don't get me wrong I will treat myself some days with naughties that are within syn, and I won't be having avocados daily/weekly but I think that I am at an age where I need to think of my insides as well as my outsides.

 

[rubyeskimo]

I'm sorry to hear that your mum and sister have made you feel like that over the years, hopefully they'll be more supportive on Saturday! When I went to uni my nan used to write me letters and in every single one of them she called me a fat, alcoholic *insert name for a "loose" woman here". I may have been fat but I was neither of the other 2! In her mind she was trying to warn me to stay away from drink and boys and concentrate on myself. I was quite offended at the time though because I thought she genuinely thought those things of me.

Glad to see I'm not the only one who snacks on pickles and cooked meat before dinner and I am literally drooling at the red velvet cake. I'll just go back to my mixed berries and yogurt and pretend that they taste like red velvet...

 

[Charleybarley]

I'm sorry to hear that your mum and sister have made you feel like that over the years, hopefully they'll be more supportive on Saturday! When I went to uni my nan used to write me letters and in every single one of them she called me a fat, alcoholic *insert name for a "loose" woman here". I may have been fat but I was neither of the other 2! In her mind she was trying to warn me to stay away from drink and boys and concentrate on myself. I was quite offended at the time though because I thought she genuinely thought those things of me.

Glad to see I'm not the only one who snacks on pickles and cooked meat before dinner and I am literally drooling at the red velvet cake. I'll just go back to my mixed berries and yogurt and pretend that they taste like red velvet...

My god! I hit the like button because I can kind of related, but that's awful!!! What an awful thing to call someone, let alone your own granddaughter! I am not sure I am liking this type of "tough love" at all.

I know I am making my sister and mum sound like beasts, but I do get on with them really well and I love them both dearly...warts and all! My sister is my chief bridesmaid, so she can't be all bad. Its my best friend Cara who keeps me on the level and on the day and the lead up, she will be the one hand holding and looking after me.

How are your wedding preps coming Rubs? x

 

[rubyeskimo]

My god! I hit the like button because I can kind of related, but that's awful!!! What an awful thing to call someone, let alone your own granddaughter! I am not sure I am liking this type of "tough love" at all.

I know I am making my sister and mum sound like beasts, but I do get on with them really well and I love them both dearly...warts and all! My sister is my chief bridesmaid, so she can't be all bad. Its my best friend Cara who keeps me on the level and on the day and the lead up, she will be the one hand holding and looking after me.

How are your wedding preps coming Rubs? x

I probably should point out that she was diagnosed with Dementia last year so she probably hasn't been 100% there mentally for a while. It's great that you've got someone like Cara to help you get through all the madness. I'm only having my maid of honor and that's it. She lives in Bolton so she can't really help me with planning things which is a shame but I'm taking her to the National Wedding Show in Manchester in October because she's getting married in 2016, so we can immerse ourselves in all things wedding related then!

As for the wedding planning, we haven't really sorted anything else out! Been looking at honeymoon options and we've definitely decided on America. Hoping to stay at Disney in Florida for a week before heading to New York. I've never been to America, DF went to Disney when he was a teenager and we're both big kids at heart! DF brought home some brochures last night and we like one of the mid range resorts there but I'm hoping we could get an amazing deal on one of the top price ones (a girl can dream!) Oh I tell a lie, I have bought my shoes but only because they were brand new on ebay and I managed to get them for 1/5 of the RRP! I've been lusting after them for years and had given up hope of finding them and then I was inspired to just do a quick search. Not going to give too many details away but they have about a 4 inch heel but are also surprisingly comfortable.

How about you? Do the venue provide you with photographer, flowers etc or do you have to book your own?

 

[xmisskx]

i don't think you made them out to be beasts hun...you were just mentioning that sometimes they say things that hurt you a bit...and that's all i took from it.
we can all relate to someone in our life who does the same thing so don't be worrying

hope you're really well today x

 

[Charleybarley]

I probably should point out that she was diagnosed with Dementia last year so she probably hasn't been 100% there mentally for a while. It's great that you've got someone like Cara to help you get through all the madness. I'm only having my maid of honor and that's it. She lives in Bolton so she can't really help me with planning things which is a shame but I'm taking her to the National Wedding Show in Manchester in October because she's getting married in 2016, so we can immerse ourselves in all things wedding related then!

