Cheekychinchilla's food and stuff

[cheekychinchilla]

In case anyone's wondering. I've been in touch with Oddsock (Sarah) and she has arrived safely in NZ and has already been to a wildlife preserve and hiked round an active volcano. You know, the usual, boring holiday stuff
If I don't hear from her again I'm just going to assume that she's bought a Hobbit house and has married a Rohan Rider....x

 

[Tetris]

Fassbender *swoons*!!

Did you watxh HEx? Sexy supernatural series that was out in lile '02 or something... He was Azuzeal, a seductive devil-like man... Sooo sexy. It got cancelled after series one though!

 

[cheekychinchilla]

I remember Hex but I don't think I saw it. *goes to look at netflix* Two seasons are on Netlifx Ta mate

Still going to my friends for tea so far lol. Have been asked to pick up some veggie sausages for tea - so at least I know that bit will be low syn Don't know what we're having though. And I desperately wanted a veggie breakfast for lunch coz I haven't had one for aaaaages! So lots of sausages lol. Free sausages for lunch tho

Feeling rather urgh and snotty. But not like a proper cold. I feel like I'm on the edge of getting sick, but not quite getting it. Hopefully it'll bugger off.

Won't have time to do any proper coursework today, but will try and read a lecture later tonight. But I have no plans for tomorrow and my Mum's going out straight from work and my sister's away. So planning on spreading work out through the day. Found another assignment in section 2 that I could do most of at home, so will get that out of the way. It's to do with working out dosages of medication, what info to put on the labels, administering info, etc... Some legal crap, but the basics of it is working out what to give the animal from it's weight and species Bloody maths!!! I want science, not maths

Food to follow...

 

[cheekychinchilla]

Thursday food:

Lunch: 2 free Linda M sausages
Spaghetti hoops
Cheesy scrambled eggs (half HexA1) with mushrooms and yellow peppers
Herby potatoes
Wholemeal bread (HexB1)
BBQ sauce (1)

Tea at friends: Sausage casserole with veg in and roast potatoes. 2 syns for the Quorn sausages and I'm going to say 4 for any oil & stuff. Didn't see what she made it with, but that'll do! (6)

Snack: 2 Alpen Light's (HexB2)
Handful of raspberries
Activia
1tsp of maple syrup (0.5)

Drinks: Coffee. Squash. Diet Coke. Cloudy Lemonade.

Syns used: 7.5
Syns saved: 18.5

 

[Barbette]

That's how Ian gets paid, he's still legally employed but he gets ESA because they stopped paying him and he can't work. I know it's not nice but at least you'll still have money coming in.
So glad you got an invite out to tea, hopefully you're feeling better now about the situation and can stop stressing
Poor you, hate having colds Hope you're drinking plenty of hot drinks and are wrapped up.
You sound as though you've got a good day's worth studying tomorrow, very organised. Your head definitely back on it.
S glad Oddsocks have got there safe and is getting up to some awesome stuff x x

 

[cheekychinchilla]

Where did Ian work? If you don't mind me asking? I'm just worried that they wont keep this going for much longer. No matter what anyone says my mind is never at ease Just worry about stuff! I just hope things will move much quicker when I see endocrine - it has to, surely?! Don't they want to solve the puzzle of me?!!

I feel a bit better after seeing my friends yday and today. I think I'll just have to let it go and put it down to bad timing, miscommunication, and them just being a bit rubbish with this kind of thing. They're away from Saturday but we've said we all want to see Gravity on IMAX, so will plan that for when they're back. Have already decided we're having Ben & Jerry's with the film and mulled wine somewhere else. So will save some syns

I was well behaved with food!! I almost bought us all cakes for dessert - walked past a bakery twice and they had cute snowmen cakes! And walked round Sainsbury's, but decided against it. And Caz offered me mini muffins and Winter Swirl things a few times and I didn't have one
We had Quorn sausage casserole for tea with veggies in and some roast potatoes. Their portions are WAY smaller than mine We had 2 sausages each, so I know they're 2 syns. The roasties were done in oil and I don't know if a casserole mix was used. But it was between 4 of us so couldn't be that bad. Going to say 6 syns for sausages & any oil or anything used. That sounds fair right?

