CornishTT S&S Diary

I'm not a parent myself but I know that my sister really struggles with this and I think more so since she has given up work. I'm really enjoying reading stuff by Brene Brown at the moment. She has what she calls a Parenting Manifesto. http://brenebrown.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/DaringGreatly-ParentingManifesto-dark-8x10.pdf She works with shame and I think there is a lot of shame and guilt that other people put on parents. It's a really, really tough job and I admire anyone who is doing it.
 
Pri - thanks for the support hun!

Tracy - I'm sorry for all your stress and worry you've experience, especially moving house where you can only live downstairs can't help! I hear you on the throwing in the towel and getting back to work if you don't conceive, I think we all need a balance in our lives, but like you say it would break my heart if they went 8-6, 5 days a week. A part time job school time would be ideal!

Clinquant - thanks for that link, will read in a little while. I think the guilt I feel (speaking for myself) is on so many levels. Doing right by our kids, doing right by our partners, doing right by our friends, doing right by society. Trying not to make the same mistakes as our parents but also trying to adjust to looking after someone that relies on you for everything from potty training, correct diet, standing up for them selves, etc. But also I revert to how I was treated when I was a child, as it's the only way I know. I also try and put myself in their shoes and remember how awful I felt when I was treated that way.

I wish I'd known the scale of the job before I fell pregnant, I think I would have tried to do the mental house work before I had them.

The one thing I must remind myself of is that I am doing the best I can for them, at this time. I will make mistakes and I will look back and think, oh dear. But this is now and all I can do IS my best. I am so fortunate to have two lovely children and a wonderful husband and the luxury of not working.

And I saw a full rainbow today, all the way around, a perfect semi-circle, it was spectacular. Maybe a sign of wonderful things to come!?
 
Decided to have my 'treat' day today and have it instead of a pack. It has pushed me slightly over my cals for today (by about 100 cals to 750) but since you have a 50 cal buffer each way it's only 50, lol. Also, I wanted to do it today so I could shift any weight I gain from it over the next 3 days for WI on Monday. I don't know what to expect but will completely understand if I have a gain tomorrow. Carbs are only 54 so happy with that.
 
I have been on both sides of the fence. As an ambitious working mother and both my boys were in day care nursery from 8.15 to 5.30 and sometimes to 6pm. DS1 who is now 17 started day care at exactly 12 weeks old when I was a trainee solicitor! Looking back I feel awful about it. However, they have both turned out fine despite being at nursery from such a young age. I took 6 months maternity leave for DS2 (he's 10 now) and always worked full time and I juggled a lot like many women. I finally decided to take a career break in 2011 (done a couple of locum jobs in between) and I can tell you that I find being a stay at home mum challenging. When I worked, I had a cleaner, I paid for ironing etc but now I have to fit everything in in between the schools runs and taking them to various after school things. It's hard juggling a job and having kids but at least you get out of the house and time of from being mum and get paid. However, it's hard being a stay at home mum because you never get time out from being mum, except doing all those chores without any pay! There is less "you" time in one respect.

I am ashamed to stay this but I confess I was a yeller when I worked and I am still a yeller now........I needed a course on parenting I think. It was all very well learning how to change a nappy or breast feed and keep baby a bath at ante natal classes but there is absolutely no guidance on anything else! Just your gut feeling and what you don't want to do as a parent (ie. all the things we didn't like about our own parents routines and rules etc). Sigh! Guess, we keep learning as we go along and that article really opened my mind.

Clinq I am going to read the link you mention too.

Thank goodness it Friday! I don't have to put any washing on until tomorrow! GRrRReat! At least I am my own boss for now!
 
CornishTT said:
Decided to have my 'treat' day today and have it instead of a pack. It has pushed me slightly over my cals for today (by about 100 cals to 750) but since you have a 50 cal buffer each way it's only 50, lol. Also, I wanted to do it today so I could shift any weight I gain from it over the next 3 days for WI on Monday. I don't know what to expect but will completely understand if I have a gain tomorrow. Carbs are only 54 so happy with that.
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I'd be very surprised if you gained weight eating a measly 750 calories, Toni. A VLCD is anything less than 800 calories, so I really wouldn't stress.
 
