Confessions of a 'fat bird'!

[Linzi_C]

Physical things i hate about myself!....that i WILL change!

The pain i get in my knees when bending down
The fact even going up n down stairs can have me out of breath
The roll of fat under my boobs thats haunts me in nice tops
The way my neck dissapears if i put my head down
The way my belly hangs over my knickers
My fat fingers
Not having photots of me and my kids together cause i look huge
Not been able to look in the mirror and see something i like
the way my thighs rub together when its hot
the huge amount of fat on my upper arms (bingo wings)
Not been able to buy clothes in normal shops
Not feeling comfortable in leggins or dresses
The way everyone comapires me to my size 6 sister!
The way no one in my family has faith in me
The fact been the size i am has made me so lazy i dont like getting off my fat arse for anything!
The way my son is following in my footsteps and is classed as obese...at 8!!!
The amount of times ive cried because someone is picking on him for been fat

The above is my insperation list....whenever im feeling like eating things i shouldnt...or feel like giving up im going to come back here and remind myself of what i hate and what will change if i put my mind to it!

 

[mod-karen79]

sounds like you've done alot of soul searching today. try not to worry too much about your son as alot of it might be puppy fat. if you're all eating the same foods and starting to exercise he will lose weight naturally.

it's really good to be single sometimes. i was single for years and had so much fun because i wasn't hung up on anyone. it was just me and my mates getting up to mischief.

 

[funcurls]

Life is so unfair sometimes isn't it!! Just when we think things are going along swimmingly suddenly we get knocked sideways when we least expect it! Sorry to hear about your friend with leukaemia and your friend who has lost her baby! All you can do is be there to support them, a shoulder to cry on, and practical help if you can! And learn the lessons that these things teach us- as you rightly say, life is so short and we have to live it to the full while we have it! We also learn that there's really no point in stressing about the small stuff in life! Use the energy to plough into acheiving what you want to where your health is concerned! Do it for your children but most importantly do it for yourself! Stay strong XXXXX

 

[mod-karen79]

i forgot to add aswell that along with your list of negatives you need to make a list of positives - reasons you love yourself. this can be quite hard as we are more used to being critical of ourselves.

i'll start it off:

1. beautiful inside and out
2. intelligent and self aware
3. brilliant mum

 

[Linzi_C]

Aww thank you karen xx I will do a positives list when im a bit more with it lol....I ended up going out last night and got rather drunk! First time id been out in about 7 months and it was fab! But boy am i feeling it today lol

Must say im feel a whole lot better about things...the dad of the baby that died came out with us last night and we had a real good talk bless him....puts things into perspective!

Need to have a real good day today to make up for me alcohol intake last night lol, i dread to think how many syns i drank!! Im only been up about 15 mins but im starving as i did manage to resist the kebab last night! yeyy go me lol So im just going to have a green day today...

poached egg on toast (heb b)
Cheese n onion pie and broccoli, carrots and sprouts for dinner (hex a+b)

snacks - fruit fruit and fruit!

and copious amounts of water and paracetamol lol

 

[Linzi_C]

I think i should have a hangover more often! Ive had such a productive day! I've got a lovely veg soup bubbling away in my slow cooker for lunches, ive got a cheese n onion pie in the oven for dinner tonight, ive got a chilli and a spag bol on the hob to put in the fridge/freezer for during the week too. I will not be able to make excuses this week lol

Also with everything that happened i never made it to the gym, so i have rebooked my induction for tuesday morning! ive also scrubbed my kitchen and bathrooms, tidyed up the living room and dining room, washed all my floors downstairs and hoovered out the hall stairs n landing! Now the kids are back home so its time to spend some time with them before we all have an early night tonight!

Ive asked what they want to do and they want to watch beauty and the beast and have a picnic in the living room...so thats just what we will do .....and i bought some lovely fresh fruit this morning too so gonna make a huge fruit salad to munch on through the film

hope your all having a good weekend! oooh and also i got told by a friend of mine who was out last night that his mate thinks im stunning and hasnt stopped talking about me lol. He knows im not interested in anything but it certainly makes you feel good knowing people are interested in me lol x

 

[Linzi_C]

Getting far too old for drinking! I still felt rough today lol Ive had a good day today tho and im really looking forward to my gym induction tomorrow

Breakfast - omelette with cheese and ham (hex a)
Lunch - Veg Soup
Dinner - Cod with rice and broccoli

Snacks 2xalpen lights (hex b) 2x chocolate digestives (syns??) Jelly and fruit

Havnt used all my syns but i forgot to look how many biscuits were! lol will check and edit in a min.

Looking forward to more fish tomorrow! We had a fish van come round today and i spent a small fortune. The are starting a delivery service but will only be coming every 10 weeks...so ive stocked up All fresh from grismby and straight in my freezer

 

[EmmyLou30]

Who says you aren't fit and can't get up and do stuff!? Not me.....you did loads the other day by the sounds of it. That much housework would kill me!!

 

[Linzi_C]

trust me it nearly did i was knackered lol...and my house is a bomb site again so you would never of known i did it

___________________________________

Right that is me drawing a line under this last couple of weeks! and starting again. In all honesty ive not followed plan properly and i just know im getting a gain tomorrow....1st weigh in for 3 weeks! So tomorrow my sw journey starts again! Better then before!

The good thing is i did join the gym the other day, and loved it. Im booked in to have a personal plan done on friday with one of the instructors! Also i have no food in at all right now so its shopping day for me tomorrow too

Im still real hungry tonight but instead of blowing it further im going to bed!

 

[mod-karen79]

our bodies are strange things. although you've not been 100% you may still lose something. fingers crossed for you

 

[Linzi_C]

Evening all, well just got in from weigh in and i put on 2lb In all fairness i thought it would be worse so im ok with it to be fair....im shattered but im determined to get back on plan, so im going to plan at least tomorrows meals before i go to bed! Im also starving so i need to grab something quick now

Im also going to go to the gym tomorrow...start as you mean to go on and all that

 

[mod-karen79]

have you been on plan this week??? hope you're ok.