Cheekychinchilla's food and stuff

Is tomorrow your day with the lemurs?? :O hope you have a nice time at the zoo either way :)
Why so angry? :(

OMG :O Well done for doing bloods 'soberly'!! Amazing! How was it in comparison to previous times? What a massive phobia you have faced!! Congrats :)
Also for avoiding cake :D and NOTHING to nibble at the cinema?! You may be fed up but you have accomplished awesome things today and I am honestly in awe! No way could I sit through a film without food OR get bloodwork done soberly- big kudos to you!! :D x
X
 
Hey guys! I did meet the lemurs today and amazing it was! Will post some pics after this.

I had my "general medicine" appointment yesterday and saw the lady Dr I saw first time and a student. I also took my friend in with me because I keep forgetting stuff and I thought I might be a bit braver if she was there. Gave her permission to say stuff like she did with me too.
She's as shocked as me about yesterday. I feel like it was a complete waste of time and for the first time seeing these guys I felt like I'd been completely fobbed off. Before I go off on one I DO understand that general medicine have completely run out of ideas and this is why I'm being referred. I understand they have tested me a LOT (how could I forget?!) and that they do want me to see a specialist.
However.... She barely listened when I was telling her stuff. I told her about fainting now (I might have exaggerated this, but it needed doing!), about how painful the headaches are and where they effect me, how badly sensitive I am to lights and change in lighting, how crazy my appetite is, the upset stomachs, the super mental psychological stuff, and how very worried I am about my job and how important it is to me.
She went to speak to the consultant and came back with they want me to repeat my prolactin and thyroid bloods coz they hadn't been done since I started seeing them (fair enough but felt like this was kind of a token gesture!) and that she would try to get in touch with endocrine. Try?! Oh and they want to see me again in THREE months!
I started getting panicky and trying to fight my corner and I just felt like she shot me down. Basically saying they've done all they can and it's now endocrine's turn. Yeah, i get that, but it needs to be NOW!
I just don't understand how they're really not that worried when I really did tell them everything that's been happening and just how bad it is. Even Michelle, who can be a loud moose, didn't know what to say and came out really surprised.
i was so shocked and quite honestly outraged that we stormed to phlebotomy and I was being SO stubborn I said i had to have the tests done NOW so they would get the results really quickly and we had to hope that they came back absolutely insane! I've never wanted test results to come back badly, but I really hope these do so that they will bloody well do something about them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hope this is making sense....
Oh i didn't even get to asking if they could treat my symptoms because her view was that basically I just have to put up with everything until I see the specialist. Well don't make me wait so long! :mad:

And breathe...

I did make it to the zoo today and we had a really good time. I was so bloody ill tho! I had to make everyone go really, painfully slowly, and sit down a lot :eek:
We only got round the beginning bit of the zoo before i had to go to meet the keeper for my experience!
The lady was so lovely! She was around my age, loves her animals and has worked in loads of sections of the zoo, and she even volunteered for a year first. And, the best bit, it was just me!! there can be up to 4 people on the experience, but it was just me! Which meant I had 12 ring-tailed lemurs and 4 brown lemurs all to myself! We had LOADS of food and she really only fed ones that really pestered her.
We had to cross on to lemur island by a pontoon :D We got about 3 feet away and 3 lemurs jumped on and one jumped on to my shoulder - where it stayed for the whole time! It was really funny coz we got to the bit where they do the experience and I had the one on my shoulder, one pulling on my arm, and 2 with their heads in the food bucket! I was trying to feed them and the keeper said to try and sit down on the logs. It's hard enough to keep my balance as it is at the moment, never mind with a lemur on my shoulder and all the other ones lol. I didn't fall on my ar*e though I did keep the one on my shoulder :D
Their favourite is banana so that came first and I got absolutely covered in it! In my hair, on my face, all down the shoulders and pants of the overalls they'd given me lol. You can see in the pics how it got increasingly worse lol!
Then I got to feed them grapes and there was a particularly shy one that was sitting to my left and whenever it wanted something I felt a tiny tug on my jacket sleeve *melts* Other times I'd pick stuff out of the bucket and the one on my shoulder and the one on my knee would put their hands on mine and open my fingers to try and get it first! The one on my knee held my hand and fingers quite a lot. SO sweet!! They are really gentle though and would take things with their hands really quite politely. Even when they took it with their mouths they were very gentle.
I wasn't allowed to stroke or 'pet' them, but they were climbing all over me anyway and the one on my shoulder kept cuddling in to my face :D I did have to stop myself giving one a playful stroke or cuddle though. It's so difficult when you're used to handling animals!
The girl was really nice and we hit it off pretty nicely and talked a lot through the whole thing. She asked about my pets, my job, and I told her about Sweden and stuff. She really put me at ease and I didn't feel like I was the only one there - if that makes sense? She took some really good pictures too! I'll post some after this :)

