CharleyBarley - my new 2014 diary with pics

[hendopig]

Ooooh beeee doooo, I wanna be like you-oooh-oooh, I wanna walk like.....

Oh sorry NOT like mowgli! Sorry didn't read that properly ;-)

 

[Charleybarley]

Ooooh beeee doooo, I wanna be like you-oooh-oooh, I wanna walk like.....

Oh sorry NOT like mowgli! Sorry didn't read that properly ;-)

I have that song in my head now!!! You see its truuue an ape like meeee can learn to be huuuuman tooooo.

 

[hendopig]

I hated the jungle book as a kid! Some films I couldn't take to like that. Chitty chitty bang bang, the lady and the tramp and Mary Poppins to name a few.

Did you watch X factor when Katie Wasissel sang that song? You don't strike me as an in on a Saturday to watch X factor kind of girl?

 

[Charleybarley]

I hated the jungle book as a kid! Some films I couldn't take to like that. Chitty chitty bang bang, the lady and the tramp and Mary Poppins to name a few.

Did you watch X factor when Katie Wasissel sang that song? You don't strike me as an in on a Saturday to watch X factor kind of girl?

I hated Chitty Chitty - the child catcher was too scary! Mary Poppins was ace. But I was a more Grease and Grease 2 lover! I guess that's what you get growing up with older siblings!

Me? I am totally an "in on a Saturday night girl" - in fact I hate it when I have to go out on a Friday or Saturday now, I feel cheated out of my weekend!! I am a total lover of nights in, how things change when you get sucked into a comfy relationship!!!! I used to watch X Factor and remember that girl, she drove me nuts! I have taken a huge disliking to those sort of shows now tho. I think reality shows suck big time (except I'm a Celebrity, I can't quite kick that habit!). Did you see Ollie Murs and Robbie Williams do that track on Graham Norton a while ago? They were really good.

 

[Charleybarley]

Happy Monday people (he's gonna step on you again, he's gonna step on yoooooo - a little burst for all those Happy Mondays fan from the 90s? Anyone? Anyone? No, oh just me then!)

I hope everyone had nice weekends. Mine was good, except of course for all the moping I did coz Mick never spent any money on me for Vally Day! Nuff said on that subject! The man is lovely great super smashing, but he is also a bit of a n0b head! No one's perfect eh?

Right. So the bikinis have arrived from Simply Be. I haven't opened the pack yet as I am still at work and I want to be completely alone. I am going to try them on now and perhaps take some pictures - I feel the need for a bit of self-hate, so why not tonight eh?!

I will update later with my food and piccys. Its been a delish food day today!

 

[Charleybarley]

Food today

B - 1x BGTY sausage not enough but I was in a rush

Snack - Greek Yogurt and Honey with Banana

L - Hummus, falafel, greek salad and Warbutons thin. I meant to get wm pitta, but they never had any in my tescos at work - this was so tasty

Snacks - handful of almonds



D - 1/2 Homemade Nandos Chicken and chips. Bit greedy tonight, I meant to have either 1/2 chicken with salad or 1/4 chicken with chips, but I had 1/2 with chips - eeek, still 'twas lovely! I took the skin off!!



Tried the bikinis on, size 18 top and 16 bottoms. The top is too small now so I reckon they will be ok come December, plus it's one of those you can get away with it being too big/small - but the bottoms fit me now! Which I am stoked about, so I am sending them back and reordering in a 14!! No pics, but I wouldn't dream of posting bikini pics on here!!!

 

[xmisskx]

ooh your food looks yummy today...especially the falafel etc!

great news on the bikini's

i hate hate hate putting a swim suit on and have been looking recently at the swim dress/skirtini things you can get...i'd feel so much more comfortable hiding the bits i hate the most!

did you show your fella your stuff on?? x

Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins

 

[Charleybarley]

ooh your food looks yummy today...especially the falafel etc! great news on the bikini's i hate hate hate putting a swim suit on and have been looking recently at the swim dress/skirtini things you can get...i'd feel so much more comfortable hiding the bits i hate the most! did you show your fella your stuff on?? x Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins

Thanks!! Then falafel was delish.

I thought about skirtinis but then thought that I would make myself look bigger, by covering up - so I will go all out, if I lose a bit if weight!! It's my back fat I hate the most!

