Hey! I've added you to Facebook
My phobia is specifically blood vessels. I'm not scared of needles and have the contraceptive injection every 3 months anyway. I'm not blood phobic. It all revolves around going in to a vein/artery *shudders* When I first started working in veterinary (as a volunteer luckily) I spent a LOT of time conditioning myself to be able to cope with even holding an animal having this done. I spent a lot of time almost fainting (what an awful feeling that is!!) and having to run to the garden for fresh air. I'm much better now and don't often have an issue. Although every now and then I do feel the catheter slide under my thumb and I feel a bit *funny* Lol!
So I am much better and I even went with my friend who is terribly needle phobic (and a vet nurse
) when she had bloods done. But me? Just the thought of it now makes me feel very sick, panicky, my head feels heavy, etc... I have spoken to many people about this and apparently it's quite common in adults who had major surgery as a child. I had open heart surgery, which was obviously very major and would have involved many, many months/years of tests and stuff. Luckily, I don't remember it, but somewhere in my brain does. And it's just gotten to the point of "Enough is enough. I can't cope with that any more"
I last had a blood test done when I was 13. I had 4 people and my Mum hold me down. I panicked SO much that I set off the heart monitors enough for the crash team to come racing in. Not a pleasant experience that one! And since then I have refused every single blood test I've been asked to do. Including the newest one for Raynauds, to make sure it wasn't a rheumetalogical thing going on.
It's such a massive, massive issue for me and I've said for a long time that it would have to be life saving/life changing for me to go through with it. But this kinda could be, couldn't it?
I'm going to have to speak to my Dr on Wed and see if there is anything we can do. Even if it does mean some sort of sedation or 'happy pills' to get me through. I dunno, but if there is a reason for ALL the rubbish health issues I have, and it can be controlled by simple medication??? Bugger.....
Phobia's are awful to live with because no one understands and just thinks you're being dramatic. The thing is, with a true phobia you KNOW you're being irrational, but you can't help it. Whereas I have no doubt that you do get the dramatic screamers and stuff who just want attention. If I could stop the way I feel, I would! And I know it's stupid. Argh! My Dr is really understanding and I have spoken to some nice people, but everyone needs to be understanding and sympathetic and you can't guarantee that! So many health professional people have the mentality of "Oh just shut up and get on with it will you"
Sorry, rant over. It's a horrible subject for me, as I'm sure it is for you.
My weight is ok, but it's very frustrating. I thought it was just me, but if this is stopping me from losing weight and making me gain very quickly then if it's controlled I'd probably be at target and be able to maintain much more easily. Can't believe this could have been stopping me all along!! 4st in over 3 years is a very slow loss, esp as I'm on plan roughly 90 percent of the year! Also explains how I can put on 1st in 2weeks if I'm not careful
I just worked out that my loss so far (61lbs) over 3 years is LESS than 2lb per month. Friggin' hell!
xx