Day 13, 43 days to go. .
Loss today 0, total lost 1st.
Start weight 16st 11lb 8oz current weight 15st 11lb 8oz.

Hi guys, a STS from me today, not really surprised as this is week 2 and I've already lost nearly 5lb since Monday so ok with it.

I have signed up for Mrsfeenytobe's 30 Challenge, can be found here if you're interested. http://www.minimins.com/slim-save-o...-challenges-were-you-100-today-honk-here.html

I have opted for 3 challenges modified to suit me (and I posted my challenge on there too if you're interested). So day 1 today, will do it when kids have gone to bed. As I always see Sunday is my day off I will have a day off tomorrow and then redo day 1 on Monday.

I managed to not eat anything after my two wafers and packet of crisps, though there were moment when I thought, "oh, who am I kidding, I can't do this, let's just have a bar or another packet of crisps." But then I was busy with something else and the craving/thought just drifted away. Ended on 750 Cals and I feel like I've had my treat and now I can do another week of being good without feeling deprived. Really, I should do my 'treat night' on the evening after I WI but then that means I have to either change my treat day (but Monday is NOT treat day) or it means I have to change WI day to a Friday/Saturday and that would mess up up my challenge, so no.

The problem is that after I've had my treat I start to want more (food alchy raising her ugly head) and this morning I was so hungry I wanted my breakfast at 7am! I am always like that though, when I've had a take out or big meal out the night before the next morning I am fit to eat a horse! I guess my theory of one treat too many is correct again.

BUT, in saying all that, the 'hunger' was sated with packs and I am not hungry now (cottage pie and green beans for lunch) so it can't be that bad. Might try next week to have the pack of crisps on the Friday and the wafers on the Saturday and spread the treat and maybe it won't trigger the 'hunger' if I replace them with one of my packs for the day. Thoughts, observations, remarks welcome.

I am about to take DS up to the play park in his full waterproofs, as it's like to be soaking up there. He slept like an angel last night, he was in the back bedroom with the light off, stirred a few times but only woke up at 8.20am! I had DD with me on the couch in the lounge and she woke up at 4.30am but went back to bed till 6am. Going to repeat probably until we move (any one wanna buy a maisonette in Cornwall?). Meh, not ideal but am glad not to be awake from 4am!

As for my other challenge, I am winning mostly, but losing sometimes. I'd say about 80/20 atm. I've not been able to write anything down but I am trying to do it mentally and analyse as I go. Mainly, my triggers are about control and my high standards and what I think other people's perceptions are of these. The control was very much a massive part of my childhood. With the high standards, some of these were imposed on me when I was a child, some I have imposed since adulthood. I am making progress in acknowledging the triggers but also in feeling the frustration and letting it wash over me and accept the situation realising that the control and high standards are what is causing me to feel like this. Interesting and hope I can continue it.

Also, going to take another leaf out of Clinquant's book and try and meditate for 10 minutes a night. I like to think of it as a de-stresser and refocuser, and having used it extensively in the past, it is a very powerful tool.

Food today:
200g Alpro yoghurt (100cals, 4g carbs), Hazelnut shake, psyllium husks
Cottage pie & 150g green beans
Chocolate shake pudding
hot cafe late shake.

Another essay again today folks, sorry about that. Hope you all have a wonderful day. Catch up diaries later x
 
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Having had the crisps a few times and the wafer for the first time on Thursday I find it hard to think of them as anything other than an addition. I think the crisps are OK and I might have them on top of 4 packs if I continue to swim on a Friday. I'm not sure I will order the wafers again. I liked them a bit too much. The Friday treat day is such a compelling concept and I do find it hard to give up. Fine when I'm doing this in it's all or nothing way but when eating it's much harder. As for the hunger, I find the crisps quite satisfying because of the protein but the wafers just feel a bit sweet and airy. I think the hunger the next day may be mental chatter or just a random hungry day. Hard to tell - especially when we are probably not that great at reading the hunger signals.

