Extra Easy Online - attempting to maintain!

[vintagepockets]

Thanks hun.

I'm feeling a bit better today but I really hate this job. I really want to just quit but I feel completely trapped in this role. I have to see it through as I don't want to annoy the uni or the agency and risk losing any future work, and I also really don't want to let anyone down. The only way I can leave this role early is if I get offered a permanent job and I don't see that happening before the contract ends mid May. I think if the OH is happy with this (as he'll be back to footing all the bills) I might just lie and say I have other work if they try to extend me and then just refuse to do anymore temping. I'm really worrying that it's starting to have a detrimental effect on my CV but then is it worse to do irrelevant jobs to not working at all!? I really don't know. I think both are as bad as each other as most organisations will just look at your last job to decide if you are suitable or not but also be concerned as to why I haven't been working. I think I'm mainly concerned that I've been relying on temping for too long and I just need to break that cycle? Either way you look at it, the situation is a rubbish one. Starting to feel sorry for myself again! Seeing one of my close friends tonight so will talk all of this through with her and see what she thinks!

 

[g_2012]

You look amazing in your pictures, well done again on your weight loss! I'm sorry to hear you are having such a tough time with work, work is such a big part of life that it effects everything when you don't enjoy it. Could you take a day off or finish early one day and dedicate that time to completing the applications for the jobs you like the look of? At least if you know you have applied for other things it may be easier to feel more positive?

i really hope you find something you enjoy soon

 

[vintagepockets]

Thanks hun. Well I've just had a phonecall about another job in the University that sounds a lot more relevant to the type of area I'd like to work in. It's part time which isn't a problem as then I'd have the time to look for permanent work. I just hate letting people down so if they decide they want me and I decide I want to take it I've got to p**s off the current agency and put the PA (who is lovely) in the position of finding and training a new temp! Argh I hate getting into these situations! The sooner I'd know about this role the better tbh as then I could train a new temp with the little I've learnt before I would leave at the end of the week. It may be that they don't even want me in which case this is all irrelevant but I feel another sleepless night coming on.

 

[Applekath]

I've just read everything but am at work. Will reply later ;-)

Love the clothes

 

[Rachel1903]

Thanks hun.

I'm feeling a bit better today but I really hate this job. I really want to just quit but I feel completely trapped in this role. I have to see it through as I don't want to annoy the uni or the agency and risk losing any future work, and I also really don't want to let anyone down. The only way I can leave this role early is if I get offered a permanent job and I don't see that happening before the contract ends mid May. I think if the OH is happy with this (as he'll be back to footing all the bills) I might just lie and say I have other work if they try to extend me and then just refuse to do anymore temping. I'm really worrying that it's starting to have a detrimental effect on my CV but then is it worse to do irrelevant jobs to not working at all!? I really don't know. I think both are as bad as each other as most organisations will just look at your last job to decide if you are suitable or not but also be concerned as to why I haven't been working. I think I'm mainly concerned that I've been relying on temping for too long and I just need to break that cycle? Either way you look at it, the situation is a rubbish one. Starting to feel sorry for myself again! Seeing one of my close friends tonight so will talk all of this through with her and see what she thinks!

Hey. I'm glad you are feeling better. Just keep thinking positively, one day you'll be in the job you want! I can't see why anyone would look at you as having had too many jobs and this is something you can always explain in your covering letter when applying for new ones. It's better to be in work than out of it! I would def go for the other job if it's more suited to you, you have to put yourself first! x

 

[Applekath]

Hey vp. I'm home now you will get there with your career. It really depends on your work/life balance as to what combination will get you a bit more happy of that makes sense.

You seem from what I read quite career driven or at least want responsibility and job satisfaction. I would just keep your eyes and ears open for anything that is more what you would like to do. In the mean time make the best of your current role knowing damn well it's only temporary. Make it your own and sod the other unhelpful person. Go over their head if needs be to your tasks done and done well. Expand your contacts and I hate this word but its true - network when possible.

I'm not career driven at all but my boss has seen things in me and has thrown stuff at me I need to take ownership for and again another corporate phrase - have 'courageous conversations ' ;-)

You have lost weight, you look fab, you have a wonderful new home, you're engaged and planning a wedding. Lots of good stuff to outweigh the bad

 

[vintagepockets]

I know you're completely right but I need this for myself if that makes sense!? The house is technically jacks and I want to contribute to my own wedding and feel financially independent or at least feel like im making a financial contribution to the home and our lives. Jack has always been the bread winner and probably always will be which I'm fine with. But I come from a background where we couldn't afford a lot so I understand the value of money and have been working since I was old enough to get a paper round. I'm quite proud in that way.

