Confessions of a 'fat bird'!

Totally agree about sugar free squash!

Lindzi, Im so glad to hear that you are turning a negative experience into a positive one! I wish all the luck in the world to you!
 
A trip to the shop in the morning im thinking! I only have no added sugar squash in and i dont think thats the same

Thanks everyone x
 
Whoo hooo, i am on such a high today, everything has gone right!!

I was just sorting kids out tonight before i went to my weigh in, and my ex knocked on the door! He said he wanted to talk! I let him in and he said he wanted to pay me the money he owed me, so i knew right away he was after something...then he kept asking if i was still single and telling me he missed me. He grabbed me for a hug, then went to kiss me....i pushed him away and told him to leave!! I have never ever managed to do that before, he knows i can never say no to him....but i did :):)

So as much as i was on a huge high going to weigh in i was certain i had gained after a couple of slip ups, and its * week and i just didnt follow 100% so after standing on the dreaded black square, i was sooo impressed id lost 2lb!!! whoo hoo go me :):)

I've bought the 100 easy days on extra easy book and its got some real nice meals in it so im now going to sit and plan my meals for the next week, and im determined to have a 100%week
 
thank you :):) .....i dont drink so im having a hifi bar instead lol...i am enjoying it tho lol
 
Thank you :)

Well ive had a really good day today, woke up feeling all positive and im now sat here after having 3 meals today and a couple of snacks feeling nice and full....my biggest problem the last couple of weeks has been not been able to eat enough, so ive really made an effort to eat more today. Its quite bizarre, normally i dont feel hungry, but it seams the more i eat the hungrier i feel! ....anyhow today ive had..

B = Banana and strawberries with a muller yogurt
L = Mackrel and rice followed by a banana
D = Quorn sausages, mash (cheese hex a, btter 3 syns) peas n sweetcorn
Snacks = hifi bar (hex b), 3 malted milk biscuits (6 syns)

I might have a couple more biscuits later on :) Been thinking today about joining the gym too...my biggest thing with that tho is babysitting as my middle daughter is only at school in an afternoon and my youngest is only 10 month old...will have to work on it!
 
He is driving me nutty to be fair, he has been texting me and sending me messages on facebook all day, its got to the point where ive had to block him lol. I feel great for doing it though and wish id of done that a year ago instead of messaging him back lol...never mind we live n learn :)

I'm having a real emotional day today for some reason. I hate weekends now im single, my kids go to their dads so im home alone. I did get invited out tonight (i also got asked on a date) but woke up to a few inches of snow this morning so i just couldnt face going out in it lol, not in the right frame of mind either really to be honest. So im ashamed to say ive done nothing all day! Just sat and watched films....the biggest drawback is its made me want to pick at food....but ive been strong and tried to stick to plan..

Breakfast was - 2 x scan bran (2 syns) and 2 dairyleigh light triangles, followed by a whole jelly (1 1/2 syns) i know not the best breakfast lol

Lunch - s/w chips....i just cant seam to get these right tho so didnt really enjoy them! folllowed by 2 oranges

Dinner - wholewheat pasta mixed with ham, sweetcorn and the other 3 dairyleigh lights from my hex a

Snacks - 2 x pink n whites (4syns) and a yogurt with strawberries

I have also made a trifelly type thingy lol in case i fancy munching later which is 1 1/2 syns for the whole thing and tastes divine!

Im sat watching merlin now feeling stuffed, had a bit too much pasta i think! and while i sit here im thinking about this plan and im going to attempt to change my days i think. ive just got my head around the ee days, but i dont want to rely on just that so im going to throw in some red days this week i think. Just going to sit and redo my meal plan.

I need to get a grip of myself and drag myself out of feeling like i do, just feeling real low today, i think its cause im feeling so lonely, i really do miss him.....why do broken hearts have to be so hard!
 
I peel and cut the chips then boil them for 5 mins or so. Dry them out on some kitchen roll....then spread them on a baking tray, spray with fry light and bung in the oven for half hour or so
 
hmm thats how i do it! Hmmm what seem to be wrong with them? I dont like them...unless i have salt and vinegar on them! Its the law!!!! :D
 
Im not its hard to explain lol...i wash all the starch off them first but its like i can still taste it, and they dont crisp up but the edges go really card and cruncy instead when the main but of the chip is still looking very anorexic so to speak....im gonna try making them into little squares instead i think, see if it makes a difference lol
 
I cant believe the amount of snow we have had, been snowing all afternoon and it looks gorgoeus out there....glad i dont have to go out in it tho!! lol. I just hope my kids get home ok as i live at the bottom of a huge hill and it is leathal...hope there dad drives carefully!!! It was a whopping -11 at 6am this morning....brrr!

