Exante WILL help me lose 3 stone

[slimwannabe]

Hope you have managed to get your letter written for the bride to be. And if she doesn't accept it an move on just remember you're the bigger and more grown up person.

I think we all need to give ourselves a pat on the back sometimes instead of always outing ourselves down or feeling guilty all the time Xx

 

[boofaloo]

The letter to bridezilla is a good idea...let us know how it goes. I am so happy about cath...it will be so good to have her closer to you and I'm sure that your stress levels will go down when shes back in the uk.
Alfie sounds like a fab boyfriend you've got a good one there

Hows exante going?? you managing??

 

[Queen Bizzle]

Hope you have managed to get your letter written for the bride to be. And if she doesn't accept it an move on just remember you're the bigger and more grown up person.

I think we all need to give ourselves a pat on the back sometimes instead of always outing ourselves down or feeling guilty all the time Xx

Sat doing it now, going to send in the morning so it doesn't look like I'm drunk or something haha! Boyfriend's read me the text he sent them, hearing he'd fully on my side makes me feel better x

 

[Queen Bizzle]

The letter to bridezilla is a good idea...let us know how it goes. I am so happy about cath...it will be so good to have her closer to you and I'm sure that your stress levels will go down when shes back in the uk.
Alfie sounds like a fab boyfriend you've got a good one there

Hows exante going?? you managing??

Thanks boof the news about cath should be my main focus, so once I get this letter out the way I can focus on moving forward!!!

Exante is fine again today. Still on one pack??? I find if I fight through the hunger I'm ok How's you? xx

 

[Angel72]

Oh Biz that's fantastic news about Cath, I'm so pleased she's well enough to travel and she's coming home to people who can support her like you.

I think the letter is a great idea, especially the part where you wouldn't have if she hadn't offered and you thought it would be for the best (which it is). Don't offer to give your place up at the wedding. It's up to her to make that call if she's really going to go there. I think your Alfie is def a keeper, not many blokes would be so supportive, he sounds just lovely.

Only one one pack all day? I can't say much because I've only had two but we must be careful to make sure we do three to get all our nutrients otherwise it leads to going off the rails, been there, done that! I'm not doing it again!

Youre doing amazingly, there is light at the end of your rough patch. Keep going x

 

[Queen Bizzle]

DIARY

Week 5

Day One - Thursday

20 days until Ibiza!

Right this is where I stop messing about. 20 days to go. I really wanna be firmly in the 11 somethings by Ibiza. I don't want any of this worrying about what I look like on the night out. Granted, I'm not gonna feel super skinny or comfortable in a bikini, but lately I don't even enjoy getting ready for a big night out as I just get stressed with how big I look and that's not like me at all!! Gonna try do as many TS days as is humanly possible between now and 3rd of June.

So my positive plan for the day, how did it pan out? Well, I spent the majority of the day still worrying about this message I have to write, talking to my housemates about it and whatever. But I think it's part of the process. I need advice on what to say and once it's done I can forget.

During the day I only had one pack, and a bovril. Not bad considering I was up and on my feet since 10am in the studio. I started off with a raspberry pancake - DELISH!!! First time I've tried these.

After intern I decided to get out the house and start with the positive vibe I was going on about. I set out to primark to buy a new bedsheet. I'm so glamorous I know!! Working in fashion, I hate Primark cause of their fast fashion, sweatshop ethics, but I'm also a student so sometimes I find myself in there I hate my double standards!!! My house mate said the bedding is not made in a sweatshop, but I'm not so sure. Anyway, whilst in there, I ended up having a try on I never go alone shopping, ever. And I now see how much better this is than dragging poor Alfie with me. I'm not a girly girl so when I go shopping in a group of females, I quickly get bored. But shopping alone is bliss. I think being happy doing things alone might be a step in the right direction for a positive me I've found that I'm quite needy and less independent now I've put on weight. Hopefully this is a step in the right direction to regaining some of my confidence.