I'm so so happy and fortunate with my home life but I need to feel like I'm achieving at work too. I am an achiever and always have been so I like to know that I'm doing a good job and utilising my skills and abilities. I feel wasted in a lot of the jobs I've done which I hope doesn't sound egotistical!

Thanks for the advice hun. I think one of my main issues with this job is that there isn't much opportunity for networking as I'm working mainly with physics professors and academics. Picture the big bang theory but not funny lol! I was really hoping to be able to meet people and make an impression but there's not the chance to do that here. It doesn't help that I'm completely isolated as I'm in an office on my own.

I know things will come right I just feel so directionless and I hate it.

 

[g_2012]

Thanks hun. Well I've just had a phonecall about another job in the University that sounds a lot more relevant to the type of area I'd like to work in. It's part time which isn't a problem as then I'd have the time to look for permanent work. I just hate letting people down so if they decide they want me and I decide I want to take it I've got to p**s off the current agency and put the PA (who is lovely) in the position of finding and training a new temp! Argh I hate getting into these situations! The sooner I'd know about this role the better tbh as then I could train a new temp with the little I've learnt before I would leave at the end of the week. It may be that they don't even want me in which case this is all irrelevant but I feel another sleepless night coming on.

I hope you hear soon about the job, sounds perfect as like you say it will give you chance to find something else, or you never know, you may really enjoy the part time job and it may lead on to other things in the uni I know how awful it feels to be so uncertain about things, try and keep positive hun, things will work out. I hope they get back to you soon!

 

[Applekath]

Awww I do feel for you. Hmmm blazinga it is not then ;-) sorry couldn't resist.

Something WILL come along that you will enjoy and feel valued for. Slightly different but last year I was bullied badly and hated going to work. I got a new boss and things changed. There is always light at the end of the tunnel.

I fully understand the money thing too. I've worked from age 12 and never had anything handed to me. I've found it hard that james' dad 'makes things happen' and that james earns more than me etc. I bought my flat on my own and now it's all being sold. I know it's a means to an end but it was mine and I fought hard to buy it on my own.

Keep treading the water, you will be swimming again soon ;-) x

 

[bellehelen]

Hi H and welcome. Thanks hun!

No we've relocated to Manchester due to OHs work and the need to get settled but I think we'll end up moving back to cheltenham in the future as both our families are there and I do love it still.

You're right about the restaurants! Problem is there's even more in Manchester and they're all brand new to me! I do love to eat out. It's actually one of favourite things to do!

Have you got a diary? Xx

No. I think I should start one though! I suppose its a way of not hiding anything... At the moment I'm STS every week. Can't seem to get back into the diet. I'm doing all the meals right etc, its just the alcohol I've got to cut out and my sudden craving for haribos!

 

[newbee89]

I know I am a bit stinky now lol. Luckily the OH ate the same so we can stink together!
Although I probably only used 1 large garlic - not quite 40 cloves.

Food Diary for the weekend. Not counting syns but I'll make a note anyway.

(Friday night involved a bottle of red as well as what I previously posted)

Saturday...

Breakfast - 2 ww sausages, baked beans, frylight egg, frylight tinned potatoes

Lunch - lf supernoodles w/ babybel light

Dinner - SW chipotle burger w/ wholemeal roll, SW chips, ketchup & el mayo

Snacks - wheat crunchies, yoomoo frozen yoghurt, 4 pieces mint aero

1 glass of red wine
Tea w/ skimmed milk
Sparkling water
sf ribena
Chamomile tea

Sunday...

Breakfast - porridge made w/ water with splash of skimmed milk & raspberry jam, banana

Lunch (out) - eat duck gyoza soup

Dinner - hairy bikers "chicken w/ 40 cloves of garlic" w/ colcannon & tarragon sauce

Snacks - m&s honey bbq wholgrain snacks, fruit scone w/ clotted cream & jam, 6 pieces milka daim (wow this is yummy!)

1.5 glasses white wine
4 tea w/ skimmed milk
Herbal tea
Sparkling water

Love those m&s wholegrain snacks!

 

[vintagepockets]

Right enough of the moping and back to everyone's favourite subject... food! I've not really been synning this week but I'll try to recount how the week has looked so far.

Monday...

Breakfast - weetabix (HEXb) w/ skimmed milk (HEXa) & banana

Lunch - lf supernoodles w/ 1 babybel light (HEXa)

Dinner - Chicken, chorizo, king prawn paella (5 syns for chorizo)

Snacks - wotsits (6 syns), fridge raiders (1 syn), grapes, apple

Drinks - 1 lrg white wine (8 syns)

Total = 20


Tuesday...

