Diary: Shroomfest - episode 2 - Experiencing the evil maintenance. :-)
- Thread starter Lostris
- Start date
Lostris
Serena's title didn't fit
This can happen. Cool innit
Quite nice really. What'll happen when I add another 10000kcal.... Will I lose a stone overnight??
Curious to see how this goes now. Still have 1300kcal left... didn't have breakkie till 11am lol and then went out for a walk / jog (just 2 small pieces) on the beach. Did some sit ups but I don't do them right, always hurt my neck..
Gawk. Will try to better that and I can have a yummy desert after my yummy dinner now Yay!xx
LellyCD
Trying to stay healthy!
Quite nice really. What'll happen when I add another 10000kcal.... Will I lose a stone overnight??
Curious to see how this goes now. Still have 1300kcal left... didn't have breakkie till 11am lol and then went out for a walk / jog (just 2 small pieces) on the beach. Did some sit ups but I don't do them right, always hurt my neck..
xx
Me too with the sit-ups hun, i am prone to 'wonky stiff neck' very annoying! sit-up make it worse so I try and do the 'roll-down' type of ab excercise instead 'roll-up'.
Cool on the scal- drop hun!
x
Lostris
Serena's title didn't fit
Me too with the sit-ups hun, i am prone to 'wonky stiff neck' very annoying! sit-up make it worse so I try and do the 'roll-down' type of ab excercise instead 'roll-up'.
Cool on the scal- drop hun!
x
I will google those, thanks! I know I have a stiff neck because I'm doing it wrong but still.......
Yay @ scale drop, stayed the same today but that's great. Let's see how it goes........
xx
Lostris
Serena's title didn't fit
Following post may contain very disturbing thoughts / happenings... please be safe if you're easily upset..:wave_cry:
I've been having a rough time, I'm currently coping with with my past. Some may know about it, others may not. In short it involved a very physically, emotionally and sexually abusive boyfriend. I've been with him for 1,5 years.
I recently signed on to a forum for people with similar experiences and one topic in particular really upset me. Won't describe it all but it basically said 'would you rather be raped and killed than raped and live?'
This has really, really upset me. I was very depressed through the time I was in that relationship.. I even thought of killing myself, sorry if too graphic and sorry if that upsets people but I did..
When I broke up with him, he threated me with a knife. In that moment, which could've been my final moment, all I could think about is my family.. how much I love them, how it would destroy them if I was no longer here.
All this time I've been so focussed on the other bad things that happened in that relationship that this just.... never got a lot of attention after it all happened. It's sort of come back to haunt me now. Mostly the helpless feeling and the feeling of.. being loved so much by my family. It has been upsetting me since yesterday evening and I've been on edge since.
*sigh*
Been good caloriewise. Had around 1500kcal may have something with my tea.
I've been having a rough time, I'm currently coping with with my past. Some may know about it, others may not. In short it involved a very physically, emotionally and sexually abusive boyfriend. I've been with him for 1,5 years.
I recently signed on to a forum for people with similar experiences and one topic in particular really upset me. Won't describe it all but it basically said 'would you rather be raped and killed than raped and live?'
This has really, really upset me. I was very depressed through the time I was in that relationship.. I even thought of killing myself, sorry if too graphic and sorry if that upsets people but I did..
When I broke up with him, he threated me with a knife. In that moment, which could've been my final moment, all I could think about is my family.. how much I love them, how it would destroy them if I was no longer here.
All this time I've been so focussed on the other bad things that happened in that relationship that this just.... never got a lot of attention after it all happened. It's sort of come back to haunt me now. Mostly the helpless feeling and the feeling of.. being loved so much by my family. It has been upsetting me since yesterday evening and I've been on edge since.
*sigh*
Been good caloriewise. Had around 1500kcal may have something with my tea.
sleepybird
wants a pony
Oh sweetheart, how horrible.
You are a surviver tho, look at how well you have done since and your sunny, caring outlook on life, exhibited throughout this forum.
Im not suprised reading other peoples experiences has brought it back to you. Not sure what to say but its a brave thing you have shared this with us and you know we will all support you anyway we can xxxxx
You are a surviver tho, look at how well you have done since and your sunny, caring outlook on life, exhibited throughout this forum.