I did show mick, to be honest I didn't feel too bad about it, he said I looked nice - I think he was just being sweet but he said all the right things - he is slowly redeeming himself. Xxx

 

[Saruk88]

It sounds like your man is very similar to mine. He would just sit in front of the TV rather than doing anything. I coerced him last weekend to come down to Southend and walk along the front, with the idea of going for a beer afterwards (this is usually the clincher for Mick!) and honestly the whole time we were walking, he had a face like a wet weekend! Honestly the day really was a wet weekend, but is face never needed to show it. It was like he was just not enjoying himself. I was raised outside (not like Mowgli or anything!) and was never indoors, but he spent his childhood stuck indoors because his parents never let him or his siblings out - so TV and old films was and is still his only method of enjoyment, its very hard to get someone out of this habit. E.G he doesn't understand why people always want to be outside in the summer?! He had actually said this to me on a number of occasions "why must everyone flock outside, just because the sun is shining?" "Err because the sun IS shining perhaps?!?!" The same goes for going to dinner, why go out, when we can cook - he is getting better on that front, although it has to be on his terms and the food he likes.

I think you have hit on something else that is similar to me. We are like best mates and we have always been this way, which in some ways is so nice, because I always feel comfortable around him and I don't feel I have to make an effort, but in other ways I guess that could be my downfall too. It started in the early days when I used to spend the weekend at his, I would turn up and he would be in his pants and they were holey and saggy and horrible - I on the other hand, made sure i looked nice and had lovely underwear, I asked him didn't he think it would be nice to wear some decent pants to greet his new girlfriend with and he looked really confused and said "why? these are my weekend pants, the one I slouch around in?!" The piece de resistance was when I turned up one day and I went to get in bed in the evening and noticed this massive red stain on the underside of the duvet cover - I asked what it was and he said "oh that, its ketchup, I spilled it on my bed last night, so I turned the duvet over" !!!! I was shocked, and said why didn't you change the sheet, and he said "I didn't think you would notice" lazy, gross sod! So I thought there and then what was good for the goose is good for the gander.

In all honestly, I would much prefer what we have to what others have. We laugh all the time and we love each other's company. He just needs some tweaking here and there!

Yeah Mike is a lot like that. He's fab in a way that if I called him at 3am in the morning wanting a lift, he would pick me up/take me anywhere without batting an eyelid. Little things like he is the most generous and un-lazy person around! I did have to drag him out the flat a little for our walk yesterday but when we got there he was a happy chappy and we had a proper laugh. He also didn't mind when I stopped every 2 seconds to take the same photo but at a slightly different angle, haha.

Ahh no! Ketchup in the bed! I couldn't abide that, haha. I miss the days that Mike went out of his way to tidy/clean whenever I came round. It's different now we live together I guess but do I miss the nice comments etc! He made me feel like the most special person in the world for the first few months. Shame that had to end so fast!

Ahhhh I actually laughed out loud at your mowgli comment! I wish I had been raised by wolves and best friends with a bear and a panther. Amazing.

 

[xmisskx]

Thanks!! Then falafel was delish. I thought about skirtinis but then thought that I would make myself look bigger, by covering up - so I will go all out, if I lose a bit if weight!! It's my back fat I hate the most! I did show mick, to be honest I didn't feel too bad about it, he said I looked nice - I think he was just being sweet but he said all the right things - he is slowly redeeming himself. Xxx

Lol...ooh he's learning well x

Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins

 

[hells2012sw]

Fab news about the s14 bikini pants

Bless Mick and his ketchup! I have to say I am
The more trampy one in our house and he is always moaning about it, I'm also likely to wander around in a onesie and my hair all scraggy, I figure it's a trade off for never getting spoiled anymore, lol

 

[hendopig]

Oi you, don't say that about self loathing, I don't love it.

Amazing result on bikini bottoms. I've never worn a bikini (woe is me!) I go for a tankini and will roll the back up a bit if i lay on my front but thats it. I am a right weed. Gaz always says to me to stop worrying but I can't. Worrying is my permanent hobby.

Nando's chicken looked yum. As did falafel, did you make the falafels? I went out with a boy when i was a teenager who was born in Lagos and he said thats all him and his brothers used to eat, it was their go to food. I'd never heard of it back then? Not tried it either. Maybe i should. Actually, not really sure where Lagos is thinking about it *heads off to google and hangs head in shame of lack of geographical knowledge*

 

[Charleybarley]

Oi you, don't say that about self loathing, I don't love it.

Amazing result on bikini bottoms. I've never worn a bikini (woe is me!) I go for a tankini and will roll the back up a bit if i lay on my front but thats it. I am a right weed. Gaz always says to me to stop worrying but I can't. Worrying is my permanent hobby.

