Cheekychinchilla's food and stuff

I'm pretty sure she'll be ok and that it wont be anything nasty. But you can't help worrying can you? Especially when I know all the risks and stuff :(

Haha my Davey is pretty famous too lol. Feel free to add my to Facebook. Anyone can :) I'm Kelly Ann Roberts.x
 
I would update my food, but I'm so very tired and seriously cba ;) I'm within syns and going to finish the week with some chocolate. Don't think I'll have any left over ;)
Another early morning as Ellie's admit appointment is 8:30 :zz:

I got weighed yesterday and I've lost the mystery weight I put on last week, but back to where I was. No 2lb off, no 4.5 stone award :sigh: Never mind. I'll be totally on plan this week until Friday evening and then I'll be good/sensible when I can. x
 
Forgot to say. A work friend got me thinking today. It's something I've thought of on and off for a while and noticed some of the symptoms. She thinks I may have Hypothyroidism! My main symptoms of this are very slow weightloss, even though I follow SW almost ALL the time (just over 4st in 3 years is very slow, right?), the depression and anxiety, extreme tiredness, and I think thinning :eek: hair is a symptom too.
The thing is, I will not have blood tests. If it came to it and I would need to have blood taken to diagnose something life threatening or (God forbid!) have a IV catheter fitted I think they would have to sedate/tranquilise/knock me the hell out. But I really do fit as a potential hypothyroider. Balls!! Might mention it to my Dr and see if he can do the clinical exams without the blood tests and see what he thinks. I do have a swelling on the left side of my neck, but I don't know what a human neck is supposed to feel like ;)

Gah!! And bah..... x
 
Dropped the hound off this morning :( Felt awful leaving her, but I'd have been terrible hanging around and interfering. I've been demanding enough ;)

I've been doing quite a bit of thyroid research and even did a tick list on a thyroid charity site. I had 24 symptoms and quite a few possible/not constant symptoms. Yay.... :argh: I'm going to have to speak to my Dr about alternative diagnosis to blood tests/medicine trial/sedating the crap out of me if I have to have it done.... It just feels like everything fits so well and could go a long way to explaining why I have so many health issues, why I'm constantly exhausted, and basically living a bit of a miserable life.

One of the sites I read (I think NHS) said a good indicator is that you have been following a diet such as SW or WW, or exercising a lot (which I went through a few phases of) and only very slowly losing weight and you're very quick to gain weight. Erm, yeah....

On a cheery note. I just ordered my holiday money :D The bloody exchange rates have gone down since last night :rolleyes:
 
Monday Food: On plan till Friday and saving syns. Lets DO THIS! :D

Breakfast: Activia, red grapes, blueberries, and sliced strawberries.

Lunch: Tin of veggie ravioli, wholemeal toast, cheese, salad, and dressing (HexA1 + HexB1 + 2.5)

Tea: Cheese & onion Smash, 2 Quorn Apple burgers, bbq beans, fried onions, gherkins, and cheese (half HexA2 + 2)

Snacks: 2 Weetabix, banana, maple syrup, and hazelnut milk (rest of HexA2 + HexB2 + 0.5)

Drinks: Coffee. Diet Coke. Squash.

Syns used: 5
Syns saved: 5
 
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Must have been hard droppong Ellie off, I'm sure she's in great hands though!

Oh dear about the self diagnosis :( you dont want a blood test- are you phobic of needles like me? I had to have one when I was hospitalised with a kidney infextion just over a year ago and I cried for avout half an hour at the idea of the needles :/ I had to have an IV too so it.had to stay in which freaked me out! I've had a wrist/needle phobia for a long time and it was seriously f*cked up as a kid, I used to have visions of my wrists getting slashed if they touched the paper I was writing with and such and would wear sweatbands to protect them- which all stemmed from the idea that inhections are done in the wrist when I was vrry small. Anyway, I made them do the tests in my FOOT- LOL. It was SO painful! After they told me that it id way more painful in the foot- great! But I could nevet.have it in my arm and it had to be in a whole night and day so I'm glad it wasnt :/ tried to pull an IV out after i had my tonsils removed when I came too, was that freaked out!)
Ahem, anyway, phobia story over :p though that's the short version lol!