Going to make a desserty thing, coz I was so good And watch the last ep of season 2 of The Killing

Hopefully my study day will go to plan tomorrow.
Night all.xx

 

[Barbette]

Ian worked for OCS security and a area supervisor, he's been off work for nearly 5 years now.
I would say 6 syns would more than cover for your sausages and oil And well done on resisting naughty temptations and staying on track
I'm glad the friend situation has sorted itself out and you're feeling better about it, one less stress for you. x x

 

[cheekychinchilla]

Oh God! As if I'm not stressed enough!!!
I was talking to a friend the other day about tax credits and she said she'd speak to her friend for me, who knew more (they work for DWP). She text me a link today and basically disability tax credits (I assume regular ones too) will only be paid for 28 weeks of sickness like SSP. So, Not only would I not be getting sick pay and have to claim for ESA, I will lose my tax credits (understandable seen as I'm not technically working).
I can't let this happen! I just can't. My tax credits are kinda what I live on and they also pay for my car repayments and part of my horrific insurance.
This has got to stop and I HAVE to go back to work. I just have to!

I thought if I write out a list of things that are within my job role that I know I will be comfortable and safe to do, insist on a phased return, ask to use holidays to 'pad out' the phased return and bump my hours up to my basic hours (19hrs per week), offer to do the early or late shifts to help out and 'ease' me in as they can be a little less hectic - and also help out for all the extra hours and stupid shifts people will have done for me.
I know I'm not 100% but even seeing the Endo consultant in 2 weeks I'm not going to be instantly fixed. BUT I'm not a complete invalid or a vegetable and surely it would be better for me to go back and be doing 'something' and building it up slowly to my regular job is better than me not being there at all?!
I would have to ask maybe for some extra 5 or 10min breaks or have the option of being able to sit down while I do parts of my job. There are a few things I could do sitting down. And yeah, I'm going to be slower and I'm still rather 'fuzzy', but I'm not useless!
And, tbf, these considerations I am asking for (hopefully short term) are the sort of things that get granted to pregnant women! I'm not asking for super special treatment, just to maybe sit down when I need to and probably avoid heavy lifting or something physically straining. I can still do stuff! Just not to the level I used to. But it wont be forever.
Tace, seen as you're awesome and know about all this stuff is this unreasonable? I know it's a different type of work, but yours is quite physical and stressful too. Is it too much to ask in the short term?!

My phased return would be 6 weeks anyway, and who knows how far along I could be with the specialist by then. Alright, that might be a touch optimistic. But we don't know!

Is Ian's job still open by the way?

My Sister's offered to help out and pay my car bills if it comes to it. Which was totally unexpected and incredibly sweet! I hope it won't come to that.
I wonder whether if I had to claim ESA, even just for a month or two, would my tax credits kick in again when I went back to work. The rules are a bit all over the place for disability credits. But surely being off sick and still having the original disability would mean I would qualify?!

Good Lord, why is life so f*cking difficult?!

I got the text and link this morning and stupidly read it. So spent a few hours in bed between crying a bit and snoozing and panicking. Managed to fall asleep at some point and woke up super panicked at 1pm Just catching up on the Wright Stuff and then going to attempt some work.
I feel shocking though. Still think I'm on the verge of getting sick and just feel so mentally fuddled and exhausted. Meh....

