Diary of a VERY Determined Girl!

[Rae Rae]

aw, what happened? thanks! yeah i kind of hope so! im really enjoying the walking and i realised i want to be beautiful and have arms that arnt the size of 10 victoria beckhams!

Betty x

Think I've mentioned before I had an eating disorder so that came hand in hand with secret eating. I haven't done any of that for 5 months+funnily enough, that was when I started sw

It's so much easier to get out walking when the weather's good. You got any plans to go swimming? Xx

 

[betty.sw.x]

Think I've mentioned before I had an eating disorder so that came hand in hand with secret eating. I haven't done any of that for 5 months+funnily enough, that was when I started sw

It's so much easier to get out walking when the weather's good. You got any plans to go swimming? Xx

its brilliant you havnt done that for 5 months, amazing achievement!!! i can imagine its very hard? im going to try and remember how guilty i feel after i do it as it really isnt worth it!
yeah when its raining im not that keen to go walking but when its cold i dont mind! so long as its dark dont like been seen hahaha.
i usually go swimming a tuesday and thursday but this week my brothers grandad is in hosp and my friend is poorly so i havnt been!

Betty x

 

[betty.sw.x]

what is wrong with me please? started off the day really well, then got into work..was so so soooo busy! ravioli for dinner then kept on been busy! felt tired and fed up and run down, had a sneaky few biccies in the staff room. SYNS. i have came home after going to Aldi for some veg for tea tonight, boyfriends gone out to apply for some more post grad jobs im sat at home, on the settee, in my work stuff, scoffing more biscuits and crying.
i hate this. every now and then i get uncontrollable eating.
i wanted to go for a walk but the rain is hoying down and its blowing a gail.
i would go to the gym but my boyfriends got my car as his is still broke.
im fed up. i look at other peoples weightloss journeys and how amazing they have done and how i never will.
im always going to be big while im like this. ive ruined the whole week and have hardly been able to exercise.
where has my motivation, my determination and willpower gone? its been replaced by tired, run down, fed upness.

i need a hug and a kick up the bum...

Betty x

 

[Rae Rae]

its brilliant you havnt done that for 5 months, amazing achievement!!! i can imagine its very hard? im going to try and remember how guilty i feel after i do it as it really isnt worth it!
yeah when its raining im not that keen to go walking but when its cold i dont mind! so long as its dark dont like been seen hahaha.
i usually go swimming a tuesday and thursday but this week my brothers grandad is in hosp and my friend is poorly so i havnt been!

Betty x

Thank you. To be fair since I started sw, I've actually been ok+only had the urge to binge once but didn't do it not saying it's all been easy cos it's been bloody hard but wish I'd have done sw a lot sooner xx

 

[Rae Rae]

what is wrong with me please? started off the day really well, then got into work..was so so soooo busy! ravioli for dinner then kept on been busy! felt tired and fed up and run down, had a sneaky few biccies in the staff room. SYNS. i have came home after going to Aldi for some veg for tea tonight, boyfriends gone out to apply for some more post grad jobs im sat at home, on the settee, in my work stuff, scoffing more biscuits and crying.
i hate this. every now and then i get uncontrollable eating.
i wanted to go for a walk but the rain is hoying down and its blowing a gail.
i would go to the gym but my boyfriends got my car as his is still broke.
im fed up. i look at other peoples weightloss journeys and how amazing they have done and how i never will.
im always going to be big while im like this. ive ruined the whole week and have hardly been able to exercise.
where has my motivation, my determination and willpower gone? its been replaced by tired, run down, fed upness.

i need a hug and a kick up the bum...

Betty x

You haven't messed up your whole week. You've still got fri, sat and sun on plan before wi on Monday. That's nearly half a week. Consider this your kick up the bum xx

 

[betty.sw.x]

You haven't messed up your whole week. You've still got fri, sat and sun on plan before wi on Monday. That's nearly half a week. Consider this your kick up the bum xx

how do you manage to stop your binge eating?
i cant pull back a good 4days worth of rubbish food in 3days i can only do body magic sat as busy tomorrow and at the hosp with boyfriend Sunday

Betty x

 

[Rae Rae]

how do you manage to stop your binge eating?
i cant pull back a good 4days worth of rubbish food in 3days i can only do body magic sat as busy tomorrow and at the hosp with boyfriend Sunday

Betty x

I honestly don't know, the last time I binged was sept and I've done it for as long as I can remember. I started therapy last August and at the time I was restricting calories so wasn't fully with it but it all seemed to click in October when started sw. I think its cos I'm not restrictin, or cuttin out food groups so my body's gettin what it needs.

Yeah you can't take back the last few days but if you're good from now then you can't make it any worse. Hope you're ok xx

 

[betty.sw.x]

I honestly don't know, the last time I binged was sept and I've done it for as long as I can remember. I started therapy last August and at the time I was restricting calories so wasn't fully with it but it all seemed to click in October when started sw. I think its cos I'm not restrictin, or cuttin out food groups so my body's gettin what it needs.

