Flowers Diary

[ayshaahmad]

Oooh, True Blood is awsome. I may have piratebay'd it, so I'm a season ahead of the UK aswell, which sucks *no vamp pun intended haha*

Daemon in the vampire diaries is LUSH!!!! And I've not seen the british Being Human, I couldnt find it to *ahem* download *ahem* so I got seaso 1 of the us version, which I quite liked.

Must actually go to hmv and just buy the box set!

And not sure on the blood thing, but my mouth feels like its needing a good scrub with a wire brush and some detol! lol!

Not seen the us version I may have a look to see if I can find it

 

[_Flower_]

Ok I usually think of myself as quite knowledgable with the net, i found both sites but I can't for the life of me actually find a way to watch the episodes. What program have you downloaded to watch them?

 

[ayshaahmad]

I don't download them I just stream them, if u click on the episode u want to watch loads of links will come up I usually watch on megavideo or novamov although megavideo stops after 75 mins, takes a while to figure it out, if I am a complete klutz with the net and can do it lol u sure will

 

[Krissykat]

Couch tuner can be abit sneaky, when you click a link to the episode it will come up with a page with some writing at the top and a video box underneath, don't click on that, read the writing at the top and it will say 'watch here' or something similar, click that link and it will take you to another page.


Oh and I get that bloody taste too!

 

[_Flower_]

Sorted thanks girls, no what i'll be doing on my next day off.

Hubby is cooking chicken nuggets and Its KILLING me

 

[ayshaahmad]

Sorted thanks girls, no what i'll be doing on my next day off.

Hubby is cooking chicken nuggets and Its KILLING me

Mmm I love chicken nuggets, mines eating maltesers and my son keeps trying to put them in my mouth so off to sort washing out lol

 

[_Flower_]

Don't think I can do this anymore I'm so hungry today and nothing is taking my mind of it at all.

 

[spangles]

refocus. you must be in keto by now - so this is just mourning for food - your brain-hunger, as i believe the lighter lifers call it.

before you do something you might regret, take yourself through all the reasons you want to lose weight, and why you chose this diet in particular. It would be best to write them down as then you won't skip over the details, so why not do it here.

If at the end of all that, and being back in touch with your motivations, you don't think CD is the way forward, then you'll probably be making the right choice, but i think you'll kick yourself if you don't really connect with your original feelings first.

 

[ClaireCat]

Aw hunni, what spangles said.

Make some tea, or get some water in you to fill yourself up. Or have a nap, naps are good

*hugs*

 

[ayshaahmad]

You can do it, you are doing so well! You will regret it if you don't give it your all!! Water water and water and keep busy xx chin up xxx

 

[Lily]

Weekends can be tough, but you can do this!

Spangles is right - write it all down, okay? And remember, you've done other diets but they weren't working for you cos you needed to take food out of the equation. Focus on that, okay? Every hour that you can get through will make it easier, promise.

Hugs :bighug:

 

[Krissykat]

You can do this luvvy. You don't need food, food is just fuel, nothing more remember that. It won't solve your problems or make you feel any better, and afterwards all you will only feel guilt and regret. Focus on how good seeing your weight going down, your body changing, getting fitter and your confidence growing. That's what will make you happy in the end, not food xxx

 

[Lily]

LOL, think I just had a bit of a revelation and thought it might help you - so here it is.

It's Day 4 for me and I'm feeling very hard done by at the moment. OH suggested having some wine earlier (OH had head bitten off, naturally. )

Anyway... sometimes it's quite interesting to have a scroll through the other forums here on Minimins. And the thing that just struck me, as I was reading the SW forum, was that folks post on there and say they want to throw the towel in. Now when you're on CD, you find yourself thinking, "What?? But you could have something to eat if you wanted to! Go and have a banana and follow it up with a jacket potato and beans!"

But see, they don't want to - because that's diet food. To us, when we're feeling blue on Cambridge, it sounds like heaven. And my revelation is, when we on Cambridge feel like throwing in the towel, what we're really doing is rebelling against the diet. Everybody on a diet, no matter what they can eat, has moments where they want to rebel against the diet. It's a completely irrational process - and if you can hang in there, the feeling goes away and you get back to remembering why you're on the diet in the first place.

Because we want to be slim and gorgeous this coming summer, right?

Hope you're feeling better than you were earlier, petal x x x

 

[_Flower_]

After I posted here I had a long conversation with the husband, he helped me sort out my confusing mess of a brain, he's good at that.
I decided I don't want to diet this way, Its really not for me but i'm very glad I gave it a go again.
Thank you for all your help and support x

 

[scooterchick]

That's a shame Flower, you really were at the hardest point of the diet, surviving til day 5 makes for plain sailing after that. I'm going to speak candidly and I apologise in advance if I upset you.

This diet really is last chance saloon. Most people who are on cambridge are here because nothing else has worked. If you really want to lose weight you have to tough out those first few days because there's nothing else! I've resigned myself to the fact that if I can't do this then I may as well consign myself to a life of fatness, of not being able to do up my shoes laces, or my legs rubbing together, of feeling like a whale when I try and turn over at night, of diabetes, of high blood pressure and more than likely premature death when my heart gives in. I don't want that life, and I want to be here to watch my children grow up and have children of their own.

After cambridge it's weight loss surgery, are you ready for that? Lily's right, you're feeling hard done by, you're rebelling but this diet does work and it works fast! But if you're not in the right frame of mind then so be it, I wish you all the luck and I hope you come back very soon, you have so much to gain by getting the weight off, don't delay cos you feel sorry for yourself!