I have heard of the thyroid condition before and it slowing down weight loss :( is there a way of treating it? Very strong of you to keep at this for so long and still be motivated! Size 12 is slim in my books so congrats :D

Oh, I'll look you up on facebook then :D def love to see more animal pics in the news feed ^^ just look out for a friend request from a Sophie :) x
 
Hey! I've added you to Facebook :)

My phobia is specifically blood vessels. I'm not scared of needles and have the contraceptive injection every 3 months anyway. I'm not blood phobic. It all revolves around going in to a vein/artery *shudders* When I first started working in veterinary (as a volunteer luckily) I spent a LOT of time conditioning myself to be able to cope with even holding an animal having this done. I spent a lot of time almost fainting (what an awful feeling that is!!) and having to run to the garden for fresh air. I'm much better now and don't often have an issue. Although every now and then I do feel the catheter slide under my thumb and I feel a bit *funny* Lol!
So I am much better and I even went with my friend who is terribly needle phobic (and a vet nurse ;)) when she had bloods done. But me? Just the thought of it now makes me feel very sick, panicky, my head feels heavy, etc... I have spoken to many people about this and apparently it's quite common in adults who had major surgery as a child. I had open heart surgery, which was obviously very major and would have involved many, many months/years of tests and stuff. Luckily, I don't remember it, but somewhere in my brain does. And it's just gotten to the point of "Enough is enough. I can't cope with that any more"
I last had a blood test done when I was 13. I had 4 people and my Mum hold me down. I panicked SO much that I set off the heart monitors enough for the crash team to come racing in. Not a pleasant experience that one! And since then I have refused every single blood test I've been asked to do. Including the newest one for Raynauds, to make sure it wasn't a rheumetalogical thing going on.
It's such a massive, massive issue for me and I've said for a long time that it would have to be life saving/life changing for me to go through with it. But this kinda could be, couldn't it? :( I'm going to have to speak to my Dr on Wed and see if there is anything we can do. Even if it does mean some sort of sedation or 'happy pills' to get me through. I dunno, but if there is a reason for ALL the rubbish health issues I have, and it can be controlled by simple medication??? Bugger.....

Phobia's are awful to live with because no one understands and just thinks you're being dramatic. The thing is, with a true phobia you KNOW you're being irrational, but you can't help it. Whereas I have no doubt that you do get the dramatic screamers and stuff who just want attention. If I could stop the way I feel, I would! And I know it's stupid. Argh! My Dr is really understanding and I have spoken to some nice people, but everyone needs to be understanding and sympathetic and you can't guarantee that! So many health professional people have the mentality of "Oh just shut up and get on with it will you" :mad:

Sorry, rant over. It's a horrible subject for me, as I'm sure it is for you.

My weight is ok, but it's very frustrating. I thought it was just me, but if this is stopping me from losing weight and making me gain very quickly then if it's controlled I'd probably be at target and be able to maintain much more easily. Can't believe this could have been stopping me all along!! 4st in over 3 years is a very slow loss, esp as I'm on plan roughly 90 percent of the year! Also explains how I can put on 1st in 2weeks if I'm not careful :rolleyes: I just worked out that my loss so far (61lbs) over 3 years is LESS than 2lb per month. Friggin' hell!

xx
 
Ellie's home now. Her op went well, the head vet ended up doing it, and she has no external stitches. Huzzah! We are sending the lump off for analysis and I think that usually takes just a few days. I'm not sure if I really want to know, but maybe it would be better to just know what we're dealing with. I hope it is non scary tissue!!
She's really disoriented, still. When I went to get her I walked her out of the kennel and she darted back in! She's been roaming the garden and in and out of the rooms the dogs are allowed in and she's crying a LOT. Ellie's a pretty quiet dog, so it's unusual to hear anything out of her. But the crying has been constant since she got home 3 hours ago :( I feel so bad for her!! It's just the after effects of the anaesthetic and she's had a decent dose of morphine.
She's such a hungry dog usually but it took her ages to eat her tea. Only did her 2 scrambled eggs and 3 hot dogs! She'd have inhaled that normally. Poor thing :(
 
Aw poor Ellie :( all confused from the drugs! I hope she isnt in pain and relaxes later today.