Nando's chicken looked yum. As did falafel, did you make the falafels? I went out with a boy when i was a teenager who was born in Lagos and he said thats all him and his brothers used to eat, it was their go to food. I'd never heard of it back then? Not tried it either. Maybe i should. Actually, not really sure where Lagos is thinking about it *heads off to google and hangs head in shame of lack of geographical knowledge*

Oh you are funny, Lagos is in Nigeria (although there is a Lagos in Portugal too) I thought falafels were mainly Moroccon/Greek - but they I am sure the Africans know a thing or two about the humble chickpea too! They werent homemade no. I have done them before myself, but these were shop bought and very nice. You should try them hun, they are usually about 1 syn for one ball, well the Cauldron ones are. Try them, you will like them I reckon. Do you like veggie burgers etc? if you do, you will like em.

Stacey, I have no idea why you worry about how you will look in a bikini! You are not big at all!!!!!! There is always someone bigger than you on a beach, in fact there is always someone bigger than ME on a beach in a bikini and they don't care, so why should we.. like I said last week, a friend of mine (also a big girl) said "brown fat looks nicer than white fat!" you don't need to saunter around in a bikini, just cover up when you go walkabouts, its only for laying down in and going in the sea/pool.

 

[Charleybarley]

Fab news about the s14 bikini pants

Bless Mick and his ketchup! I have to say I am
The more trampy one in our house and he is always moaning about it, I'm also likely to wander around in a onesie and my hair all scraggy, I figure it's a trade off for never getting spoiled anymore, lol

Cheers Hells. I am chuffed actually. Hopefully I will be able to be where I want to be come December, I did say months ago that I would be content with 14 bottom and 16 top. You never know...its just the bit in the middle of the bikini that is on show that I am worried about!!!!

Funnily enough, when I was single and had no one to impress I was also just as trampy as him, but now I have turned into a bit of a Miss Tidy Up Psycho! Although I do expect him to be AS tidy. Wishful thinking!

 

[hendopig]

Oh you are funny, Lagos is in Nigeria (although there is a Lagos in Portugal too) I thought falafels were mainly Moroccon/Greek - but they I am sure the Africans know a thing or two about the humble chickpea too! They werent homemade no. I have done them before myself, but these were shop bought and very nice. You should try them hun, they are usually about 1 syn for one ball, well the Cauldron ones are. Try them, you will like them I reckon. Do you like veggie burgers etc? if you do, you will like em. Stacey, I have no idea why you worry about how you will look in a bikini! You are not big at all!!!!!! There is always someone bigger than you on a beach, in fact there is always someone bigger than ME on a beach in a bikini and they don't care, so why should we.. like I said last week, a friend of mine (also a big girl) said "brown fat looks nicer than white fat!" you don't need to saunter around in a bikini, just cover up when you go walkabouts, its only for laying down in and going in the sea/pool.

Oooops maybe it wasn't Lagos? Erm this is awkward lol. Too long ago to remember!

I know I should just not care on the beach, I have as much right as anyone else to strip off. It's all lack of body confidence, been like it for years. I said on another thread a whole ago that I was always a fat child and everyone in my class at primary used to make a point of me being the fattest. We had to do a project about bodies once which involved being weighed and our weight written on the blackboard. I think I'm a bit traumatised from that! I've only relaxed about telling people how much I weigh in the last year, it was a take to death bed secret before but it's only a sodding number. It's doesn't make me a different person. Ooooh feeling all empowered now. Maybe I'll work on it for our next holiday. If I ever let him spend any money ever again. I am on a mega saving mission.

I like veggie burgers yeah, I will try them! Thanks lovely X

 

[Charleybarley]

Oooops maybe it wasn't Lagos? Erm this is awkward lol. Too long ago to remember!

I know I should just not care on the beach, I have as much right as anyone else to strip off. It's all lack of body confidence, been like it for years. I said on another thread a whole ago that I was always a fat child and everyone in my class at primary used to make a point of me being the fattest. We had to do a project about bodies once which involved being weighed and our weight written on the blackboard. I think I'm a bit traumatised from that! I've only relaxed about telling people how much I weigh in the last year, it was a take to death bed secret before but it's only a sodding number. It's doesn't make me a different person. Ooooh feeling all empowered now. Maybe I'll work on it for our next holiday. If I ever let him spend any money ever again. I am on a mega saving mission.

I like veggie burgers yeah, I will try them! Thanks lovely X

Oh how funny!!! To Lagos or not to Lagos, that is the question...was he black? That may be your first indicator, although tis also possible to be White African. He could have been Portuguese, that Lagos. Or maybe it was something more local like Leeds or Leigh on Sea!!!

Oh I remember that time at school, the weighing thing, it happened in our 1st year of secondary school, to a different class and when we appeared in maths, the scales were out from the previous class. I pooped myself that we would have to do it too, and shared my worry to so-called friends who then asked me how much I weighed, which I told them.. they then told others....