As for the wedding planning, we haven't really sorted anything else out! Been looking at honeymoon options and we've definitely decided on America. Hoping to stay at Disney in Florida for a week before heading to New York. I've never been to America, DF went to Disney when he was a teenager and we're both big kids at heart! DF brought home some brochures last night and we like one of the mid range resorts there but I'm hoping we could get an amazing deal on one of the top price ones (a girl can dream!) Oh I tell a lie, I have bought my shoes but only because they were brand new on ebay and I managed to get them for 1/5 of the RRP! I've been lusting after them for years and had given up hope of finding them and then I was inspired to just do a quick search. Not going to give too many details away but they have about a 4 inch heel but are also surprisingly comfortable.

How about you? Do the venue provide you with photographer, flowers etc or do you have to book your own?

Shame your MOH is so far away, i imagine you will be bombarding her with texts of photos of ideas and things you see, i have been doing the same with mine and she only lives 5 mins from me!

Thats right, get the best and most fun part sorted - the honeymoon!!! Holidays are so our thing, we live for our next holiday! I love America, I have only been to Miami and NY but I love America because of films and TV! You get a romantic view of the States as a kid and growing up, the whole Coyote Ugly scene of NY - ironically when we were there, we couldn't find any such bars like it! I guess we were looking in the wrong place. I love NY, I took photos of odd things like a policeman doing his traffic signs in the middle of the road and steam coming out of vents in the street! I had to have a hot dog from a vendor too, it was nothing special, but I have a photo of it nonetheless!

4 inch heels do not sound comfortable at all Ruby! They sound barbaric and cruel! - I can't do high heels, I am not build for them, I walk like a transvestite in heels! its all very unnatural. Mick laughs at me when I wear heels because I adopt a weird walk, a cross between a man and bambi!

The wedding planner at the hotel is dealing with flowers and the cake, table decs and things like that, things I can't bear to think about, its all very tropical and generic which is fine by me, I shudder at the thought of stressing over which flowers to choose. I have opted not to have a photographer as well, a bold move I know, but we both absolutely hate posing for photos, I find the situation of being put in a fake stance so unnatural and cringy. When we went on the cruise last year Mick wanted us to get a formal photo done and I couldn't cope, they posed us with him behind me and our arms on top of each other and his other hand on my waist and it was just so awful I got the giggles, which turned into hysteria and of course everyone who was in the atrium was watching us and they started laughing and I couldn't control myself! The photographer got the hump and we walked away with no photos. The next time we had a formal night we managed to get one on the stairs but I hated it so much! So we are just asking our friends and family to take photos and we will gather them together and have more natural photos.

Other than that, its just all about saving for us now. Which we are going to have to do a lot of over the next year, as well you know - what with planning your own, its not a cheap venture is it!?

i don't think you made them out to be beasts hun...you were just mentioning that sometimes they say things that hurt you a bit...and that's all i took from it.
we can all relate to someone in our life who does the same thing so don't be worrying

hope you're really well today x

Thanks Miss K, I have had a great week and I have been thinking a lot about tomorrow and the dress fitting and I have decided to be positive, my only hope is that it does up (which I am sure it will) and then the way it looks will be a starting point to where I want to be this time next year. I will be scrutinising every aspect of my body in that dress and seeing what needs to change. But it will be a positive event and I will not be showing my sis or mum weakness, only happiness and excitement.

I am looking forward to it!

x

 

[Charleybarley]

Friday!

Coo-eey I haven't been around much this week, I have been mega busy at work and not been in muchn in the evenings. I have been pretty good though. Not strictly SW, but when am I ever! More healthy eating and conscious choices. I have lost 4lb since Monday, which I am well chuffed about, I reckon it was mainly jelly weight from the weekend. I have been drinking tons of water and been pretty good.

Today's food:

B - Egg Wrap (thanks Miss K!!!!)

S - Bowl of cherries, bluebs and coconut (ellicit coconut, how can something so clean and healthy tasting be illegal on SW!)

L - Chicken Salad with WM Pitta.

S - 2 apples, 1 nectarine and a liberte yog

D - Chicken Thighs (Mick's speciality herbs and spices - my favourite Mick Dish!) with Rice, Brocolli, Sweetcorn and Gravy

 

[xmisskx]

Fab loss chick! Well done!

Egg wraps are good eh...really handy and nice cos it feels like something different x

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[Happy Holidays]

Fab loss, don't be so dismissive of a fabulous loss, that's brill you should put it in big font!!! x

BTW I was planing next years holiday in Florida, and was working out driving time to Charleston, then I got the Amtrak map out and thought how amazing it would be to go on the train from Seattle to Chicago, it's now on the 'too see' list!!!

 

[hendopig]

4lbs you ledge!! Xx