Breakfast - magic porridge (HEXb) w/ banana, strawberries, blueberries

Lunch - sainsburys tinned spicy tomato pasta w/ rf cheddar (HEXa) & 4 olives (1 syn)

Dinner - Vegetable egg fried rice (broccoli, cabbage, spring onions, soya beans, carrot, babycorn, mushrooms) w/ chicken curry made w/ mayflower (shallots, peas) (6 syns)

Snacks - mango, danio 0% (1.5 syns), 5 pieces galaxy (5 syns), mini jammie dodgers (4.5 syns), 4 aero (4 syns)

Total = 22


Wednesday...

Breakfast - magic porridge (HEXb) w/ banana, strawberries, blueberries

Lunch - leftover veg egg fried rice w/ 2 syns of mayflower curry sauce

Dinner (at a friends) - risotto made w/ stock, risotto rice, red onion, peas, poached smoked haddock, fried pancetta, 1 tsp mascarpone (HEXa) (8 syns for oil & pancetta?)

Snacks - 2 mini choc balls, 1 mini choc egg, 2 small short bread (7 syns?)

Total = 17


I don't think I've missed anything out and writing it out it hasn't actually been that bad.

 

[vintagepockets]

Ooh and I treated myself to the Hairy Dieters Cookbook as I've seen so many yummy sounding recipes being posted from there. Can't wait for it to arrive!

 

[Applekath]

I've got that its fab along with three of their non doer books ;-)

 

[newbee89]

Just catching up with your diary here love and I really feel for you at the moment. I know you don't want to wallow in sadness but it's important to allow yourself to feel how you feel.

I can totally understand why you feel as you do. I'm a bit like you in terms of wanting to make the most of myself and I want to achieve things. I always wanted to be a teacher so I done my BA Degree, then I done an MA and decided I was done with college and was ready to move in with OH. I was, and we did, and it was a great decision. Then I worked for a few months and I realised that so much of life is about work. Mid-week for me is work/eat/sleep. I had an epiphany and realised I made a mistake by not going for what I wanted to do! I always wanted tobe a teacher but I just couldn't wait to have my own place and just work and have a nice life. Some perspective soon made me realise that I have to follow my dreams! So I am. I'm doing the course (provided I am offered a place) and I'm not allowing myself to sink in to negativity about the price or the sacrifices that will need to be made etc. Life is so short and we have to do what makes us happy!!

Where I'm working now ended up just sort of happening by fluke. The weird thing is that the company is on the same road that I grew up in till I was 4. I didn't even know that when I applied. This job has lead me to great things in unexpected ways, and I never would have guessed them at the start. It all just sort of happened!

Then I left for my 'dream' job as a dram teacher and it didn't work out and here I am now back in the college and on more money. It is so
Weird how it all happned. My point is that you just never really know what's going to happen and I think that once you are proactively looking and have a positive mental attitude it WILL work out. I promise you it will! The emotions you are feeling just furthermore emphasise to me that you will go places. A cliche I know, but I really feel that.

I feel something good is heading your way! I can't wait to see how things pan out for you

 

[vintagepockets]

Thanks hun that's so lovely. I know things will happen soon I think I just get panicked because I'm not sure what I'm even looking to do. I need some direction and a goal to be aiming for. I'll get there in the end (fingers crossed)!

Well done on making the decision to go back and study. Are you planning to do a PGCE? Good luck with your application xxx

 

[vintagepockets]

Feeling nervous about going in today. Got a feeling I'm not going to get this other temp job but also nervous if I do as then I've got to quit this one and p**s some people off! Hopefully I'll find out either way this morning.

 

[vintagepockets]

No. I think I should start one though! I suppose its a way of not hiding anything... At the moment I'm STS every week. Can't seem to get back into the diet. I'm doing all the meals right etc, its just the alcohol I've got to cut out and my sudden craving for haribos!

Yeah you definitely should and you're completely right in that it forces you to be accountable for everything you eat and drink. Unfortunately alcohol is a big one to cut out which I found really hard to begin with as I love my wine but I don't even miss it that much anymore. I've said it before but without this food diary I don't think I would of stuck to plan and lost the weight.

Let me know what the link is if you set one up xx

 

[vintagepockets]

Right I think I've found one detrimental flaw with losing weight that I thought I'd got away with... I think my boobs have shrunk! Now considering I was a 36A to begin with so this is not a good thing lol!

 

[Applekath]

Uh oh lol. At least you can go bra less in slinky dresses ;-)