Much love
Anna xx

 

[shrinkingalice]

i hope you are doing what you want this time, not what anyone else has told you to do or what you think you should do. You are an amazing woman and you deserve happiness and i hope you can get it, however you choose too xxxx

 

[Lily]

After I posted here I had a long conversation with the husband, he helped me sort out my confusing mess of a brain, he's good at that.
I decided I don't want to diet this way, Its really not for me but i'm very glad I gave it a go again.
Thank you for all your help and support x

Darling, it's so so hard when you've got a lot of weight to lose to keep going, to believe that anything's ever going to work. But, putting my cards on the table (Anna's been brave enough to post what she thinks, so I'll be brave too and hope you aren't too angry with me ), losing 12 or 13 stones on a conventional diet is going to take a long time. A long time of consistently sticking to a diet plan, not cheating on that plan and resisting the urge to binge. Frankly, we're talking at least a couple of years. It can be done - but whatever you do, you're going to have to commit to it, at least 95% of the time.

And you've already tried WW and SW. The decision you make now is going to be a crucial one - but whatever you choose, please, please, decide that you're going to follow through with it, to stick it out for at least 6 months.

You say your husband's good at helping you sort out your brain - well, you posted the other day that he sat and scoffed chicken nuggets and chips in front of you. In no shape or form was that helpful of him - and it tells me that he didn't believe that Cambridge would work for you. Probably not surprising that you didn't believe it either.

If you need to rely on your husband's support - and it sounds like you do - whatever diet you do now needs to be something he will support you in doing for a long time. That he'll eat the same sort of meals (so you don't have to cook yourself separate 'diet food'). That he'll promise you that instead of trying to 'cheer you up with food', he'll help you find ways of dealing with things that don't involve food.

Alternatively, and maybe especially if you don't think he's going to be able to give you that kind of support, you could climb back aboard the Cambridge wagon and keep going. Because 6 months from now, you could easily be 14-15 stones. Take it from someone who weighs about that now - that doesn't feel too bad, compared to how I felt at my heaviest. You'll be able to buy clothes from ordinary shops instead of having to go to places like Evans.

Whatever you choose, sweetie - you need to get it through your OH's skull that he needs to support you 100% of the way. But in the end, the only person who can do this for you is, well, you. :hug99:

Big big big hugs, hunni. We're all here for you x x x

 

[ayshaahmad]

Everyone else has basically said it already!! I think we all wanted to give up at first! Maybe give it a little more time and the brilliant results will keep u motivated to carry on!! Whatever u decide gd luck u can do it!!!

 

[ClaireCat]

Aw hunni, you were just getting over the worst bit of the diet and into the easy side.

I wanted to throw in the towel at the end of day one, then day two, then day 3.... But, I know this, as Anna has already said, is a last chance saloon.

I cant cope with WW and SW etc because of the constant feeling of hunger. And losing 1lb a week and constantly being hungry means I'd have to live like that for a year and a half, and I just couldnt do it. It would end up being a complete way of life for me because I know I'd cheat every week, or every other week, and I watch my collegues do it every day. They've been doing these diets since I started 2 years ago and they're all exactly the same weight, give or take 5lbs.

I absolutely loved atkins, but again, it wasnt working for me. My problem with food is that I want to eat til I feel sick, and on atkins, I could tell myself that was ok because my carb intake was low enough. But obv my calories were not, so I'd get stuck and not lose more than about 14-16lbs max over about 6 months.

What has your husband suggested? I love my other half to bits, and he always means well, but he's never had a problem with food and can eat what he likes with no consequence whatsoever, so as much as I love him, I'd never listen to his dieting advice.

 

[spangles]

The others have said a lot of what needed to be said.

Ultimately, of course you do have a choice - you can choose to stay this big, you can choose a referral for surgery, you can choose WW or SW, you can choose to have another go at cambridge... you can make any of those choices but the ONLY person making those choices should be you, because in a very real and fairly urgent sense, this is your life. The choices you make about this will have an effect on the quality and length of your life.

I have to confess my heart sank when you said you'd decided not to continue after a discussion with your partner. Absolutely, his opinion should be heard - because he cares about you - but only as part of a range of evidence upon which you would ultimately make your decision. CD is tough on our partners, friends and family. It limits their social life, it has an effect on what they eat themselves, they have to be there when we're moping around - feeling hard done by and tearful because we can't have pizza and cake. Men sterotypically have a desire to try and 'solve' our problems in a short-term, impactful way. You're sad about missing food? Have the food and stop being sad. Problem solved.

But you know more about it than he does. You know about the other, background sadness that comes from being very big and the guilt and self-hatred that comes from making bad food choices. These are things we tend not to share with our partners, not least because of how often we'd have to say them to give the full picture. You also know - or I imagine you do - that these feelings of deprivation will mostly get better; that every single one of us misses food and is sad about it; that this diet works for people who have failed over and over again on other diets. You know it's medically sound and the fastest way there is to lose the weight you want to lose. You are the one holding all that information. Not him.

Perhaps there's something we don't know. Perhaps there's some reason other diets didn't work in the past that will be different this time (other than: 'i'll be more committed'; 'i'll try harder'; 'i'll do more exercise' - we all know that resolve alone is not what changes things). But there might be something new this time. We (on minimins) don't have all the answers either, and we shouldn't be deciding with you, any more than your partner. It is YOUR life. What we do have, is first hand experience, and a perspective that only comes from having walked a mile in your shoes, and then a few miles more in our own.

Whatever choice you make, there will be sadnesses. Sadness of sacrifice, or sadness that comes from staying big / getting bigger. Be realistic, and go into it with your eyes wide open. Understand the motivations of anyone giving you advice (we all have them), and then make your decision on your own. Good luck.