But, aye, I'm well impressed with how I avoided the cakes yesterday!! I almost bought the Frosty Fancies in Sainsbury's, coz I know they're 5 syns each, but they weren't in a decent offer LOL!
But yeah, considering recent stuff, I did well with the food yesterday
Today will be good too. Forced myself to eat some Weetabix for dinner and I've defrosted some beany casserole to have with burgers, Smash, and broccoli for my tea. Om nom!!! xx

 

[cheekychinchilla]

Friday Food:

Lunch: 2 Weetabix (HexB1)
Banana
2tsp maple Syrup (1)
150ml Kara milk (part HexA1)

Tea: Beany casserole with extra red onion and mushrooms
2 veggie burgers (2)
A few Frylight roasties
Cheesy Smash
Cheese (HexA2)
A lot of steamed broccoli

Snacks: Graze Super carrot cake (88kcal/4.5syns)
Handful of raspberries and an Activia.


Drinks: Coffee. Lemonade. Squash. Assam & Kenyan tea.

Syns used: 7.5
Syns saved: 26

 

[Barbette]

I think what you need to do is honestly ask yourself first are you well enough to go back? I know it's really worrying the money thing, I understand this more than most as Ian wants to go back for the same reason as we're struggling but at the end of the dya your health is more important. Like I said to Ian, if you go back too soon you'll make yourself worse and end up going back sick and being off longer.
If the honest answer without money influcencing your answer is yes I'd go to work and see them about easing your way back in. I'm sure they would be more than happy to help to work back into it in stages, in fact I think if they say no you could claim they were not supporting you trying to get back to work and to doing your job fully. I would ask them to draw a plan up with you and have it in writing or on record so it is very clear what is expected of you and it can't be changed or used against you. They have supported you so far so I can't see them not doing so now. They have to do a H&S risk assessment for you to make sure it's safe for you to do all the jobs you do.
This country is not very supportive of genuinely ill people who can't work temporarily, we get no support at all because I work full time but if I don't I can't afford to live It causes a massive amount of destress and depression for people in your situation. It also annoys me how people with no genuine needs can play the system and are better off than me and I have always worked.
Keep your chin up, you sound as though you have good friends and family who will help you through this and it won't last for ever x x x x x

 

[cheekychinchilla]

Honestly I think I could be doing something. I've driven around the country, visited loads of places, been doing housework and looking after my own animals, etc... I just feel like even if I'm not at 100% I could be there doing something and trying to get myself up to speed. I wont make any decisions or anything until I've seen the Endocrine Dr as I really have no idea what to expect. I might go in and they'll look at my notes and stuff and go "I know what's wrong with you!" but I think it's more likely they'll go "We need to do a sh*t load more tests" I guess part of going back to work would be whether they would support my appointments and tests, if I would be allowed the time off whether unpaid or holiday, or whether they will make it difficult.
I've got an appointment with my GP next week too. So will tell him about the migraine meds making me ill and this new situation.
Maybe I would only need a couple of months on benefits and struggling before things start getting better. But I don't know. It's so uncertain!
And I know my health is important, but this has been going on so long now and I'm risking putting myself in serious financial difficulty. Yeah my Sister has offered to help, but I don't like the idea, and I'd still have to pay her back - which would be really difficult, esp with the car insurance coz that's never ending, whereas the car re-payments are. And if I were to lose my job through ill health I don't know how I would cope with Ellie's illnesses and medication, because it's really expensive.
Basically someone needs to do something soon! And if the Dr's keep dragging their feet then I'm going to have to do something. Even if it means I am ill and not coping very well, I've got to do something. You know?

Anyway, have done what I can of this drug dosing/dispensing assignment. So that's another thing done. Took me ages coz I was checking and re-checking the calculations because it seemed too easy and couldn't possibly be right. Got Michelle to check it, seen as she's a vet nurse, and it WAS right! Bloody half an hour wasted trying to work out where I'd gone wrong lol!