ANYWAY like I was sayin, PRIMARK. I have no idea what size I am, but I was guessing 16 or 18 as I outgrew my 12s and 14s a long time a go then just ended up living in large leggings or elasticated skirts. But I fit my bum in to some jeans - a size 14 (stretchy might I add ) !!! So I bought them!! They're so tight, but high waisted so they hold me in so good - I look a size smaller than in leggings £13, a bargainous victory and I can go back to boycotting mean shops when I'm down to the size I want to be. Stop the double standards bizzle I annoy myself.

My trip was also 2 miles from home, so I've walked 4 miles today - another positive think I might shop more often! Window shopping in future tho, student loan still hasn't come in!

I've just finished the message to the bride, sent to the boyfriend for a proof read. I hope I don't make anything worse!!

OH another positive - I've just eaten my dinner. Sausage burger in a pitta (aka the sausage and pizza pack) YUMMY!!! Feel stuffed! Nice coke zero to wash it down

OH AND YET ANOTHER POSITIVE - I have messaged my grandma who I haven't seen since I was 5 and arranged a visit this summer. My dad was abusive so me and mum an away when I was 5 or 6. It sounds horrible but we are both better and soooo happy now so it's not even a sob story. Anyway, poor grandma, not seen her in 23 years. It wasn't her fault my dad was an a r s e hole!! But we struggled to stay in touch. Found each other on face book a few years ago but I never acted on it. The new positive me that started today thought why the hell not! Alfie's gonna take me in the summer. She lives in Scarborough. I can see my aunty too. And then me and Alfie are gonna do a tour of the north. I'm a northerner and I've never been to Leeds, Manchester, Liverpool or Newcastle as I moved away so young!! So excited what an absolute treat, I can't believe I didn't manage to do this sooner

That's all I can possibly type for now. Gonna go do some more stuff before bed. No rest for the wicked xx

 

[Queen Bizzle]

Oh Biz that's fantastic news about Cath, I'm so pleased she's well enough to travel and she's coming home to people who can support her like you.

I think the letter is a great idea, especially the part where you wouldn't have if she hadn't offered and you thought it would be for the best (which it is). Don't offer to give your place up at the wedding. It's up to her to make that call if she's really going to go there. I think your Alfie is def a keeper, not many blokes would be so supportive, he sounds just lovely.

Only one one pack all day? I can't say much because I've only had two but we must be careful to make sure we do three to get all our nutrients otherwise it leads to going off the rails, been there, done that! I'm not doing it again!

Youre doing amazingly, there is light at the end of your rough patch. Keep going x

Hey Angel!! Don't worry, I always eat all my packs in the end. I just like to save for late night munchies, or so I can combine 2 for an extravagant meal!!

Hope you are well xx

 

[Queen Bizzle]

Sausage pitta dinner nom nom xx

 

[Angel72]

Hey Biz! Fantastically positive day, it's about time you had one! Size 14 jeans too and all those miles walked too. I'm not a big shopper but do love a solo mooch on occasion.

how exciting you're going to see your Gran, bet she'll be thrilled to see you. I used to live in Scarborough then met and married a Geordie there. I go down to London every few months for a couple of days but I love living up North.

Well done on the packs. I've been a bit naughty skipping one but I just can't be bothered to get up and go downstairs to get one. Lazy huh! A big change from getting up and driving somewhere for a food fix which I've done in the past.

I hope your week ends on a really great positive swing which has started for you

 

[Queen Bizzle]

Hey Biz! Fantastically positive day, it's about time you had one! Size 14 jeans too and all those miles walked too. I'm not a big shopper but do love a solo mooch on occasion.

how exciting you're going to see your Gran, bet she'll be thrilled to see you. I used to live in Scarborough then met and married a Geordie there. I go down to London every few months for a couple of days but I love living up North.

Well done on the packs. I've been a bit naughty skipping one but I just can't be bothered to get up and go downstairs to get one. Lazy huh! A big change from getting up and driving somewhere for a food fix which I've done in the past.