John met us at the zoo and I feel a bit bad that I didn't spend much time with him. But I was so bloody ill, I mean really bad, and it was really hard to be excited about the animals, keep upright, keep walking, and talk to people. And because me and the 4 friends who came (fake brother & sister, who bought me the lemur experience, and Michelle) are all so comfortable together we just chat away and weave in and out and pair off and stuff. I tried to explain it to Michelle and say that I wasn't ignoring him, but the only people I could give attention to were the ones talking to me, because that's literally all I had spare. You know? And, tbh, he did try but he didn't say too much. I tried to make a conscious effort to walk by him and bring him in to conversations, but, yeah, it was hard enough keeping me going! He did stay with them the whole time I was with the lemurs - prob over an hour in all! And he hasn't complained or anything. And when we got in the car to go home Tim was like "I really like John" So that made me feel better. I know they'll have been really good with him anyway :)

Gawd, enough of my waffling!! I'll post the pics.

And well done for getting thru this ;) Oh and food was a bit up and down today coz I've felt so nauseous and had a really bad tummy :(
 
Just a few of my favourite ones because I don't think you wanna see 40-odd ;)
P1030050 (1024x768).jpg The first pic that was taken. I actually really love this one!!
P1030056 (1024x768).jpg So cheeky!
P1030060 (1024x768).jpg
P1030081 (1024x768).jpg He stayed there the whole time!
P1030086.jpg P1030087.jpg Took these two after I'd done the main feed and then I used the leftovers to fill the bamboo poles that were cleverly disguised feeders.
P1030098 (1024x768).jpg I'm pretty proud of this picture. He was standing just like that as I walked past and stayed still long enough for me to get a good few pics. He could hear the cubs "cheeping" in the next enclosure over. Very sweet!
P1030101 (1024x768).jpg I got these for doing the experience. She even had them hidden behind her back when she brought them out to me!! We'd joked earlier on about being bitten and stuff and I said was the certificate to say I'd survived and kept all my fingers? Lol.
 
Love the lemur pics!! Sooooo jealous :D the one cuddling your face OMG! You look so lovely too- that'll be ahard profile pic to beat, lemurs all over you and looking so happy!

Not sure what to say about Dr stuff, absolutely appauled that they arent pushing the next option for tests to happen sooner and ridiculous that they ordered those blood tests as if just to shut you up :S gah!

Lovely that your frien said he liked John, they must have had a good chat :) shame that you didnt have much energy for talking to him but understand why. Probably hard for him being such massively shy introvert among a group he isnt part of to try and butt in and talk to you, but I'm sure he understands by now that you have very low limitations with your illness.

Sounds like a very up and down couple of days. Bet you wanted to take a lemur home for some cuddles :D x
 
I've always wanted pet lemurs ;) If I win the lottery I'll get a house with a garden big enough to do a really cool enclosure!

They were lovely :D Had such a good time.