 

[Barbette]

I'd wait and see what your appointment brings, like you said they may want more tests and appointments which would interfere with work. Maybe ask them what they think, they may say you're ok to go back as long as you start slowly and work you way back up to speed. Maybe try at home one day moving around and doing things, the equivalent of what you'd be doing at work and see how you get on. You could treat it as a trial to test your stamina and get a better idea of what you're capable of x x x

 

[cheekychinchilla]

All the Dr's I've spoken to at the hospital don't seem to give a crap that I've been off work for so long. They just keep saying "These things take time" I'm sick of it! Being sick to just "get on with it" but without being able to get on with it because I can't!
I am still doing things at home. I'm still doing the majority of the house work because no one else bloody does it. Still looking after my animals. And getting out with my friends. Trying to find a balance in doing stuff has been hard and I haven't had the dogs out for a little bit again - more coz of the horrible weather tho!
I am trying to do things and if I did go back to work I'd be starting on a few hours and building up anyway. It's just what happens when I'm nearly or bck up to my full hours. But, even so, I have been told I could spread my hours out over 5 days rather than 2 & a half days. So there's always that too - although I would hate to get up 5 days in a row But wouldn't be forever and the shifts are so varied I'd probably end up doing afternoons/evenings as well as mornings. Spreading 19hrs out over 5 days wouldn't be so bad.
But yeah, it's knowing what I can do. Today I did put two loads of washing away, hoovered downstairs, and did the dishes and cooked. I know that's not a lot tho really.
It's just really tough and I don't want to put myself or my family under any more financial pressure. I've not even given my Mum any money for about 3 months and she was kinda relying on some of that for visiting her Sister. I feel so guilty! Obv she's not making me feel guilty, but I am.
Just like I feel guilty that I've not bought my Mum or Rachelle a single Christmas present yet. I can't keep doing this! The stress of no money and not working is making me so bloody ill :cry:

 

[cheekychinchilla]

I made a Smash pancake! I wanted two small ones but it spread out over the pan, so one big one it was. I've never mind any kind of pancake, so not bad for a first try. And great if you don't want to use a HexB on bread! I would miss scrambled egg though if I had these a lot

Off out to town with Mum in a bit and Rachelle and John will be getting back from Edinburgh later so we're going to the veggie place for tea. Which is why I've gone low syn and no Hex's for lunch. Go me Me and Mum will be stopping at Starbucks to take advantage of their buy one get one free Xmas drinks offer. But I has lotsa syns saved and most of todays.

Saturday food.

Lunch: 2 free Quorn sausages
Spaghetti hoops
Smash pancake (2 eggs & 2tbsp Smash)
Half tbsp BBQ sauce (0.5)

Tea: Garlic'y cheese on toast with mixed salads at The Egg - all Hex's + 4 syns for light salad cream.
Vegan Chocolate crunch (chocolate & biscuit) - no idea on syns but will donate 15 to it

Drinks: Coffee. Diet Coke. Gingerbread soy latte at Starbucks - 9 syns sort of working it out from their nutritional info

Syns used: 28.5
Syns saved: 12.5

 

[Barbette]

You've given in to the pancakes lol. Ian is addicted, I think I like them best with fruit and yogurt
Hope you have a nice meal for tea Which coffe did you go for? I may have to sample a few of them lol x x x

 

[cheekychinchilla]

Don't you find the pancakes too eggy to have with fruit??

I went for the Gingerbread latte with soy milk and extra shot of coffee lol. Triple shot Was ok, but I should have got a small one! Not sure I'd get it again, but it was nice enough.
I had the garlic'y cheese on toast with the mixed salad and salad cream. And chocolate crunch for dessert. Chocolate crunch is basically biscuit and vegan chocolate, but it's sooooooo nice!!