Yeah you can't take back the last few days but if you're good from now then you can't make it any worse. Hope you're ok xx

yeah slimming world lets you have a beauty range of food doesnt it, thats brilliant you have done that, especially with your struggle in the past, i hope you realise just how much of an inspiration you are.

i really need to start thinking like that, instead of ' ive done bad so might as well carry on' i should think 'ive done bad but be good and it wont get any worse'
im honestly my own worse enemy, i need to start thinking positive instead of negative all the time!

Betty x

 

[Rae Rae]

yeah slimming world lets you have a beauty range of food doesnt it, thats brilliant you have done that, especially with your struggle in the past, i hope you realise just how much of an inspiration you are.

i really need to start thinking like that, instead of ' ive done bad so might as well carry on' i should think 'ive done bad but be good and it wont get any worse'
im honestly my own worse enemy, i need to start thinking positive instead of negative all the time!

Betty x

I'm not an inspiration, I'm just me. It's still a struggle at times but I'll get there....we both will.

I always used to think oh I've had a bar of choc that's not on my 'plan' so I've blown it and would then binge but in reality I should have just carried on. 'Normal' people have a chocolate bar then carry on as normal don't they.

Keep your chin up xx

 

[betty.sw.x]

I'm not an inspiration, I'm just me. It's still a struggle at times but I'll get there....we both will.

I always used to think oh I've had a bar of choc that's not on my 'plan' so I've blown it and would then binge but in reality I should have just carried on. 'Normal' people have a chocolate bar then carry on as normal don't they.

Keep your chin up xx

normal people dont have a full tube of pringles, crisps, cake, choc :/
thank you so much
xxxxxx

Betty x

 

[betty.sw.x]

okay so tea was bacon pasta bake packed full of superspeed and superfree, along with steamed carrots and sprouts. then for pudding it was me hystrically crying...yeah..
i sat on the settee and started sobbing. boyfriend asked whats wrong. i told him how i hate how im greedy, ill eat and wont stop. how im meant to be going on a night out on sat for my sisters birthday but i dont want to go as i hate how i look and how big i have let myself get. he got upset as its him that brings in the temptation. and if you read this diary, youll see it is. he mentions take away, he brings in bad food. its obviously not all him as it is me too with my lack of willpower that lets him crack on. he said he will stop. he promises. Then i said something that broke his heart.... i don't want him to propose to me while i'm still this big. i want to lose at least 4 stone. me ans boyfriend are very open about proposal and stuff he knows what rings i like and all that... and i think he was going to propose this year. But i cant. i cant have a ring tight against my chubby finger no matger how perfect it is. I can't smile in pictures dreading how i look.
so this is it.
tomorrow is a new day.
this is now a mission - a mission to lose enough weight i am comfortable enough to accept a proposal.
this is it.


off to cuddle up in bed now as my face is lovely and blotchy and my eyes are as small as 5pences.

who wouldn't want to marry me!

Betty x

 

[Rae Rae]

Oh betty, blees you. I'm glaf you've spoken to him about it all and hopefully now you can work as a team and you can start losing again. By the way, sooooo proud of you for jumping back on the wagon at tea time.....you could have carried on but ypu didn't. Be a little kinder to yourself xx

 

[betty.sw.x]

Oh betty, blees you. I'm glaf you've spoken to him about it all and hopefully now you can work as a team and you can start losing again. By the way, sooooo proud of you for jumping back on the wagon at tea time.....you could have carried on but ypu didn't. Be a little kinder to yourself xx

thank you so much, i really hope that he does this time.
i feel horrible and it needs to change.
thank you so much

Betty x

 

[Rae Rae]

thank you so much, i really hope that he does this time.
i feel horrible and it needs to change.
thank you so much

Betty x

No probs, here anytime xx

 

[betty.sw.x]

Pear for breakfast, pear for snack. Came home and dinner was ham salad i madd with lots of superfree.....i went and got my neice and taken her to my mams, came home... And had the two large cookies, two little snack choco bars and a dunker. WHY?!
at least all the bad foods gone..but its gone to my waist.

Why why why why why why?!

Betty x

 

[betty.sw.x]

Tea - sizzling steaks with all the fat chopped off, steamed cabbage, broccili, sprouts, carrots and leeks, with mash and fried mushrooms, onions, pepper and oxo gravy. Followed by melon and muller yoghurt and a greek one also ( half a syn)

Betty x

 

[betty.sw.x]

yea that is the thing about weight loss. It can be spot reduced. but it is proven though that it can be lost anywhere so that is good

Hi!
Im very confused haha

Betty x

 

[Rae Rae]

Hi!
Im very confused haha

Betty x

Betty, just ignore this poster. Seen them post random things on people's diaries yest. Think they're trying to get their posts up but doesn't make sense and Is not very helpful xx

 

[betty.sw.x]

Betty, just ignore this poster. Seen them post random things on people's diaries yest. Think they're trying to get their posts up but doesn't make sense and Is not very helpful xx

Haha okay cheers! I just thought he might have posted on wrong post!

Moving swiftly on....!

Good Morning

Betty x

 

[Rae Rae]

Haha okay cheers! I just thought he might have posted on wrong post!

Moving swiftly on....!

Good Morning

Betty x

I've seen 3 up to now+not just on sw but all over the boards, very random.

Morning

Wi this morning, absolutely brickin it, lol xx