From here to inskinnity! My mission to lose 13.5 stone!

Morning Bev, have a brilliant day xxx

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Morning Bevvy, you're doing so well, you must be so proud!

Well done for having the confidence to show your arms off, and to sit in a chair that used to dig into your thighs is amazing! It's the little things that sometimes matter the most.

You love booking your holidays don't you, at least you'll have something else to look forward to :)

Have a great day xxx
 
Thanks guys!

The holidays are a big thing for me, travelling is one of my favourite things in the whole world. I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't buy loads of expensive clothes, so it's my one major luxury. Its crazy but from being 21-27 I didn't actually go abroad at all because of my weight. I was so ashamed of my size and worried that I'd need an extender belt on the plane that I didn't even bother. I realise more than ever how much travel means to me and I'm loving the freedom of having it back in my life. It's just scary that I could let such an important part of my life go like that for 6 whole years because of my weight problem. Anyway I'm making up for lost time now at least!

Wedding/honeymoon stuff

Speaking of travel we finally decided on the honeymoon. Being as the wedding in in Prague itself we've decided to stay in Europe, going to have 5 nights in Prague, 4 nights in Vienna, 4 nights in Budapest and then fly to Rome for the last 5 nights. It should be amazing and so romantic going on the little trains from city to city. We can't book it until October when the date of the wedding is all confirmed for definite (the summer dates are available to book then, we should be first in the queue though) but I can't bleedin' wait! Its taken ages to decide upon but it makes sense to explore Europe being as we're already on the continent for the wedding, plus the Maldives and Caribbean are in rainy/hurricane season then.

The best bit is I'm going to organise it all myself, book the flights, find the hotels, arrange the trains and trips. I love planning and stuff so it'll be really fun for me (I know I'm a freak!) and we'll save an absolute fortune compared to booking through a travel agent.

Speaking of planning - target time!

I've decided to set myself a few more goals to work towards. If I want to get to target for the wedding I really need to push myself over the summer months when I've got lots of free time to hit the gym etc. I worked out that if I lose 7lbs a month I should get to target a couple of months before the wedding, but with uni and holidays etc in that time I know it might not be possible every month to achieve that figure. Just realised how much of an analytical freak this makes me look, but I NEED to be at target for the wedding, I want to look amazing in that wedding dress. Not getting to target by next Aug just isn't an option. So yeah, this summer I really want to boost my losses as much as possible by really hitting the exercise and doing some challenges. If I can get 'ahead' over the summer then it won't matter so much if I have a few lower loss months, I know the closer I get to target the harder it'll be go get good numbers, so I really need to push myself now while I've got the time. Well, from June 5th when I have the time after the exam!

Anyway my mini goals:
- Lose 8st by Ireland/uni (sept) - be in the 16's
- Lose 10st by Christmas - be in the 14's
- Lose 11st by Bruges (Feb) - be in the 13's

Seems crazy when I'm setting targets like that in the double figures, but only 11lbs now until I'm into the century club - JUST 11lbs!! :eek:

Star week - grr!

Star week came to town last night, about a week early too! Grr! Of course that might be a good thing for my next WI though as normally I bloat up beforehand, so I might have had an even better loss yesterday if it wasn't for that. As usual I'm in pain and feeling crabby, for the first few days I really have to force myself to eat or I'd literally not eat anything and survive on chocolate (like I used to!). So yeah, fairly light red day today, but I'm determined to eat the yummy tea Chris will be making when he gets home.

Monday 19th May - Red
Breakfast - muller
Lunch - 2 x weetabix (hexb) with milk (hexa) and banana
Snack - Grapes
Tea - Hunters chicken (hexa + 2 syns) with roasted med veg - 2 syns
Total - 2 syns

I'm off work until Wed so been trying to catch up on my revision, managed to get quite a bit done so far today so hopefully my motivation will continue! It'll be so much better next year when I can go to the uni library and do it away from distractions rather than my front room. Anyway I'm off now to go and do some more, when I give myself a little break later I'll try and have a diary catch up!

Hope you all have a lovely Monday! xxx
 
Hi Bev!