I had my work meeting today and it was ok. Not much more I could tell them other than what they knew. My boss was very quiet through it, which was odd. I've told them I'm trying really hard to get back to work and that I'm also trying to get the endocrine referral moved forward as much as possible! I know I'm not that far off it now, but even if they could make it next month?! I dunno.
We talked about what will happen when I'm ready to go back - can look at phased returns, reduced hours, some sort of lighter duties. It's hard with my job because it doesn't really have any light duties!
I couldn't ask about losing my job, I just couldn't face the answer. I couldn't ask how long they'd support me either. The head office lady did seem shocked enough about what I've been through and all the tests and stuff.
I would go back next week if I could :(

I am a bit upset though as apparently some people have been saying things about my Facebook posts and they're upsetting morale. I understand that I will have put extra stress and pressure on my work friends and that they're having to cover my weekends and bank holidays. But, as my Sister said, I'm sick, not dead! My boss has suggested, coz this happened to her when she was off sick last year, that I either block people or be very very careful about what I say online. Because it seems some people feel that I shouldn't be allowed to do stuff or leave the house. Feel like I can't trust anyone now!!
Have blocked the few work people I had on Twitter and made my account private. And from now on my Facebook will only have posts about me being sick. If that's what they want, that's what they'll get! I even said to my boss that I thought people would be sick of me posting negative things and that they'd be happy that my friends were helping me out and still getting me to do things. People can be so horrible!!! That's going to be a nice environment to go back to isn't it?! I have an idea of who some of the people could be, but I really feel like I can't trust anyone now :(
I really wanted to post some passive aggressive, sarcastic thing on FB but thought better of it. Will just be quiet on there and complain about being sick from now on :rolleyes:

No idea what to do about the medical stuff :( Was going to phone today and see if my results were back and see if the lady Dr had gotten in touch with endocrine. But last time I called was a Friday and I heard nothing back. So think it might be best to wait until Monday. Got an appointment with my GP next Friday too, for a new sick note. But can talk to him about wanting to go back to work, see if he can give me anything for my symptoms, or help me out in anyway. Not sure what he can do though because I am under the consultants now. Gah!! It's like an endless loop or tests and no answers!!

I'm glad you like my pictures Tetris! I actually like quite a few of them myself. The one's taken above my head really show how much hair I've lost tho - it's awful!! I know some of it will be because my hair was up and stuff, but it does look really bad. Will just have to pretend I haven't seen them and try not to look myself :eek:

I had a pack of Nature Valley bars this morning. I needed something really quick so I could drive to work. And, to be honest, I wanted to get rid of them so they wouldn't tempt me. Only bought 2 single packs to take to the zoo and I had one yday.
Had the leftovers of the stuff I bought for my picnic yesterday for lunch. So fake ham, light cheese slices, and coleslaw - one bun and one regular size piece of wholemeal bread. With some salad and a packet of these super low calorie crisps I found. Think they're 67kcals a pack :eek: And they're really nice! They're like thin versions of onion rings :)

Dunno what'll be for tea, but something very low syn and easy to do :) Got quite a bit of Quorn and some Pasta N Sauce if I cba.
Really trying to be as good as I can when I can. Really need to limit the damage my stupid appetite is doing! Since I got weighed on Wednesday I must have pooped about 50 times! Lol.xx
 
Why not make yourself another facebook profile with a new email address that you can use for family and people that you can trust and then you can say what you like and just keep the original one for the misery @rses benefit? I have two fb accounts, one I use for general stuff and another that I use for my diet like stuff and work mates and only post stuff that doesnt matter if it is common knowledge round the office
 
Because Gossamersquare , I'm very lazy :p Lol! It is a good idea tho :)
I've got Twitter all safe now. Everyone I don't want has been blocked and my account is set to private. Facebook people will just have to put up with moaning and illness updates, well that's what they seem to want!
Can't believe some people. I mean, do they honestly believe I should be housebound and not see or speak to anyone?! :rolleyes: :mad:

My Sister got me a free copy of the new SW mag from her work! There was a Slimming World rep there trying to get customers to sign up to SW and they had magazines left over at the end. Score :D
 