Enjoy the meditation. I think I am going to have to do it first thing to make sure I fit it in. I've never met anyone who didn't find it beneficial; the main problem seems to be remembering at a time when it's convenient. If you look into the Brene Brown stuff her book, The Gifts of Imperfection, are really good on the issues of perfectionism and control. I've not read it all but it's really easy to put down and pick up again.
 
Day 14, 42 days to go.
Loss today 2oz, total lost 1st 0lb 2oz
Start weight 16st 11lb 8oz current weight 15st 11lb 6oz.

Morning all,

Clinquant - thanks for your post, I think I like both a little too much (I love 'junk' food) but I feel if I don't give myself a treat once a week I might go totally off the rails. I will try next week to space the treat out, have a bar on one day and the crisps on the other. I thin

It's going to be a short one, promise, lol. Sorry didn't catch up on all diaries yesterday, it was having a bleh evening. So I had another naughty night last night. I had a modified mild curry pack (extra curry paste and chilli puree, about 15 cals and max 1g carbs) yesterday for dinner instead of a shake but then, sighh, I had 2 vanilla wafers and 2 packs of crisps. Not good.

I might have to ban the treats as per yesterday's post. I'm not even going to work out what I had, I'm just going to draw a line under it and move on.

I lost 2oz over night, lol. Better than a STS or gain, so we'll see what the total loss tomorrow at WI for the week. Only have to lose 6oz to hit 15st10lb and then hit my next goal of being under 100kg!

Also, because of my bleh day I didn't start my challenge or do any meditation. But we'll draw a line under that too. Mediation tonight and challenge starts tomorrow.

Hope you're all winning x
 
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CornishTT said:
Day 13, 43 days to go. . Loss today 2oz, total lost 1st 0lb 2oz Start weight 16st 11lb 8oz current weight 15st 11lb 6oz. Morning all, Clinquant - thanks for your post, I think I like both a little too much (I love 'junk' food) but I feel if I don't give myself a treat once a week I might go totally off the rails. I will try next week to space the treat out, have a bar on one day and the crisps on the other. I thin It's going to be a short one, promise, lol. Sorry didn't catch up on all diaries yesterday, it was having a bleh evening. So I had another naughty night last night. I had a modified mild curry pack (extra curry paste and chilli puree, about 15 cals and max 1g carbs) yesterday for dinner instead of a shake but then, sighh, I had 2 vanilla wafers and 2 packs of crisps. Not good. I might have to ban the treats as per yesterday's post. I'm not even going to work out what I had, I'm just going to draw a line under it and move on. I lost 2oz over night, lol. Better than a STS or gain, so we'll see what the total loss tomorrow at WI for the week. Only have to lose 6oz to hit 15st10lb and then hit my next goal of being under 100kg! Also, because of my bleh day I didn't start my challenge or do any meditation. But we'll draw a line under that too. Mediation tonight and challenge starts tomorrow. Hope you're all winning x
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Aww tnites a new day n least its on plan things hun so not done too much damage ey :) n ur doin soo welll blesss ya well done :)..gd luck on the challenges im thinkinng of finally strtin the squat hallenege and wall squat challenege and the step challengw bt i cnt seem to find q decent pedometer app on my fone which doesn drain battery life lool zx
 
Morning Toni! Still winning I see! So I weighed in on Friday and I'd lost 6lb not bad eh?? However Friday night we went to an 18th birthday meal, I'd already pre-order my meal, not low carb, and drank like a fish! serious hangover yesterday and serious hangover food to go with it! haha! Anyway decided to order my SnS last night its coming Tuesday, untill then I have a few days of LT left. Stood on the Scales this morning and the 6lbs are back on! I know its only water weight and should be gone soon. Im receiving some free water flavouring because of the code you gave me. thank you! Anyway off to have my first shake of the day :) xx
 
Day 15, 41 days to go.
Loss today 0lb, total lost 1st 0lb 2oz
Start weight 16st 11lb 8oz current weight 15st 11lb 6oz.