First of all mega well done on your holiday loss! That's amazing! It's a shame your holiday wasn't what you'd have hoped but you can put it down to experience.

Your wedding planning sounds so exciting! I think it's good decision to stay in Europe, there are so many amazing places to see and it's easy to forget how lucky we are to have it on our doorsteps!

I'm sure you'll be at target by August next year, even with Uni and stuff. You have got a goal and are so focused that it's definitely going to happen. You don't sound neurotic though. It's good to break it down and try and have aims etc. it makes it all more manageable.

You're doing great, Bev!x
 
Hi Bev,

Love the idea of your honeymoon..so charming and romantic! I love planning myself and think I'm a bit of a control freak! but I think it makes the whole thing so much more personal and saves money. Know what you mean about fitting in plane seats etc, I love to travel but for weight reasons haven't been abroad for a good couple of years now, can still remember the extender belt and discomfort on the plane back from Cyprus in 2009 AAAAH :sigh: I love to travel also and haven't done anywhere near enough of it, can't wait to feel confident enough to fully enjoy all that the world has to offer without all the extra body mass!! Your new goals sound good to me, and I'm sure you will achieve them with your determination! Looking forward to being where you are some time soon, aiming to get to the 21's but it has eluded me this week due to time of the month I think, still maybe next week. The main thing is I am getting there slowly but surely, onwards and downwards xx
 
Sophie - Thanks hun, I was over the moon yesterday, even more so now I know I was about to start * week! :) Definitely agree about Europe, it often gets overlooked for more exotic locations but it's an amazing place and as far as my travels of it go, I've only scratched the surface.

Glad I don't come across as neurotic, I'm a bit of a planning freak sometimes and like to know exactly where I am etc. I don't like setting myself deadlines when it comes to my weight loss. I think for the most part it comes off at its own pace so long as I'm sticking to plan, but with the wedding only 14 months away I'm seriously starting to wonder if I'll be where I want to be for then. In theory I can get to 12 stone by then, but what if I want to go lower? What if it slows down nearer target? Arggghhh! I need to stop stressing like bridezilla! :D

Hope you're well too hun, coming to check your diary in a minute and see how things are going with you! xxx

Jemima - Lol, my spell check just tried to change your name to Jeremiah!

It's so horrible travelling when you're bigger isn't it? I just couldn't face the embarrassment of needing the extender or having to cope with spilling over into the next seat! It was bad enough when I went to Lanzarote last October, I'd lost 2.5 stone by then but I was still wedged in like a sardine and the belt only just fastened! It's really sad though that we've put off doing something we enjoy because of our weight for so long, I'm sure you'll be feeling loads better soon as you can get back into your travelling and planning your trips. You sound like me and don't see the point in wasting money on package deals when its much cheaper and more fun to organise yourself.

Good luck in getting into the 21's next week, I'm sure it'll happen next weigh in. Like we both know its a long process, especially when you start over 20st, but hand on heart it really has flown by for me when I look back. It's just not getting distracted by the big picture that I find hard sometimes, even now when I'm halfway it still seems like a hell of a long way to go! xxx

-----

Off to catch up on some diaries now, study is finished for the day! Yey!
 
Love the sound of your honeymoon! I've always wanted to inter-rail around Europe but DF isn't quite so keen!

I think your aim of getting to target in time for August is very doable. As you said, it's an average of 7lb a month, that's about 2lb a week and you've probably bee averaging that since you started with SW.
 
Hi Bev,

I've been a lurker on your diary for a while but just had to post to say congratulations on getting half way to target. You are such an inspiration. You must feel immensely proud of all the hard work and effort you have put in but also having lost it in a steady way and while still enjoying yourself!

Your wedding and honeymoon sound amazing and I know you will be at target and looking stunning in your wedding dress as you already look fab now!

All the best on your journey to target!

Xx
 
Jemima - Lol, my spell check just tried to change your name to Jeremiah!