I'm really glad you enjoyed your visit to the zoo and the lemurs :) The pictures are brilliant, the one on your shoulder must have known you needed extra love, they animals can sense a lot about people. I'm sure John understands how hard it's for you to carry on with everyday stuff let alone walking around a zoo for hours and keeping up with your friends.
As for the doctors, I would seriously be thinking of putting in a complaint soon, they've left you months now with no medication of any description. I know they have given you a diagnosis but they could at least give you something to make you life bearable. And doctors like the one the other day shouldn't be practising medicine if they can't even listen to the patient. I know you wouldn't want the extra stress but I would write a letter to PAL, it might give them the kick up the a@se they need.
It must have been hard going through the interview at work but at least they're talking about helping you ease back into work and I don't think they would be saying that if they were thinking of getting shut. As for the people on facebook, that's terrible. It never ceases to amaze me how horrible people really are behind your back, I quite often get upset by people who I thought I could trust, but it's a part of life I'm afraid :( I never mention work on facebook and very rarely mention private stuff, just post silly stuff that amuses me or stuff I feel strongly about, animals etc. I do most of my b@tching on here where people from my real life don't poke their noses in. I agree with get rid of the people who are being malicious you don't need those kind of people in your life. You can't lock yourself away in your bedroom just because you're ill and they shouldn't expect it.
The SW mag is good this month, I've bloody lost mine going to buy it again.
Hope your day gets better x x x
 
I'm glad you like the pictures too Tace :) The lemurs were so lovely and cheeky. It was so hard not to cuddle them!

I think John does understand. But I can't help but worry lol. I think I'm a natural born worrier!

Yeah a few people have told me to contact PALS recently. Well, since I did a big rant on FB on Wednesday ;) I'm just so annoyed and frustrated at the moment. I almost walked the dogs today, for the first time in months, but by the time I'd been to work, I nipped to Sainsbury's, and after lunch I sorted the bunnies and de-poo'd the garden I was absolutely knackered. Then Mum called to see if I could pick her up from the bus stop coz she couldn't carry her bags. Just don't think I have the energy now. Was only going to be like 10mins each.
I have my stubborn head on and I'm trying to work out if I could some way re-build my stamina and try to control how I cope with the symptoms when they're bad or change. Having a think.... I can be a super stubborn moose tho! As Wednesday proved with the blood tests!

You know I've had issues with not feeling like me at the moment. Well now this has happened with work people I feel like I have to hide myself even more now! i really don't understand how some people think :sigh: If you look at my Facebook posts tho. Any good thing I've posted about has also had some sort of comment about being ill. Like the gig I went to last week I said I had to lean and couldn't dance. I thanked my friends for being patient and looking after me yesterday. Apparently it looks like I'm being too light hearted in my moaning! No mention of the all out rant I had on Wednesday tho!
So yeah, think I'll be quiet on FB and only post stuff about being sick. So I do apologise in advance to all the nice, non-mean people who are friends with me on there!
xx
 
It wouldn't do any harm to write a letter to PAL, the service you've received isn't exactly brilliant, plus if they investigate your case it will help improve the service for someone else. I have to say since we've done that with Ian the district nurses have been spot on and they're actually look at all of Ian's illnesses instead of just his foot so he's getting a more rounded treatment.
I know you want to get better and do more but you can only do what your body allows you to do. It must be really frustrating but if you try to do too much you'll make yourself ill :(
x x x
 
I really am considering PALS. Also remembered something that came up in the meeting. The lady from head office said they may want to contact the Dr's I've been seeing some time soon. She said it wasn't that they doubted me, but it sometimes helps to get a full report and an idea of any progress. I said it was fine anyway, it's not like I've got anything to hide! But talking to Mum before and thinking about it a bit more, if work start contacting them too and they can see that I'm not just making it up about the meeting with work, it might get them in gear a bit. Even if it just makes them think and take me a bit more seriously. Might be worth contacting the head office woman to ask her to go ahead with contacting them?

I gave Mum another lift to a bus stop so she could get a bus straight to her Mum's and not have to change. I was feeling really tired by then and I really didn't want to drive all the way there and back. Felt a bit guilty, but she at least had an all day bus ticket already.
I made a big, free curry for tea (might have ruined it with a bit of snacking this evening :eek:) and then I decided to take the dogs out. I feel so bad that they haven't been walked in months. I've played fetch and stuff with Dave, Ellie's not interested any more, but it's not the same. I took Ellie first and we just went around the block - probably took us about 8mins. There was no one around so I let her flexi out and she just ran up and down beside me lol. She's 11 and has arthritis as well as her Cushing's! You wouldn't think it sometimes ;) Came back and got Dave and we did take a bit of a detour. I added half a road on and then going round the block we had to double back on ourselves because someone had a dog off-lead in the road and I couldn't be bothered dealing with trying to get past them. We were probably out between 10-15mins.
On the way back I got sort of stuck behind this woman and an ambulance (it had passed me a few mins ago) pulled up to ask for directions. That's reassuring isn't it?!! :confused:

Anyway, I felt really tired and my headache got worse. But I felt really pleased that I'd gotten them out, even just for a few minutes each. Anything is better than the nothing they've had recently I suppose. Will try and do that over the next week and see if I can build on it, just a few minutes at a time. Was really nice being out with them :) I've missed walking them so much! Even if Ellie is a bit mental and Dave can be a pain in the a*se :p

Have watched 3 eps of the original The Killing series and my eyes and head are knackered from the subtitles. It's driving me nuts that this stupid illness is affecting all the things I love doing. Even reading bloody subtitles! Grrr....

Anyway, I'm off to bed. Hope everyone's ok and has nice weekend plans.
Lotsa love everyone and thank you so much for sticking with me and carrying on posting and stuff. Really does mean a lot.xx
 
Put the a*sholes from work on limited profile on facebook! Then they are still friends.with you but cant see what you post or what others post you, they can basically contact you and see your profole pic and that's it. I do to work friends too, as I make white lies about not being able to treck a 2hr round trip to the office to drop footage off (aint no-one got time for dat!) and then don't want them to see my facebool activity :p
You can also add people to customisable list such as 'work' or I have one called 'family' to block them from naughty posts or 'okc' for people I have off the dating site who I dont want to know my whereabouts as I havent met them, that way as you post something you change the permission so that certain groups cant see an update, or allow everyone. I think you just go to the 'friend' in question's page, click wher it says hat you are friends and add them to a list. When younpost something click the cog and customise the settings so that a certain group cant view, it always keeps the previous settings so you can either erase it next time if you want those people to see it or leave them unable to view the new post too... It is SO HANDY! Really great as I don't want G's family seeing me share thigs with swear words or whatever as they are very proper :p and I have one or two internet friends that would love to know what my evening plans are so they could spontaneously show up and force me to meet them IRL lol. Just be careful to check the settings as you post in case you unchecked the blocked option the previous time for a generic post and accidentally post "I HATE MY WORK FRIENDS!!" to the work friends too LOL x
 
* where I said click the 'cog' - I think it is actually a globe to start with when posts are availible to public, or a pic of two people (the friends icon) if availible to all friends. It is an icon at the top or bottom right corner of your update as you post anyway.
 
Thanks Tetris :) I might look in to that. For now I've asked my friends not to tag me in stuff and I'm just going to post miserable things. Hopefully it wont be for too much longer anyway.
Just can't believe people don't want to see me being happy or doing fun stuff. I went back over my FB posts last night and in the last month I posted 4 cheery/fun things. FOUR in a month! I never thought me getting out of the house and having fun once a week would cause so much distress and upset. Some people need to get out more than I do :p

Got one of my friends to post on my zoo post about how ill I was on the day. And I posted a pretty emo set of lyrics last night to show how i was feeling. i've been so tempted to post something really sarcastic, but I know it's not worth it. No point making people angry and stuff if I have to go back to working with them sometime in, hopefully, the near future.
I'm still really annoyed about it too! If you look at my FB posts apart from those 4 things (the zoo, Jimmy gig, Cabaret, and a pic of me with a Dalek) the rest is whinging about my illness, ranting about the NHS, or random crap about the dogs. I even said to my boss that I thought people would be fed up of me posting about being sick and I thought I'd try and be cheery. Not what the people want apparently :sigh:

Anyway, enough of that. I'm going to get a shower in a min. Going over to Tim and Caz's with Michelle to have 'fakeaway' -shop bought pizza's and Tim can make KFC style coating, so I'm taking Quorn fillets LOL. And I think we're going play a board game or Cards Against Humanity :) I really want to drink some wine today, but I feel particularly wobbly and dizzy today. Hoping now I've eaten I'll feel a bit better and the shower might help. Will at least help me not feel manky :p

Hope y'all have nice weekends. Will do the last of my catching up on people's diaries soon :) xx
 
I bet the dogs love their walks :) just hope you didn't push yourself too much x
Sorry I had to laugh when you said you'd posted emo lyrics :8855:nothing says p@ssed off and sad like emo.

