Crazy life of Chilli

[AliGal]

Excellent decision. You'll really enjoy having a good computer. We've bought a bin - but Mr A has been so unwell, it isn't installled yet.

Isn't it such a relief to have some leeway? I feel so much better, even though we have not yet sorted ourselves out completely. At least we have some income now.

 

[ChilliQueen]

Hope Mr A feels better soon @AliGal .

Yes its a huge relief, the list of things needing done in the house would have continued to grow, it will take a good 2 years I think, for me to get everything replaced, repaired and upgraded and some savings built up, but at least we can breathe now and I can treat the kids a bit.

 

[ladybird777]

I was given an old Macbook pro by my bestie 4 years ago. It lasted 12 years in total and when it finally started to go wrong I bought another one. I cannot stand windows now. It really is true that once you have a Mac you never go back!

 

[ChilliQueen]

yes they just 'work' and keep working for a long time. I did think of trading in my laptop as I could have had £100 off, but I think I will enjoy the flexibility of having both more than the money off. (there's something I've been wishing I could say for a long time)

Well. Honestly - I haven't stuck to my food plan at all for the past few days. As it was just me and daughter here last night and we were celebrating on 2 levels (my mortgage and she had her backdated EMU payment) I've been promising her a take away and we decided to have it then as it was just the 2 of us. My scales are telling me I've gained 2lb's but I'm ignoring them and logging nothing. I'll try and get back on top of it this week, no more work until a week on saturday so I should manage ok, altho I've a meeting to nip in for Monday evening.

I picked up my lovely new mac yesterday morning as planned, and it looks right at home in my 'room' I'm thinking the room needs a name. It was the living room, then I've been calling it my craft room, but as it will be used for sewing, painting, writing as well as general crafting I think it needs a different name. Not sure what yet. A trolley I'd ordered to use for painting arrived yesterday too, so all my acrylics paints, mediums and stuff that I use for it is in the trolley now. I'm looking forwards to using it. However I need to make a lid for the middle section where the paint is living, as my dog helped herself to a tube :/ thankfully it wasn't one of my expensive tubes and even more thankfully it wasn't one that could be toxic, but it's made me aware that she obviously can't be trusted with that so it needs protecting.

Next month I think I'll be getting an ikea shop. A new sofa (one with removable covers) the dog hasn't eaten the freebie one so I think we're safe to buy a new one. some other bits and pieces, some things for daughters room that she's waited patiently for and I think I'll get a desk with a pull out tray for keyboard. When I focussed on writing once before I had quite a lot of pain in my wrists due to working with tools for years. I'm hoping the slightly lower keyboard position might help, as well as the fact a nice new desk will fit in really well with the drawers I bought from friend instead of the battered old table it's currently sitting on. The cheaper lines in Ikea are great value, I'm quite shocked at how much I'm able to get for the money I'm willing to spend.

I've a few lovely chilled out hours alone just now, just me and the dog chilling at the minute, it's bliss listening to music and I can just feel all my reserves filling right back up. Ahhh.

 

[AliGal]

Ahhh. What a lovely post. Just lovely - as things are coming together again.

 

[ChilliQueen]

Had a lovely dog walk this morning, then sorted out some files on my new mac, getting organised. I'm going to try to commit one hour most days to rewriting my novel and adding the other two, among other things. Also at least an hour, more on school days to making things. I should be able to fit a decent amount in every 2nd week when I'm not working as I have a whole week with no work and kids at school. In any case I can still be working on my craft and writing in the evenings too it just won't be uninterrupted. I need to bring some discipline into this part of my life.

I'm sat with my copy of The Artists Way, by Julia Cameron on my lap, has anyone worked through this book? I love it and have read it a few times. It helps people unlock their creativity. Much as I feel mine bubbling away, I recognise that I spend a lot of time thinking and organising and not enough time doing. I suspect I'm holding myself back a little... this book is good for inspiring us to understand our blockages and clear them. I am in a place of deep recognition right now - it IS time for me to progress in my life, on all levels. As I'm recommending reading material, I also love Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert, its probably my all time fav book.

Foodwise today I've had a feast of bacon, with grilled tomato, root veg fries, fried egg with cheese. Yoghurt and nuts and a hot chocolate.