I hope your week ends on a really great positive swing which has started for you

Aww I love it up north. I sadly lost my accent, but my mum is still a Yorkshire lass. I still say bath rather than barth. If that makes any sense What a small world eh. My mum said at the weekend "everyone has either lived in or been to Scarborough" - a wide statement from mumzy haha, but it is a small world we live in xx

 

[Queen Bizzle]

Awww. Just got off the phone to my boyfriend. He's read my letter to the bride and said that he thinks it's lovely, well written and that it almost got him choked up!! *****! Didn't know I had that power haha. He said he's so happy as he knows I've done it just for him really. What a sweetie. Feeling like this can be put to bed now no matter the response I get... and I can concentrate on getting my best friend back to health and getting my own physical and mental health up to a ridiculously high level. All bounces and smiles from here on out. Thanks everyone for all your advice & kind words during this hard week. I promise I'm gonna be queen of motivation and positivity from now on!! Xx

 

[Queen Bizzle]

Myfitnesspal - Wednesday (TS)

 

[Queen Bizzle]

MyFitnessPal

Thursday (TS)




All those calories burned just from walking to the shops think I need to go shopping more often! I might start going when it's quiet during the week and trying on stuff in different shops as my body is changing. I just don't know what suits me or fits me in this in between size. Then when I find something that's good on my shape, use it as inspiration to make something similar for myself I love being able to sew haha xx

 

[ExanteLesley]

Morning QB

Wow, I haven't had time to catch up on a couple of days and you sound like a different woman! Glad you've put the bride business to bed, I'm so like you, i wouldn't have been able to just leave it either. I hope you get a positive response.

So glad Cath is back today (you'll have to tell her that all these people that don't even know her are rooting for her (routing?)).

I find Primark sizes come up a bit small - so yay you for getting into a 14!

20 days of TS - you can't do it, 20 days out of your life is nothing, and it's only food after all (unfortunately it's also alcohol).

Have a great day
L

 

[Queen Bizzle]

Morning QB Wow, I haven't had time to catch up on a couple of days and you sound like a different woman! Glad you've put the bride business to bed, I'm so like you, i wouldn't have been able to just leave it either. I hope you get a positive response. So glad Cath is back today (you'll have to tell her that all these people that don't even know her are rooting for her (routing?)). I find Primark sizes come up a bit small - so yay you for getting into a 14! 20 days of TS - you can't do it, 20 days out of your life is nothing, and it's only food after all (unfortunately it's also alcohol). Have a great day L

Aww thank you Lesley. I'm trying to change my mindset and get back to my happy self need to speak to my friend about hopefully seeing cath this weekend

Glad to hear the sizes come up small that's even more inspiring! Xx

 

[Queen Bizzle]

Morning all!! Up earlyish and at the gym before interning

Well it's safe to say my scales at home are WRONG!

Weighed at home - 12.4
Weighted at gym - 12.7

So still not at my stone goal

I think it's hard to get them on a completely even surface. The highest weight at home was 12.5 so in future I'll take the highest measure and add 2lbs. Then do all official weighing here

Not letting it get me down. I'm gonna work real hard for the next 20 days, this is a tiny blip xx

 

[serialslimmer]

If your scales at home say you've lost a stone then you have. Scales may give different results but the actual weight lost is usually accurate. It just means you were slightly heavier than you thought when you started the diet! You're doing great xx

 

[Bananas]

If youve been weighing on your home scales the whole time then take that weight!!! I doubt anyone weighs the same on two different scales!!! Also did u weigh after a workout?

 

[Queen Bizzle]

Hey guys.

I wish I could just take the loss but I feel like it would be cheating.

I weighed on the gym scales at the start of the diet and and on my home scaled - both results weighed 13.4l?? It's so strange why the two now differ 4 weeks on! Maybe the batteries or my dodgey floor boards. This morning I weighed before I got to the gym on the home sclaes and then again at the gym before the workout - and was still on an empty tum, if anything I went for another wee before the gym weighing so I could've been lighter haha. It doesn't make sense but I'm just gonna keep at it. Weight isn't the be all and end all - it's how I look and I feel and how my butt now fits in to them skinny jeans xx

 

[Queen Bizzle]

OH MY GOD. My brain today. Give it a rest. It's doing the same thing as yesterday - Giving me a head ache making me think about the same thing over and over. Does anyone else find this diet doesn't help if you have mild depression / anxiety? Yesterday it was the dresses, now I'm thinking about past mistakes and regrets from YEARS ago. It's like my brain just wants SOMETHING to be negative about? JEEEZ! xx