It's so horrible travelling when you're bigger isn't it? I just couldn't face the embarrassment of needing the extender or having to cope with spilling over into the next seat! It was bad enough when I went to Lanzarote last October, I'd lost 2.5 stone by then but I was still wedged in like a sardine and the belt only just fastened! It's really sad though that we've put off doing something we enjoy because of our weight for so long, I'm sure you'll be feeling loads better soon as you can get back into your travelling and planning your trips. You sound like me and don't see the point in wasting money on package deals when its much cheaper and more fun to organise yourself.

Good luck in getting into the 21's next week, I'm sure it'll happen next weigh in. Like we both know its a long process, especially when you start over 20st, but hand on heart it really has flown by for me when I look back. It's just not getting distracted by the big picture that I find hard sometimes, even now when I'm halfway it still seems like a hell of a long way to go! xxx

-----

Off to catch up on some diaries now, study is finished for the day! Yey![/QUOTE]

Funny the things spell checkers come up with! Yeah I am really looking forward to planning holidays in the future when I'm MUCH smaller and know for sure I won't need the extender belt!! I think your right about it being a long process, especially when you start over 20st as we did, and for me I think sometimes it makes me more impatient now that I am really doing it, cos I want it to happen quicker as I have so much to lose, but then my sensible side knows that it will take as long as it takes! Feeling so hungry this morning as we've had 3 nights of really disturbed sleep(my dog is ill) and I then wake up with a headache and feeling extra hungry AAAAAGH, so hope I can make the 21's soon as I'm so close now but we'll see what happens next week. Hope your having a good day xxx
 
Hey! Well done on your 1lb off that is awesome especially after your holiday :)

How exciting planning your wedding and honeymoon yourself, and yes SO romantic getting trains from A-B that will be so fun! Very exciting to think of all the fun times travelling that you will have ahead.

Your targets sound great and very achievable, just think when you get your student radiographer uniform it is going to be an amazing feeling to get the smaller size :D

Have a good day X
 
Ruby - Yeah I've looked at the inter-railing thing too, would definitely like to do that another year, when I had a look at the prices for this trip though its cheaper to just book 2 first class tickets for both rail trips rather than get a pass. I'm lucky that Chris is on the same page as me when it comes to the honeymoon, we don't always agree on places we'd like to go but after looking at sooo many different options for the honeymoon this was both our first choice in the end.

I'm glad it seems achievable to other people too, I mean like you say it's basically 2lbs a week with a little margin of error for smaller losses now and again. It'll all depend on whether my losses slow down as I get closer to goal. I've never been one of the mega losers so hopefully things will just stay nice and steadily coming off. Makes buying a wedding dress tough though when I don't know what size I'll be! :rolleyes: xxx

CharleyBar - Aww thanks hun for the kind words, looking at your stats you're doing amazing too! I'm over moon to be halfway at last, if anything I don't think it's properly sunk in yet! I'm definitely enjoying myself more as I get closer to target, the first 1/4 of my weight loss was so tough as I couldn't really see any difference, at least this last 50% will be really noticeable.

I'm glad I've lost it all slow and steady while still enjoying treats, in the past when I tried to lose weight I'd adopt one of those crazy all or nothing approaches where I barely ate and it was no fun at all being constantly starving. Generally I'm no good at moderation, it's all or nothing, but SW has really changed my diet to a more 'normal' level if you know what I mean. I don't feel like a slave to a diet and at the same time I know I'm making healthy choices that are good for my body. I honestly love SW! :) xxx

Jemima - Oh man I'm sooooo impatient still! I feel like I've been doing this process for so long now that I should be skinny already, and the fact I'm not makes me want it to hurry the hell up! I even had a ridiculous stress the other week because I was scared of bumping into people who I haven't seen in a while who know through FB etc how much I've lost, because I thought I'd disappoint their expectations. I mean, when you hear someone's lost 6st you assume they are gonna be waltzing around in size 10 dresses, not 16's and 18's! :rolleyes: I know its such a silly thing to stress about but its even putting me off going to my friends wedding reception, I need to kick myself up the ass and make myself go!

Sorry anyway for going off on a tangent, its so nice though to speak to someone else who knows what its like to start in the 20's. I might not be there now, but I can completely sympathise with your impatience to get out of those numbers. It's a pity that impatience hasn't left me yet, I'm still just as desperate to get into the 17's!

