Dolly's Daily Diary

I feel so uncomfortably chubby today, wish I could bottle this feeling then unleash it on myself when I feel the need to binge.

We all know we can't do that so instead I am going to write it down here so that I can look back and remember.

Dxxx
 
Dolly Rocker said:
I feel so uncomfortably chubby today, wish I could bottle this feeling then unleash it on myself when I feel the need to binge.

We all know we can't do that so instead I am going to write it down here so that I can look back and remember.

Dxxx
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hi Dolly,
Just wanted to say good luck and that you are not alone with those feelings. The important thing is to just tell yourself tomorrow you'll be a little lighter because you kept at it ;)
 
Thanks enlightenme2.

I will be smaller tomorrow, you are totally right.

One day these feelings will be gone!

Dxxx
 
So just went for my weekly coffee catch up with a friend from work.

Got an iced black coffee, was really nice. Usually I would get a hazelnut hot chocolate (in the cold weather) or a frap of some sort but not today!

After she wanted to go to Philpotts for lunch so I went with her and came back to work for my shake!

Dxxx
 
Sure did!

Managed fine all the way through to dinner time yesterday, my Sister came over and we had a drink with some naughty food!

I did still go to WI this week though even though I didn't stick to plan all week like I should have.

I lost 3lbs which was great. Next WI is going to be a week on Friday due to working away for a bit.

Dxxx
 
Dear diary,

Been away with work for the last 2 days and I will admit to drinking and eating all the wrong things.

Time to re-focus;

* 33 days until Mar Hall Spa Day
* 37 days until London

I will see a 13 on those scales before I go to London, I WILL!!

From today I will have 33 straight days of 100% CWP.

I do love a countdown!

Dxxx
 
So went for a wee coffee date with a friend and just got black coffee and water, back to the office for my CWP mint chocolate bar for breakfast/brunch :classic_big_grin:

Day 1 of 33 going well so far.

Dxxx
 
Gahhh I have been there many many times, it’s so frustrating when your mind just takes over like that. :classic_frown:

Would you consider having 4 products a day for the first week? You would still lose massively on 800 cals and it might just ease you into it more easily? I tend to eat at 9am, 1pm, 5pm and 9pm so never get to a hunger level that I feel like I will binge. Once you get into ketosis then you could cut back to 3, I feel now I cut easily cut down but those first couple of weeks I would not have survived on 3 meals!!!

Hope you’re ok, try not to be too hard on yourself! Xxx
 
Dolly why did you punish yourself with a four day act of sabotage? I think you ve got to work on the psychology of your weight loss. Get your head in the game and you will be amazed how it turns round. I do not know much of you but your break up and being back at your mums must be having an impact. The only person you are hurting is yourself and frankly you deserve better. The momentary benefits of going on a binge are so massively over weighed by the self loathing that losing control over food causes. If you were happy at a higher weight then that is great but you’re not, you must find a way to get where you want to.
I’m the same I love a binge and can eat a frightening amount so I completely understand the triggers food can present. I now really don’t give a fly funky about bmi s or what ever measure they come up with this week I know where I can do every thing I want and not feel like a mountain of lard is a good place for me. Being completely honest with myself was one of the turning points for me. Don’t get me wrong even when I was 18st I wasn’t a miserable life hating type I made the most, happy face and all that. I do like that now my body doesn’t restrict what I want to do ( I’ve never wanted to run a marathon or climb mt Everest) being what is deemed as over weight is just fine with me but it won’t be ok for others.
Anyway I’m probably waffling but you just seem to be in a vicious cycle of good behaviour vs bad and you need to find a way to break it. Wish I had a magic wand but sadly I don’t

Do not give up you will find your way
Jenx
 
Thank you lovelies, I know this is something that needs to be looked at more deeply.

I just wish it was as easy as waving a magic wand.

Dxxx
 
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