I hope you've had a good night and your fakeaway was nice x x x
 
Nothing gets emotion across like a bit of emo ;) Hope it made some people at least think anyway. I'm still annoyed :p Now I keep thinking "What about MY morale?!" ;)

Had such good night tonight. Can't remember the last time I laughed that much! Cards Against Humanity is absolutely brilliant - if you have a dark sense of humour and don't mind things being a bit un-PC ;) I got AIDS in my first hand, so that says a lot!
Then we played Cheat, which was rubbish. Then Chase the Ace, which was also rubbish :p And then quite an epic game of Snap. Surprised me didn't all end up in A&E with mangled fingers :p
I'm not a fan of Charades, unless I'm drunk, but me and the dog watched the 3 of them (who had been drinking!) prance around like loons. The thing is with Tim and Caz's house is that it's an upside down "town house" with a LOT of windows. And we were in the living floor, upstairs.... Good job there aren't more people living on that estate yet. Tim was being a "kinky Cheetah" at one point.

Can't remember how many times I cried laughing and couldn't breathe. I would seriously recommend you downloading Cards Against Humanity - but it does involve printing out a LOT of stuff and having to cut out tiny cards. Seems totally worth it tho!
Next time I don't want to drive so I can maybe have some wine while playing ;) I wont tho. TWICE! So I'm clearly the most morally compromised out of my group of friends. Only because my Sister wasn't there though :sign0151:

I'm gonna have a hot chocolate and watch something on Netflix. Really want to watch more of The Killing, but my eyes are really tired. Might settle for Doctor Who so I don't have to read subtitles. Will see in a min.
Night all.xx
 
Sunday Food: Attempting to be good ;)

Lunch: Bit of a picnic.
Got Quorn ham and egg mayo (used extra light mayo) and cheese butties (half HexA1, HexB1, + 0.5)
Salad and dressing (0.5)
Packet of Golden Wonder Ringo's (only 68kcal! 3.5)

Tea: Quorn steak topped with red jalapenos
Pasta N Sauce mac & cheese (rest of HexA1 for milk + 2)
Cheese (HexA2)
Broccoli, carrots, sweetcorn, peas, and dressing (0.5)

Snack: Chewy Delight (HexB2)
Caramel Freddo (5)
Dark chocolate Kit Kat (5.5)
Small bowl of blackberries with a bit of Golden syrup (0.5) and a crumble flavoured Shape (0.5?)

Drinks: Coffee. Coke Zero. Squash.

Syns used: 19. Ooops! But better than recent days....
 
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It sounds like an amazing night, probably the kind of medicine you needed :D That cards against humanity sounds right up my street will have a look online for it. I do like a good game of cards however and chase the Ace is one of my favourites but I know 2 versions, one better than the other.
Hope you have a good picnic, the food sounds great :) x x
 
Cards Against Humanity is really good....if you have an evil sense of humour! I keep giggling about my answer to one of the questions my friend Michelle had, which was "What are my parents hiding from me?" I answered "Erectile Dysfunction" We couldn't breathe for ages :8855:
I felt tired last night, but so happy and like a nice tired rather than an "I feel crap" tired. I even got my glasses out so I could watch an ep of The Killing lol.

I barely know any card games. I've never been taught any! My Dad taught me Blackjack/Pontoon and that was it! I can't even play Poker :rolleyes: I think coz I don't know any I can't be bothered with them. Maybe I should make an effort to learn more.
I would have had a go at Charades if I hadn't of been the only sober person!

I really did enjoy my lunch! And those crisps are really nice. They were on offer for 2 for £2 and I thought, nah I don't need to packs. I have one bag left!

Can't decide what to do for my tea. I've got the stuff to make a big chilli, but don't know if I'm in the mood. Might have something a bit more conveniencey and then make a proper effort from tomorrow :)

xx
 
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