 

[ladyfelsham]

Just loving these posts Chilli, you just sound so much more relaxed - it's only when you come out the other side that you realise how stressful a situation has been eh?

Re the sore wrists, i use a fabulous Velcro wrist strap (I get a sore thmb and thumb pad after too much typing or playing Ever Merge) - a Finburst thumb support splint for a tenner - and it really is wonderful, really helps.

Names for your room - there's the conventional Art Studio type name, or something different like the Dream Lab, House of Arts, the Artisan Club, Fine Arts Club, the Arts Bar, the Hobby Lobby....feel free to scoff at/ignore all of these .

 

[ChilliQueen]

When I had my craft stuff in my garden cabin, it was known as 'the den' shortened from the den of dreams, so I don't find your suggestions outrageous!

I may just go for something linking to my business name (Dragonfly Dreamseeker) I could just call it DD HQ, and have a do not disturb sign saying... dreamseeking in progress lol.

It occurred to me recently I've lived in this house for the longest period I've lived in any house. I've pondered off and on moving but now I have new mortgage I think this is where I will stay until my offspring... spring off. I've been here around 13 years, and this room has been changed around to accommodate many changes. I moved here for a new start about 18months after 1st husband died.

This room begun as a living room and was that for years, then as husband moved in, it had lots of bookcases installed and a 2nd tv to make room for his book collection and his gaming fun (we both played back then) fast forward to him in a mentally ill state and I suggested family room in the kitchen as I suspected he had SAD (the back of the house gets lots of sun) and he was unwilling to seek help at that time, instead choosing to tear our marriage apart as some people will choose to do... so then this room was a dining room and fitness area as he started to then buy more gym equipment. After a huge breakdown and seeking of help (for a time but never as completely as I'd have preferred), it was moved back and was a living room again. His gym equipment then dominated the kitchen. When he announced he was leaving, but we had to stay in the same house for a while, I then created a bedsit in this room, and lived and slept here.

Since he moved out over 2 years ago, it's been a living room again until we made our recent changes. When I think of it, this room has seen me through so much one way or another. It feels quite fitting that for a time at least I am taking it over, almost all traces of ex are removed from this house now. The only thing still in here really is a large very useful table that is also a pool table - bought because he wanted it. He didn't want it when he moved so it's basically our craft and dining table. I ponder getting rid of that as well but it's a really good size and height especially for cutting fabric... so why would I? It was one of those things he wanted but barely even used anyway. It's been really well used by me lol, and every now and then my daughter wants to play pool on it too.

I guess I should stop rambling. All I've eaten so far today is a little cheese. Planning roast chicken for dinner, I've got a bag of frozen mediterranean veg that you just chuck in the oven so I'll probably have my chicken with some of that and perhaps a roasted tomato or two, I love those.

 

[ChilliQueen]

ooh and thanks for the wrist suggestion. I'm thinking if I restrict my main typing to an hour most days and with the lower keyboard position of the desk in a month or two should help. I'm short anyway so I think the positioning will help.

If not I'll look into the supports you mention, I've no pain at the moment I'm just mindful if I overdo things I will have, and would like to avoid and control any issues.

 

[ladyfelsham]

Wow no wonder that room is your sanctuary! It's the only room in the house where you have control over what happens in it and what it looks like, so not surprising DD HQ means so much to you.

Time to completely make it all yours again - which is wonderful! xxx

 

[ChilliQueen]

yes, the whole home is becoming our sanctuary, just me and the kids.

Well yesterday we had roast chicken, I had ratatouille and roast carrots, 1 roast potato and 1 small yorkshire pudding. We also had desert... a small sticky toffee pudding with ice cream.

I understand that wasn't on plan, but it wasn't as far off as my days gone by either.

It has been decided by group family meeting lol, that now that we're not broke, and now that I've sorted the table out again that we should have a meal at least once per week at the table, daughter prefers that this is a roast and on Sunday, and they want pudding. So that's what yesterday was about. Going forwards though I can plan this better I'll probably always cave in to the one roast potato but I find that's enough, and I cook them in the fatty stock from the chicken topped up with olive oil, so at least I'm getting some fat from it too. I'm thinking I may routinely have berries and whipped cream for my Sunday dessert? my son might also enjoy that and it's more 'on plan'

This is what it's all about though isn't it? finding sustainable ways to manage our choices, finding the balance in our lives.