You had open heart surgery as a child? How comes? That is massive, I bet that has traumatised you in other ways too? The needle situation when I had my tonsils out traumatised me!
That sounds like an interesting phobia, different to mine yet similar also. You're so right about how people dont 'get' phobias, they think it is just fear or dislike but it is a massive psychological thing.
As a young teen I used to sleep with my wrists crossed over my chest (like a vampire lol) because when falling asleep I'd have visions of things spearing me in the wrist through the matress and I thought 'this way it will go through my heart first and kill me so I dont have to experience the wrist stabbing' - pretty extreme I think :S I fought myself to get over my wrist phobia one year and did. I no longer scream if someone grabs my wrist etc, it feels totally normal. The needle thing is another story though! I have avoided every needle/test since very young, meningitus jab etc, apart from when I was hospitalised. I felt so pathetic crying about it but it was so horrible!

I hope they give you happy pills or laughing gas or something :p I want some!hehe
 
God dude, that's awful! I mean I wont let someone touch the inside of my elbows, I almost hit my ex for that ;) And I thought I would really freak out having a wrist tattoo done, but I think coz it wasn't going 'in' I was fine. It's so odd isn't it and really, really horrible to have to deal with!! General needle phobia must be so awful because we generally have to be jabbed quite a lot for various things and I'm so grateful that my brain allows me to do that.
But man, your phobia is awful! It's ridiculous how extreme our brains take things isn't it? And it is awful that no one understands how it makes you feel and how you just can't control it :(

I've emailed an old internet friend of mine as she works in my area as a human and animal therapist. She's a qualified and registered clinical hypnotherapist! A work friend of mine's husband used to do this and he's given me some advice. It would take at least 3 sessions and the girl charges £50 per session. Could be a way to go? I could speak to my Dr, see if the tests are necessary, and then give myself a bit of time to get it sorted. I guess to cure me it might be worth spending around £200. But it is a lot of money :confused:
I really just don't know how to deal with this situation. I might get through one test, realise it doesn't kill you and is ok and be fine from then. But it's getting to that point of letting it happen, you know? Gah!!
 
Tuesday: It is Tuesday isn't it? I'm very 'fuzzy' today. I got my Lush stuff from my friend! She works for Lush and let me take full advantage of her 50 percent staff discount ;) Most of the stuff is for the holiday: Super moisturising skin and hair stuffs. But I did order a couple of treats! Just waiting for my Body shop order, batteries (for my head torch), and new bag to arrive. Got an email before to say my holiday money is available to pick up, 2 days early!

Food: Green Day + 10

Lunch: 2 Linda M Sausages, cheesy scrambled eggs, half tin of spaghetti, wholemeal toast, and tomato sauce (half HexA1 + HexB1 + 1)

Tea: Quorn bolognese from the freezer, big pile o' pasta, cheese, salad, beetroot, dressing & mayo (half HexA1 + 1)

Snack: 40g All Bran Choc Crunch with hazelnut milk (part HexA2 HexB2 + 2)
Shape (0.5)

Drinks: Coffee. Diet Coke. Squash. Options with hazelnut milk (rest of HexA2 + 2)

Syns used: 6.5
Syns left: 8.5
 
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What really sucks is how doctors just don't really seem to get it. I guess a LOT of people are scared of/hate needles, but to them when I say I have a phobia, they think I just dislike it like most people and I automatically feel reaaally pathetic.

As for hypnotherapy- might be worth a go. I think my dad had some once to stop him eating chocolate and it did work temporarily but I swear he still eats it these days :p he might have only had a session or two though and seen the effects and stopped (and thus it didn't have the full effect!)

Talk to your doctor about it first and maybe there are other ways they can find out or get clues- I know there is such a thing as a thyroid ultrasound, maybe that would give enough of an indication that there is a problem or not. For my polycystic ovaries they just did an ultrasound scan and asked if I wanted a blood test done for further confirmation, but I said no :p they didn't push for it.

I thought about the 'it doesn't kill you' reaction when I was at hosp for my kidneys, but am traumatised as ever from that needle experience :p I DID have an injection in my mouth at the dentist a few months ago though which was painful as hell but psychologically didn't upset me much- it's in the flesh that is scarier for me.
 