Hope your dog feels better soon and you manage to get a bit better sleep tonight. You must be shattered which never helps things! I hate being hungry, just make sure you've got loads of super free to snack on throughout the day. xxx

Clareel - Thanks hun, bet you're still on cloud 9 today after handing all your finals in! I hadn't even thought about the radiography uniform, eeek! Wonder what clothes size I'll be for September?! :eek: Hope they aren't too tight fitting, I really don't want to keep re-ordering them every few months, lol.

Have a lovely day petal xxx

------------

Final day off work for revision, then I'm back at work Wed - Sat from 9-1. It's probably the best shift in the world though so don't worry I'm not gonna be complaining, if anything at least it'll get me away from the revision.

My revision break is about to end now so I'll quickly update my foodage for the day. Have a good one guys!

Tuesday 20th May - Red
Breakfast - 2 x weetabix with banana and milk - hexb, hexa
Lunch - Ham salad with beetroot, tomato, onion, cucumber, lettuce, coleslaw (3 syns), jacket potato (hexb), cheese (hexa) and dressing - 6 syns
Snack - muller
Tea - Home made veggie soup
Total - 6 syns
 
Hey Bev :wavey:, just caught up on your diary hun, it moves real fast :p. So happy on the news of your honeymoon in Europe, sounds like such an exciting trip, I'm sure its gonna be amazing ! I love all your pics with your OH on IG, you make such a lovely couple :):). I know this year is going to be so important for you in terms of your weightloss journey, You really have thought things through and broke them down into mini goals which I think is perfect. I know you will achieve all of them and race to target ! I think the summer months will be fab for the gym and C25K and you will be free from your studies by then. You can use that period to try and get some big numbers to give you a head start, but how you plan it out is entirely up to you, it should all be based around what you are comfortable with. I think sometimes we can get quite focused on achieving a number and not enjoying the journey along the way, so its good to balance it out with a treat night or a nice fakeaway meal in the week. Your a pro at the plan anyway, I know I don't need to tell u all this :D. I know you are raring to go and can't wait for your studies to finish. Hope these next few weeks fly by and then you can enjoy your gym sessions and the lovely summer weather :p. Hope to catch u soon. Have a lovely week hun :hug99:.

Kay xx
 
Hi Bev,

Totally with you on the impatience, starting over 20 makes you want it to hurry up all the more, how amazing it would be to only have a couple of stone to lose!! and my losses have been so small the last few weeks I'm even more impatient AAAGH! I completely understand where you are coming from about seeing people who know you are losing weight(I'm not there yet) but TRUST ME YOU HAVE NOTHING to worry about, looking at your before and afters you are looking SO SO much smaller and really fantastic, with you height I think you look even smaller...they will be blown away!! You go to that wedding reception looking stunning and be proud proud proud!!! Managed to sleep a bit better last night as the dog had some new medicine so wasn't couging all night - now just waiting for test results and hoping it's nothing awful. It must be so exciting planning your wedding and honeymoon, I can remember planning mine..i had a huge box full of mood boards, clippings and info. and was forever buying magazines etc I loved it, it was doing it for 2 years but really enjoyed the process, especially colour schemes, flowers etc!! I bet you will make a truly beautiful bride, I didn't lose my weight for my wedding and I always regretted that, I'm so happy you are xxx
 
Hi Bev

Just catching up!

I know exactly how you used to feel about flying and seatbelts etc. I am exactly the same and I really panic in the lead up to a flight that it won't go round me. It has always "just" done up so I have never had to ask for an extension!

Another holiday??!! How lovely. We have had to put any weekend breaks on hold for the next year to pay for our wedding - mind you, we do have our cruise in December, which was booked (and not quite paid for!) before the engagement.

Anyway, I love your plans for your milestones and I am sure you will get there because you are really focussed! I can't give myself targets because I end up putting too much pressure on myself and failing, so I am sticking to the day to day hope that I am eating healthy and losing weight slowly and hopefully will get where I want to be eventually!

Do you have an idea of wedding dress yet?