It is a work in progress as is the rest of my life.

I have to tell myself at times not to feel guilty, why would I? I've not given up. I have no one to answer to, and no deadlines to hit. My pace, my time, my choices.

 

[DeeOne_UK]

This is what it's all about though isn't it? finding sustainable ways to manage our choices, finding the balance in our lives.

It is a work in progress as is the rest of my life.

I have to tell myself at times not to feel guilty, why would I? I've not given up. I have no one to answer to, and no deadlines to hit. My pace, my time, my choices.

Totally agree, well said hun

 

[AliGal]

That sounds like a great plan, Your Majesty, to dine with your lovelies and then have berries for pudding on Sundays.

 

[ChilliQueen]

ok. So I have struggled a bit with proper motivation the past week or two. I've woken up today feeling a bit achey, feet, hips, neck and an ongoing ache in my arm since I did some serious scrubbing of the trailer tent tarpaulin weeks ago - it seems to take me so long to recover from anything muscular these days.

I think I may do a bit of research on foods that cause inflammation? I'm sure I eat a lot less of them than I used to, but plenty still slip through obviously, and I need to get rid of this weight, I'm certain it will help the feet pain in particular.

I remember saying I would 'reward' myself by making a new item of clothing periodically. My target for this is 1 stone lost - 176lb's. I'm still realistically 3 or 4 away from it at the moment (I'm staying away from my scale lol) so I'm going to try and renew my motivation by choosing what to make now. After this milestone I think I will 'reward' myself every 5lb's as my rate of loss is so slow and I expect will continue that way, especially now that I know I can actually afford to buy fabric! I do actually need the clothing anyway, I made several pieces last year but due to finances I definitely have a far from full wardrobe. I have a few pairs of trousers and a few tops and hoodies that I wear almost all the time.

I recently bought a new pair of jeans from Simply be, I did try making jeans before, but they simply weren't worth the effort and also it's next to impossible to get denim fabric with the right stretch, and it ended up costing more than they were worth as you can buy them so cheaply in different lengths etc. Whilst browsing I came across a dress I really liked

Mid Blue Utility Midaxi Dungaree Dress | Simply Be

Chic, feminine and made from ethically sourced cotton, our new denim midaxi dungaree dress in a classic mid blue wash is a stunning utility trend addition. This style has many features including adjustable straps, front split, side buttons, multiple pockets, including side pockets for that...

www.simplybe.co.uk

if the link won't work search for simply be, mid blue, utility midaxi dress

Now... one of the reasons I sew, aside from actually just enjoying it, is that there is absolutely no point in me ordering that dress. At 5ft tall, even with the adjustable straps the bib would sit too high or the waist too low and the skirt would be too long.

I've decided I want to make something like that. My favourite pattern company (patterns for pirates) has a dungaree pattern but with an a-line skirt, I'm going to use the pattern but modify the skirt. ALSO (@ladybird777 you'll like this idea) I've always loved Joe Browns style of adding in sections of different fabrics and have always planned to try to make my own in this way, so I've decided I may use a little of that inspiration in this forthcoming dress too. I'm excited I can shop for fabric next week and use it as motivation to get these lb's shifted, not allowing scissors to cut fabric until I reach my interim target of 176.

Then, all being well I will choose another project and set my next target, and see how things go!

Now don't get me wrong - I completely understand that our current bodies - wherever we are on our journeys - are already worthy of nice new clothes. However it is difficult to find things that are motivating, or rewarding to encourage ourselves along. Historically we all celebrate almost every event with food don't we? birthdays, passing exams, getting new jobs, achieving anything - we reach for some celebratory drinks, perhaps a take away etc. This is merely a non food way for me to celebrate, reward and motivate myself forwards. If I felt I wasn't worthy of something I'd be saying 'once I get to 126lb's I'll make a new wardrobe' and that isn't what I'm saying. Although I might do that as well!

 

[ChilliQueen]

ooh and in other news I made strawberry mousse. I took 6 strawberries and pureed them with some sweetner and vanilla essence, then added to whipped cream - it was lush. It was lunch

 

[ChilliQueen]

Other other news, I've been wearing 18s in jeans. Expected my new jeans to be snug but 16 fits perfectly.