Im not suprised reading other peoples experiences has brought it back to you. Not sure what to say but its a brave thing you have shared this with us and you know we will all support you anyway we can xxxxx
Nibbles
Silver Member
Lostris
Serena's title didn't fit
Thanks so much.. not sure what to say but thank you for this... means a lot :wave_cry:
Thanks! Same as above really..
No idea what to say... bit blank at the mo. :sigh:
sleepybird
wants a pony
Sometimes, even if people don't have the magic words or ability to make things better, it does help getting it off your chest and letting people who kind of know you....is it just me or do people feel they kind of know the contributors to this forum on some basic level?......be able to reassure you it wasn't your fault and you are totally normal to have something so huge affect you and to feel down and empty about events out of your control x
sleepybird
wants a pony
Bugger, i forgot my flowers....cheers Lelly! x:flowers:
Lostris
Serena's title didn't fit
Hi
I understand what you're saying, it's how I feel. It's hard to tell my family because they'd be hurt a lot by knowing it still hurts me so much. I just don't have the words.
I too feel like I know you guys on here, the maintainer-forum people more than most of the others as I read about most of your lives everyday..
Thanks Lelly xx
Thanks so much... xx
Lostris
Serena's title didn't fit
Hey Lelly,
Thanks for checking up on me. I am feeling a bit better yes, I feel silly I let it get to me so much... I expect myself to be okay about this all the time and... well, I'm not.
Guess I'm too harsh on myself People usually tell me that but I never believe them. Typical.
xxx
Thanks for checking up on me. I am feeling a bit better yes, I feel silly I let it get to me so much... I expect myself to be okay about this all the time and... well, I'm not.
Guess I'm too harsh on myself
People usually tell me that but I never believe them. Typical. xxx
Katycakes
Stubborn tortoise
Oh Lostris, just catching up on your last week's entries and BAM... saw this and had to break my lurk-don't-post-silence. Big hugs honey. This was always gonna hurt - reading/hearing stuff that chimes too much with something so traumatic from your past. It kind of goes straight back to the heart of it. I am glad you could post and share and get some support from minis... I agree with you & Sleepy, I have such an affection, caring & thankfulness to the people on here for getting me through so many hard times and wobbly moments. It feels like friendship, right? I really think it is.
I am techno-stupid and can't do the smileys or I'd send you some flowers/hugs that way, don't have your address or I'd send you almonds, don't have the right words or I'd type them... but I feel for you honey, and if I could I'd give you a big hug. You have come a long way, you skinny-mini-pink-jean-wearing superstar. I know it's been said before, but don't look back - it's not the way you're going. Take care and give yourself a chance to heal.
xxx
I am techno-stupid and can't do the smileys or I'd send you some flowers/hugs that way, don't have your address or I'd send you almonds, don't have the right words or I'd type them... but I feel for you honey, and if I could I'd give you a big hug. You have come a long way, you skinny-mini-pink-jean-wearing superstar. I know it's been said before, but don't look back - it's not the way you're going. Take care and give yourself a chance to heal.
xxx
Nibbles
Silver Member
Strange but so true, realistically we are all strangers, but i couldn't have made it to today on CD without Minimins. Take care Lostris, thinking of you.
Lostris
Serena's title didn't fit
Hey
I guess you're right, it is easy to feel upset if something is so close to you. I just didn't think I would get upset since I've been in therapy for other things and have really made progress in not getting upset @ intimate movie scenes and stuff.
I totally agree, it does feel like friends doesn't it? I really am greatful for all of you..
Thank you for your kind words, it really moved me.. thank you :wave_cry:
Strange but so true, realistically we are all strangers, but i couldn't have made it to today on CD without Minimins. Take care Lostris, thinking of you.
Thanks hon! Loving the can! x
Lostris
Serena's title didn't fit
I guess you're right.. Never seen a friendship can before but it serves a purpose!
I've been okay foodwise.. just had a bit more fatty foods but nothing I couldn't fit into my kcal plan.
Still not feeling great but it's improving I guess. Thanks for all your support, really really appreciate it..
xx
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