We're all idiots and not one of us was keeping track on the time! Was 8:15 when my Sister asked "What time does the car park shut?" To which I replied "Sh*t!" and we threw our coats on and ran to the car park. All locked up! A guy walked past and said we'd literally just missed the guy locking up :cry: So worried about it being safe - although it is pretty secure! And also very worried about a fine. Rachelle and John's luggage is in there from their trip, including John's very expensive custom built laptop. Oh God!!
Only info I can find online is a customer review from 2011 saying they got fined £7 for leaving the car overnight - why would you even complain about that?!
Can't find anything specific on the Liverpool council site, even though it's a council run car park. Looks like if I did get a fine it would be a lower level one and it'd be £50, but reduced to £25 if I paid it within 14 days.
Just can't believe we all did that! Can't blame anyone but myself considering it's my bloody car!

Ran for the first time in 8months and nearly f*cking died! Then had a mixture of a small anxiety attack mixed with asthma kicking off. No inhlaer with me!! We had to get a taxi back to John's house, then Rachelle brought us home.
Trying not to panic and Rachelle's going to come and get me in the morning and get there before it opens so we can get in as soon as it does. Fingers crossed for a £7 fine!!!
Just and :cry:

 

[cheekychinchilla]

Having a quick look round at car insurance and my cheapest quote is with Quote Me Happy. Anyone with them? I'm currently with Aviva, who apparently run Quote Me Happy - but it's an online only company. I haven't had my renewal quote from Aviva yet, but it doesn't finish till Dec 28th. Hoping to get a decent drop! Paid over £1,400 this year Robbing b*stards, honestly!!
Anyone recommend an insurer to try and get a quote with?
Thanks guys

Off to bed and to try and sleep through this horrific stress headache. And I've really brought on my asthma and wheezing like Darth Vader! Have found some in-date steroid inhalers, but only have not-very-full blue inhaler on the go. My last one!! Something to speak to the Dr about on Tues!
Night all.xx

 

[Tetris]

Fingers crossed for the car not having a fine! What a nussance! And panic attack/asthma sounds so scary you poor thing!!

I agree with Tace re: going back to work, you really have to see how you feel and listen to your body as it could be horrific for you if it gets too much.
"these things take time" - what a bloody joke! It's not like they've been having you in and out of there constantly, waiting months under that excuse is just silly!!
Really sucks that you are scared about the tax credit and Ellie's meds... I am having to tighten up on my spending at the mo and I think eating out has to be reduced first, unless G is buyig which is fairly often as our deal is that he pays for food and I pay for utilities (which come to about 350 a month!!!)
But yeah, I know it is difficult when you have so little else to enjoy in life when ill but starbucks etc is SO expensive those £3.50 drinks and treats like pick n mix really add up. I've pretty much banned myself from buying treats/snacks outside of supermarkets now and bring squash bottles of dilute with me everywhere to avoid wasting money on drinks and bottles of diet cokes (which I dont even like!)
I am also banning myself from buying clothes until I drop another size now LOL unless I really need something warm... It doesnt sound like you ever treat yourself to clothes- it has really become my vice! Ever since my "no new clothes until the old ones dont fit" thing went out the window in June lol though I did manage 6 months without buying! Coats stay on in winter so maybe it'll be easier

 

[cheekychinchilla]

The car's ok. Barely slept at all last night even with diazepam as well as my normal meds. So exhausted! We got there well before the car park opened and then it opened about 30mins early anyway. There were LOADS of cars in there Not one had a ticket or fine on the windscreen or anything. So I just got in and drove it away. I guess there's a chance I'll get something in the post - if they log the registration of cars left past the time. But wouldn't they usually be ON the car if they've been issued? Anyway, it was fine and it looks like I've gotten away with it at least for now. Going to have to try and forget about it coz it's really stressing me out.