Other other other news I'm off to see my parents for first time in months

 

[ChilliQueen]

had a lovely visit with parents yesterday, My Mum isn't really in a position to make us dinner anymore so we've agreed (well the kids have) that the routine will be picking up Macdonalds on the way in, but... usually I'd have a chicken sandwich meal, or a chicken select meal with a banana milkshake. So between chips and milkshake and sometimes a bun a very poor choice. Now don't get me wrong I know this still isn't ideal but it's a compromise, I refuse to buy junk food salad lol. I will typically have 5pieces of chicken select which as far as I know is their best quality chicken, no chips and a diet drink instead of a milkshake. The only thing there that's truly off plan is the chicken coating, but once a fortnight I don't think is too big a deal. I had the chips yesterday but actually didn't eat them, turns out I don't seem to like them anymore. funny that.

This morning was a bit crazy, son has a sore mouth so I took him to school late in favour of getting some soothing gel from the chemist, I'm glad we were in the car the rain was absolutely hammering down. Then I took him to school and obviously had to talk about his gel and pass over to staff. Then I took my car to drop off at garage (long overdue service and a couple tyres needed) then I had to walk home in the still pelting rain... but THEN we had lightening and thunder and I absolutely LOVE thunder, so although I arrived home utterly drenched and having to change ALL of my clothes I was happy. Theres also a dip in my garden gazebo roof, I think it got stretched when there was snow siting on it, I now have to empty it every time it rains, I've emptied out what would have been bucketsfull twice already today and it's needing done again. I'd love to get a permanent addition out there, like a car port type roof shelter? but that won't be in my budget anytime soon. I'd love an extension but I know by the time I save up for one I won't need it as the kids will be older/moving on. This idea has floated around over the past year or more and is more realistic to achieve and use. I can probably get something like that in a couple of years I think, unless I change my mind again off course.

I haven't eaten anything yet, but it's lunchtime now so I'll probably make something soon. Perhaps some eggs with ham and cheese...

 

[AliGal]

Lovely to catch up on your life, Queen. The mother visiting MacD's plan sounds good. The lovely patching/adorning Joe Brown stylee sounds fantastic.

 

[ladyfelsham]

I love being out in the rain too, it's so exhilarating! Not so sure about being out in the thunder and lightning though .

Hope you can get that gazebo roof sorted!

 

[ChilliQueen]

thanks

For my planned dress I'll probably go to my local fabric shop next friday as I'm working my usual run of 5 nights starting saturday night, then if she doesn't have what I'm after I'll look online but I do like to feel the fabric. It's amazing we have the shop here as it's a small village but she started out selling fabric from a bedroom in her house and has gradually expanded opening premises, the nearest John Lewis isn't re-opening again which is sad for the employees, but it means her little shop is likely to do even better and she's expanded again for re-opening herself. I'm looking forward to being able to support her a little as I couldn't buy much over the past couple of years. Obviously I still can't throw money around but I can probably buys something to make a garment now every month or two as per my idea for motivation further up.

I've also been looking at grass fed beef and free range chicken. I've felt guilty for a long time that I only bought free range eggs (the only 'free range' I could afford) but was buying normally farmed chicken and beef. I'd actually prefer not to eat animals but I know my body responds better to a meat diet, it would be extremely difficult if not impossible to keep my insulin low on a vegan diet. Anyway now I could afford for us to eat better meat, better for the animals and I'd expect healthier for me and my children. The range at supermarket isn't very big, free range chicken breasts seems to be all tesco have.

My first google hits were national butchers, but there are a few Scottish ones (I'd like to buy as locally as possible) obviously it's more expensive but I've worked out we could stock the freezer with around worth of meat/chicken from ethical sources and still be within a reasonable budget, not something I could have considered before.

The gazebo roof I think if I take it down and put it up again it may be enough to reposition the roof fabric more evenly, just need to get around to it, but I suspect I'll need to just keep emptying it. They're not really supposed to be left up all year around and mines been up for 7 or 8 months.

I won't be weighing in tomorrow, much as I've not really been on plan, I've also been clearing stuff out and can't reach my scales, which is a marvellous excuse lol.

Must get my proper 100% discipline back, I've not deviated far, but my body is so sensitive I know that a little means a lot at times. Off course it might mean more or less than I think given that I haven't weighed or measured.

I'll get there anyway.