Thanks Pri, Sam, Slim and happy, Clin & Kira. I WILL catch up diaries before going to bed tonight. Sleeping much better with our new setup, so actually full of energy today!

Another STS for me but not surprising as I had yet MORE crisps and wafers yesterday!? What is going on with my head? I think cause I got away with it for two days in a row (Fri and Sat) I thought, well, it won't hurt and I don't HAVE to write it on the forum! Obviously brain is still in 'Let's binge' mode and I AM going to confess all on here. Not to shame me but to be honest, secret binging has always been my thing (I even ate the crisps etc in the kitchen away from family, tsk).

Only saving grace is I didn't have my 4th pack so only came in at about 750 cals again. I know it's week two so will have slowed anyway but also no park for 3 days in a row, I think the crisps and/or wafers are to blame. Once that goes I think I will have a woosh.

I have decided to keep them in my garage (which is about 50 yards away from my house and I have to open two locks to get into). I used to keep crisps in the car when I did SW years ago, I found the extra faff to get there (put shoes n coat on, get car keys, etc) was enough of a distraction and prevented me from doing it. I would keep it in my car now but there's precious little space with buggies, bikes and the like.

I am feeling bloated and uncomfortable in the mid section and have taken senekot to try and shift things. Sorry for the tmi.

I am starting my 30 day challenge this evening when the kids go to sleep. My hubby bought me a Polar FT4 watch (in pink) to congratulate me getting into 15s (he's so sweet) and it should be here tomorrow. So in addition to the weight stats I am also going to start putting in cals burned and try and get a walk in if weather is ok.

Hope you're all winning. Still feeling a little bleh which meant I went to bed at 7pm last night, but I am trying to get positivity from the bright sunshine this morning and hope to go for a long walk with the kiddies after library and swimming.

Hope you're all winning x
 
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Hi Cornish,

I'm sorry your feeling a bit blah but the good thing is that you know we're your going wrong and what's making you feel so blah so it's something you can work on.

Your so active your a real inspiration to me, I make excuses having a toddler but you've got 2 and still fit it in.

My partner keeps telling me I need to be more active and I know he's right as I even though I know exercise isn't recommended on the plan they still expect us to be lightly active but at the moment my day consists of just housework and taking my little one to nursery (in the car) so I need to get myself moving a bit more so it's back to swimming for me this week :( x
 
Hey Tracy, I have to say being so active is a relatively new thing for me. If I could stay in the house all day every day I would but the kids would go nut and that makes me have to go out. My hubby is really active and usually recommends I go out and do more and only over the last 2 months or so I have listened. Also, it is so much easier to do not carrying so much weight around!

Swimming is a wonderful way to get fit, hope you enjoy it x
 
I think the garage is a good idea. I keep forgetting to take crisps and the chocolate bars home but I think it's for the best.

Good luck on the challenge tonight and trying out your snazzy new watch. Keep thinking I will invest in a Fitbit as my next reward.

And Tracy, I really resisted the exercise first time around but I kept up the yoga once a week and have added a weekly swim in. Definitely think it has made a difference to the toning - we'll see as I drop more. And I agree definitely felt more like doing it once the weight dropped. It's tough lugging 20stone around even to get from A to B.
 
The garage is a brilliant idea!! Maybe stick a note to the door saying 'really?' too! That way if you do make it out into the cold and 50 yards into the garden and the key goes in the lock, you can have a final chance to ask yourself if it's what you REALLY want!!
Out of sight is definitely out of mind! Mine are in a cupboard out the way so I don't see/think of them! Xx
 
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