Hey purpled. As Daisy said - me and Laura have done SW before and I would have given you the heads up if you were doing anything wrong. Its all looking good so far. You are using more syns on everyday meal stuff than I used to such as the roll yesterday but that's probably a far better option than eating syn free full meals and then adding in snacks.
The things I miss most about SW are the free or very low syn vegi stuff such as quorn nuggets, vegi sausages etc and the HEA. I reckon not having cheese every day is definitely better for me but I do miss it.
Don't have many answers about feeling satisfied and content in life unfortunately. I empathise with alot of what you have said - when I was younger I kind of had a checklist of things that would make my life magically happy - the perfect boyfriend, leaving home, getting a degree, having bright coloured hair, getting a decent job, having a nice holiday, getting a house, getting kittens, getting a dog etc etc. The problem was by the time I had achieved one of those and could tick it off my brain had already jumped several steps ahead and was obsessed by the next one being "the answer". I'm not really sure what changed, or exactly when but I feel genuinely content in my life these days (and there's still lots of things that are far less than perfect in it!) and have done for several years. There may be things I want to change, like losing weight, but they don't taint the things that are good anymore and I manage to fully appreciate the things I care about. Not really sure what the punchline is here, but I guess its that there is hope that things will change in the way you feel, even if it feels like you have always felt like that.