I am so scared to say my number that I can't put it on my stats, I have added it a few times, only to take it off out of total shame. The thing is I don't think I look my weight necessarily, so I feel even more ashamed to say the figure. Mick doesn't know it either, he would be floored if he knew my true weight. He goes on about his own weight and the number and says how bad and shameful it is and I think to myself "oh boy, if only you knew I weighed a bit more than you, Mr 6 foot, built like a brick sh!t house compared to 5 foot 3 me" - I used to have the naked body hang up with him too, but that has all but disappeared now.

I guess it doesn't really matter what your number is or what your body looks like, it all comes down to what you think of yourself. Maybe Stacey its time you try it, let the past go and forget about that time in school. Take one or two with you, maybe some cheapos from Primark, so if you get all shy and feel you can't do it, then you won't have lost much.

xxx

 

[Mrs.S.]

Will try and have a nosey soon xx

 

[Saruk88]

[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif]Ahh charley and Stacey, your stories from school make me feel sad! I can't remember if we ever had to weigh ourselves. Actually, that's a lie! Yes I do! I was best friends with the skinniest girl alive (although to be honest I wasn't a big kid because I did so much sport) and we had to weigh ourself in kg and I remember being really panicked about mine and my friend said 'but why? That's the same weight as her' and pointed to a classmate who was really slim! Probably the nicest thing that girl ever said to me, haha! So that wasn't too traumatising, but that was pre-porker!

Well from your pic Charley I think you look like you're totally gorgeous, so I bet you can rock whatever weight! I too don't think I looked 16 and a half stone - but to be honest I'm two stone down and there's hardly any difference so I guess it makes sense I didn't look that big. I have the world's biggest boobs though and all my weight so far has come from them and my tum which I like to tuck behind high rise leggings anyway!

I think ink you should heed your own advice Charley, it's about who you are, not your number![/FONT]

 

[Mrs.S.]

Ah charley I tried reading, but got a bit lost as to where i got!

I read about you a bit, and eating healthy. Read bits about Mick, and that's about it!

Anything I desperately need to know? xx

 

[Cheese Thief]

Oh I remember that time at school, the weighing thing, it happened in our 1st year of secondary school, to a different class and when we appeared in maths, the scales were out from the previous class. I pooped myself that we would have to do it too, and shared my worry to so-called friends who then asked me how much I weighed, which I told them.. they then told others....

I am so scared to say my number that I can't put it on my stats, I have added it a few times, only to take it off out of total shame. The thing is I don't think I look my weight necessarily, so I feel even more ashamed to say the figure. Mick doesn't know it either, he would be floored if he knew my true weight. He goes on about his own weight and the number and says how bad and shameful it is and I think to myself "oh boy, if only you knew I weighed a bit more than you, Mr 6 foot, built like a brick sh!t house compared to 5 foot 3 me" - I used to have the naked body hang up with him too, but that has all but disappeared now.

I guess it doesn't really matter what your number is or what your body looks like, it all comes down to what you think of yourself. Maybe Stacey its time you try it, let the past go and forget about that time in school. Take one or two with you, maybe some cheapos from Primark, so if you get all shy and feel you can't do it, then you won't have lost much.

xxx

OMG I remember the weighing thing in PE too, it was pretty much fat girl torture. I remember at aged 11 all the other kids were 5/6 stone and I was 11 stone, and they shouted out the weights to the whole class, bloody mortifying! Oh and then there was the naked communal shower they made us get in after the PE lesson, I do NOT miss those days!! I seriously hope things have changed for big kids these days, shaming and embarrassing someone into losing weight just doesn't work. If anything I think it drove me to food for comfort even more. It doesn't make me sad now, just incredibly angry. It's basically a form of bullying and there should be no place for that in school.

As for being ashamed of your weight, I know exactly how that feels too. At my biggest I was 24st 10lbs, I was too heavy for my old scale so pretended it had broken as an excuse to buy another one (I was too ashamed to weigh in somewhere like Boots). Then when I saw my weight I was too scared to join Slimming World as I thought I'd be too fat for the scales (!!), so I struggled for 6 months trying to lose weight on my own, something which just doesn't work for me. As for telling Chris, I only did that very recently, after losing around 4.5 stone. Even then it was a huuuuge deal for me because I still weighed 4 stone more than him!! Don't feel compelled to tell anyone your weight or put your stats up, just do it when you're good and ready.

I've noticed a huge difference in the way I feel about myself since losing weight. Rather than my weight being a shameful secret that I hide away, I've accepted it's just a number. Something I'm working to improve for a healthier future, but not a shameful secret to beat myself up with. Like you I'm lucky in that I've never looked as big as I weigh, but it's a double edged sword in a way because it just makes it more shocking when you tell people!

xxx