I've just written a list of the symptoms I have from the Thyroid UK site : bloody printer's out of ink! I hope there is a way round it, at least for now. But it seems like they like to monitor the hormone levels once you start treatment. Which makes sense, but couldn't they go from how I feel/physical changes? We shall see I guess.
My Dr must hate me. I don't go very often, but when I do I have a friggin' big list ;)

Oddly when I think about having blood taken from my neck, like we do with some animals, it doesn't freak me out at all. Not sure they do this with humans and it would leave a massive 'love bite' on my neck, which I'm not keen on ;)

Knowing something wont kill us, as I'm sure blood being taken and having injections generally doesn't, doesn't mean we can stop our flight or fight response. It's buried too deep and phobia's defy any sort of rational thinking anyway. I was more just thinking that if I could get through it in any way possible I would start to feel better about it. IF it was handled well and with care, which I can't guarantee :(

I've done pretty much all my packing :D And it comes in under the 23kg, almost 10kg under. That's enough weight left to smuggle back a husky puppy!!! :whistle: Go me!!! Outdoors/winter stuff is so blood bulky, but luckily not that heavy. I just have a few things I've washed that need to go in and I need to pick up a couple of little things tomorrow. Then I'm done! I'm treating myself to this as a little going away present (coz I haven't spent enough on my self!) http://www.johnlewis.com/anorak-kissing-rabbits-towels/p312834

Anyway, I'd better go to bed. Got a hell of a busy day tomorrow! Mum's first hospital appointment is just before 10, then we're running in to town for brunch and to get my last few holiday bits, then back to the hospital for her physio appointment, then to the pet shop, then to Asda to collect my holiday money, then my Dr's appointment, pick up my prescription from the chemist, and then if I'm not already asleep go see a film. That's a LOT of driving for me tomorrow tho. Not sure how well it will go lol. Could always do Asda on Thurs I suppose. xx
 
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Wow, lots to do today- good luck, hope you manage it all! Congrats on packing so lightly- NO idea how you managed that! That's amazing :D definitely deserve to steal a baby husky for that effort- hehe. You must be SO excited :D I'm going to miss your posts on here *sniff* but look forward to the huge write up of the trip! (there better be one!)

That kissing bunnies towel is very cute :D If you haven't found a way to print your list yet- try printing it in a different colour, changing the text to blue or something. In the past I've found that the black ink runs out first- used to print essays and stuff in blue, lol! My Dr's hate me too as I only show up when I need more inhalers and they're like "YOU NEED AN ASTHMA CHECK UP!!" yeah yeah, it's the same as it has been for the last 20 years- hold yer marbles :p

Maybe they could do blood tests from the neck? Think as long as they can see a vein- which is why they used my foot! Weird that you don't mind the thought of that, I'd be freaked having it happen so close to my face :| love bite like bruise will just make you look popular and sly about your endeavours ;) hahaha. I've always secretly loved love bites but my BF absolutely hates them so only gives me accidental ones on my ear lobe sometimes- lol?! Which just looks stoopid.

How is Ellie doing today?
x
 
I'm going to try and get through this post without crying. Although I've failed with every text and Twitter update.
It's not good news. My Dr's very concerned and I HAVE to have the blood test. And it covers a LOT of stuff and I know how much blood is needed for this stuff. When I got home I sobbed and sobbed till I'd pretty much run out of available liquid. I've cried so much I've burst the blood vessels around my eyes :cry:
My Dr's given me some diazapam to take. He started with saying I could take one, till he saw how worked up I was getting and said I could take 2. Then he went on to say "just dose yourself up" :eek: I have no idea how I'm going to do this. The thought of it makes me feel very sick and desolate and completely hopeless :(