I don't really treat myself to stuff even when I do have money. I'm a saver and would rather put extra money in the bank than buy something I don't need. I'll buy the odd thing from Lush or The Body Shop, but they're usually things I need like shampoo and face stuff, rather than luxuries. Plus we don't have a bath!
I buy clothes if I really need something or if there's something I really, really like, but it's pretty rare for me to buy clothes.
Whenever I spend money on me it'll be food shopping or the odd coffee out. When we eat out now it's usually at the veggie place and it costs roughly £5 for a big main meal and a drink.
The coffee I bought yesterday was in a buy one get one free offer too - shared with Mum. And today's I used Costa points to pay for it.
I really, really don't spend money on myself. It goes on the car, the animals, then me lol. I'm very, very good with money and have seriously cut back. I think if I knocked anything else on the head I would literally have nothing left. The expensive coffee is a novelty with the Xmas flavours coming out, but usually I just get plain black coffee. I buy coffee at the cinema and the odd £2 bag of pic & mix - very rare I go over 2 quid. But otherwise take my own drinks and snacks.

I can't cut my spending back any more without not buying food or not leaving the house

I HAVE to go back to work. And I thoroughly believe I could more than cope with doing a decent chunk of my job. The things I would ask to be "excused" from for the time being would only really be what a pregnant woman would be told not to do - heavy lifting, restraining large animals, being able to sit or rest when needed. Don't see why I couldn't have the same consideration just so I could go back to work and do 'something'. Would feel like discrimination!
I need them to know that yes I am still sick, but I've learned to cope with my symptoms better than I was, it will hopefully be a short term thing (I get 6 weeks phased return anyway & owed holidays), and lets face it, I'm not an invalid or bed bound, I can DO things!
It basically comes down to whether they would let me avoid those few dangerous situations and whether I will be allowed access to a stool or allowed to go sit down for a few minutes if I feel the need to.

Yeah the "this takes time" line is getting really, really old. I understand that, but this has been going on for a very long time and I've been left with absolutely no treatment or any consideration for the fact that I need to be in work and how important that is to me. I'm starting to get really, really angry and really f*cking desperate too. I'm on the verge of praying that the endocrine Dr's will be on the ball and know what to do with me. Coz if not I am going to have to go back to work and risk making myself worse. I really don't see how I have a choice without losing a lot of things from my life - the most important thing being Ellie! If I couldn't get her treatment thru work with my staff discount and had to go back to private it would cost me over £150 a month JUST for the Cushing's meds, never mind her painkillers and joint supplement. So, probably well over £200 a month. The car currently costs me £230 per month in insurance and repayments. I have other bills too and obv other animals to buy food for. And then there's me to look after too....
I just can't carry on like this with no hope in sight. I'm literally at the end of it here

I did buy quite a lot of new clothes when I got to around the size 14 mark because bugger all of my stuff fit me any more lol! But even that was limited because I had to buy my gear for Sweden - which I did in bits over about 18months lol. So I understand you buying lots of clothes because now you can! I totally get it But yeah, clothes ban

Sorry to moan about everything again. I just can't cope with the stress and worrying about my future any more - or potential lack of future! Have just had enough and I need to do as much as I can to cope with my current situation AND try to better my future prospects. Going to try my best with course work this week and really put the effort in. That's at least a start!
Me and Mum are going to try and put together an action plan and list and stuff for me to contact work with. She's been through this quite a few times with her work because of her awful illnesses. So she's quite good at this sort of thing.
It's about what you CAN do and not really about what you can't. And whether your work are happy for you to be there contributing something, whether you're 100% or not. But then if they try to stop you going back without legitimate reasons it can get messy. Mum at least had her union rep on her side, I've got nothing like that. Can only try can't I? And I'm going to stop rambling now.
Have had probably about 9million syns today but I don't really care
See y'all tomorrow.xx

 

[Tetris]

*MAHOOOSIVE HUG!!*
I really dont know what else to say you have had the year from hell and I hope that next year is awesome sauce to compensate!
You do sound like you are dealing with your illness better and you can manage cleaning out your bunnies and driving etc so I think you would be OK to do the lesser strenuous stuff at work... Just not things where animals lives are at stake under your medical attention in case you suddenly get a migrane like headache or something.
I dont see why they would deny you what you've said and they do seem to have been supportive so hopefully work give your plan the thumbs up! X