Its a nightmare when the kids are away cause i just dont eat properly, i hate cooking for just me! so as much as i had all good intentions, i know i wont manage the 3 meals today, only just had my lunch and im stuffed!

Onb the positive side ive gutted my house, and swept and mopped all my floors....beats going to a gym for sure, i was shattered lol....i am so unfit its not funny, i really need to get my act together and join a gym! im just far too lazy lol

Breakfast - 3 x toast (6.5 syns and hex b) yogurt
Lunch - omeltte (cheese n tuna) (hex a )

snacks - biscuit 2 syns

will update later if i have any dinner :)

Feeling much more positive today then i was yesterday, i think i just so lonely when the kids aint here it makes me down....i need to work on changing that :)
 
arrrghhh so mad at myself!! My ex came round at midnight last night and i stupidly let him in (well it was snowing and he looked freezing) he ended up staying the night :( After a bit of the other so to speak lol we was laid in bed and i said to him roll over and ill cuddle up to you and he wouldnt,so i knew he was hiding something...anyhow i managed with lots of bugging to roll him over to be confronted with a dirty great big love bite and scratches down his back...what a kick in the face that was :(....altho he was honest and told me all about it :rolleyes: and he ended up sleeping with a lass on thurs and fri night after he had been drinking he said...it was thursday i turned him down and kicked him out...he said he was feeling sorry for himself and she offered it. We did have a good talk and im glad he was honest about it all, but it still hurts...certainly didnt take him long to move on! He has asked to come back round tonight too and i agreed, but im seriously thinking of changing my mind! Why do i keep doing this to myself :cry:

He was up for work at 5am and its taken all ive got not to hit the munchies this morning, just feeling real crappy, if i hadnt of kicked him out he wouldnt of gone with her!

Anyhow managed to be good so far and had some porridge with strawberries in (hex a+b)

Also got my kids off school with them been shut cause of the snow so that aint helping either....just wanna go back to bed and stay there today!! :wave_cry:
 
It's so easy to read someone elses diary and think 'why would you do that?' but I know exactly how you feel and you have my every sympathy. I kept going back to an ex for over 5 years for just a bit of you know what, and I'd feel good for a while that 'yay, someone wants/fancies me' but after I'd feel awful that I'd fallen back into old habits and it wasn't quite so confidence boosting after all knowing I wasn't good enough for him to want me as a girlfriend but I was ok for one thing when he fancied it. It's too easy when your self confidence is low to allow guys to use that against you.

Don't let it make you stray from your diet, you're doing too well for that. And don't beat yourself up over letting him back in your life. When your confidence increases and you're ready you will ditch him and realise you deserve better :)
 
Thats exactly how it feels yea...im just mad at myself for not been strong enough now! The thing is i know we would of worked if it wasnt for the fact his kids hate me and made it impossible for us to see each other....they saw me as splitting there family up, even tho he wasnt with his ex when we got together......altho i later found out he was still sleeping with her so they onviously saw him home and was so confused themselves!

If only life was easier lol.....thank you x
 
sounds like a nightmare situation, but you can't just switch your feelings off for someone. he's probably aware of that and is taking advantage.

if you really don't want him over then cancel and make yourself busy - invite a mate over or take the kids to the cinema. that way you'll take your mind off things.

if you are going to see him again i'd make sure he gets down the sexual health clinic and gets tested and insist on using protection. make sure you look after yourself. x
 
I said that to him last night, cause it wasnt till afterwards he told me about this other lass, first thing i did is ask him if he used anything....he didnt! So i said i was booking into the clinic, i lost his baby in august and when i went through that they tested me then so know i was clear so ive never worried with him...till now! My heads a shed lol...

But on a positive note ive been out playing in the snow instead of binging lol....so i have stuck to my plan today :D altho i have used more syns then i wanted when mum made me a huge sandwhich (6.5 syns) ahh well, less to pig out on tonight lol
 
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