Today has been so stressful and tiring. Mum's appointments were ok, but the surgeon didn't really explain anything to us. But she did have a good chat with the physio who re dressed her hand and made her a splint. She'd said to Mum to stop by after her post op app with the surgeon to see if they could fit her in, save waiting 4 hours! and they fit her in right away :) We still don't know exactly what was done tho :confused:
After we went in to town and thought it would be nice and relaxed, but between us we only had enough for 2 hours at the car park (why do some make you pre pay?!) so it was a race against time to fit in lunch and the shopping I needed. John Lewis didn't have the face towel I wanted :cry:We managed to get everything with literally a minute to spare!
We went to the pet shop for me to stock up on stuff for the fluffies and then to Asda to pick up fruit & veg for the bunnies and a few foody bits. Managed to get Mum a card, cuddly owl, and a dvd for Mothers Day.
Then I had my appointment at the Dr's. He gave me a repeat of the anti inflammatories I'd been trying and my Depo injection (sore bum cheek!!). And we had a good chat about the thyroid stuff. He said he doesn't like to say it's a condition before the results come back but he seemed concerned and said I really have to do it. I know I do, my life's miserable and if this is why then I need to do something about it. But, well, f*ck :(
After crying like a loon for a while and packing some stuff I took Mum to the pictures to see Cloud Atlas. It was a bit confusing, but I loved the concept and thought it was really clever and pretty epic :)
I'm so tired now!

Kinda been off plan too. Was doing ok and planned to count my lunch at the veggie place as all my Hex's plus a few syns. But then I took my gourmet popcorn (Joe and Seph's) I got as a gift from my friend to the pictures and I had some of Mum's Galaxy Bites. Tea would have been almost syn free, except I decided to have bread with it too. Bugger! Oh well, a v low syn day tomorrow I think and donate all my saved syns to today. Not the run up to my holiday I'd hoped :(

Kelly.x

Ps. Not really sure I want to go to a foreign country looking like I've been attacked by a vampire. So neck is out for blood tests!
 
Tetris, my case is full to the point I had to argue with the zip. But it's just coz the stuff is so bulky, it's not particularly heavy. I've added a few bits today, including a very bulky jumper, so will need to re check the weight before we go. I have a 10kg hand luggage allowance too tho, so shouldn't be an issue.x
 
Oh you poor bunny :( I'm sorry about your news of needing a blood test, you sound absolutely traumatised. I felt exactly that way at the hospital, totally hysterical. If they'd told me to come back for it another time- I probably wouldnt have! The stupid thing was that the tests they did just confirmed I had a kidney infection, which mum and I had known all along but the doctors couldnt work out :mad: wish I'd thought to ask for happy pills!

I hope you can keep it out of your mind during the trip :( or are you having it before to get it over with?
I'd take the vamp neck any day if I were you- it would be badass :D besides, scarf on in the acrtic! Lol

Chin up, trip of a lifetime so close now!
X
 
I might be going to have it done tomorrow. Mum picked up my happy pills today. There's a skin anaesthetic you can get, called Emla, that's supposed to be ok, but it takes about 45mins to work. I've not tried it.
I really don't think they do jugular with humans. I've never heard of it anyway. The thing is though, if I start this, it's never going to end. There's a lot of tests at the start if you go on to meds because they have to monitor the hormone levels. And then once it stabilises you need tests every 6 to 12 months :(
Maybe I just need to get passed the first one? Or if I do get passed the first one but still can't cope with it, I'd have time to sort out some hypnotherapy? Oh what a nightmare! I knew this would happen eventually, our medicine relies so much on blood tests that it was going to happen. But I almost think it's worse because I've brought this on myself. BUT I did this knowing the outcome. And I'm worried enough about how I'm feeling and how miserable I am that I think it will be worth it. I just have to get through it and learn to cope.
Right now I think I've cried enough and I have this almost resolve that I can get through it (with help) and it could make my life so much better! We'll see how long that lasts ;)
I kept jumping awake thinking it was Friday today :rolleyes:

Also got an email from the bloody car place offering to pick up my car NEXT Friday. I've lied and told them I'll be home next Saturday from my holiday. So, erm, no Friday isn't good unless they are leaving me a courtesy car. Idiots!!! x
 
Sucks that you'd need potentially so many :/ I always thought that one day when I have kids the pregnancy would kill me because of all the blood work and injections! I really want kids though so will have to put up with it.
I hope the happy pills are great and make it all fun and easy for you- and then maybe after that you'll realise you did it and it was OK! I think after my mouth injection and my hospital blood tests I'd feel less freaked out if I had to get an injection now (I'd probably still have it in my foot though ROFL)

But yes- imagine if you have this thyroid problem and this gets it under control, making you happier, healthier and make your weight loss journey easier! I'm sure whatever the situation that facing this will make you stronger, even if you are batshit hysterical about it on the day!
x
 
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