I am totally getting into the swing of the wedding now, I have been googling ways to make my own favours and place names and all sorts...its very exciting!

x
 
Thanks ladies, will reply to you all tomorrow to give you the response you deserve rather than a rushed one!

Nearly had a curry tonight as things were a bit rushed, but managed to resist and have a Subway salad instead. I've been feeling really bad about myself over the last couple of days, I still don't feel comfortable in my own skin and I seem to have been losing weight foreeeeveeeeerrrr! Don't worry I'll snap out of it soon, it's just tough sometimes as psychologically I feel fatter now that I did at nearly 25st. I was so blind to it all back then. So yeah, feeling a bit down and sad at the minute which isn't like me tbh, but I reckon all the exam stress isn't helping things. I'm just going to keep doing what I'm doing - on plan healthy food, and hopefully it'll pass soon.

Wednesday 21st May - EE
Breakfast - Chewy d - hexb
Lunch - Tuna pasta salad with tomatoes, sweetcorn, onions, olives, peppers - 3 syns
Snack - Muller
Tea - Roast chicken subway salad - 3 syns
Grapes
Total - 6 syns
 
I know exactly how you feel, and Im feeling that way at the moment. I feel like when I'm in the zone of losing weight it's ok, but sometimes ill put something on or look at a mirror when I'm standing a certain way and think "you're still so big" so even tho I'm smaller than I was... I'm still considered "big" and that does really get to me sometimes. X
 
The same thing has happened me too, I started a really moany thread about it a few weeks back. I'd seen an AWFUL photo of me, and got into a right mood thinking if this is what I look like now, after slogging my guts out, what's the point? Will it ever end!! I think I am more conscious of how I look now than I was at my biggest. I've put on a few pounds the last couple of weeks from not following plan while I was sick, and even though I know it will drop back off, and I am nowhere near as big as I was, I feel huger than usual.

But, we get over it, cos we know in the long run it is better for us. Still, we're entitled to the odd day feeling upset though xx
 
Oh Bev :( This is such a difficult journey we put ourselves through, I think we spend all of our time when we're larger thinking how amazing it will be to be thin and then we start to lose weight and everything doesn't become amazing and it's a bit of a let down!

I know it's cliche but think how far you've come. Imagine you were sitting here at your start weight (or more?) having not just been on holiday, probably worrying about you're wedding, worrying about getting your uniform for your course in September etc. But you have done SO well, and you will get that last bit of weight off - you need to learn to love the new you!

I know it's easy for me to say but from those picture you posted from your holiday you look absolutely gorgeous! I didn't see a fat person when I looked at those pictures I just saw a pretty girl on holiday!

Don't be too hard on yourself hun, this journey is hard enough as it is!

Big hugs XXX
 
Hi Bev,

Sorry you've been a bit down, I totally understand how you feel as I think sometimes LOSING weight makes us feel more vunerable in our our own skin, and can actually make us MORE aware of our size as it's decreasing which is great but on the flop side being MORE AWARE of it can make us more miserable about it than before if that makes sense, it's like when we are at our biggest we put up a shield cos we have to in order to deal with day to day life, but once the weight starts coming off the shield starts to come down leaving us a bit naked and exposed, until we develop new found confidence as the new us. You have lost so much compared to me but I already feel a little bit like this already....the other day I was shopping for some new summer tunics and I felt really miserable that I had to find ones of a certain length (to cover tum) and not too short on the arm (to cover bingo wings!) and then by the time I'd be looking for nice ones obessing over which ones to get for hours I felt really fat and fed up and sorry for myself, even though due to losing just over a stone I am buying them one size smaller than I was which is great but made me think more about what I was buying for some reason and therefore made me focus on my size AAAAAG! At my biggest(I was almost 28st befoe starting SW but managed to lose 5st over the years before I started) it would just have been a case of just getting something black!! Emotionally you are feeling different about your body and it will take some getting used to, but you have done wonders and will get to your goal, I feel it's never ending too and I've got a LONG way to go LOL! Once you got your exams over and are enjoying a lovely summer I think you'll really start loving your new shape as you carry on towards your ultimate goals, which I've no doubt you will get to! I'm sending you a big hug:)xxx
 
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